I have lost people very close to my heart throughout the years but they all seem to have paled to the grieving I am still experiencing from the death of one of my best friends almost 6 months ago. I am not sure why, but her death seems to have hit me harder than my own father's death and a friend that I thought of as a mother.
She and I were close in age, I was 1 1/2 years older. We saw each other at work almost every day and hung out when we could on our days off. I walked into her office every morning and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She had divorced 3 years before and remarried within 6 months so a lot of times we discussed her relationship with her new husband and how they were adjusting to each other.
It still hurts to see pictures of her, and I cannot bear to take her number out of my contacts yet. I still have our last texts we sent to each other the night she died. I seem to be doing well and then someone or something reminds me of her and I find myself grieving anew. I often wonder if her death has hit me harder because of being close in age and the death being very sudden.
I know that everyone grieves differently but I feel like I'm still going in waves of grief and I'm not quite sure why. I did not post this to get sympathy, I simply needed to talk about it. But if anyone has insight I would be willing to listen.