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About this blog

what s on my mind

Entries in this blog


Song suggestions please

Posting this in my blog so it'll be easier to find at a later date (I will also edit it to add the suggested songs) when I need it.

I've started the planning of my 30th birthday (early planning since I have friends and family interstate and those who need to give their bosses notice) party which will not be until the start of Feb ( 6 days after my birthday).

I would like song suggestions, my party theme is late 80s all 90s and up to 2010 dress.

Music I would like to be anywhere from mid 80s to 2010, please feel free to leave song suggestions :) 

Not hiring anyone at this point instead will use laptop or ipod for music.


MIL to be again

This was a status update, but due to size and I know it's not done yet felt blog would be better.


This happened Sunday 20th Aug 2017, 7:30pm.

MIL to be came over here last night unwelcomed, to demand the desktop computer she gave Michael back. BANGED (I mean banged like when you're punching something banged) on the door (door bell broke years ago) yelled at me to tell him. Again she called Michael a FING SELFISH PRICK, because he told her that it takes hours to transfer things if he has to give comp back. That's one of her go to lines.

I rang local police station and they told me I can't get a restraining order out unless she harms one of us or our property more then twice. First time is assault charge only. We can tell her to leave or refuse to answer door and have police removed her.  

Considering when Noel was in the local hospital near me (5/10min walk) she "forgot how to get to my house" so Michael could give her a lift home, she found our house yesterday in the dark. I have her phone numbers blocked on my phone and deleted her friend request on Facebook.

I got told by the police station that her threats aren't seen as something they deal with!

That homeowner (dad) has to be first to tell her to leave then police if she doesn't listen or he's not home.

Basically until the person harms you or your property atleast twice, you are powerless.


We know she'll be back sometime this week to try again.

When she comes back part of me so badly wants to say YOU'RE BANNED AND NOT ALLOWED HERE LEAVE! Then slam the door in her face. I will however be recording everything said if I think to grab phone at the time to do so.

Dad said he's going to padlock the front gate (instead of it just closed, back gates are pinned and locked to) again so she try getting in here, it used to be padlocked when he had the medium he owned out front. She wouldn't be able to jump it its too high for her to.

Thurs is her birthday, so it'll be Weds or Thurs she returns.

I'm angry she's free to verbally abuse because the law sucks.


That's why I wanted a restraining order to stop her being able to contact or come near, but got told no. 

I know if I really wanted to I could get her to the point she would lay a hand on me, but I'm not that type.

In one way he still has to in directly deal with her, Will hasn't been read by lawyers yet and Noels court case is still going but that's through Noels lawyers who have Michaels number.

Michael says don't answer the door to her. I think she's heading for Psych break because of everything she's done is biting her in the A.

We legally can psychward her if we feel she's a harm to herself or others (great psychologist I had told me that) and Michael said go for it (even he wanted me to get AVO out on her).

I don't want to unless it gets really bad, because her dogs only have her (as in people they know well), lost Noel, Michael moved out so they would have been grieving that and would stop eating etc from stress if they lost her for a day or more.


Best we can do is call police to tell her to leave. Gate was shut so she would have lifted the pin and opened it to get in here. To me closed gate is DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PERMISSION,  but she and her crazy self things the rule doesn't apply.

Michael thinks she'll be back when he and dad are at work, in the hopes she can get me to let her in or grab it.

Not happening there's no love or any good feelings to that woman, she's his mom and that's it is how I see it.

Michael says he thinks she's losing it, she told him pick up his dart board so she could rent his old bedroom out. He did and day later she rang to ask had he been to her house.


The exact words one of the local (where I live there's one in one area and another in a different area, both close to me) police stations told me last night when I called. I said so threats to KICK MY A** THROW ME BY THE SCRUFF OF MY NECK! YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT while trying not to have an Anxiety attack. That they're (AVO/restraining orders) very hard to get now.

She can verbally abuse and threaten us with no legal ramifications, because there's no physical harm or damage.

The law is fudged up that's for sure.  


I have abusive notes (Michael gave permission for me to share and show my psychologist) from her she wrote to him before he moved out of her house.

We're talking nasty stuff calling him lazy, selfish etc and playing the dying husband/ his dad card to try to get her own way. He works 5-6 day weeks 10-11 hour (Sat is 4 hours if he gets called in) days and she does nothing yet calls him selfish etc.






