Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

Blogs

Our community blogs

  1. The endless mystery of God’s love

     

    O Incomprehensible God, how great is Your mercy! 
    It surpasses the combined understanding of all men and angels.
     All the angels (107) and all humans have emerged
    from the very depths of Your tender mercy. 
    Mercy is the flower of love.  God is love,
    and mercy is His deed.  In love it is conceived;
     in mercy, it is revealed.  Everything I look at speaks to me
    of God’s mercy.   Even God’s very justice speaks to me
    about His fathomless mercy, because justice flows from love.—
    Divine Mercy Diary 651

     

    I believe that mystery is something that is a deep need for mankind.  For me, a mystery is not something that is unknowable, but a reality that can be understood at ever deeper levels without exhausting its allure. 

    I do believe that each human being is one such mystery.  The inner life of exploration is unending.  For as we change, grow, towards chaos or transformation, we still only experience a very small portion of whom or what we really are.  What are we really?  Are we actually made in the image and likeness of God?  If we are indeed rooted in God’s reality, then we are most certainly more than what we think we are.  Why else would Jesus tell us the importance of loving all and treating them as if they were Jesus Himself? 

    When I look at a stranger, I have to remind myself of the vast inner world that is standing before me.  A human passing by is a whole universe that is known only by God.  I believe that the only way to bridge that reality is through love.  For to hate, or to ignore, or to feel superior, is only a wall that I build up to protect myself from the vastness of the mystery passing before me perhaps never to be seen again.  These barriers are often unconscious in me, but as I mature the reality of this tendency in me is becoming more apparent. 

    For instance, with my loved ones, or friends, or workmates, or fellow community members, I can also reduce them to a size that I can easily handle, when in reality I am just making them into furniture that I can be comfortable with.  When I stop seeing those around me as like me, but also as other, it is a kind of death sentence for them.   They become mere props for the stage that is my life…a truncated life, one that can be experienced as empty and futile and isolating.  A foretaste of the eternal isolation of hell, where there is only one stage and I am the center of it, the god of my own world.

    I can also make God into something understood, a piece of comfortable furniture in my inner life.  Even if my understanding is a fearful one, a terrifying one, it is still something I can handle, understand and even manipulate through certain rituals or prayers etc.  What is feared cannot be loved nor trusted, but only placated.

    Yet when the reality of God’s love is experienced or conveyed through the mystics I can come face to face with my inability to actually understand, but which can be experienced.

    I tend to make justice and mercy opposites.  That is because I know there is no real justice system in this world.  Many accused have been imprisoned and even executed who were, in fact, innocent of the crimes they were tried for.   We do the best we can, but to see into the heart of the matter, which is to see into the heart of the life being examined, is impossible for me or any other human being to accomplish I believe.  Yet not for God, who sees and understands all, is a different matter altogether and because of that reality, mercy, and justice are the same.  How that works out I am not sure, yet I do experience it every day and when I look back on my life, I am amazed at the mercy and compassion of God, who is infinitely compassionate and merciful.

    Yet I still judge, put people in categories often negative ones.  As the years have passed, I am pained by that reality, yet when I pray I continually ask the Lord to touch my heart at ever deeper levels so that I may truly see and not be controlled by prejudices that are passed down from generation to generation, or learned by the brainwashing of our entertainment and news industry. –Br.MD


     

  2. Here's another Paranormal Ghost Story Time! 

    - 2001 - Paranormal Ghost Story Time -  Pushed In A Bar

    Thank you all for watching! x

     

     

  3. simplybill
    Latest Entry

     

    I came home from work a few days ago to find my beautiful ash tree broken in half by a windstorm. I'm going to miss that tree. I actually have a lot of good memories tied in with it. I cut up the broken half with my chainsaw, and now the power company will finish up so the power lines don't get damaged.

    The branches that I cut are strewn across the yard alongside my gravel driveway. I've been surprised by how this has changed the behavior of the birds and animals that I feed. Every morning I spread sunflower seeds and corn on the driveway, then I sit in my rocking chair and drink coffee while watching the critters eat breakfast. Apparently the branches make them feel protected, because there are twice the number of birds than I normally see. I've seen as many as three red-headed woodpeckers, five blue jays, four goldfinches, doves, red-winged blackbirds, sparrows, meadowlarks, squirrels, ground squirrels, and rabbits. It's like watching a parade.

    We've had a lot of rain here. The mineral block that I put out for the deer has completely melted away. I'll have to put a 'cap' on the new one somehow. The deer actually lick the ground around the block instead of the block itself, and the hole they've dug is about a foot deep and full of rainwater. 

    I went outdoors late last night and I heard an animal noise that I've never heard before. It was a single high-pitched shriek, about once every ten seconds. It may have been a fox. During mating season they sound like a crying baby. When I first moved here, (a city boy new to the country) I went outside late one night with a flashlight looking for the baby in my neighbor's cow pasture. 

     

  4. mpardi blog

    • 1
      entry
    • 0
      comments
    • 39
      views

    Recent Entries

    Marco M. Pardi
    Latest Entry

     

    In Plain Sight                                                                                                                  

    by Marco M. Pardi 

    "The art of secrecy lies in being so open about most things that the few things that matter are not even suspected to exist." B. H. Liddell Hart (1895 - 1970) Strategy. 1954.

     "When you want to hide the needle, add more hay." Classic Intelligence Community adage.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    All comments welcome.  To those readers who have been hesitant to comment or ask questions, please be assured you may do so freely. In recent days several new people have signed on as followers, enabling them to comment freely, and it is hoped they will.  Reader participation keeps this site vibrant. MMP

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    In these past few months I have noted what appears to be an increased tendency among people to keep their thoughts to themselves.  This is not surprising, given the presence of a demented man-child in the White House and a virtual take-over of government by the cabal which supports him.  As we've learned in the past few days, even being a spokesperson for this administration puts one's credibility at risk of irreparable damage from the almost Tourette's like tweets and pronouncements coming from the titular president.

    Official secrecy has long been a tool of governments, accepted even in the same breath as transparency.  However, most concerns are raised not over secrecy itself, but about what is being kept secret.  And, as the opening quote implies,  some subjects are and remain secret simply because they have effectively been made a non-issue.  The recent Trump order to the Environmental Protection Agency to remove all mention of Climate Change from their website, Trump's "looking into ways to change the libel laws so as to sue journalists/media" for publishing unflattering statements about him, Trump's abrupt firing of the FBI Director heading an investigation into the election, and the Trump administration's move to place access to the internet in the hands of a select few reminded me of a twenty six page article in the August 2008 edition of the journal Political Theory.  Dr. Alexander Wendt, then an award winning author and professor of political science at Ohio State University and Dr. Raymond Duvall, then professor and chair of the Department of Political Science at the University of Minnesota wrote, "Sovereignty and the UFO" (the term UFO, carrying non-rational baggage, has since been replaced by UAP -Unidentified Aerial Phenomena). Surprisingly, not a single political scientist, or other reader, subsequently responded to the article in the journal Political Theory.    

    No, I'm not writing about UFOs or UAPs.  For the record I, along with the governments of Argentina, Chile, Peru, Brazil, the U.K., France, Belgium, Sweden and Russia have accepted the mountains of physical, electronic, photographic, radiologic, botanical and testimonial evidence of their existence from multiple unimpeachable witnesses but I stand fast on the Unidentified appellation since there are several equally plausible hypotheses regarding their origin and nature.  What I am doing in referencing this article is drawing a parallel with the very successful burial (only in the United States) of any discussion of UAPs in heaps of illogical but effective criticism with the equally successful burial (again, only in the U.S.) of any serious discussion of the nature of a major American political party and its true agenda. (UFO/UAP Note: In January 2017, under direction from then-President Obama, the CIA de-classified roughly 1 million UFO/UAP documents and made them available on their website).  Did you notice?  Adding more straw.

    Wendt and Duvall's article was not intended to prove or even support either side of any UFO/UAP debate; it was intended to elucidate how an authoritarian State can render a subject invisible despite the mountains of evidence for its presence. The article did so in truly remarkable fashion. 

    Essentially, the paper lists a series of tactics used to discredit UAP advocates and even serious and credentialed scientists by: Portraying the subject as fringe, New Age, and incoherent while casting a shadow over the career futures of anyone should they speak approvingly of it publically; inventing "straw man" arguments based on only one of a series of plausible hypotheses and then attacking the stated hypothesis with information not scientifically valid ("space distances make travel impossible, so it has not and cannot occur" - this has long been shown to be false); and, appealing to an anthropocentric belief that humans, as children of God, enjoy primacy in Nature, including the universe.  Discovery of another life form, so advanced as to master the technology displayed through UAPs, would not be acceptable to people who, having no competence in science, must fall back on religious dogma.  This is appealing even to those who do not see themselves as particularly religious, but also have little to no understanding of science.

