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  1. Prejudices and bigotry
    (Jonah in the belly of the whale)

    I tend to make a distinction between prejudices and bigotry.  I do believe that most people have prejudices, per-judgments that will come to the surface when under stress.  They are irrational and something that is often passed on from one generation to the next.  Or because of our primitive tribal nature we will paint all people of one group the same because of an experience with a member of that particular tribe.  For instances a woman once told me that she did not like Catholics because when she was young a Catholic was mean to her!  I do believe because she did not understand how irrational her stance was and that she believed that ‘all’ Catholics were the same…. mean and unlikable, she was in fact a bigot.  If she understood its true nature, but struggled with it, then she was prejudice and when it came up she would be able to deal with it.

    Religious bigotry is probably one of the greatest evils in the world today, and perhaps always has been.  We see it coming to full maturity in ISIS as well as in the past when Catholics and Protestants would kill each other all in the name of God.  We burned some, tortured them, all in the Lord’s name.  I am not pointing fingers at the past, since I know that I have some deep areas in my unconscious that could erupt into something like the above if I let it grow without the grace of God.  Self knowledge is not always pleasant, but it can free a person from being controlled by irrational fears that are capable of great evil.  

    The problem with bigotry and prejudices is that is a projection and transference, not based on reality.  For instance I could have four men pull in front of me in traffic and even though I may get angry at them on a bad day, I would still not rant about men drivers, since I am male.  If it is a woman, well, you know……they should not be able to drive.  You can see how silly it can be as well as harmful.  So go deeper into race and religion and you can have a powder keg.  

    One way to find out the evils of bigotry is to experience it first hand.  If that can be done without becoming angry or bitter, much can be learned.  For anger and bitterness only make the victim like the victimizer.  So hatred against another race or religion is passed on from one generation to the next. In the end, the Sermon on the Mount is perhaps the most rational way to go, but without the grace and love of God, we are swallowed up like Jonah was in the belly of the whale.  Jonah got out; he repented, while if we stay in our hatred we could be trapped forever in a tight, narrow and soul destructive world, taken for reality.--Br.MD


  2. He started to read some chapters and he underlined that the messages of Medjugorje are in close relationship with those of Fatima. “Look, Medjugorje is a continuation, an extension of Fatima. Our Lady is appearing in communist countries primarily because of problems that originate in Russia”, said the Pope, who already took this as a mission of his pontificate. This is why I immediately understood the connection.


  3. Debs

    Listened to a news report where is took 36 deaths of psych patients before the investigations started. It took so many lives to end before it was decided to try and find the reason.

    Do their lives mean less than one that exists outside the psych ward? Should all live not weigh equal? Why does it take 36 before we investigate.... 

    How many people lost a mom, dad, brother or sister?  How many people mourning and how many more will have to because of a lack of action?

    Our lives seem futile.  Should one not take better care of the frail ones in society since caring for themselves aren't an option?Does our ability to care for those who cannot care for themselves not determine our character? 

    Where are we heading towards if we neglect those who need our care?

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      So this all happened when I was five.  I woke up from a bad dream and this unnaturally glowing silver cat with big blue eyes was in my room.  At the time we didn't own any cats, so I was mesmerized by this, yet still frightened because of my dream.  It just padded over to me, and lay down next to me.  As soon as it did so I felt completely calm and fell asleep, when I woke up it was gone.

      Ever since I have been seeing ghost dogs and cats.  One of which is my dead cat (who just so happened to be my mom's cat in high school.  She died at age 27).  She died six years ago and I still see her ghost to this day walking around the back yard sometimes.  Other times I will see one singular white cat with green eyes, who often likes to troll me.  So I'll be sitting around doing my own thing when all of a sudden I see it staring at me and I stare back, then it will just poof away.  Another thing I saw once is a large shaggy dog.  It just padded down the street and vanished into thin air.

       Not entirely sure why I see them, but they haven't really caused any trouble so far.  The only one that I get annoyed at is the white one which I have named Myst.  Sorry for the short entry, just thought this may be a nice thing to post for my first blog entry. 