Caramel slice

My mom used to make this caramel slice when my siblings and I were growing up, it's still a family favourite now.

I double it when I make it, but have written the single batch recipe.


It's in metric but I've checked how to convert it so will be both:


1 395gm/ 13.93OZ can Sweetened condense milk (name brand seems to work better then store brand but that could just be here).

2 tablespoons golden syrup.

130/ 4.58OZ Butter

180gms plain biscuits/4OZ plain cookies

150gm/5.2OZ cooking chocolate.


Biscuit base: Melt 90gm/ 3.17oz of butter and crush the biscuits.

Mix the butter with the crushed biscuits and press the mixture into a pan. place in fridge to set.

Place condensed milk, golden syrup and left over butter in pan over medium heat.

Cook stirring constantly (mine always looks like a lumpy odd mess but its meant to a this point) 5-8 mins or until it thickens and becomes a light caramel colour (or the way I do it is, place half a tea spoon of it on a plate tip upside down and if it doesn't move its ready).

Take off heat, pour on to biscuit base spread evenly.

Allow to cool for about 30mins.

Melt the chocolate in a bowl, I use the microwave as its quicker.

pour melted chocolate over the caramel.

Place all in fridge until chocolate has set.

Then serve.






Update on Michaels dad

July 2015 we got told Noel/ Michaels dad has stage 4 Bowel Cancer.


Last year they said they had got it all over then a spot on his liver, which they shrunk enough to remove.


They told him last month they thought he has 5-8 years of life left.


Sunday 7th May he came out of hospital, but went back in on Tuesday 9th due to an infection he got put in ICU.


Friday 12th May: Michaels mom Paula walks in Michaels room (his door was open) and goes OH you're both in here Noels going downhill fast, drs called a family meeting with her. The Chemo has stopped working, his Liver is beyond repairing the Cancer has taken over.


She then starts with: You 2 need to think about getting married while he's alive unless your going to deny him that pleasure or seeing it.

I said were getting house first.



I told Michael I'm going for walk so went to the playground 5:40pm at night and rang a friend, rang oldest sister, rang dad.

Sat at the playground until it was too dark and cold to stay out walked back to Michaels.


I said to Michael later basically as much as I want to marry you, I'm not rushing it cause then it could end (due to dealing with her and a child's sized bedroom) badly. Also said his room is too small and with a house we'd basically be able to be in different rooms when annoyed at each other.


Worse comes to worse YES we can get house on one income (he tried saying she means its hard. That's not what the money hungry itch said thou besides her house was brought with Noels income and her government benefit as she was classed as job seeker at the time) or we would live here (at dads) for little while. We wouldn't be happy living with her because of her BPD mood swings (as in if she got nasty and tried throwing him out, she threatened to once before when things didn't go her way).


My focus is being there for Michael since he needs support, holding myself together while also facing the fact that his dad is not going to see us get married or ever visit when we do get a house. Also dealing with her.


Saturday 19 Paula tried a verbal attack on me while Michael was asleep but didn't get anywhere. 

Then tried saying her mom rang her and tried blaming Noel for his cancer. Michaels grandma is NOT that type so I think Paula said it in hopes Michael and I will turn on his grandparents. Michael was told what his mom claims and also doubts his grandma said it. 


update 22 May: Went to take in a coffee for him, he wasn't there. Paula has ability to use his cell phone, his Facebook, her own cellphone and house phone to contact us since Noel couldn't due to sedation still. I wasn't told nor was Michael their own son!

Noel's gone home for a little while, he's going into palliative care very soon. 


When it was just Michael, Noel and I in the room (also when just Noel and I) not once did he say anything about hanging on til he says Michael and I marry or that it's his dying wish. 

He did however say to me when I was there yesterday, that Paula needs to pull her behaviour in line once he passes. Also suggested a home loan and real estate they went through to get their house.  

So the wedding talk and we should live with her has been confirmed to be her doing not his. Which is what I thought. 


I ended up up leaving the room when she was there because she started verbally attacking me. I didn't want that stress on Michael or Noel. 

Michael followed a couple minutes later and told me what Noel said, which is written below. 

Noel told her he's sick of her trying to interfere in Casey (me) and Michaels relationship and causing problems by attaching us so much. 