    But more importantly,  Wendt and Duvall's article shows us that the worst way to keep something the public already knows about secret is to call it secret. This only spawns distrust and conspiracy theories - "they know and aren't telling us."  The far better way, as demonstrated by the official U.S. position on UAPs, is to declare them invalid and not worthy of attention from competent people. The parallel, for me, is the treatment of the F word - Fascism.

    I've written elsewhere of my understanding of Fascism and will not repeat myself here.  The internet is now alight with entries such as, The Defining Criteria of Fascism and similarly informative pieces. One might think this blossoming of information is new.  It's not. Every Republican administration since Richard Nixon has been held against this list of criteria and found, in various degree, to be a match.  But institutional checks and balances have, until now, provided a firewall against a looming conflagration that otherwise would have burned democracy to the ground.  Now, our modern media have made the publication and understanding of the criteria of Fascism more accessible.  So, it's out there in plain sight.  Several excellent lists are available on line, for those who bother to look.  But how many are willing to sort through the haystack?  How many have decided a priori it is fringe thinking, impossible here?

    Also in plain sight is the historical success of the advocates of Fascism in labeling such accusations (those arising from an understanding of Fascism) as fringe, radical, Leftist, and unworthy of consideration from "normal" and "patriotic" people.  I remember a nationwide exercise in the 1970's in which people across the country were shown a copy of the American Bill of Rights, with the title obscured.  They were simply told it was a proposal for submission to Congress and asked their opinion of it.  By an overwhelming majority the Bill of Rights was vehemently denounced as Communist, un-American, Socialist, Radical, and/or dreamed up by Hippies.  At the same time the word Fascist elicited "Jack booted" Storm Troopers, armbands, extended arm salutes, marching armies, and - horror of horrors, seizure of privately owned firearms.  No one seemed to know of Mussolini's own words: "Fascism is corporatism".  Now, the granting of personhood to corporations, embodied in the Citizens United Supreme Court ruling empowering corporations to fund political campaigns with no restrictions is the very backbone of Fascism.  In plain sight. Unseen by most.

    So, I am not at all surprised that, today, Fascism can come into full bloom in America through the recent complete takeover of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of government by the very people who have advocated Fascism all along.  I mentioned elsewhere attending a dinner about 5 weeks after the November election at which a senior staffer for a highly placed United States Senator crowed, "Now we can do anything we want!" Sadly, he is so far correct.

    I accept the likelihood that some readers will dismiss what I've written as radical drivel.  I also accept that some drivers see State mandated seat belt laws as infringements on their personal liberty.  Darwin can be so current.  I will not accept a continuation of the "Pendulum hypothesis" of politics, the idea that we continually swing from left to right while living mostly in the middle.  James Clapper, the former Director of National Intelligence, was interviewed yesterday and said our basic democratic institutions are under attack, from outside and from within.  Asked if, by "within", he was referring to Trump he said "exactly". Pendulums can be stopped.  Do you care where it stops?

    Contrary to some public opinion, Trump did not break and enter into the White House by himself, or even merely with the help of the "undereducated White males" he appealed to.  Every move since his election, every executive order and appointment has had the backing of a hitherto largely silent cabal which can be described only as Fascist.  His repeal of every environmentally and socially beneficial action of his predecessor enables corporations to freely plunder and rape the planet, economically, socially, educationally and medically disempowering the vast majority of Americans in favor of a very select few. 

    We have lived for decades with the now defunct belief that inter-stellar space flight is impossible so it doesn't happen.  We are living now with the same flawed logic telling us that Fascism can't happen in the United States so it isn't happening.  Refusing to see Fascism is here until we see boots and salutes is of the same order of flawed thinking as refusing to admit to UAPs until we see little green men. So long as people continue to think that Fascism is only here once we see "boots and salutes" we will miss, at our peril, the actual parade of Fascism as it marches by in plain sight.  

  5. What if one day you were wondering through the woods sometime late in the afternoon. Maybe you are out camping, hunting deer during season or taking a hike. You stop for a few moments to survey nature’s beauty, when suddenly you develop an uneasy feeling of being watched. You realize there is unnerving silence within the forest along with the lacking presence of any animal. The sounds of snapping twigs draws your attention to turn around and standing before you is a giant, hairy humanoid. Welcome to Bigfoot country. You are face to face with the legendary Sasquatch, what do you do?

    Last week, I received a request on what one should do if such a scenario ever occurred. In the past, I posted articles on Abnormal Realm with suggested instructions to follow upon encountering certain cryptids. As I mentioned in them, such topics were in many discussion I had with my friend Pat years ago. I recall one summer where the possibility of brushing with Bigfoot came up while making plans for a camping trip. At the time, I was unaware the place we would be going to had several sightings of the creature back in the 1960s and 1970s. Upon Pat sharing this information with me, sparked the talk on actions to take if a confrontation happened.

    The discussed scenario is hypothetical, but anyone researching about the cryptid would discover every year there are hundreds of sightings across North America along with several rare incidents where humans were within arms reach of Sasquatch. On the fluke of such an incident, Pat and I examined on the possible outcomes. One circumstance we recognized was the chance of running into an aggressive Bigfoot which I will save for a future article. The situation we focused on was unexpectedly crossing paths with the creature. In past research Pat and I had conducted, we believe Sasquatch is a highly intelligence and intentionally avoids contact with humans. This means the creature steers clear of anything involving with people and tries to keep a healthy distance away from those it detects with heighten senses.

    There were several cases we read where people described Bigfoot expressing a confused or shocked look when directly meeting up with humans. Possible anyone coming face to face with Sasquatch could had caught the cryptid off guard as it didn’t expect to meet any humans. On the question on what to do when confronting Bigfoot, just know the creature is not hunting or stalking you, more likely the event occurred by chance which you maybe able to walk away from by following these suggestion.

    Now, I may mention this again in future articles as remaining calm and maintaining focus needs to be empathized. The human brain will go into a melt down when facing anything that should not exist such as an encounter with Bigfoot. The situation can quickly become dangerous if you enter a state of fear or panic. You must be alert and aware of the surroundings before reacting. Just keep this in mind, if the Sasquatch is not hostile there be an opportunity to get away from it. In the near future, I will follow-up this post with an article on what to do when facing an aggressive Bigfoot. As long as the cryptid is not baring its teeth, screaming, shouting, howling, stomping its feet, waving its arms, beating the ground, breaking trees and branches, or throwing rocks ,then the creature does not perceive you as a threat and you have a chance.

    1.) As mention in past articles, you must asset the situation. Ask yourself is the creature real? You could have walked on a movies set or be the victim of a prank. Hoaxes have happened in the past before where people encountered someone dressed in a gorilla suit. There are ways to determine if the Bigfoot you are confronting is real or fake. Is there a vile smell in the air? In some cases, people describe a putrid odour to follow Sasquatch. Is there any features you can see in determining the cryptid’s gender? Most hoaxes do not bother to make their costume anatomically correct. Did you mistaken the creature for another animal such as a bear on its hind legs?

    2.) Now, if convinced the Sasquatch is real here is some more information to keep in mind. You can not out run, out swim, out climb or fight off a Bigfoot. According to some cryptozoologist, Bigfoot is a territorial creature which sees you as the intruder. Your means of escape is not to provoke the cryptid and start acting submissively by lowering your head while avoiding eye contact. Remain motionless, try not to make any noises or facial expressions and wait till either the creature withdraws or an opportunity opens up for you to leave. At this point, your aim is to see Bigfoot’s reactions without agitating it.

    3.) Allow a few seconds to pass and see if Bigfoot withdraws first. If it does, wait till the creature is out of sight and slowly retreat from the area. Any screams, snapping of branches or any other noise you hear quicken your pace in exiting the scene.

    4.) If Sasquatch does not withdraw, this behaviour is its way of asserting dominance and indicating for you to leave. Still have your head lowered, slowly withdraw away from Bigfoot without showing it your back. Once you at of the creature’s view, make your way out of the area as quickly as possible.

    5.) If Bigfoot starts approaching but shows no hostility as you withdraw, pull out coins, shiny objects, anything with bright colours or even food and drop it in front of you as you walk away. Hopefully this will distract the cryptid giving you time to gain some distance.