  4. preacherman76
    Latest Entry

     I had thought about writing this blog for a long time. I just couldn't over come the feeling that it was taking things to far though. To expose myself in such a way is very uncomfortable for me. Not only to strangers, but even to a couple family members that read this blog, none of whom had any idea. With the recent unfounded, outright ridiculous ban on the herbal supplement Kratom, I felt I could no longer hide what was a very dark part of my life. How I was saved by this amazing little leaf. Even though this blog will have little to no effect on the situation, the least I can do at this point is tell my story. To give my testimony. Maybe if there is enough of us.........

    Did I ever tell you guys about the first time I took a Vicodin? Of course not. That's been my dirty little secret for the past 10 years. And even though I've been drug free for the last 2 years and counting, every time I considered speaking to others about it, how my experiences may actually help others, the burden of exposure just seemed to bring me to a place where I was unwilling. I have always been the one others have come to for help. Be it spiritual advice, or with help moving, or whatever. I've always been the guy willing to help others. Never the guy looking to burden others with my problems. I guess that's why it went on as long as it did, cause I refused to burden others with my addiction. That combined with a big dose of shame. Anyhow here we go.

     First let me say that even as a young man, who was willing to experiment with certain drugs, I instinctually knew to never take it to far. Id always run away long before any substance could trap me. I also knew there were certain drugs that people should never EVER do. Like Heroin for instance. So I was taken completely by surprise the day I realized I was addicted to pain pills. Thinking back, if I had done any research, or even understood anything about them at all, I would have ran to the hills long before I fell in its trap. Truth is I never thought it would be a problem. I mean after all these are prescribed by doctors. They certainly would never give me anything that would harm me, right?

    It even took a couple years for the outright abuse to begin. For a long time Id take them as prescribed. There was no reason to go further then that. They not only knocked my pain outta the park, they also made me feel like superman. Any big project at work, or at home, Id just pop a couple pills and off I went. It made even the most undesirable tasks a pleasant thing to do.  I cant remember exactly how long it took, but after some time I began to notice the script wasn't lasting the whole month. I ended up being completely out with a whole week or more to go before I could get another script filled. It must have already had me in its control by then, cause I didn't even see that as a problem. I didn't even have any side effects during that week at first. No with draw symptoms at all at first.

    That's when the depression set in. It took me about three months to connect the dots. A day after the script ran out, for about 3 days Id go through this massive depression. And here is the amazing part about that. Once I figured out why I was getting this horrible depression every month, I still didn't even think to stop. I just ignored the depression, cause I knew I wasn't really depressed. I was just down cause I was outta pills.

    So it wasn't long after that that I would buy other peoples pills to get me through that time. And this went on for years. Looking back I cant believe how foolish I had become. That I couldn't see the ever intricate web this substance was spinning to trap me deeper and deeper every time I took a pill.

    Well finally one day my doctor says to me that it was time to come off them. And that he was gonna start weaning me down over the next few months. I agreed and pretended that was a good idea, not wanting him to see the absolute panic I was feeling inside at the thought of it.  And that's what he did. Every month he'd drop the number of pills by 10. Forcing me every month to spend more and more money on the black market. Till one day I was completely reliant on drug dealers to supply my addiction. It was about that time when I finally had to face the full reality that I was a junky. Which was both a horrible, and wonderful realization. Now that I fully understood my problem I could finally do something about it. But what????

    No way was I going to expose this to people who were important to me. To my church, to my family. No way could I disappear to a rehab for a month. I have people depending on me. Mouths to feed.

    By now doctors had begun to crack down on everyone, so the supply wasn't as easy to get as it was in the beginning. Or sometimes Id just run outta money. I can only thank God I still had enough sense to understand that things like bills and even food had to come first. But I found myself often going through a full blown withdraw. I cant even begin to express to you how horrible that is. Every part of my being wanted to just stop. But every time by about the third day of feeling about as bad as I could, Id give in just to get relief. It didn't even get me high anymore, just made me feel normal again, for that day.

    I even started to wonder just how long I could continue living. If it wasn't for my children I don't even know that Id be alive today.

    Now finally to the main point of this blog. One Sunday, spending another day on the couch while my family went on about their day without me. I finally had enough. I went to the computer to try and find anything that could help me through the withdraw enough to see me through to the other side of it, to freedom. That's when I learned about Kratom. I didn't have enough money to buy any pills that day, but I did have enough to buy a bag of this. Couple days later it came in the mail.

