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  1. “Dear ch

    ”Leave selfishness and live the messages which I am giving you. Without them, you cannot change your life.”

      calling you: pray for peace. Leave selfishness and live the messages which I am giving you. Without them, you cannot change your life. By lContinue:

  2. Debs

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    Our human existence is filled with many journeys and adventure intertwined with our daily lives.

    We have our main journey ( who you see and what you do for a living)  and then you have intervals on this journey where you experience pain.

    whether it is physical or emotional pain makes no difference,  the actual experience of it creates either a stronger you or breaks you and u need to start rebuilding. 

    For me it is interesting how pain can push you to accept it's level of discomfort if it is a constant pain. We adapt to the feeling and move about our life's.

    Emotional pain on the other hand can be a challenge. Depends on how you approach the resolution thereof, you might not always be able to walk out of the experience. 

    Three day rule I grew up with. Hang on for three days, survive the pain for three days then it will get better

     Of course that is not always the case and me waiting three days just proved to me what I really can survive...and then doctor's alleviate the pain.

    Once this detour on your main road has been completed one simply returns to the journey, a little wiser to the level of pain you can endure and a little more thankful for the spaces in your journey where you don't experience pain.

    Pain for me creates thankfulness for the painless moments,  almost the same way that the silences between the noted create the music. 

  3. It is difficult to understand what ‘Infinite mercy’ is

    Then I heard the words:  As you are united with Me in life, so will you be united at the moment of death.  After these words, such great trust in God’s great mercy was awakened in my soul that, even if I had had the sins of the whole world, as well as the sins of all the condemned souls weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God’s goodness but, without hesitation, would have thrown myself into the abyss of the divine mercy, which is always open to us; and, with a heart crushed to dust, I would have cast (131) myself at His feet, abandoning myself totally to His holy will, which is mercy itself. (Diary of Sr. Faustina (1515)


    It is very difficult to understand what ‘Infinite mercy’ is.  Then to seek to understand the reality of ‘the lost’ is another ingredient that makes it only thornier.   One problem is that we too easily understand punishment and the pain that comes with it.  We humans on a regular basis bludgeon each other both in a metaphorical  sense as well as physically, either on a one to one basis, or through a more wide spread approach; war for instance.  Where millions can be killed with impunity; the civilians just considered collateral damage.  So to be harsh and demanding, unforgiving and seeking justice is all mixed up in our understanding of God.  Then of course the stories in the Old Testament don’t help much in that regard as well. 

    Yet we have in Jesus Christ and how he lived his life and related to others that shows another way.  Even when he was angry towards the religious authorities and spoke the truth it was done only as a way to open them up to another way   When people speak of telling the truth to others in love, it is often a mask to cover over anger and even hatred for the one being hammered in the name of the Lord.  Yes, we find it easy to understand eternal punishment, because often we can wish our enemies to go that place of endless torment, which our imaginations can easily fill in the blanks.  This is often unconscious, the delight in thinking about eternal judgment for those we think who deserve it. 

    What is not understood is “Infinite Love’, sense it is other than human love.  Sr. Faustina was used by God to try to instill trust, since religion can often with the best of intentions bring out the opposite.  Hell as we understand justice is easy to comprehend, which is the problem.  What it is within the reality of Infinite Love is something yet to be learned and understood. 

    We all need to speak the truth to one another “in love”, not in anger, or spite, or in some self-righteous way that only pushes people away.  I believe that goes for all areas of life, but especially when we talk about our relationship with God.  In the story of the Prodigal Son, I believe it is brought out that the nature of the Father’s love is much more than an earthly father is capable of…..hence our need to not judge, but again knowing when to speak the truth in love.  It goes both way, can we accept the truth spoken in love when it comes to us?









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    Misc.: Just talking to myself and a few entities in the states. Apx.: moment was,18:35 Thursday,October/13/2016


    ============================================= sig.

    Oh quaint apropos, truly a plethora of colloquial platitudes abound. --As of yet UNKNOWN!;D
    I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.—Jon Stewart
    There is nothing impossible to him who will try.—Alexander the Great circa/around or about /Apx.: 333 B.C.
    Keep the dangerous close.

  4. On September 22nd, 2016, I finally got my wisdom teeth removed.  I wish I had done this when I was younger, as when I was a teen, I didn't have high blood pressure or other issues.  In August my blood pressure at the oral surgeon's office was too high, so I had modify my diet, so it was in an acceptable range.  Early September it was acceptable, so I finally made an appointment.  I don't remember much that day. 

    I remember taking a medication to sedate me.  When my friend arrived, I felt very tired.  I remember going into the Dr. Office, getting into the chair and having the IV put in my right hand.  I then remember being told I could go home and then I remember eating a chocolate Wendy's frosty.   I felt okay.  I slept very well.  I called my brother twice and didn't remember.  

    I didn't have a lot of numbness in my face or lips and it went away very quickly.  I did have pain, some of it off and on that was bad.  

    It will be 3 weeks tomorrow.  For several days I had soups and liquids and probably did so longer than I had to but I'm older.  I haven't yet started eating chewy, crunchy food or hard candy. 

    I also haven't sip out of straw and will wait another week before doing so, again, probably longer than I had to.  

    I was concerned about dry socket which is a very painful  if you have the misfortune of getting it.  Thankfully, I didn't get it.  



  5. I’ve been considering writing another story. Thing is, I haven’t finished two stories I started months ago. I just haven’t felt like writing, been doing other things lately, plus, my mind hasn’t been in the right place. This means my brain hasn’t been wanting to function as a creative writer.

    The brain’s been needing some time off for a while. I can tell when my brain feels overworked and wants to shut down. I can tell this because it just shuts down one day all by itself and refuses to be moved by me. It doesn’t want to be compelled to think anymore. I can’t really blame it for this.