    6.) If the creature is upon you without showing no signs of aggressive,  you need to stop moving and crouch down to the ground. You have to endure of few moments of being examined by the creature. Here take no action, maybe even attempt to play dead as in some reported cases, eventually Sasquatch gets bored and walks away. Once out of sight, quickly leave the area.

    7) Just to note. If you hear Bigfoot talking such as it saying “Hi” or something else in English, do not respond back or attempt to engage in any conversion. This may provoke the creature or encourage it to stay around longer which you do not want to happen A few cryptozoologist, theorized Bigfoot speaking is nothing more than the creature mimicking humans.

    8.) Now, after such an experience the choice will be upon you whether or not to share it with others.

    Hope this article maybe of some use to anyone finding themselves in hypothetical scenario where they encounter a non-existing creature which sightings of it continues to this day.

  6. Ryu
    Latest Entry

    It seems that the ego has become a rather popular topic these days. The ego is often portrayed as this evil thing inside us that just HAS to be utterly destroyed before we can be "happy". Really now?

    Does anyone even know what the ego is and its functions? The ego is pretty much a blanket term that covers innumerable aspects of the human psyche from the instinct to avoid pain and conflict to knowing right from wrong as well as encompassing our psychological make-up which includes our emotions, proclivities, preferences, views, our sense of who we are and knowing that others outside ourselves are individuals as we are. In short the ego IS us.

    Naturally some people can get carried away with their sense of worth and operate on the foundation that somehow they are more important than anyone else and often show no consideration for the feelings and value of others. Hence they are often referred to as "egotistical" or varying versions thereof.

    The ego is not evil, it is not some separate little monster that we are born with. It is a function of what we call 'the mind", since it does not have a location in the brain and cannot be measured as of yet with our current technology we claim that it is not a function of the brain thus we create an intangible aspect of the brain called "the mind" and relegate all equally intangible aspects to that realm.

    There are plenty of religions or belief systems that love to spout the idea that the only way to become "normal" or (my favorite mind job) "enlightened" is to kill off the ego. Have no likes, dislikes, preferences, emotions, no sense of ownership of yourself and so on. The problem with that is since the term "ego" refers to the mental and psychological aspects of the brain, eliminating it means to kill of yourself mentally in all aspects. I would even go so far as to say that human consciousness cannot even function properly if we snuff out everything that makes us "human". To kill off the ego is to destroy what we refer to as "humanity". I fail to see how that is healthy.

    Naturally we still need to learn how to interact properly and recognize that the emotions and personalities of others is just as real as our own and therefore we need to learn to be responsible for our own conduct and be cognizant and considerate of others; to act like uncouth barbarians whose idea of diplomacy is to belch as loud as they can then swing a club while rampaging in a pottery shop.

    In the end it is about co-existence and cooperation to whatever degree we can while recognizing  not just our needs and desires but that of others, it is what makes us human after all.

     

    P.S: Just to add that I am not saying that other relatively higher life forms on this planet do not possess an ego but for most animals, daily survival takes front and center row so their consciousness is geared for that however you will sometimes find examples of compassion and consideration among many animals too.

  7. July 2015 we got told Noel/ Michaels dad has stage 4 Bowel Cancer.

     

    Last year they said they had got it all over then a spot on his liver, which they shrunk enough to remove.

     

    They told him last month they thought he has 5-8 years of life left.

     

    Sunday 7th May he came out of hospital, but went back in on Tuesday 9th due to an infection he got put in ICU.

     

    Friday 12th May: Michaels mom Paula walks in Michaels room (his door was open) and goes OH you're both in here Noels going downhill fast, drs called a family meeting with her. The Chemo has stopped working, his Liver is beyond repairing the Cancer has taken over.

     

    She then starts with: You 2 need to think about getting married while he's alive unless your going to deny him that pleasure or seeing it.

    I said were getting house first.

    Then came YOULL NEVER GET A HOUSE ON ONE INCOME YOU CANT GET A JOB YOULL NEVER GET MARRIED IN THAT CASE. YOURE BETTER OFF LIVING HERE ITLL BE CHEAPER THEN RENT AT $250/300 WEEK. YOULL NEVER BUY A HOUSE YOU CANT GET A JOB. She said this twice while adding in (because I said no and we're getting house first) YOU'LL NEVER GET MARRIED THEN, YOU CAN'T GET A JOB.

     

    I told Michael I'm going for walk so went to the playground 5:40pm at night and rang a friend, rang oldest sister, rang dad.

    Sat at the playground until it was too dark and cold to stay out walked back to Michaels.

     

    I said to Michael later basically as much as I want to marry you, I'm not rushing it cause then it could end (due to dealing with her and a child's sized bedroom) badly. Also said his room is too small and with a house we'd basically be able to be in different rooms when annoyed at each other.

     

    Worse comes to worse YES we can get house on one income (he tried saying she means its hard. That's not what the money hungry itch said thou besides her house was brought with Noels income and her government benefit as she was classed as job seeker at the time) or we would live here (at dads) for little while. We wouldn't be happy living with her because of her BPD mood swings (as in if she got nasty and tried throwing him out, she threatened to once before when things didn't go her way).

     

    My focus is being there for Michael since he needs support, holding myself together while also facing the fact that his dad is not going to see us get married or ever visit when we do get a house. Also dealing with her.

     

    Saturday 19 Paula tried a verbal attack on me while Michael was asleep but didn't get anywhere. 

    Then tried saying her mom rang her and tried blaming Noel for his cancer. Michaels grandma is NOT that type so I think Paula said it in hopes Michael and I will turn on his grandparents. Michael was told what his mom claims and also doubts his grandma said it. 

     

    update 22 May: Went to take in a coffee for him, he wasn't there. Paula has ability to use his cell phone, his Facebook, her own cellphone and house phone to contact us since Noel couldn't due to sedation still. I wasn't told nor was Michael their own son!

    Noel's gone home for a little while, he's going into palliative care very soon. 

     

    When it was just Michael, Noel and I in the room (also when just Noel and I) not once did he say anything about hanging on til he says Michael and I marry or that it's his dying wish. 

    He did however say to me when I was there yesterday, that Paula needs to pull her behaviour in line once he passes. Also suggested a home loan and real estate they went through to get their house.  

    So the wedding talk and we should live with her has been confirmed to be her doing not his. Which is what I thought. 

     

    I ended up up leaving the room when she was there because she started verbally attacking me. I didn't want that stress on Michael or Noel. 

    Michael followed a couple minutes later and told me what Noel said, which is written below. 

    Noel told her he's sick of her trying to interfere in Casey (me) and Michaels relationship and causing problems by attaching us so much. 

     

    I suspect Noel can see that by her attacking she's pushing not only me away but also her son. She's single hand ably ruining the only family relationship she will have left. 

     

    I'm doing my best to support Michael while also trying to cope with it all. I'm thankful I have a loving supportive family who consider Michael family. 

     

  8. Spiritual connections

    • 1
      entry
    • 0
      comments
    • 161
      views

    Recent Entries

    Binx440
    Latest Entry

    HI there 

    This is my first time posting. 

    I will start with a some background history before I get to the interesting bit.

    I met "SG" about 5 years ago in 2012. My friend sent me a picture of him and from the first instant I saw that picture I felt drawn towards him. He was so good looking and damn sexy. 2months went by and we were going out to dinner with my friend, she brought SG along and told me that they were together so I pushed that feeling aside (let me just add that I had a boyfriend of 6years, so it was just a harmless feeling towards SG). 

    My friend and SG started dating and the 4 of us used to spend alot of time together. About 2years into their relationship she started to treat him alittle badly and he would message me to ask what she was up to ect because he was worried. My boyfriend and I were going through a very rough patch (he liked to party and drink and it started to affect our relationship ) My feelings for SG started up again and intensified with every fight each of us had with our partners. I started to imagine scenarios happening between SG and I were we would kiss or sometimes alittle more.

    In September 2014 my boyfriend an I broke up due to his drinking, constant partying and drug use but we were still living together in seperate bedrooms. My friend had taken a trip over-seas and one night my (ex) boyfriends friend slapped me across the face. I packed a bag to sleep at my dad's place which was where my friend and SG lived too. Her mom rented out rooms and my dad stayed there and SG and my friend stayed in a granny flat on the property.

    He told me to come sit with him and watch movies to feel better and one thing lead to another and bam we had sex. A few times after that night too. (Yes im a terrible friend siss on me) but flip I was in love by this stage!!!

    They broke up for other reasons (she cheated on him and left him for another guy) and he moved into a spare room at my house (with my ex boyfriend and I) the sex between us was our secret and no one knew what was going on. This new living arrangement just made it so much easier to continue our "just casual sex".

