July 2015 we got told Noel/ Michaels dad has stage 4 Bowel Cancer.
Last year they said they had got it all over then a spot on his liver, which they shrunk enough to remove.
They told him last month they thought he has 5-8 years of life left.
Sunday 7th May he came out of hospital, but went back in on Tuesday 9th due to an infection he got put in ICU.
Friday 12th May: Michaels mom Paula walks in Michaels room (his door was open) and goes OH you're both in here Noels going downhill fast, drs called a family meeting with her. The Chemo has stopped working, his Liver is beyond repairing the Cancer has taken over.
She then starts with: You 2 need to think about getting married while he's alive unless your going to deny him that pleasure or seeing it.
I said were getting house first.
Then came YOULL NEVER GET A HOUSE ON ONE INCOME YOU CANT GET A JOB YOULL NEVER GET MARRIED IN THAT CASE. YOURE BETTER OFF LIVING HERE ITLL BE CHEAPER THEN RENT AT $250/300 WEEK. YOULL NEVER BUY A HOUSE YOU CANT GET A JOB. She said this twice while adding in (because I said no and we're getting house first) YOU'LL NEVER GET MARRIED THEN, YOU CAN'T GET A JOB.
I told Michael I'm going for walk so went to the playground 5:40pm at night and rang a friend, rang oldest sister, rang dad.
Sat at the playground until it was too dark and cold to stay out walked back to Michaels.
I said to Michael later basically as much as I want to marry you, I'm not rushing it cause then it could end (due to dealing with her and a child's sized bedroom) badly. Also said his room is too small and with a house we'd basically be able to be in different rooms when annoyed at each other.
Worse comes to worse YES we can get house on one income (he tried saying she means its hard. That's not what the money hungry itch said thou besides her house was brought with Noels income and her government benefit as she was classed as job seeker at the time) or we would live here (at dads) for little while. We wouldn't be happy living with her because of her BPD mood swings (as in if she got nasty and tried throwing him out, she threatened to once before when things didn't go her way).
My focus is being there for Michael since he needs support, holding myself together while also facing the fact that his dad is not going to see us get married or ever visit when we do get a house. Also dealing with her.
Saturday 19 Paula tried a verbal attack on me while Michael was asleep but didn't get anywhere.
Then tried saying her mom rang her and tried blaming Noel for his cancer. Michaels grandma is NOT that type so I think Paula said it in hopes Michael and I will turn on his grandparents. Michael was told what his mom claims and also doubts his grandma said it.
update 22 May: Went to take in a coffee for him, he wasn't there. Paula has ability to use his cell phone, his Facebook, her own cellphone and house phone to contact us since Noel couldn't due to sedation still. I wasn't told nor was Michael their own son!
Noel's gone home for a little while, he's going into palliative care very soon.
When it was just Michael, Noel and I in the room (also when just Noel and I) not once did he say anything about hanging on til he says Michael and I marry or that it's his dying wish.
He did however say to me when I was there yesterday, that Paula needs to pull her behaviour in line once he passes. Also suggested a home loan and real estate they went through to get their house.
So the wedding talk and we should live with her has been confirmed to be her doing not his. Which is what I thought.
I ended up up leaving the room when she was there because she started verbally attacking me. I didn't want that stress on Michael or Noel.
Michael followed a couple minutes later and told me what Noel said, which is written below.
Noel told her he's sick of her trying to interfere in Casey (me) and Michaels relationship and causing problems by attaching us so much.
I suspect Noel can see that by her attacking she's pushing not only me away but also her son. She's single hand ably ruining the only family relationship she will have left.
I'm doing my best to support Michael while also trying to cope with it all. I'm thankful I have a loving supportive family who consider Michael family.