I suspect Noel can see that by her attacking she's pushing not only me away but also her son. She's single hand ably ruining the only family relationship she will have left. 


I'm doing my best to support Michael while also trying to cope with it all. I'm thankful I have a loving supportive family who consider Michael family. 



How the fur, scale and feather kids aka pets got their names: 


Ruby came named but mom did middle name Ruby and that's Jean. She's named after a lovely friend of moms who passed years before I got Ruby. 


Little Keg aka Cassie: came from Animal welfare league with no name. She started off as Rosie then Chelsea (my niece who's now 16) renamed her Cassie after her Cabbage patch doll she had at the time. Then she got fat in grandmas care and became Little Keg. 


Cooper: We had Smudge (tans and white Mini Fox terrier who had a heart murmur) and knew when he passed we'd need to get a new addition to the family because Smudge was dads sidekick and went almost everywhere with dad. One day I was in mom and dads room with them  looking through a alcohol catalogue just as a joke and saying different names, Brandy sounded too girly, Bundy (as in bundaberg rum) but that made me think of Ted Bundy too much. About to walk out of their room the tin of Coopers home brew beer and said what about Cooper? When dad brought him home I cuddled Cooper and said you're Cooper. 


George: From Loony Toons the Abominable Snowman that liked bugs bunny. 


Snow aka No no: White bunny so snow stuck and no no because he does this head shake from time to time like he's saying no. 


Honey: Partly her colour and partly oh you poor honey needing help. Had to call her something when she first came before we knew she was staying. 


Bun: Poor little bunny needing help, same as honey. 


Ralph: Chelsea, Katie (my sister/Chelseas mom) were talking names and Chelsea said what about Ralph? I like the name Ralph and it stuck. Partly Ralph perfume and partly Simpsons is where she got it from. 


Aussie and Belle: Aussie because he's an Eastern Water Dragon (native but was not taken from wild) and Belle because it popped in my head. 


Monty: Partly short for monitor and partly Monty Burns from the Simpsons. 


Fang: Was Jack when we had a 2nd turtle with him named Jim. Brianna (niece) and I named them. Jim passed so Jack became fang. 


Chirpy: We couldn't think of a name that suited and he chirps a lot. I said to dad one day why not Chirpy since he's always chirping. 


Birdie: Again couldn't think of suitable name. Tried white fang but sounded odd for a bird. When we talk to him it's always birdie and so the name stuck. 


The other lizards dont don't have names they look the same so can't tell apart. 



Since I was suggested a few times to write this thought I'd finally take the time and do it. I haven't included the turtle or fish. Also Michaels turtle Squirtle is not included only because he doesn't live here. I'll be talking about the ones who are still here but a little about the 3 dogs we had for years and the puppy (only had for 3 days) we had that passed since they're tied into it. It's long and I've tried to paragraph it so each one is about each fur/scale.


Ruby, Kelpie Blue Heeler cross, 13 years old. Came 2004: Ruby was given to me (they like to still bring up how they got her for me, they're that type that like to remind you of anything they do for you) by my sister Katie's in-laws because I really wanted a dog. She was 13 weeks old, came from people they knew who were going to keep her but got told about how I had been given a rescue (it got shut down after) puppy (again Katie's in-laws doing) but the rescue puppy had Parvo virus (the rescue hadn't vaccinated him the pups he came in with or others) so had to be put down after being with me for 3 days. His name was Elmo he was a Blue Heeler Kelpie cross and 8 weeks old and I was heart broken. They felt so bad they gave Katie's in laws Ruby for me mom got a call asking for us to go over, got there (Katie's in laws) and Ruby was out the back she's been my baby since then.


Little Keg aka Cassie 13 Mini Fox Terrier. Came 2005: Katie's in-laws wanted a second dog to keep their older Jack Russel Louie company. So her father in law and I went to a shelter (good one) after he called the shelter and they said we have a female, spayed Mini Fox Terrier here who's about a year old. We met her and she was this skinny, scared, little girl who may have had puppies but they didn't find any with her but her teats were sagging and hair falling out. A week later Katie calls mom up, asking can grandma (dads mom) take Cassie in. Mom calls grandma and yes all is good, pick her up take her to grandma and grandpas instant love of course. 6 months later Cassie becomes Little Keg due to grandma WAY over feeding her. 2011, grandma and grandpa go into nursing home due to Dementia. We take in Keg and Midget (same breed, accidental puppy of Smudge who passed in 2007 and Minnie who passed in 2016. Midget passed 2015 all 3 had heart problems found later in life) so we have 5 dogs suddenly, which was a hand full but worked. Keg has lost some weight and has had food cut down to right amount for her, is still fat but happy and mostly healthy.