    When SG started to bring other girls home I realized how hurt I was and that it wasn't just sex for me I was in love but we had spoken about it and agreed we could never be together in a relationship as my friend and ex boyfriend would find out and things would get even more messy! ! Especially as we had no where else to live.

    We both decided to stop our casual sex and I tried to work things out with my ex. Things were going well for one month when my ex went out and did drugs partied for a few days and didnt come home. I was so mad I broke up with him again and SG and I ended up in bed again the next week.

    Fast forward 11 weeks. I find out Im pregnant I don't know who the father is and SG admits he loves me and that no matter who the father is he will love the baby like his own. We tell the world our story, we move out into our own place and our casual sex becomes a head-over-heels love that I have never felt in my life. We are meant to be together. He is my life and I love him with every fiber of my being. There is no other man in this entire world for me. We make love every day 3 to 4 times a day. We have the same likes, dislikes, tastes, we think the same, we are one. 

    He is there when the baby is born, I have never felt a connection so strong as I did the day I gave birth. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. I pray that the baby is his. We do a paternity test and 3 weeks go by. 

    Our little family is so perfect, he is such a good dad and I can picture our wedding until an email comes through and destroys our perfect bubble. My ex is the father!!! 

    As soon as he finds this out he distanced himself from me and the baby. And within 2weeks he breaks up with me and asks me to move out as soon as possible. His reason for breakingbup is that he cannot handle the baby growing up and being in contact with my ex and living my ad more than him, he used excuses then that he will never love my baby like his own blood child (so karma has kicked my ass HARD).

    My whole world was destroyed and I was broken. 

    While I was pregnant my ex realized what his life style was doing to him and he decided to change. He stopped drinking and going out, he stopped using drugs and he started to exercise more and go to church. He changed his life around and was doing much better in his career. 

    As soon as he found out that the baby was his he wanted to meet him. Along with his family. When he heard that I needed a place to stay he offered for me to live in the flat on his parents property. This was Feburary 2016.

    He stuck to his good ways and he became an excellent father to our son. (Our son loves him unconditionally) . By November 2016 we had grown closer as a couple and family and we became the couple I always knew we could be. He forgave me for what I had done to him and I forgave him for all his mistakes. He proposed to me in December and we plan to get married in 2018.

    It took me 11months to heal my heart from what SG did to me. But still to this day I hurt sometimes and memories are always popping into my head. I will always feel as though I've lost apart of my soul.

    A week ago (April 2017) I got an overwhelming sense of depression and saddness for SG I even cried. It came out of nowhere and nothing had reminded me of him. This feeling lasted for 2 days and then just vanished. 

    I was so confused by it that I googled what it could mean. One answer was that when someone shared a strong connection with another person they can feel what that person is going through even if they haven't spoken or seen each other.

    That night I had a dream of SG and my sister's boyfriend (who works in the same company as SG) that morning when I woke up there was a message from my sister's boyfriend that said SG was going through a depression and was trying to hook up with girls at his work. 

    The next day I saw that SG was looking at my whatsapp statuses and liking pics on my social media.

    This hasn't been the first time I have felt connections with people I haven't seen in a long time or the dreamt of random people and then seen or heard from them the next day.

    Has anyone else felt like this or experienced something similar? I would love to hear your stories. Or any answers/explanation to mine. 

  9. Ah.. still we are in Genesis. You have heard it said that when the first two people were placed in the garden they were told...eat of any tree you wish but of the tree of knowledge do not touch or you will surely die. So then the serpent says try this it's delicious and you will be wise like god and eve eats it and so does Adam and all the sudden they realize that they are nude and go hiding from god and god happens to be strolling through the garden that evening and says hey Adam where are you and Adams like we're hiding because  we're nude and god's like, who told you that? And so the blame game begins and god's all upset,  sewing leaves or skins together for them to wear  (please read why you are both good and bad blog first, it will explain a lot about "god") and then he's like get out with a big ass eviction notice for both of them. No more free meals,  no more free rent  no more free loading, your on your own and you can work to death for all I care !!!! Wow tough crowd huh???

    So No ... that's not what happened and the whole thing got twisted and heavily watered down because the old leaders felt it was too provocative and way too much info,  so you got this .....an apple, a tree,  two dumb kids, some heavy  peer pressure by a snake ,  and finally  a very p***ed off parent /  landlord.  

    Nope..... I'm gonna explain this whole thing very  shortly...  Put some things in perspective for you....... 

    OK so let's begin, first off when I say dumb kids I don't really mean kids as in  children I mean undoubtedly young people  because they would have been in the prime of youth ,healthy, young strong ..logical right? Right!

    So as you may or may not be aware the first man and woman were not exactly the first man and woman and were not exactly the first people's they were the first with a self awareness a higher consciousness of understanding. Intelligent!!! I will show where this proves itself,later. For now let's continue in the book if you look , the word  tree is often used in reference to a family a lineage, weather spiritual or literally a tree is exactly this all throughout the book !!!! A fruit is the offspring of the tree often referred to  as fruit ,again all through out the Bible it is referenced that a tree will be known by what fruit it bears.  Meaning what kind of people  and the  offspring or children they produce. 

    So if we look closely we see a young woman roaming through a garden , I'm thinking we are not looking at a actual garden here but a  fertile and bountiful territory of land that is obviously occupied by other humans  So here comes a snake a talking snake  to tempt eve. 

    Or how about here comes a person out of a different linage an older lineage an older model creation if you will. A more primitive but intelligent human  just not quite tweaked like this couple. "Let us create man in our likeness " which should probably should have read " OK we have created but how about we create them to be like us,  with a conscious an awareness a higher intelligence.  So in other words, hey you two don't mix or mingle with anyone but each other. Got it.! Of that tree you must not partake !!!! So here is this  beautiful different type of  man and woman and who comes along,.... old proto type.  Now he's smart he was the most cunning beast of the field. Right ?? Right!!  Cunning = having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit. 

    OK so this tells us that this one has been around long enough to learn how to be clever in a sneaky way like a criminal who has mastered the art of stealing but lacks the intelligence of a conscience. Primitive !!!  And note it says" the fruit was pleasing to the eye"  so this was one beautiful piece of fruit or we are talking about someone's apparent physical  attractiveness! So, he says to eve ,if you eat of the fruit your eyes will be opened and you will be like god knowing good from bad. I doubt that conversation ever took place but She  fell for it and ate of the fruit ......

    *SEX*  that's what happened and she gave the fruit to Adam and he too partook of the FRUIT.   *Sex*.... she taught him  sex after she herself  learned it. Then all the sudden they notice they are naked and feel shame.( What an odd reaction.  after a eating a piece of fruit ) So then they get thrown out of the garden. Why because the project is now ruined, she's pregnant she mixed with the lower intelligent being the offspring will NOT be a reproduction of great intelligence of these two, Adam and eve. Then the intruder/snake  is cursed by god to slither it's belly and eat dust all the days of its life. or maybe it should have read "you are a lowly creation never will you prosper you will crawl all the days of your life. Her offspring and your offspring will be enemies. (Enemies with snakes ? What!)  Notice up until this point there are no children born to them.  Now here's where it gets crazy. All the sudden Adam and eve are pregnant  but she says with the help of the lord. I have bore a man (male child). What...I thought it was with the help of Adam ???? So here comes Cain and Abel  twins I would stand to bet. One like his mother one like his father "the snake"  so like his father he is primitive so he kills Abel who probably had more of his mother's traits. Cain leaves he's now an outcast   and goes of and settles in some town and finds a wife! But how  they were suppose to be the first people's back in Eden. Second time it proves the point of a prior  primitive creation , besides the so called snake or rather the guy who wasn't Adam!  Also look over Genesis carefully. There are two creation  Stories back to back. You will see where primitive man was created first and then a second people's  that were obviously created with intelligence in mind. You can't till the ground unless you have some type of awareness. Just read Genesis and note where it starts over completely. So anyways after all that with Cain. Seth is born and notice when he's born ,then and only then does Adam speak and says now I have a son from my own flesh. Quite an odd thing to say after your supposedly third child.  Don't you think ??? 

    We will conclude tomorrow. 

