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Things to do on a blind date


tcgram

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No matter if you're single or attached, chances are you will go on or have gone on a blind date at some point in your life.  Keep in mind these tips if you are in such a situation again.   

Things to do on a blind date

1. Bring 20 or so candles into the restaurant. During the meal, get up & arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.
2.Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
3.Repeat every third third word you say say.
4.Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
5.Order a bucket of lard.
6.Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.
7.Drool.
8.Refuse to communicate in anything but mime for the entire evening.
9.Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.
10.Take a break & go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date, with a straight face, "They need to air out."
11.Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.
12.Save the bones from your meal & explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

17 Comments


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sees

Posted (edited)

You could try a line I overheard at a party ....

"what sign are you?" 

"Gemini" 

"OH!!   No wayy man!"  and walk away

Edited by sees
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My friend went on a blind date once and the date actually did turn out to be blind, Had the white stick and everything. They never did get a second date (not on account of his disability though).

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I went on one blind date when I was younger.....turned out to be a pompous bore of a guy and spent the evening telling me what a great catch he was and how all these women were after him.    :sleepy:

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9 minutes ago, tcgram said:

I went on one blind date when I was younger.....turned out to be a pompous bore of a guy and spent the evening telling me what a great catch he was and how all these women were after him.    :sleepy:

A bit sad that he felt the need to do that i.e. clearly lying/overcompensating else why would he need to go on a blind date!?

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little_dreamer

Posted

All I know is - it's a bad sign when all your blind date wants to talk about are ex-love interests.  And you just listen and try to be sympathetic just to survive the night. :unsure:

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5 minutes ago, little_dreamer said:

All I know is - it's a bad sign when all your blind date wants to talk about are ex-love interests.  And you just listen and try to be sympathetic just to survive the night. :unsure:

Yes - it's said to be a no-no to talk about exes on the first date!   Not a winning formula!

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8 minutes ago, little_dreamer said:

All I know is - it's a bad sign when all your blind date wants to talk about are ex-love interests.  And you just listen and try to be sympathetic just to survive the night. :unsure:

My friend who set up the blind date was a bit upset with me, but I left the club early.  He started dancing with some other girl so I snuck out.  

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little_dreamer

Posted

And then there is the moment when you realize that your matchmaking friend doesn't know you very well, or is well-meaning but clueless.

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NightScreams

Posted

All my blind dates were also one night stands. Now I just wish I could repeat them lol.

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On 2/26/2017 at 5:01 PM, little_dreamer said:

All I know is - it's a bad sign when all your blind date wants to talk about are ex-love interests.  And you just listen and try to be sympathetic just to survive the night. :unsure:

The last blind date I was on... The woman brought two of her former boyfriends along... Talk about a weird setup... As the (short) evening progressed I had plenty of time to chat with the guys as she insisted on dancing with all of us on a rotational basis... One of the guys was actually pretty cool and we hung out together a couple times later on as we had some shared interests... Never did see her again though.... The mutual friend who set the date up was furious with her... After the weirdness of the situation wore off I just kind of shrugged and played along - thankful that I would never be on a date with her again...

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