Denial of an Insurance Claim
Entry posted by Purplos
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Notherworld Insurance Group
1337 Far Fara Way
Sometown, Notherworld, 0U812
Dear Mr. Madison,
In regard to your recent request for insurance compensation for your unfortunate accident, we regret to deny your claim. We at Notherworld Insurance Group are aware that your 1992 Ford was, indeed, totaled in the altercation with the Heebeegeebee Death Worm, and sympathize with your plight.
However, we must draw your attention to Section IV, Sub-section F, Unit XXVII, Sub-unit Q of the Insurance Coverage Client's Manual. The above mentioned clearly states:
Insurance claims will not be honored in the following instances:
1. Damage or destruction caused by naturally occurring meteorological events
2. Damage or destruction caused by unnaturally occurring meteorological events
3. Damage or destruction caused by irate ex-spouses, lovers, or close friends
4. Damage or destruction caused by acts of gods, godesses, demi-gods, demons, minor imps, or false prophets
5. Damage or destruction caused by attack, either provoked or unprovoked, rampage, stampede, general ill will, or hunger or any actual, mythological, cryptozoological, or just plain made-up animal, vegetable or mineral.
We would also like to point out that, since the aforementioned Heebeegeebee death worm was duly warned against on signs posted in the vicinity of the accident, your lack of forethought in entering said area showed the type of idiocy we usually raise our customers into the next payment bracket for. However, since this is your first offense, we shall let it slide this time.
We do hope that this satisfies your claim dispute. We look forward to providing all future insurance needs for you.
Sincerely,
Quasi Loophole
Notherworld Insurance Adjuster
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