  10. The Cthulhu Days Festival, Mardi Gras and Tango Contest was held on the 22nd of April… For those wondering why it took me so long to post this Incident Report After Action Review article, the sheriff only just let me out following the events with the Balloon Beer Fleet…

    As always the Festival began precisely at midnight(ish) the morning of the Festival, when the masses of fun loving festival fans, creepy cultists, moonstruck minions, zestful zealots and curious onlookers gathered deep in the heart of the Old Creepy Forest, at the ancient shrine to the Great Old Ones (not to be confused with the more recent clearing dedicated to the Grumpy Old Ones used for the Old Coots and Cootessess gatherings)… As the multitude of bonfires were lit, and the great Bronze Gongs were rung by festively painted and attired gangs of zombies, the Council of Mods representatives gathered on the platform high above the Great Central Pit (not to be confused with the many lesser pits, sinkholes and pot holes that abound in the forest), the combined choirs of Floggers, Henchmen (and women) and dungeon tour guides began the ancient chants some have described as “Gregorian Chants done by Rap Bands”.

    As the gathered masses enjoyed (or else) the chanting, merchants weaved their way through the crowd selling various beverages, various treats such as “cephalopod on a stick” and the ever popular kids treat “Chocolate Cthulhu Bunnies”…

    At a signal from the combined Gongs, the chanting stopped (more or less in unison) and the Chief Mods began the arcane rituals needed to summon the Great Old Ones… They began by chanting the Forum Rules, then Switching to the Great Book Of Outer Mongolian Traffic Laws, finishing up with Performing UM’s Unofficial National Anthem “I’m A Little Tea Pot”… A hush fell over the crowd as they waited with festive joy - and at the same time dread, for the appearance of the Great Old Ones… Slowly a vast cloud of indescribable color (and odor) rose out of the pit. The crowd edged closer in anticipation. Suddenly the cloud coalesced into the form of Shirley, Cthulhu’s personal Office assistant. Her voice rumbled out: “I’m sorry. The number you have summoned is either no longer in service or busy. Please disconnect and re-summon. This is a recording.” And the cloud vanished.

    Muttering a few phrases and words that violated at least three of the Forum Rules (and laws of physics), the Mods gave a few pithy commands and all the performers returned to their start positions and the ceremony began again…

    Five tries later, Great Cthulhu and his entourage finally appeared and assumed their position as Grand Marshals of the Parade. The festival goers were overjoyed to see that with Cthulhu were his former wife Idh-yaa and their four kids Gthanothoa, Ythogtha, Zoth-ommog and the crowd favorite: little Cthylla… This was the first time in eons (literally) that Cthulhu and his once mate were seen together in public and many people began speculating about a reconciliation between them, particularly when he wrapped a few of his tentacles around the parts of her that they could reach and seemed to hold her affectionately as they waved to the adoring crowds.. As you may recall (from mandatory UM History classes you were supposed to take) the pair had an acrimonious split back a few tens of thousands of years ago… She got the Palaces in R’lyeh, the planet Vhrool in the 23rd nebula and the green binary star system of Xoth – plus an undisclosed cash settlement. While he got to keep the trademark on his name, and the slime encrusted bungalow in Muncie, Indiana that he shares with his unemployed kids Nctosa and Nocathulu (by another mating).

    As the Grand Marshals seated themselves upon their massive floats, the festival goers rushed in to take up the ropes and soon the hordes of straining fans were pulling the carts through the Old Creepy Forest along the Ancient Dirt Trail toward the Main UM Complex, to the accompaniment of the massed banjo bands of the Western Oubliettes …

    There was one minor problem with the parade. When the parade began emerging from the Old Creepy Forest, the Balloon Beer Fleet from the Old Coot and Cootess Ball, Limbo Contest and Flea Market, made an unscheduled appearance overhead… They had been avoiding the elements of the UM Air Force that were sent out to “round the hooligans up”, and – being on a week long beer binge – began pelting the parade with empty beer bottle and cans – before a strong gust of wind (an F3 tornado summoned up by the annoyed mods) blew them out over the Great Dismal Swamp – where they were last seen attempting to land to “gather up some more munchies and beer”…

    The parade crossed the Great Outer Moat and as Cthulhu’s float reached the center of the bridge, they paused to let Cthulhu greet his former pet Pookie the Moat Monster… Pookie was (as always) overjoyed to see his(?) former owner and possible creator and it was quite a while before Pookie calmed down enough to stop the earth tremors.. Finally with an affectionate tugging of some of Pookies Spinal Tendrils, the parade proceeded into the Main Complex.

    Many more fans and spectators lined the Grand Processional Way to witness the parade, and the fans were not disappointed. Leading off was the South Eastern Society of Raptor Wranglers, leading and riding their award winning Velociraptors, and tossing candy to the crowds… Behind them came the Massed graduating class of the UM Tuba Tuning School, performing “The Flight of The Bumblebees” on their tubas. Following the Tuba Band came the ever popular Precision Drill team of Marching Zombie Nixons and Churchills, led by their director (the zombiefied) Charles DE Gaulle… A series of floats followed representing the various guilds, unions, associations and therapy groups from here at UM, then the Grand Marshalls floats passed by followed immediately by the combined UM mental health workers to ease the disturbed and battalions of Lawyers handing out disclaimers, statements absolving UM and its staff from any liability (real, imagined or arcane)… At last came the float honoring the winners of this years Tricycle Race, Demolition Derby and Chili Cook-off..  Team Puce rode proudly on their float which was a representation of their winning strategy – a massive, record setting bribe after the fact… As always the fans love to both cheer and boo the persons honored on this float..  Bringing up the rear was the world renown UM Kazoo and Snare Drum Marching Band, playing their signature song of “Louie Louie”

    Following the final floats and marching bands, came the hordes of zombie street sweepers, trash picker-uppers and pothole replacers – which as always received the biggest cheers of the festival.

    Due to last minute schedule changes, some freakish bad weather, the delay in starting the parade and an outbreak of various severe – and embarrassing - diseases, the Tango Contest was postponed to later this summer, to be featured as its own event….

     

    Next month is a quiet month here at UM with no major festivals or events scheduled. It is a time of maintenance of the Oubliettes, dungeons, torture chambers and Public Library… Those interested in assisting (and not already ordered to do so anyway) are encouraged to speak to their buildings Chief Flogger – or an available Inquisitor. We can always use an extra set of hands to help spread the slime, muck, mold and mildew in our sleeping areas… Remember, participation in this event is seen favorably by most parole officers! See you there!

  11. /intro

    What you selling?

    ^bless

    Nah, man... that don't work right away takes forever but controls you way to hard.

    ^bless is 1/2 of that so you are already 1/2 natural bless^

    Bless...er. What? 

    ^you got 1/4 bless

    Do I got a quarter bless?

    ^bless yourself by -Do (multiplied by) -¿tone?

    I got quarter bless

    ^bless flip real soon, got truckers atlas that roads itself, and got your own 4 corners 

    Like that perpindicular some say is cross.

    ^bless yes see king arm crossed stand high proud/see king arm crossed same pose but on back -pride +++telling his princes about clouds and stars

    And I'll flip it now bro sis and say quarter turn either way I see queens rule then 180° or turn two corners and queen tells man carry this ^bless for me

    .....

    Quote
    Kain: The Pillars don't belong to them, Raziel... they belong to us.
    Raziel: Your arrogance is boundless, Kain.
    Kain: There's a third option, a monumental secret hidden in your very presence here. But it's a secret you have to discover for yourself. Unearth your destiny, Raziel. It's all laid out for you here.
    Raziel: You said it yourself, Kain... there are only two sides to your coin.
    Kain: Apparently so, but suppose you throw a coin enough times... suppose one day, it lands on its edge.

    --soul weaver ii

    /hip connect to hop, thigh sinew connect to main, and come and cover (jacob 2 iarael Etymology Mix reprise)

    And we count heads, tails, edge, and alloy. Who has a head and a tail? Then perfect balance for that side inbetween both light and dark, right and wrong, this and that not this vs that, then you have noble within known as goddess annointed or deity powered.

  12. We had a chance to participate in an elk study of the vast herd of Aspen Ridge, high (9500 feet) in the White Mountains of Arizona.

    Every day, without fail, we would be rewarded with a great view from our perch on a ridge overlooking a large meadow.

    This video [2:51] shows a herd of about 65 beautiful animals. We especially enjoyed to young ones playing and running.

     

  13. CJ1983's Blog

    • 2
      entries
    • 0
      comments
    • 757
      views

    Recent Entries

    CJ1983
    Latest Entry

    Once you decide to take the 1st step of preparation you’re going to want to put together a small bag that you can keep in a place that makes the most sense for you; at work, in your trunk, in a closet, or your garage.  Now there are many variations for these types of bags; get home bag, go bag, bug out bag, whatever you want to call it, it’s just a bag to help you get by when a situation arises where you need to move from A to B or even just an assembled bag to have what you need when you need it even if you’re just staying put.  

