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Mental Mudslide

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Failed as a friend?


Keel M.

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For the first time in my life, I think I've failed as a friend.

Last night I was fiddling around on Facebook when I got a private message from a friend who wanted to know what I really thought of him. Apparently he was really in a funk and my occasional brutal honesty is what he needed just then. I wasn't in the mood to help nor really answer his question because I didn't think it's what he really needed to help him. I still don't think telling him what I really think of him would serve him well in the state he was in.

The truth is, I prefer keeping him at arms' length. He's a fun guy to be around and he's good at retelling stories of stuff that has happened to him, but it's all about stuff in the past. I also get a strong vibe that he wishes I wasn't a lesbian. Just the way he tries to treat me like one of the guys, which is a mistake. Just because I prefer women doesn't mean I want to be a man. When he hugs me in greeting after we haven't seen one another in months, his hug is a bit too long.

He doesn't have a job, but these days he's never in town long enough to search for a job. He's living with friends right now and last year went on a huge trip to Italy with this woman he knows who lives in Houston. He was able to go only because a relative died last summer and he inherited a few thousand dollars. I admit I haven't always been the most financially savvy person in the world, but I'd like to think I'd have been a bit more wise with that money.

After the first of the year, I think at some point he was working up in Ohio for a few months. No clue what he did with that money he should've been saving. If I recall correctly, he returned in early summer and went on two more trips. He's also bought a car. I doubt the little clunker he had provided much in way of trade in, so I haven't a clue where he's getting the money to pay for it. The only thing I can conclude is that his inheritance was a lot more than I imagined.

If I had to guess, I'd say the funk he was in last night might possibly be due to the friends he lives with asking him if/when he might move out. I just didn't have the emotional energy to spend on him and I think that makes me a terrible friend since I have asked him once in the past for a shoulder to cry on.

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spartan max2

Posted

" I just didn't have the emotional energy to spend on him and I think that makes me a terrible friend since I have asked him once in the past for a shoulder to cry on."

I only know the information you shared. Sometimes its okay to not help people out if they are constantly an emotional drain on you. I don't know the situation but if you don't have the emotional energy then you don't have the emotional energy.

Like if this is the first time that he ever came to you with a problem and you turned him away just cause you didn't feel like dealing with it then that kinda does make you a bad friend.

He probably does wish you were not lesbian, he might like you. At least that what it sounds like to me.

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