    Now it still took a lot of determination, and still even feeling like total crap. I still had to fall and get back up a few times as well. But at least I could sleep at night without feeling like I wanted to jump outta my skin. Or climb the walls.Through the hardest parts of the withdraw. It got me through long enough to begin to feel better. , and for the first time in years feel like a human again.

    Ive been drug free for a couple years now, and have felt great for all that time. I have kratom to thank for that. Please, what ever petition you come across to stop these criminal drug companies from banning this life saving supplement, take a minute and sign it

    Thanks for reading folks, God bless

  5. simplybill
    Latest Entry
    I woke up at 3:00 AM full of energy. I have no idea why. Maybe because I recently switched from fake honey to raw honey.
    I discovered I had left the back door leading into the basement WIDE OPEN after walking outside yesterday afternoon. I didn't find any stray raccoons, but I did have a basement full of singing crickets.
    -----A tip for those of you who also leave your doors WIDE OPEN overnight:
    If you have a cricket in your house and it is fraying your nerves with its nails-on-a-chalkboard chirping, aim a floor fan in the direction of the chirping. The chirping will stop in just a few seconds. I have no idea why. Maybe they think it's a tornado. 
    So what have I been doing since 3:00 AM? I folded laundry, packed my bags for my next trip, put some chicken thighs in the crockpot, washed dishes, bid for my October work schedule, transferred all of my passwords to the 'contacts' section of an old cellphone so I don't have multiple random slips of paper in my desk drawer, and fed the birds. All of this before 7:00 AM.
    If I had this much energy every day, I would soon be as rich as Donald Trump.
  6. I thought I'd put another one of these short Z&Z Adventures here again, since nobody views them on Youtube (I can't imagine why not). Well, almost nobody views there here, either. But anyway... Zarkor and Zerak are in their den in their Lightship having a little conversation, Zarkor reminiscing about past events...


  7. So Haloween is my absolute favorite of all time holiday. It's not just the candy, horror films, or scantily clad revilers (above the legal age of course). It seems that ithis is the time of year when when even the weirdness is weirder than usual.

    During the summer months, high weirdness gets blamed on the heat, in the autumn it is blamed on the thinning of the veil or the ever increasing darkness as we march to wimter.  Lets just keep things weird, that's all.  So here are a few Haloween movie recommendations in no particular order.


    dog soldiers

    bad moon

    the birds



    any classic universal monster movie (wolfman, dracula, frakenstein etc)

    dracula untold

    and a few good tv series would include

    American horror story (any season)

    penny dreadful


    sleepy hollow


    I am sure I have missed someones favorite, it happens. Of course for those with children, some of these suggestions would be inappropriate. But that's up to the discretion of the parenting unit.

  8. tcgram
    Latest Entry

    A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

    For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

    But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

    “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”

    “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

    “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

    The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

    Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

    The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”


    Do not underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It’s our differences that make us unique & beautiful. :)

  9. TheLight

    Google Sky Maps - Hidden North Star

    Why is the Polaris or "North star" hidden in Google Sky Maps? Who is behind this cover up - what are the connections? We look at some time-lapse footage and some astonishing information was revealed by shining the light on the darkness of this world.




    Jas 1:17  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 


    DISCLAIMER: You may never look at the world the same ever again.

  10. It's Dire...

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    I wrote this in 2011, 4 years before my cat and familiar, Toulouse, was born.

    There is no real story behind the poem itself, as it was something I had decided to write one fall night, and thought it was just "magic in the air".

    My cat, on the other hand, is quite another story...

    He was one of three kittens born of a feral mother I had hand tamed over a course of months. By the time she had her kittens, she was comfortable enough to come and go from my house as she pleased (so long as the door or window was open). When her kittens were finally old enough to walk, she began bringing them to my back porch. As I was walking down the hallway one morning, two of the kittens had run, but one of them, the solid black one, just sat there, petrified, and looked up at me. His little blue eyes were so deep and intelligent, before I had even bent down to pet him, I could already feel the bond starting to form, and I fought it hard. I didn't want this kitten, I had already made up my mind to keep one of the others. But as I patted him, I could feel his tiny body shaking, and I wondered why he choose to sit and let me pat him when he could have run like the others. I considered that he was paralyzed with fear, but as I looked at him, I felt as if it were something more, maybe a test.