    Before you go out and buy a huge expensive pack that’s intended to use to hike Everest, you may want to decide what you’re going to put in it.  When you decide what you need, gather it up and figure how big of a bag you really need, a small book bag may be all you need, or maybe not.  I do suggest that it is a size that you are comfortable carrying when it’s fully loaded for at least a few miles. 

    For instance, I use a small dark brown backpack of good quality, but doesn’t scream, hey I have stuff that you may want to take from me.  Here’s a list of what’s inside, just for ideas.  Keep in mind I live in an urban area with desert and mountains not too far away depending on which way you choose to go.  I travel often from San Diego to Sacramento, CA about a 550 mile trip one way, or from San Diego to Phoenix, AZ about 350 miles away.  So I like to be prepared if I have a break down in my car and have to spend the night in an unknown area.  There’s a whole lot of nothing on either of those trips that I make at least once a month.

    Contents of my back pack:

    1 skivvy roll (shirt & underwear rolled inside of a pair of good boot socks)

    1 beanie, bandana, lightweight jacket & 1 pair of hiking pants

    1 filled 32 oz aluminum water bottle & 1 empty collapsible water pouch, 32 oz

    Food, jerky, granola, nuts, sunflower seeds, fruit leathers

    First aid kit, Chap Stick, sun block, water purification tablets

    Fire making materials

    Multi tool & a fixed blade knife

    Flash light & a headlamp, with spare batteries

    Emergency blanket, the sleeping bag kind

    Pen, note pad, ear buds,

    Spare wallet with $100 in small bills, and an ID

  14. 19

     

     

                Tim and Mrs. Hickory were in a forest. They were walking with Jane towards a castle because some nice little squirrel had told Jane it was a good idea. They didn’t remember the hospital or how they knew each other. They just knew that they must have been good friends because they got along so well. The forest was just beautiful too. It was filled with lush evergreen trees and there were no briars or brambles or any scary animals. And Tim discovered that he could always hear the river nearby; it flowed parallel with the path to the castle. So, there was no way they could even get lost in this forest. Tim was having a wonderful time.

     

                The group was nearing the edge of the forest when they heard a loud thump. The squirrel who was following them, scurried off to hide. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory walked toward the sound. It was in the direction they were already heading. It wasn’t long before they saw some brush moving on the side of the path. They drew nearer and discovered a woman lying there, moving her arms and legs slowly. Tim thought she was trying to get up.

     

                “Hey, are you alright?” Tim asked. “Need some help?”

     

                “No. I’m fine.” The woman in the brush struggled harder.

     

                “You don’t look fine to me, Lady.” Tim replied.

     

                The woman said something Tim couldn’t understand and then she managed to lift herself onto all fours. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory stepped backwards as the woman in the brush caught her breath and got on one knee. Then used her recovering strength to stand on her feet.

     

                “See, I’m fine. Wait…Tim? Mrs. Hickory? And is that…Jane? What are you guys doing here?” The woman in the brush inquired.

     

                “We’re going to the castle but first we have to get through The Peaceful Forest; that’s what I’m calling it anyway.” Jane said.

     

                “A nice little squirrel told Jane to go to this castle and then she found us so we all decided to follow her. The Peaceful Forest is so pretty isn’t it?” Tim added.

     

                “How do you know our names?” Mrs. Hickory demanded. “We never told you.”

     

                “Yes, you did. At the hospital.” The woman answered.

     

                “What hospital?” Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory asked simultaneously. The squirrel came out from the trees, running and short of breath.

     

                “We have to go. Come on, hurry!” The squirrel said and sprinted towards the edge of the forest and the castle beyond. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory followed suit. The woman in the brush, whose name was Ria, stood still for a moment. She looked at the dark castle and knew she had made it back. This time, she was going to make it to the castle and nothing was going to stand in her way, especially not those three idiots and their dumb squirrel. But for now, she would play nice with them. Who knows what existed in this world, it would be wise to stick with a group. She ran towards the castle after them. Back in the forest there was another thump, but no one was around to hear it except for the trees and one lonely deer.

  15. I know there are a lot of skeptics here.

    You don't believe in God, or ghosts, or aliens, etc....to each his own, and I totally respect that.

    But something I've come to believe directly from my experiences in my job, and other personal experiences, is that the mind of a human being is exceptionally powerful.

    How?

    I have seen people who should of died, remain alive by sheer will.  Or...a cancer patient not exhibit any symptoms until they are told they are sick.

    People in comas wake up at the touch of that one loved one who they needed contact from.

    The mind is intrinsically connected to the body and it's well being in ways I feel the majority of people are unaware of....almost a divinity within.

    I largely blame religion for this loss of knowledge.  And technology.  (I suspect that the majority of people find it hard to believe because it's too 'out there' or intangible.)

    You can will things like changes in blood pressure and heart rate.  Healing. One study even found you can will things like weight loss.  I truly feel this is an untapped power that needs further exploration.

    What is my point?

    To be aware of your inner dialogue at all times.  I'm not talking about a militant, OCD type of self patrolling, but more of a gentle redirection when your thoughts stray into negative territory.  I have employed this is my own life, and thinking positively isn't merely some new age cliché.  You become what you think.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/owning-pink/201207/mind-over-medicine-the-awesome-power-the-mind-heal-the-body

    The placebo effect is a well known documented phenomenon most people are familiar with, and I have been witness to it myself working in facilities that perform clinical trials.  I hope as we continue to 'practice' medicine that more physicians will trend towards incorporating meditation on well being into treatments.

    http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/02/can-the-mind-heal-the-body.html

    But you don't have to wait for that, you already have the power now.

    Have a wonderful week,

    Mia

     

     

  16. HansWaldron

    • 1
      entry
    • 0
      comments
    • 258
      views

    Recent Entries

    When I was abducted.

    the purple flower was the only different species of it's kind and all the othe flowers would bring it down saying it didn't belong...but the purple flower was the most outstanding and of course one of kind who had been picked by a beautiful young lady who absolutely loved poetry, and would tell the purple flower a sad love story every day.

     

    I died on the operating table after having an arrow removed. It came from a powerful Crossbow. They snipped the metal tip from my back and yanked out the arrow from my chest. Then I died. A hospital security warden wheeled my bed to the morgue and left me through the door. Feeling like an alien I jump off the bed and caught the door from closing as he never noticed a thing from leaving the door to close. I made my way through the hospital exit with nothing but a hospital gown on and made my way home with my ass showing 1f642.png:)

    Event : Clubbing Courtney Place. Wgtn NZ
    Incident: Outside main door Burger King
    Time of actually happening: New Years 12:10am 
    Reason: Unknown
    Hospital: Lower Hutt Main
    Hospital exit door: In corrodoor via cafe kitchen
    Story: Fact ..

  17. Seach for the Dragons

    • 1
      entry
    • 0
      comments
    • 217
      views

    Recent Entries

    Blacklashdragon
    Latest Entry
    Around the world, people are celebrating the Chinese New Year and the start to the Year of the Dragon. This got us wondering: Where did the myth of the dragon come from in the first place? Scholars say that belief in dragons probably evolved independently in both Europe and China, and perhaps in the Americas and Australia as well. How could this happen? Many have speculated about which real-life animals inspired the first legends. Here’s our run-down of the likeliest suspects.


     
  18. Xanthurion2
    Latest Entry

    Remember that girlfriend I mentioned in a previous blog? Well it wasn't long after that blog was posted that we broke up. It was doomed to fail from the beginning. I don't even know why I said yes when she asked me out. I am in no position to have a girlfriend. It's too bloody expensive and time consuming. Frankly, I have better things to do at the moment. So in a way, I'm glad the relationship ended. Yes, she came to my life at a time I needed someone to save me from the darkness and I found comfort in her arms. But we didn't have a lot of time to spend together so as soon as she left, I was alone in the dark again.

    The problems started very quickly. She began complaining about her family and her friends and even herself. Almost everything she said was putting herself down because of what someone else said to her. I tried to help her. To convince her that she was a good person; that these people were just mean and they didn't care. But she didn't listen. In fact, most of the time, she ignored me when she was feeling upset. Even after I did help her feel better many times. I began to expect getting the cold shoulder instead of a warm greeting text every morning.

    When she told her family about me, that's when the real trouble started. They immediately rejected the idea of me dating her. They overreacted like we were in a Mexican soap opera or something. They would yell at her or sometimes just ignore her to try and make her break up with me but she couldn't do it. She wanted me to meet them so I agreed but they refused. Then I somehow got roped into meeting a friend of their family. That went about as smoothly as a rusty saw blade. I only succeeded in making our entire situation worse because of my awkwardness around strangers being misinterpreted as disrespect. It was at this point that I was beginning to give up.