Cooper 8 turning 9 Mini Fox Terrier came 2008: Smudge passed away 2007 and had been going to work with dad since Smudge was a year old, so it hit dad very hard losing Smudge and over time he felt it was time to get a work buddy again. He went to a breeder (Smudges breeder was no longer breeding) and picked out Cooper at 8 weeks old and brought him home. In almost 9 years dad and Coop have never been more then 2 weeks apart (not all at once but spread over time) they are very bonded with each other. Coop likes males better then females.


Ralph Inland Bearded Dragon 6 years old came here 2012: I wanted a lizard and looked into getting a Bearded Dragon or Blue Tongue Lizard/ Skink and choose Bearded Dragon. He's the most laid back lizard, doesn't always want to come out of his home but is well cared for.


The other lizards/dragons 2013-2016: 3 Bearded Dragons, 2 Eastern Water Dragons, 4 Southern Angled headed Dragons and a Storrs (30cm/12in/1ft max) Monitor: I've grouped them because they're all dads and here because he liked the look of them, looked into what they need and got the permit needed for them then got them over time. Its always been a ok What do they need? Do we have space? Can we afford them? Before getting them.


Princess Parrots: Had 2 Green ones from grandmas and saw 2 blues in the bird supply shop liked them knew how to care for them have room so got them. 


George Black Standard Rabbit 2014 2 almost 3 years old: We had been looking after Katie (her husband and 3 kids) bunny while she was trying to get approval by her land lord to have their bunny there. Sadly bunny passed away suddenly, stopped eating the Sunday and before we could get her to vet Monday passed away. I wanted my own bunny, said I wanted a Grey Dwarf.....Looked for a rescue but there were no babies and no Grey ones, went to a pet store (I know not the best thing to do) and fell in love with this handful of black fluff. Got told he's a standard rabbit so will not be small like a Dwarf, ok no big deal brought him home and he's a fat happy bunny.


Snow aka No No after Katie's bunny passed dad (who was never a bunny person other then buying them from the butcher ready to cook, which he still does) wanted a bunny. Again looked for rescue but none. We were getting Georges hay and the place had Dwarf Lop eared bunnies, picked out No No brought him home. At the time we got told No No was a girl (unless you see testicals its really hard to tell), nope No No is a boy, he's in his own hutch.


Honey Dwarf white Rabbit Dec 18th 2015 and Bun Standard brown/black and grey Dec 31st 2015: Honey hot day came in our yard and first glance dad thought she was No No but nope No No was in his hutch still. Gave her water and food, dad popped her in humane cat trap in shade away from the dogs until we could borrow hutch later that night. We were going to call RSCPA to get her but, that time of year so many unwanted so she stayed. Bun, same thing came in hot day looking for help and was helped has stayed. We did ask neighbours had they lost a bunny with both and got told no so we kept them. Both were under weight, hungry, starting to dehydrate, losing fur, scared and shaking. Bun I asked friends did they want her, since we didn't think we had room and didn't have hutch. We made room and dad built a hutch.


Chirpy 2015 Galah 2: Our talking Galah who came from grandmas (she got him from her sister before the sister moved) sadly passed away, we have no idea what his age was. Dad saw ad in the paper for hand reared Galahs so we got Chirpy.


Birdie 2016 White Indian Ringneck 1 year old: Different bird supply place (its next door to one of 2 places that do the best fries/hot chips in South Australia) dad and I popped into get Chirpy toys to play with for enrichment and saw a hand reared white Indian Ringneck, who needs work doesn't like females and was starting to talk. I tried talking dad into getting him, we walked out with just toys and no birds. Couple weeks later dad comes inside and tells me the Indian Ring neck had been sold which I was disappointed about to a point, I thought he was so cool and grandma had them at one point to. He was sold alright to dad, 2 weeks later Birdie comes home and I see him when Michael and I get back here. He can talk a little but likes to do it when he thinks we can't hear or see him. He's not a patting bird, dad can pat his beak if hes quick other wise birdie gets bitey still.