    Days after that, I had caught all three kittens and had put them in my bedroom while my husband and I moved our things out of the house (we were renting). I tried to interact with them a bit, but since they were still so young I was met with unfriendly spitting and swatting. The black kitten was the only one who did not spit or swat, he instead was very still and even purred when I pet him. The others, when I finally did touch them, tensed up and growled. When it was time to take the one I was keeping and let the others go with their mom, I kept the black one. I fed him boar bacon. He sat in my lap on the ride to the new home.

    He has kept me from suicide.

    He has been my best friend.

    My brother.

    My familiar.

    My rock when the anxiety gets bad.

    He has done for me than most any human could ever hope to claim.



    Black Cat Chivalry




    There's magic in the air tonight.

    I can sense the change in the breeze.

    Can you feel it too?

    Tell me you can feel it too.

    Tell me you can sense the magic in the air tonight.


    A haunting melody and a melancholic chant is all it takes.

    That's all it takes to bring tonight to life.


    Can you hear them calling?

    Can you feel the magic calling out to you?

    I feel like an addict.

    I'm addicted to this Black Cat Chivalry.


    Black cat.

    Magic cat.

    Look at what you've done.

    I'm addicted to you.


    There's magic in the air tonight.

    I can sense the change in the breeze.

    Can you feel it too?

    Tell me you can feel it too.

    Tell me you're the magic in the air tonight.




  11. The Psychologist I was seeing (Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Clinical Depression, OCD and Social Phobias) left and so I was given a new one I'll call her Ann (not her real name), unfortunately she is not the right fit for me. She's told me to do techniques in dealing with difficult people I've done and go no where with and would not listen when I told her I've done that and nothing changes. Ann's answer was just keep trying it, people don't change but you need to change yourself. "I've been in this job for a very long time, so trust me people don't change". She repeated a few times. I disagree that people don't change because I myself have changed in many ways. She has booked me a few sessions with the intern Psychologist, who I saw today and he was very helpful. Ann was of no help and I walked out of the session feeling worse, also having bad Anxiety daily (from Friday last week until today aka Thursday) which is odd. Normally I come out after a session feeling hopeful and ready to try new things. Today I spoke to the intern I'll call him Tom (again not real name), Tom gave me some good advice and I walked out feeling a lot better. He's asked I keep a diary about dreams since I've been having some odd dreams and nightmares but unknown triggers. Tom it seems also is not a fan of Ann's and said she is very straight to the point, I also was trying to word it so it came across as she's not right for me but for some she would be.  Ann told me do not validate the difficult persons feelings where as Tom has said validate, also when the person is lashing out block them out as much as you can like you would a tv in the background. Hopefully this helps and I get everything under control again.

  12. Child of Bast
    Latest Entry

    It seems that the media might be misleading people about what is going on down here in Southern Louisiana.

    New Orleans is not flooded in any part. The flooded areas begin about 30-45 minutes north of the city. On the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain, there's a lot of flooding, despite the higher ground than New Orleans and areas south of here (previously devastated by Katrina), but there are also many rivers and those have been topped causing the massive flooding. Further north toward Baton Rouge is where the bulk of the rain sat for days. Way over to the west two hours toward Houston, the City of Lafayette received 9 inches of rain.

    New Orleans was forecasted for rain as much as Baton Rouge and the surrounding areas, but we didn't get hardly any. It rained here all of Thursday and half of Friday and that's all. It was just heavily overcast the rest of the weekend. The sun broke through late Saturday afternoon and then Sunday , I wasn't sure if it was going to pour or be sunny.

    My cousin lives in a town called Prairieville and as of today where I last read a report from the LA State Troopers, if you were to take I-10 toward Baton Rouge, you'd be forced off at the exit for Prairieville, unable to go farther. My cousin's house backs onto a man-made lake, which got a lot bigger, but thankfully did not flood her house.

  13. A few weeks ago I shared the first day of my new job as director of the RCIA in our parish.  RCIA stands for the Rite of Christian Iniation of Adults.  It is the process though which people pass in order to be received into the Cathollic Church.  It is a wonderful concept.  I went through it myself over 4o years ago and although it was nothing like the process of today it was a wonderful enlightening period of my life.  I will never forget the dear priest who invited 5 or 6 of us "inquirers" into his dining room each week to learn about this wonderful faith community that has been growing for almost 2,000 years.

