Life is a tumultuous series of seemingly random occurences. Or at least, in my experience it is. Most of the time absolutely nothing interesting at all happens but every once in a while, an event so completely unexpected happens and it disrupts the rut I have buried myself in. One such event happened to me about six months ago. I got a job. Ever since then, it seems I have done nothing but work. I still watch a lot of TV but since I have very limited channels now and no DVR (due to the ridiculous apartment policy) I have to watch things as they air or sometimes not at all. This is my life now. Work, television, sleep. It's all I do. Sometimes skipping one or the other. I've called in sick once because I needed a break, it was pouring down rain, I was only scheduled for four hours that day and I was actually feeling a bit sick. I immediately regretted it because I need the money. My cousin and I are moving again because his roomate is getting married and he wouldn't be able to afford a new place on his own. My roomate should be fine alone since he gets paid more than me. Although it's hard to notice sometimes.
Working at McDonald's has been interesting to say the least. It's neat to see what goes on behind the scenes in a fast food restaurant. Some of it I wish I hadn't seen. It's not as bad as people say, if food falls on the floor, we throw it away. Sometimes I feel like the employees and even the managers are a little too laid back though. People can get away with a lot is what I'm saying. And when the bosses drop by, everyone steps up their game and starts strictly following guidelines again. It can be a little confusing when you're told how to do something and then someone else comes in and tells you to do it a different way.
In these past six months, I've learned that I don't handle stress well. I think too hard about everything, I worry too much and I don't know how to release stress effectively. My hair is already turning gray and falling out and I'm only 22. I'm not sure if that's normal but I'm pretty sure it isn't. My legs are always tired, I cough way too much for someone who isn't sick and most nights, I don't get a lot of sleep. I've been thinking more and more about leaving and taking a bus somewhere. Getting on a plane and never looking back. But when I think about leaving my family behind, I realize I can't do it. I care about them too much to just leave them. My brother has saved my life more times than I can count and he doesn't even know it. I think my outlook on things will change when I leave Mickey D's and go work at Walmart. More hours, higher pay, less stressful. I think I'll be just fine assuming I can even get hired.
The only downside to leaving McDonald's I can think of is a girl I've got my eye on. We've just recently started talking but she's been working since before I got hired. Now you must understand that I don't talk to anyone that doesn't ask me a question. If I don't have to say anything, I don't. But with her, I just feel like I need to talk to her. And the more we talk, the more I learn about her and the more I learn about her, the more I want to know and the more I know, the more I like her. It's been a long time since this has happened to me and it's going to suck when I find out that she's got her eye on someone else (which a recent conversation has led me to believe). But that's not going to make me stop talking to her. Even if she does end up with someone else, at least I will have a great new friend. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. The truth is it will probably kill me and what little self esteem I have and I will fall into a chasm of despair and Netflix.
I have begun to look at a writing career more seriously, even going so far as to think about taking college classes. The motivation being that I hate working and I want more time to write so I can eventually accidenally write something people like and become a best-selling author and never have to work again. The way I see it, if I write a few successful novels or maybe a young adult series, I can sell the movie, tv and/or distribution rights. Then if the films or shows become hugely popular, I'll have it made. I can sit at home or go out and enjoy the world, as long as I write a couple hours per day, enough to meet contractual obligations and all that. That's the kind of life I want. And I won't stop until I get it.
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