Since there's so many things still weighing on my mind I felt part 2 was needed. Most of this has been copy and pasted from Facebook just to save retyping it all.


To start where the last blog left off, I text the team leader aka support person, Hey Matt its Casey, I can't come in today I've been throwing up on and off all night sorry. To which 5 hours later I get the reply of Can you bring your shirt in Friday after 12. Cheers for giving it a go. I politely answered will do. Now the problem I have there is what if I wasn't going to be quitting later that day? I just got fired for calling in sick. I truthfully had been sick, plus a little dehydrated, highly stressed to the point I was shaking (its Summer here so wasn't cold).


Here are some of the things we got told to say: Was Tell people they were going to book appointment about solar. Talk to them like they were a puppy or kid.


IN BOSS'S EXACT WORDS: Basically your job is to pay for my kids Christmas gifts.

Make eye contact and best way to get a sale is look them in the eye like you want to make passionate love to them, the older guys love it when the females do it and almost always works. Flirt like you do at a bar. That made me feel so gross

Lie to them about how many appointments have been booked and how they'll miss out if they don't book. Oh but that info doesn't leave room.

You're a short little S**T aren't you? Boss said, passing it off as a joke.

Don't sign old people up its a waste of time, they can't pay the system off in 3/5 years.

We had a chart that says this week x amount of sales you must hit that went up and up

We got told to knock on do not knock doors, but sheet had a box to tick if it was do not knock. I did not knock on any do not knocks.

To "verbally grab them by the throat" or lie to them in order to get a sale.


I sat down 8:30 Tuesday (aka first night after work) night to check emails and my left knee was moving side to side on its own while my leg was straight. At one point it started to slip to the point I couldn't stand up yet, unless I wanted to risk it dislocating. Could not eat dinner, without wanting to throw up. Still feeling like that after food.


Last night walked into Michaels (parents) and instantly broke down, told them what happened. Was so bad I hugged (asked her for one) and chatted to mother in law.  I was shaking so badly 


Then this morning I had a status up about how much pain I was in (muscle and endometriosis), mentally how drained I was, how I had still been crying on and off and about sun burn. My nasty aunty (both have said so many nasty things in past)'s husband basically accused me of wanting attention and told me all work places are like that. They're not.

After that I blocked both from inboxing on Facebook, unfollowed and all statuses they cannot see. I cant unfriend them without there being a crap storm. 2 things I will say though is 1 I told dad and Michael I will not push them into going to events that those 2 nasty pieces of work have, unless its for nana. 2 I'm done with them for good, that was the straw that broke the camels back.

After all that this morning I was sitting on Michaels (he was asleep) bed trying to hold myself together. I've learnt I'll never be good enough in that aunty's eyes, instead I copied her by getting engaged not long after her. I'm a bridezilla because I didn't want anyone wearing sweats to engagement party are just couple things she said. Also that I shouldn't spend any money since I said about saving for a house.



I feel horrible saying this (so no nasty comments please can't take any today) but I cannot do this job. I cant do those hours, that amount of stress to make them x amount of sales (you dont get any conmission unless someone buys the product) a day that seems undoable, that if you need to finish early you dont get taken back to office instead offered to be dropped at nearest bus stop, told one set of hours and have it changed and tld one pay only to have it change. I've been ...up for over an hour throwing up, massive Anixety that hasnt fully stopped since yesterday, Panic attack this morning, Endo pain to top it off. I wanted to show I could do it, but I can't without risking my own health. I honestly feel like I failed but I gave it my all. Dad and Michael both know just how bad I felt yesterday, after finally getting home. I have been crying on and off since 5:30pm yesterday and its currently 6:05am, I know theres something more suited. I feel like hell today. I woke dad up at 4:25 after throwing up because I needed a hug and advice, I feel bad waking him up