    For a decade we had a fantastic Sr. of Charity as director or our RCIA program but she was 92 and decided it was time to turn in her car and her license and go home to the Motherhouse in Cincinnatti.  Oh it was a sad time for all of us when Sister left us but she left us with a wealth of wisdom and we have been building on that for two years.  Now I am creating a program based on the Sunday scripture readings along with foundatons presented in the Catechism of our Church.  Here's where the miracle come in... I know that I am not the aurthor of this process.  I am just not that smart.  I just pray a lot and word come out of my fingers unto the keyboard.

    I took this on knowing that I had to have surgery on my left hip.  I can't walk without a cane or a walker.  I had made an appointment with the surgeon who had done my right hip and double knee replacements. It took over 2 months to get the appointment and 2 weeks before the appointment I was informed that my appointment was cancelled because our insurance carrier had dropped them.  Now I had to find a new surgeon and in Florida that means another 2 month wait.  What to do?? Well I started praying.  

    After the second day at my "new job" I came home and picked up the phone and called the best and busiest surgeon in our area and miracle of miracles he gave me an appointment the very next week.  This Tuesday I met with Dr. Z and after looking at my x-rays he told me it was really bad... I wanted to say "you think?"  What I did say is how soon can we do this because I have a wedding in DC in September.  He said "you are really pushing me" but, God bless him, he scheduled me for next week!  

    "O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his merccy endures for ever! Out of my distress I called on the Lord; and the Lord answered me and set me free."Psalm 118




  14. Well after my last blog post, and despairing completely and the rhetoric of some here, I stayed away because it was honestly getting to me.

    So I left, went away for Star Wars Celebration and only came back (signed off) to see if some measure of sanity had returned.

    Alas, it's not. If anything it seems to be getting worse. Between people thinking it's the end time, practically wanting a civil war or wanting swathes of the population unable to vote... it's honestly become crazier. And yeah, I'm thinking of doing what I thought about before, leaving indefinitely, because I just can't take it. I can't take seeing how little these people care about human life or other people's rights. I can't take how much they'd rather hate, or how much they love their guns, or how much they want the end of the world, how much they long for other people to just be slaughtered in droves.

    So yeah, I'm out. I'm done. You can all stay and get more and more insane. Worship death. Worship guns. Go on killing sprees the second wthings don't go your way. But I won't be here to see it.

    I hope someone can restore some mesure of sanity here someday, but I just can't see it, not when members left and right seem to be baying for blood.

  15. So summer is over and now me and some of the pack members are back in school. I'll say it was an eventful summer, but not all of it in a good way. Though it was peaceful. A calm peace before the storm of being a senior. Everything was ok besides the extreme heat. Pokèmon Go came out and it has been us just playing the game and even some of us playing the older games that we own. Current preparing for my 18 birthday. Talked to friends, and some pack mates about coming to what I have planned. Because I've always been a nerd and enjoy the weird things. I am going to be trying to host a huge nerf war and just all of us have fun. 

    On another note in a post on my profile page that I did. I came out as trans and asexual to those on Instagram, Twitter, and here as they are the only places I cane come out on. This has been a struggle that I've been fighting around with for a while now. But as my the rain side, this too, will be kept from my family till years later when I am out of my house and working on my own. 


    Beside des this the pack is doing well and growing. After kicking one member and bringing in two new ones it's good to see everyone talking and being happy together as a family. Without our little family it would be kinda lonesome. Everything we do to help each other and be there for each other, it seems more like we are a family who should have all been born in the same blood family, but isn't. 

    Well guys I don't have to much more to say at this time. Just thought I give you guys an update. To keep up with me outside of this place just follow me on Twitter or Instagram as I post a bit more on there and more often as well. Take care you guys and be safe.

    This is Lunar Wolf signing out. Take care guys.