    Now we were forced to sneak around and see each other in secret at irregular intervals. It dwindled from once a week to every two weeks to over a month without seeing each other. That was when she cheated on me with her ex. Why she would want to go back to him, I still do not understand because based on what she told me and the screenshots of some of his texts to her, he was a complete grade-a douchenozzle. Harassment was just the beginning of the horrible things he did to her. And yet she still sought attention from him just because there was no way she could come see me because we were so far away. She couldn't wait. She couldn't text me back. She couldn't even have an intelligent conversation with me. She just couldn't be what I needed so I couldn't take it anymore.

    The stress was too much when piled on top of all the other stress I was already dealing with. While I am happy for the experience, I regret every single second of it. I should have never let myself get that close to someone I barely knew. Someone I didn't even really like that much. The worst part is, I actually did grow to love her before the end of it. But I can't even think of her anymore without thinking of everything she put me through. And for that, I don't think I can ever love her again.

  19. This is a hit on the late side, but that doesn't harm anyone now does it. So seems this past year of school has been passing by at a much quicker rate than I had ever noticed before. It is my senior year and here I am looking at college, jobs, and so much else. Slowly have iI seen my pack grow as well. From new members to new lives. I am engaged to my mate, I have been doing better at being open about me being trans and that my name is Damon. I have figured out that I am actually more demi-asexual, someone who is only partially asexual, and that life has seemed to smooth out from what it used to be like. So as I am here I am going to announce that I am starting another blog section and it will be called Story Time With Damon. This is where I shall be posting past stories and stories that I will later be experiencing in life.

    in regards to all this, spring break is in 9 days counting weekends. Not sure if I will be here or in Kentucky yet, but as it seems I will be here. In that sense I do hope to see Standing Fox as soon as possible since I need to pick up my pelts from him.

    Expect to see me outside on Tuesday April 4th. This is a day for therians and otherkin to both go outside at 5:00 pm your time and make the sounds of your theriotype and kintype. To show that you are not alone where you live. So expect to hear my howls of my wolves and maybe even the roars and growling of my dragon, who will be talked about in my next entry.

    another blog entry on here will be arriving soon this week or this month. For now this is Lunar Wolf signing off.

     

    IMG_2038.JPG

  20. Kismit
    Latest Entry

    So.... is it wrong that I am concerned that the current political situation in America is gradually spiraling into a religious stand off.

    With Trump being strongly represented by,as well as being a representative of the Christian Faithful. 

    More and more I see, read, and hear religious quotes or people talking about prayer in regards to Trump. It worries me because segregation and feelings of rightful superiority for any race/religion is dangerous. 

     

  21. Leese

    • 1
      entry
    • 2
      comments
    • 323
      views

    Recent Entries

     I am currently dealing with a issue that has to do with my apartment. I believe the place to be haunted by a mimic. it has appeared as me or as one of my 2 daughters so far. seems harmless. it does have the ability to mess with the childs toys and it has reset my microwave. I will hear it in the kitchen messing with the pots and pans or the silverware. my grandson who is three ran terrified from the play area claiming he saw a large black bird in the corner. I am seriously seeking answers as to what this may be. it has become more active lately and I am not sure as to why. my son in law heard one of the childs toys going off in the play area and he went to investigate. he was recording from his phone trying  to catch it when he became very cold and he was choked up with emotion to the point of crying and he has no clue why. I know a great deal about a lot of this stuff but I want an outside opinion on the matter. I am not sure if I should perform a cleansing. it has not harmed anyone only scared my grandson. this has been going on for 4yrs

     

  22. Mar 04 Little to no access to UM still. Internet Dead Zones, route/Hubs/blah but it will correct itself in a couple months for some reason. No Einstein it has nothing to do with: -firewall -antivirus -ip -browser -cookies -javascript setting etc. blah.

    Recap: deadzones, something changed the routes out on the internet.  AGAIN !

    *sighs*

    Will be back if it corrects itself and/or I happen to try again in a few months.

  23. Short Stories

    • 5
      entries
    • 10
      comments
    • 547
      views

    Recent Entries

    He watched as the rising suns began to peer out over the distant hills to the far west, for Miradwin orbited it's binary suns "backwards" relative to other planets in the system, Valus didn't know the precise reason for this, something about the planet having been knock out of its original orbit billions of years ago. Ancient astro-history wasn't a concern of his, the fact that the suns had failed to reveal his herd of Drongas, however, was. The massive beasts were semi-wild, but very circular in their habits, dispersing into the forests at night and coming out into the fields of tube-grass in the mornings to feed. As Valus approached the edge of the tube-grass he could not spot the leathery backs of the Drongas which normally spotted the fields. He made his way to the fence and through the waist high grass, the fence was more of a formality, used to designate the edge of his property, Dronga could easily step over the fence. At twice his height, nearly six meters, Drongas were the largest animals in the region. Despite an impressive set of tusks and their large size, Dronga were very passive animals, Miradwin's early settlers found that they could easily milk the beasts without fear of retribution (Dronga nursed their young). Valus could see no prints in the grass, the herd hadn't even arrived yet. This was very troubling, Dronga milk was his family's main source of income, if his herd had wander too far off, or worse been slaughtered by poachers, his family would be out of a home! Letting out several short clicks, intended to resemble the calls Dronga young make when separated by their mothers, Valus tried to couch any beasts in the area to show themselves. Drongas never traveled in small groups, if he could locate at least on of his animals, the rest would be nearby. After a few minutes of searching the outer fringe of the nearby forest, Valus came across a gruesome sight, three dead Dronga, their massive bulk lay by the stream that trickled from the far off hills. As he got closer he could see that the smaller of the three, a female, had been partly skinned and beheaded. Valus let out a deep sigh, Drongas breed only once every two years, the loss of a female was a serious punch to the gut. He retrieved his comm-unit from his bag and contacted his oldest two sons to come and help him with cleanup, and to bring the gun. Valus didn't like having a gun around, he despised the damned things, but he had heard one too many stories of poachers who were willing to harm farmers.

    After a couple of minutes his sons, Keah and Ralun, arrived. Keah, the oldest, had the gun slung across his back and carried the gas canister. Dronga were simply too big to bury, so it was customary to burn them when they died, considering how importuned the animals were to them, Valus though it was only appropriate to give them a funeral pyre. He began to douse the animals in fuel while Keah stood watch, Ralun walked up to the largest of the Dronga and rubbed his hands through the beast's patchy hair. "They got Skeevo, poor old Skeevo!" He said, kicking the dirt. "He never hurt anyone, and they killed him just to feed those ravenous maggots they call children!" Part of Valus sympathized with his son, but he also wished he would watch his words. While their people* were one species, they were divided into two very different races, Valus and his sons were members of the Nakandri race, who were shorter, more robust and more "wild" in appearance than the taller and slimmer Malvika race. The differences weren't just of the physical variety, Nakandri breed slower and took longer to reach maturity than Malvika. While Nakandri see themselves as closer to the ancestral type, Malvika saw them as "primitive", a throwback to a more savage time period. Miradwin was one of the few planets where Nakandri were allowed to live on somewhat equal terms as Malvika, who were both more populous and held more political power. And that showed no sign of changing.

    The funeral was relatively uneventful, and after making sure that the bodies had burned  thoroughly they began their return journey home. Aside from a few broken branches they saw no sigh of poachers, nor of the rest of their herd. While Nakandri were happy to trade Dronga milk to the Malvika cities in the east in exchange for supplies, many Malvika felt that they had a right to simply take what they wanted from the "lesser" race. It was a sad state of affairs, Valus thought, that his sons and daughters (of which he had three), would spend their whole lives being looked down apon by Malvika. The pain of a lost herd was at least lessened softly by the sight of Valus' homestead coming into view, a two story domed structure, composed of wood and various metals gained through trading, it was just big enough for their whole family, smoke ebbed its way out of the trio of chimneys and filled the air above the homestead and light shined out of the colorful glass windows on the upper floor. It was a welcoming sight to Valus, and he was reminded that, while their lives were an almost daily struggle, he at least had his family, many Malvika sons were recruited from a young age to serve in the armed forces, battling out on distant worlds, against alien enemies, likely to never see home again. Valus hated conflict and war, and it saddened him that his species were more concerned with slaughter and conquest than trying to find peaceful solutions to problems. He had taught his children that violence and force should only be used as a last resort. As they approached the homestead, Keah and Ralun went off to the shed to gather tools needed to harvest the day's supply of fruits, while they gathered Dronga milk to trade, Valus' family sustained themselves of fruits and fish gathered in the surrounding forests and streams. Valus himself headed inside, where he met Meva, his wife. She had the most beautiful hair, a light auburn color, like harvest grain. They hugged and he rapped his arms around her and brought her in for a warm embrace.