Not my day

Not my day it seems. Some nasty piece of work guy (keeping it g/pg on here) walks over to dads land cruiser (flat bed truck) and starts going off at me telling me to move it because it's blocking his drive way and he was trying to get in he was in already. I was saying look I don't drive so can't move it, he's in that house and named.... ask for him. The guy I'm going to get the council out, you fatty he starts trying to take photos of the land cruiser. At this point I'm MAD at getting verbally attacked he could have worded things better but didn't, I get out and in the process slip on the wet ground bang my head on a tree. This piece of work starts laughing and saying that I'm mentally unstable and he wasn't swearing at me. I block (by standing in front of number plates) his view and he's there Go fall again you've got something seriously mentally wrong with you. Me yeah I fing do it's Depression mate. He walks to front of land cruiser, I block and say GET THE F AWAY FROM MY DADS LAND CRUSIER, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM HE'S IN THAT HOUSE THERE. Guys there WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO HUH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO. Me shaking at this point barely holding tears in more then you know buddy. He barges to the door demanding the land cruiser gets moved (I was trying to ring dad at same time) and says to dad GET YOUR DAUGHTER IN CHECK SHE'S NOT STABLE! Are you kidding me WHO talks to a female (a little 5ft nothing young and he looked double my age and fair height difference on me) like that. Poor home owner knows the guy is a nasty piece of work and is there, I'm so sorry would you like a glass of water are you ok over and over. I have a headache, feel like I'm going to throw up, shaking, couple bruises and still crying after all this. He did not try calm he went for the verbal attack. I tried polite and had to get him to repeat when he asked who's car (it's not a car so I was confused and Cooper was barking) it was. Going for the mentally unstable line on anyone is low, I am mentally stable more then some it seems.


Getting things off my chest

Getting this off my chest: I didn't date when I was younger (boys weren't interested in me at school) so technically Michael is considered my first love (he dated other girls before meeting me so I'm not his first) and people (including family) seem to have the need to say oh first loves don't usually last. It honestly gets really hard when people say that, it basically comes across as they doubt he and I will work out. We've been together since Aug 26th 2012 and engaged since Jan 24th 2015, so safe to say yes I do want a future with him. I honestly feel like snapping at people when they say it, they seem to forget he and I are well and truly adults (he's 27 this year and I turned 28 in Jan). I've spoken to my Psychologist about it because it does upset me when people say things, she told me she personally knows people who were first loves and have lasted (one are her aunty and uncle who were 14 when they started dating and now are in their 60s). I cannot understand why people seem to think that first loves don't last, relationships take work (we work on ours) and some will work out for good and others end. 


Hard/Sad time.

I'll start at the beginning, about 7 weeks ago Michaels dad had started getting pains at first he and his wife/Michaels mom thought it was his reflux playing up. He had gone to their old dr every week and that stupid dr kept telling him nothing is wrong no tests nothing. He changed drs and the new one sent him off for a range of tests. Tests came back and showed he had stage 4 bowel cancer and it had spread to his liver as well. The first dr stuffed up by not helping him allowing the cancer to get that bad and for it to also spread. He saw the first cancer dr (he has a different better one now) who said to him and his wife he has 50% change of living past 5 years. The new dr is now saying 75% chance of living more then 5 years, which is better then the first one. We are taking it day by day, I'm trying to be there for Michael and his parents. His (Michaels) mom is getting nastier and nastier she has said some really nasty stuff to Michael and I. I try to be understanding that she's a difficult person, plus menopause combine that with what she's feeling (hurt, fear, anger etc) and you need to take it as she's lashing out due to these things. Michael is reaching breaking point with her,(she wants Michael to not only pay board but do all the household shopping for the 3 of them) by that I mean he's getting ready to leave and barely speak to her. She has pretty much stopped talking to her parents because they won't do what she wants, she wants them to baby her and pay for all her expenses as well as other things she wants. She has gotten angry and taken moods out on me because I won't tell Michael to do what she wants and I take his side or defend him when it's the right thing to do. In the past she has said so many nasty things about me, it's at the point now I go there once a week and Michaels here twice a week. Right now I worry that it will get to the point Michael does say f you to her and cuts her out of his life. I ended up having many Anxiety attacks over it all and 2 panic attacks. I currently have and will continue to avoid his mom when I can due to the fact she is being so nasty at the moment and I can't take her crap.