    ~Lunar Wolf~


  16. AustinHinton
    Latest Entry

    Well, we have a new house now. Or at least the start of a new house. You see we have a modular home (a HUGE one, seriously this building is freakin' huge) that's practically ours if we can move it. And I mean that literally, we have to hook the thing up on some tractors and haul it about four miles or so. The building itself needs some work, but it's mostly superficial stuff, new paint, some retiled floors, that sort of stuff. The toilets (of which there are three) all need replaced and we are going to rip the carpet out and put down wood floors. The house has three bedrooms (mines the biggest, hehe ^_^) two and a half bathrooms (ones really more of a closet than anything) a enclosed mud room/sunroom, two porches and a fireplace. Of course we aren't going to actually move in for a bit, but over the weekend we did get some stuff on it done. 

  17. Experiences of a lifetime

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    It's almost the end of summer break, almost time for my education on art and physics to resume, almost time to go back to that school, that old school that creeps me out to no end, but this entry is not about that school, but my own home, where I should feel safe as I have had it blessed 97 times in my whole life. Honestly i'm thinking of getting an exorcist because it's just insane, so to let you see what has been happening, I tell you the story of last night, well this morning at 2:30 but still.

    my room is upstairs to the right, blue walls that have taken many colours, the entity that has left me with scars that I can not explain, my parents chalked it up to self harm, but it wasn't, I just woke up with those. Honestly my parents think i'm going crazy, they even sent me away from the house once, that got me 2 months of peaceful sleep. But last night, I was terrified for my life.

    the old owners of the house liked to do satanic rituals, leaving my dad and uncle to have gotten the house cheap, my dad later bought out the house and my uncle moved two towns over, in the district that the bus that takes me close to my school goes (E34 in MA to be exact) this is important because I refused to go to my house most of the time so I spent time caring for my grandmother in the afternoons.

    so, on to what happened I woke up at 1:34 to my sister doing this ritual called the "hooded man" I naturally stopped her before it was complete and took the cross with a white candle I had bought (along with some sage I got from a cool store in province town it was a 3/2 sale so I got 9 candles) and then told the entities she had called that they were not welcome and were to leave the house after 30m I was like ok I think that was enough and went back to my room and watched YouTube 

    I then was startled a while later by the room getting cold, I was under my covers in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, I looked over to the corner where I had my papazon chair, to my horror there was an entity there. It kept getting closer every time I looked away, so I ended up on discord, a voice chat for gamers with some of my friends from the uk, they started yelling at me to take my bible and cross and get the hell out of that room. I was attacked on my lower right thigh I will insert a picture of the inflicted damage

    so I go downstairs and my parents wake up and start yelling at me and call me delusional, though this is not the first time it has happened.


  18. Hellofifa

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  19. It has been my observation that nothing I have done in my life came easy or "naturally" to me.

    Even in school I began to notice certain things such as tests, for example; I could study and memorize then when the time for the test came I oft times made the mistake of thinking I could pass the test because it seemed relatively easy. Stupid me, thinking that I was getting the answers right only to get the test back and discover I flunked it big time; it wasn't just once or twice but every single time.

    The lesson I gleaned was that for me, all this nonsense about esteem and confidence was useless; unless I was second and third guessing my action, worrying about missing a step or basically sweating every step then I was doing something wrong.

    So I learned as time went by to second guess myself with everything, whatever I did I had to try, I had to always double-check to make sure I wasn't doing something wrong or missing a step because if, at any time, it seemed to go easy and smoothly then I was definitely messing up big time.

    It is not that I want to mess up nor am I anticipating something going wrong but the lesson has always been that if something seems easy then I am doing something wrong.

    No action or skill ever really "flowed" for me, nothing came easy, readily or "naturally" so after a point I began to wonder what was worth doing if everything is a constant struggle. Even writing this is a struggle as I have to constantly delete and re-write things just to avoid mortally offending people or something.

    Yes, I realize all skills take time and effort to develop and sometimes there are snags; I am not that ignorant or naive to think otherwise but there comes a time when it would be nice to have something come relatively easily, where something flows and seems "natural" thus making it more attractive and appealing to pursue.