    "Is something wrong?" She asked him, and he told her the whole story about the Drongas. She placed her hands on his shoulders and tried to comfort him, "We can find a new herd, or gather enough fish to trade!" She said, trying her best to cheer him up. "I can't take it anymore!" Valus said, raising his voice, something he rarely did. "They treat us like dirt, steal from us and threaten to take our land if we don't have enough to trade with." Valus had lived almost his whole life on Miradwin, but he was at the end of his ropes, after everyone had gathered to eat, he announced to his family that they would take everything of value and trade it for an inter-planetary ship. "And just where do you suggest we go?" Meva asked him. "I once heard of a small, watery world, on the far edges of the Imperium, it already had a sapient species present, so it was only lightly colonized. We could start fresh, no poachers, no fear of eviction hanging over our heads." He explained to her. While it was true he wasn't sure if that world was even real, he knew that sometimes you just had to hold your breath and dive into the metaphorical waters. It took a bit more convincing before Meva finally agreed. "That settles it then, tomorrow me and Ralun will head into town to find us a ship and someone to fly it." He said, hoping for all their sakes his plan would work.

     

     

     

     

    *Zylottans a reptomammalian species, roughly 5-9 feet tall at the shoulder, with their necks adding another two, they have a snakelike head (lacking external ears and with only vestigial nostrils), thick muscular tails, tipped in a small venomous spur, and barrel-shaped bodies. While they are bipedal by choice, standing on their collumn-like legs, they can "revert" to a quadrupedal stance when running. As they are not as "leggy" as humans, with arms and legs being of about equal length. Due to their evolutionary nature of being amphibious, they have webbed hands with each finger (a thumb and three fingers) encased in a claw up the the second joint. Their feet are vaguely circular, with only three claws, the fourth being vestigial. The end of the tail is flexible enough to rap around objects. They are covered head to toe in "hair" (actually modified scales) that can range in color from brown, to blonde, to red, to black. Eye color is typically brown or blue, with green appearing in 1/1000 births. Zylottans are a long lived and slow growing species. They are primarily carnivorous, but can and do eat fruits from time to time. The dental forumula per jaw is 4 pointed incisors, 1 canine, 3 premolars and 4 molars. No teeth are visible when the mouth is closed, although the canines may be large enough in some individuals to poke out between the lips. Sexual dimorphism is minimal, females are only slightly smaller and slimmer than the males.

  24. I love mysteries... probably a little bit too much. I've been so curious of the unknown, that I've tried to :

    1). summon demons
    2). talk to the dead
    3). do magic spells

    the list goes on...  (maybe I have too much time on my hands)

     

    Anyway.. I was researching information on the ouija board and I've always been skeptical about it. I saw that the prices range from about $15-$30. I was watching videos of people disproving it and finally came to my senses. As a 21 year old man, I am VERY CHEAP. I hate to spend money. And if there's anything I hate more than SPENDING money is WASTING money. I came to my senses and now I'm laughing at myself for even thinking about buying a cardboard game, only to end up talking to this cardboard and having it not reply.. Then I'll be sitting there looking stupid and angry about wasting my money on a kid's game.

  25.   Some of you know that I volunteer for a sort of advocacy group, mostly focusing on lower income and illegal workers, both legal and illegal.  For over a year now, it has mostly been about prostitution, homelessness, unemployment, the usual thing one thinks about when one thinks about these things.

      But things have changed.  And the change is scary.  I am scared.  I am seeing it happen, right in front of me, real-time.

      Two weeks ago, I received a call that a woman I know who has been working as a housemaid in the U.S. for 14 years had been arrested by ICE and was going to be deported.  I had to go pick up her children at her home, because the children had been taught not to open the door for strangers, and that the people outside were police officers did absolutely nothing to reassure them.  The only reason they came out for me was because they knew me personally, and because I convinced the Child Welfare lady to send the cops away.

      Here's the thing:  The Child Welfare lady let me take the children.  She let me take them to someone else I knew who was an acquaintance of the arrested lady.  I'm not sure how many of you have ever worked with Child Welfare, but they don't do that sort of thing without knowing every little detail about it.  Most of them truly do care about the welfare of the children.  And, I suspect that is why the lady let me take care of them.  Because wherever she was meant to take them, she decided that the kids would be in a better place where I took them.

      What about their mother?  She was arrested at the police station.  She was there because she was filling out a witness report to a crime she saw happening to someone else.  I'm still working with the legal rep.  They want to deport her to Mexico.  She's from Venezuela.  She's currently in a cell with a woman who shot another woman over a boyfriend.  At least that woman has a different bar regarding what should be considered illegal behavior.

      Some people here like to argue politics as a hobby.  They like to think of these things theoretically.  They don't think they do, heck, they have even sometimes convinced themselves they really sincerely care about the topic, and that they are personally affected by it.  But here's the thing:  How are you being affected?  What have you seen?  What has affected you personally?

      Last week, I was talking to the pastor at a little church.  He needed advice on the tunnels he was digging out of his church to a nearby building.  He wanted to make sure his safe room was safe and hidden.  Why?  Because sometimes, homeless immigrants came into the church seeking shelter, or simply because they needed spiritual support, and since they did, ICE decided to wait by the watering hole, to catch and question them on the way out.

      Do you understand what is happening in this country, right now?  Churches are building escape tunnels.

      What for?  Is it just so they can avoid the front door and then carry on happily in that neighborhood?  No.  Once you are targeted, you need to get out of the country.  Not the neighborhood, not state, the country.  Because ICE doesn't give a damn about you or your family.  They will separate you and send you to Mexico, and if that rips you away from your kids, oh well, you will catch them later probably, or not.

      Canada is receiving refugees from America.  Refugees from America.  Let that sink in.  People are so scared of their families being torn apart by American law enforcement, that they are hiding in tunnels and traveling across the entire freaking country to escape to Canada.  They are literally crossing deserts and snow fields, at night, to escape.

      That is what America has become.  A country of hidden rooms and tunnels to protect refugees.  Of Child Welfare agents willing to look the other way, so that families have a chance of staying together.  Last week, American citizens were required to show their citizenship papers to get off a plane that had neither departed nor landed from a foreign country.  Muhammad Ali Jr, and his Grandmother were approached by LEO and questioned about their religion.  Do you think that having legal papers will save you?  The president signed an EO that detained legal visa and green card holders.  This is not about having the legal papers.  That's just the excuse.

      What is it going to take?  What is your cut-off?

      If the private prison corporations start building temporary camps for illegal immigrants, is that going to be okay?  Beats putting them in actual jails, right?  We don't want to be uncivilized about this.

      How about we use those camps for marijuana users as well?  Sure, the government is talking about going after marijuana users as well, but they aren't criminals, right?  They would be safer in camps, rather than prisons, right?

      Where is your line, people?  Where?

      Are you willing to carry and show your papers on demand, like the people on that plane did?  That happened.  It isn't theoretical.  It happened.

     Are you willing to be questioned about your religion?  It is happening.  Right now, as we speak, there are police officers questioning people on the suspicion of being Muslim.  Where is your line?

      There are secret safe houses for good people who are trying to keep their families together.  There are secret escape tunnels to keep those people away from law enforcement trying to send them away to a country they may or may not be a citizen of.  That's happening.

      It may not happen to you.  If you are white, it won't happen.  But maybe it'll happen to a friend of yours.  Maybe you don't even remember that they aren't white, just because you've know them for so long, and their race just isn't an issue with you.  How involved are you?  How much in danger are you?  Is it just politics, or is it actually a part of your life?

      When I went to talk to the housekeeper, ICE demanded to see proof of my citizenship.  I was born in California.  I have an Associates, a Bachelors, and a Masters degree.  I served as both enlisted, and as an officer, in the U.S. Navy.  I have fought in two wars for this country.  None of that mattered.  The only reason I was approached and questioned was because my skin is brown.  The only reason I was not detained was because my day job is with a federal analyst group, my boss outranks the ICE captain.

    This isn't politics for me.  This is my daily life.  I get stopped.  I get questioned.  I get detained.  People I know are having their families torn apart.  People I know are trying to escape the country.  And people, like the pastor at the church, and the lady from Child Welfare, they also know things are happening, and they are doing what they can to help.  They knew where the line was, and when that line was crossed, they took action.

    What's your line?  Have you even thought about it?