4 dogs now not 5 :(

Friday we had Midget (14 year old Mini Fox Terrier) put to sleep. The heart meds weren't working anymore, she had started having 2 fits daily on Wednesday and they we're when we were home she may have had them while we weren't home. We decided that it was the best and kindest thing to put her to sleep rather then have her suffer, continue to worsen and risk her needing emergency when we're not home. Sadly her father had a heart murmur to he lived til 7 (passed 2007) and was on the meds and fluid tablets, Minnie her mother has one as well (not on meds, but is monitored by vet to watch it). She was an accidental pup (tried keeping the dogs apart until Minnie was able to be dexexed and that didn't work) and was the only one in the litter, at the time Smudge (father) and Minnie (mother) were not know to have the heart problems. It's a hard choice to make to let them go, a part of you wants to keep them but the other part knows it's not whats best, so what was best for her was done. She went to vets for last time after getting treats and dad was there when she went. She passed fast (first needle and she went, they still did 2nd needle), her ashes will be coming home in 9 working days. It's hard and heartbreaking for us (her family) and the vet plus nurses who saw her grow up. She saw the head vet who used to treat her father, the staff were very nice and gave dad time and had a sign on the door.


A few things I get sick of hearing when people find out I want to be a vet nurse and am currently in a course for Animal Attentant (Cert 3 and Vet nurse is cert 4, need 3 to get in 4). 1 You know vet nurses don't make lots of money, my answer I'm not in it for the money if I was I wouldn't last. 2 It's not all puppies and kitties all day, umm yeah I know that I also know and am being reminded how much cleaning there is. 3 I thought about it instead of the job I'm in cause I don't really like people, vet clinics have people in and out all the time clients are brought in by owners so dealing with people. Plus other things.

Couple of things learnt in the last 2 weeks, cleaning is never ending in the vets. I fit in a dog holding cage lol < had to clean and disinfect any cages that had been used. Death stares from dogs are part of the package, but they normally don't mean them Some dogs hate anything to do with grooming others are model dogs (like people). So much hair from grooming I thought Ruby was hairy with just normal brushing and shedding. Bath a dog and you will get partly bathed to (already partly knew it) when scared some dogs with release what's in their anal glads, don't stand behind when they do or it's poop sprayed on you (no didn't happen to us but we were warned) Scrub tops are not stylish but are comfortable and keep you clearner then if you weren't wearing it. Lastly that it's worth doing it all and when an owner comes to collect their fur baby they're happy to see each other and that makes it worth it


The star thrower story

I love this short story/poem it applies to people and animals. We not not be able to save all but we atleast try to save them

The Star Thrower Loren Eiseley story

A man was walking on the beach one day and noticed a boy who was reaching down, picking up a starfish and throwing it in the ocean. As he approached, he called out, “Hello! What are you doing?” The boy looked up and said, “I’m throwing starfish into the ocean”. “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the man. “The tide stranded them. If I don’t throw them in the water before the sun comes up, they’ll die” came the answer. “Surely you realize that there are miles of beach, and thousands of starfish. You’ll never throw them all back, there are too many. You can’t possibly make a difference.” The boy listened politely, then picked up another starfish. As he threw it back into the sea, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”


Facts about me.

1: My screen name is from my dog (my furbaby) Ruby 04 is the year she was born and I got her.

2:13 is my lucky number because Ruby was 13 weeks old when I got her and she was born on Jan 13th

3: I prefer being around animals more than people

4: I'm not scared of reptiles at all but am of bugs other than butterflies, dragonflies and ladybugs

5: My whole life we (mum, dad and I) have always had atleast 1 dog

6: I'm the youngest of 5, 2 sisters and twin brothers

7: I'm an aunty many times

8: I'm a very warm person to most people. If someone hurts me I can be very cold

9: I produce too much body heat, but only if I'm with someone or one of the dogs

10: I hate mopping and cleaning but love cooking

11: I love caring for others

12: I want more animals dad and I have 5 dogs, a bearded Dragon, 2 turtles, 3 Princess parots, a Galah, countless tropical fish and 7 goldfish.

13: I've pretty much always found it hard to make friends.

14: I met my boyfriend online and we met in person a month later (would have been sooner but he was sick)

15: We've been together 7 months as of the 26th March

16: I still have Anxiety, Depression, OCD and social phobias just not as bad.

17:I was a mommy's girl until she passed away.

18:I have problems sleeping, sleeping meds (natural and dr prescibed) didn't work or made me feel zombie like or both.

19: I have a few health problems nothing too bad

20: My boyfriend and I fell in love fast.

21:I'm half German and half Aussie.

22: I get 3 white hairs and have since I was about 18 or 19 so I dye my hair. Often it's plums and dark reds, my natural colour is a dark brown with 2 (natural) blonde bits.