  20. Taça de Portugal 2016

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  21. Zylotta

    Latest Entry

    Hello everyone, I was just stopping by to say that I have been revamping my story, taking out parts I didn't like (such as the human bashing, that's been done to death at this point in Sci-Fi stories)  as well as focusing more on a select group of characters rather than a bunch at once. I will be posting chapters here soon, so stay tuned! :D 

  22. As I lay on my couch, waiting for my paycheck to be deposited, I am left to wonder: how did my life get this way? A life where every simple task becomes a very expensive and elongated problem. A life where almost no one is willing to offer their assistance in matters where it is required. It seems like everyone I know has had some form of help from their families and/or friends. Be it, teaching them how to drive or helping them get their first job, whereas I have never received any such help from anyone. The most I got was some dishes and towels and a 'good luck' or two. But it's okay. I made it just fine for about a year until the bedbugs attacked. Now I am back to square one. My future hangs in limbo and I have no idea which way it will go. My bet is the wrong way but that's just me being pessimistic which should come as no surprise to those of you who have read any of my previous blogs.

    Anyway, regardless of where I will be living next month, today I am purchasing a new cell phone because the one I have is a piece of absolute garbage. First of all, it doesn't even belong to me, it's built to be durable but the screen is cracked, since they focused on hardware when building it, the software is crap, Android 4.1 so it can't run Pokémon Go (which I've been waiting for and longing to play since I heard it was being developed), and the contract expires in a couple days with the option to upgrade but I am choosing not to because I don't like contract phones, they are way too overpriced. So I am buying a cheap-ish phone from Amazon as soon as the money hits my bank account. I am hoping and wishing that the phone arrives before Sunday (or even ships at all since the last time I tried this, the phone never shipped).

    I've been a Pokémon fan since I was about 6 years old and I used to pray to God to make Pokémon real and well, this augmented reality smartphone game is probably the closest I'm ever going to get to that prayer being answered. At least until the virtual reality version. So to have it surprisingly released when I was not prepared was not cool. And now I've had to listen to almost all of my coworkers talk about it, I've had to read about it virtually everywhere on the internet and it seems I'm the only person in the country who really wants to play it but can't. Thousands of people who thought Pokémon was childish and stupid a month ago are playing it and loving every minute of it, even if they don't know what a Chansey is. Well I know all 151 Pokémon in the game and all 570+ of the rest of them. To say I'm a bit jealous is an understatement.

    So, I am disregarding bills and even food to buy a phone that is up to par with my standards and I don't give a flying Rattata's ass what anyone thinks about it.

  23. DivineNinja

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    I just joined Unexplained-Mysteries and am feeling pretty good. The reason why I came to this forum is that I just wanted to discuss certain issues that are hindering my usual life aspects. These issues primarily pertain to peculiar subjects like paranormal and psychics. Since 2010 I have been experiencing telepathic attacks that continue till date. I was at the beginning of my career and was all ready to run the marathon of my life. At first I was mentally distracted by loud real time voices that eventually tried cutting me off my surroundings and made me talk and murmur to myself. I live in a city that locates country's biggest mental hospital which I also frequently visited due to one of my relatives. So, I knew a few things about mental problems and a lot about Schizophrenia. My sleep patterns were disrupted, I woke up in the middle of the nights as if someone shook my body to wake me up, slowly I also realized that I have stopped dreaming and someone kept talking to me like trying to instruct me.

    I never discussed this with my family or friends as everybody was and is so busy in their own life and above all I simply hated to be called a MENTAL. For the same when I visited my psychologist I simply complained him about my disrupted sleep patterns only. He prescribed me pills which he told were not the sleeping pills upon my concerns but they actually did put me to deadly sleeps. I hate those pills and try taking them only once in a month. But whether I liked it or not those pills did good bringing me back to normal. By normal here I mean that I was able to think and work normally again but the telepathic attacks never actually stopped. I also tried continuing the pills for a week but it did not worked..

    I often became speechless and used to ignore talking to people. However, since the childhood and teen days of my life I have been a guy who loved and lived with comics and movies and believe me this habit of mine did helped me a lot. The best thing I did during telepathic attacks is that I never responded to it, mentally. I knew it very well that once I get engaged with it I would literally develop a habit of mentally talking to the attacker. I don't know how I realized this but I really did exactly that. Currently I frequently hear telepathic comments that depict me as dirty, foolish and useless. But after spending 6 years under such attacks I have learned to ignore it.

    But ignorance alone never really ended this as I could feel myself being touched, pinched and pierced. My individuality got totally ruined and despite me feeling miserable at times I somehow manage to follow my daily schedules.

    As for relief and treatment information I switched to the internet. I must admit it here that for 5 odd years I really wasted my time searching info relating to white and black magic. The only useful info I tracked was that such attacks are linked with voodoo doll magic where the doll is baptized in the name of victim. It was only this year in 2016 that I somehow changed my search keywords and landed on subjects like telepathy and psychic attacks. This way I came to know about a stone called Black Tourmaline which is said to absorb negative energies. I quickly ordered it online and am currently testing it. So far it had successfully helped in removing my headaches and I can now actually sleep peacefully. I tend keeping these stones in my right or left hand as I lie down on my bed and as I fall asleep I drop them beside my pillow.  But what I still worry about is that black tourmaline does not completely stop it. I still feel it and feel really bad about it. Also, I never see proper dreams.

    At first I tried running away from home, asked myself what, why and how of this could happen to me. Believe me I also once said to myself that I am the one selected for destruction. But I hold a few habits that somehow make me step out of the misery. I am a hardcore bodybuilder; I do a lot of exercise and without supplements.  I am also a hardcore gamer who likes playing all new age and classic titles. I am also crazy about movies and prefer watching at least one flick daily. So what eventually I started to believe is that I am one of GOD's soldier and if that was not so why would such an evil thing may happen to me or I may have been doing the same evil to other people.

    Currently I am continuing my search for finding a complete solution for shielding myself from such attacks. I do not intend living and ending my life with the same problem. Black Tourmaline stones provide relief but never actually stops it. Also, this stone would work miracles for normal people who wish bringing peace to their life and enhance their focus and performance. I have spend a lot of time on the internet but just like the ocean I know that I have searched or viewed only a small fraction of it. I have provided my story so that anyone else experiencing the same may get a positive reference and if someone reading this knows how to stop or end telepathy or psychic attacks may please revert to this post.

    Wishing everybody cheers and good luck.

  24. Stories

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    Latest Entry




    This world is dark. It’s cold. Empty. I am alone. There is no one else left. They have all gone away… to another place… another world. They have abandoned me. I walk in this lonely place with no destination because there is nothing to walk towards. But, I continue on my futile journey, anyway. There is nothing else to do. I am naked and afraid. I have no possessions, no food or water. Yet, still I live. It is a desolate and miserable existence, but it is still life. I cling to it like moss to a tree, because it is all I have. This life and this barren land is all I know. If I had a life before this, I can’t remember it. I am nameless. I am no one. And yet, I am everyone, because there is nobody else. There aren’t even any animals or plants. In this world, there is only the rusty ground, and me. Sometimes, I look up at the sky. It is always crimson. There is a sun, a bright orange circle piercing through the scarlet clouds. The sun never sets and it never moves. It’s as if this place is frozen in time.

                I continue to walk, my bare feet kicking up the red dust with each step. I don’t know why I walk. All I know is that I have to. If I don’t move, I will lose what’s left of my existence. I know I will never reach my chimerical destination but still, I walk. Some part of me hopes that I’m wrong; that there is something else in this world. So, I keep walking.

                I wasn’t always alone. There were others with me not long ago. A man, a woman, a boy and a girl. They were like me. We were all wandering this place alone. I found the man first. We didn’t talk much, because there was nothing much to talk about. We talked about the ground, the sky, and the emptiness and then we were silent. Then we found the woman and the boy. The woman claimed the boy was her son. The boy claimed the woman was his mother. Neither knew for sure because none of us knew anything, except that we were here. Then we found the girl. She was lying on her side, curled up in the fetal position, sleeping near a rock. She looked afraid and cold, so we woke her up and she agreed to join us.

                So, there we were. The only five people in the world: A young man with thick hair, a thick beard and a thick head; a cautious and terrified woman; a silent yet playful boy; an innocent and timid girl; and me. We walked and talked, and then we slept. Sleeping was the only way to escape; for a short time the red was replaced with black. We did not dream, but still we slept. Then, everyone disappeared, and I was alone.

                It must have happened while we were sleeping because all I remember is waking up and being alone. I don’t know what could have happened to the others. They could have been taken to another world, another universe, or simply transported a few miles away. I suppose, another reason I walk, is for them. It has been quite a while, I think, since we were separated, but I still have hope that one day we will meet again. I will continue to walk this barren wasteland, I will continue my journey, and I will kick up tons and tons of rust-colored dust until I find something…or someone. I will not stop because I can’t. There is nothing else to do.