23: I have 1 tattoo at the moment of a butterfly for my mom, ears pierced had my nose pierced until it came out. Will get more tats and nose redone

24: I hate the dark or being home alone at night

25: I love taking photos butdon't like my photo being taken unless I'm having a I feel pretty day.

26: I've had random guys in cars yell things out at me alot like calling me things I'm not. Also had older ladies give me death stares for wearing slightly low tops or dresses (I don't wear anything very low without a singlet under it)

27: I'm not vert confident. Suck at Maths and hate spelling

28: I dropped out of school because of bullies and not being able to cope. I did half of year 11. A TAFE course in certificate 1 am now doing certificate 2 in a different subject.

29: With somethings I'm smart and have shocked people. I love learning but in my own way and time

30: I'm fussy food wise

31: I can't draw but can trace. Love singing but don't like people hearing me sing

32:I want to get married and have babies one day just not right this minute

33: I don't care about what the lastest fashion is, I wear what I like

34: I'm very girly but will hand feed (using tweezers) Ralph (my Beared Dragon) mealworms.

35: Pretty much anything anyone wants to know about me I will tell them.

36: I don't have many secrets of my own


Ruby my dog

Ruby (my dog/fur baby) has to go to the vet, her good ear is swollen like her bad ear was. Which could mean my poor baby has another Aural Hematoma if she does she'll need it drainned poor baby she's always had ear problems on and off. This could mean she'll have another surgery but on a different ear this time, she's going to the vet as soon as dad can get her in. At the moment it's not hurting her which is good but it will be seen by a vet ASAP




1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours. :lol:


Ruby (my dog)

Ruby's going to the vet, her leg is still very sore. She's able to walk, but because she yelps when you try to check it and she wimpers a little when she walks she's going to get it checked. She's her happy self, she's eating and drinking. She wanted to go to grandma's (dad's mum's it's kinda like doggy day care) like normal, she went running out to the ute but had to get in the ute not on it. It hurts for her to jump and she won't let us lift her cause it hurts, so she's at grandma's until she goes to the vet later today. The good thing about her being at grandma's is I know she'll be resting just like if she had stayed home.So because she can't jump on her bed or dad's bed or my bed we're taking the cushions from the couch in the computer room and puting them on the floor for her. Hopefuly she sleeps better tonight, she was very restless last night. Poor baby, I hate her being in pain. She's clingly at the moment I can't blame her, I know when I'm in pain I want someone to give me a hug and talk to me.


Funny mum story 2

My mum was once telling she couldn't stand the smell or taste of Sambuca. She then told me why: Years ago her and her best friend Jean (Dec) tried to make homemade Sambuca, Jean told mum you have to drink ex amount of shots in a row and they have to be drunk while still warm. Mum was never a big drink but drank them anyway, the next morning she woke up and threw up on to Jeans peg basket with pegs in it. :w00t: Mum and Jean were so funny together, Jean was shorter than mum and dad nick named Jean Garden Gnomeie. I know they're back together running a muck lol :wub:


Funny mum story 1

Funny mum story from when we lived in Gawler: Mum had this frog green Mini and this one time it was raining so bad we had a flood so there's Katie, mum and me driving through a flood in a damn mini with water upto the windows. Thinking back now it's funny :lol::D



I hate this feeling it's surreal, I want someone to tell me it's all a bad dream. I'm coping best I can. Apart of me wants to go do stupid things as a way of coping but it won't help anything. I'm ok then I'm shaking badly. Our little dog Cooper laid were mum had passed and he started crying which broke my heart. My 3 year old nephew said nite nite nanna I love you which broke my heart. My 8 year old niece saw the her dad and the EMT's working on her, then my nieces saw me scream a blood chilling scream and drop then dad hold me up. They shouldn't have had to see that, of all the bad people who should be gone they pick a great person who touched so many to pass. She was meant to be going to my oldest sister's wedding next year, she's never going to see her youngest grandchildren grow or see me have children or get married. The last thing she said to me was "You'll have to walk on the grass" because of the shoes I was wearing. Times like this I would turn to her but she's not here in the flesh. I have my dad and family but it's not the same. She wasn't really that sick she was getting better then she suddenly went but was in no pain. She did it her way like with her life :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

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