    Thinking is a difficult process, as we all know, and this is why we usually avoid thinking whenever we think we can function without thinking. In other words, thinking about thinking is enough to discourage us from the act itself. In my case, I haven’t been able to make my brain do any thinking for a few months. This is why I haven’t written anything lately.

    However, the me that is separate from my rebellious brain has been considering a new story. It’s another episode of my robot private detective. When I first thought of writing a story about a robot private detective I thought it would be a good idea, so I wrote the story, “The Case of the Crippled Replica” in my story blog. The term “Replica” would be a good term for robots in some future society, since they are all replicas of themselves, though they all have different personalities.

    I suppose Humans programmed them with personalities so they wouldn’t be so boring to live with. Of course, Humans all have different personalities, and they can be boring to live with, even so. Anyway, I’m working on this convoluted plot. It has to be convoluted because it’s a detective story. Thing is, it’s difficult concocting a convoluted plot while my brain is refusing to cooperate.  

    I’ll let you know if I come up with anything worthwhile, but as my brain is resisting me, don’t hold your breath in anticipation. Brains are contrary organisms, and unfortunately have a mind of their own.   



  6. Hey everyone, I just wanted to make a quick poll to try this feature out, give it a try if you want. it wont bite.







  7. Zylotta

    Latest Entry

    I used the PC game Spore to create a reasonable construction of a Zylottan, what do you think? I had to make some compromises, there's no webbed and clawed hand, so I had to make due with webbed.








  8. Premonition or anxiety?

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    Lately, I've been having a gut feeling that someone (a specific person) is going to pass away, in a very specific way.  I had a dream about it at first, only one.  I thought about it, then forgot about it, as I am not afraid of death for myself or others.  However, the gut feeling started coming up during the day about a week later while this person was away and it was my first thought when that person wasn't home or didn't make it home in time.  This passed last week.  Now, starting last night, it randomly came back like a huge wave crashing, but much more heightened than it had been in the past.  It is now a constant nagging feeling in my gut that this person is going to pass, and there is no way I can help.  I am wondering if this is a premonition that gets more and more intense as I get closer to the event or if it has just become a form of anxiety. 

  9. Those here who know me, even a little, might appreciate how true to form I was in responding to another one of those folks on the political "progressive" side.  Or not.  I was answering a criticism this guy had about Trump vs Hillary.  He saw my opinion and informed me what he thought of it/me.  Here is my response.  It was centered primarily on the danger she poses because of her gun control agenda.

    +Richard Mcneil You're more than stubborn, you're nuts, bat**** insane, even
    9:42 AM

    You're welcome to your opinion. Anonymous folks on the web don't get under my skin. I'm not trying to anger you, either. I'm serious. I'm 56 and I can tell you that things politically are as bad right now as they have ever been in my life. People who consider themselves to the Right of the political spectrum have watched a president who for 8 years has done everything he wanted, regardless what the other COEQUAL (until now) Legislative Branch did or said. He has actually broken existing law, MADE up his own version of laws and has routinely just ignored laws that were inconvenient to his agenda. THAT is tectonic. It has changed - possibly forever - the balance of powers in this nation and it was done without any effective resistance from his opposition. Our nation's laws were based on British Common law and PRECEDENT rules in this system. From now on we can expect any president to use the "pen and phone" whenever they cannot or will not work with the Congress. Hopefully you can see the danger in this since someday, eventually, it will be a non "progressive" president doing these things. As bad as the Left believe Bush was, even he didn't just try to rule as a king. I expect Hillary to win and if she doesn't then I expect a certain amount of transient (hopefully) violence on the part of those on the campuses and the inner city Plantations. She will use her pen and phone to limit gun rights to the extent she feels possible and she will begin that process quickly after taking office. Anyone who has watched her career has seen how amoral and angry she is. She will over reach because she feels invulnerable. When even the FBI won't touch you then you pretty much have carte blanch to do as you will. If these restrictions are minor and sensible then, while they will be fought on principle due to the corrosive effects of precedent, there will be no violence initially. When she comes for the next bite at the apple and cops or other government agencies begin arriving at doors to relieve certain groups of their arms then I stand by every word. There WILL be a civil war. It won't be about race, either. The lines will look like a Gerrymandering map. Rural areas in every state except possibly the extreme Northeast. Whole regions like the mountain West, Southeast (minus major cities maybe) and the Southwest will form up in defense of the Second Amendment. No personal offense intended but you seem quite Left leaning and I hope you realize that just because you are used to being compliant in all things managed by the government does NOT mean most of the rest of us are. I am a law abiding citizen, have been all my life. There comes a time when that can change. Our founding fathers resorted to extreme violence when they had tried all other options - to wit:

    Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. 

    What that means today is that when one ideology uses the mechanisms or a corrupt government to gain permanent advantage over all others - and to FORCE that ideology onto all, then fighting is the last resort. No sane person wants war with their neighbors, but dying for liberty kind of runs in the blood line where I'm from. You probably should do some serious thinking about the millions of "bat**** crazy" Americans who have had ENOUGH and just aren't going to bow before the queen.
    I've not heard back from the guy yet, can't imagine the response though :)   
    I truly hope that I'm so wrong that I'm going to be very embarrassed come December and January.  I can't see it though.  This ...person.... is as transparent in her evil as a glass of poisoned Evian.  
    You know, I've always been a BIG guy.  Often fat but ALWAYS, BIG.  Rather than be a bully I tended toward staying quiet and out of people's way because I didn't like conflict, especially violent conflict.  I learned to live and let live as much as possible.  It takes patience and acceptance of diverse opinions and usually is it's own reward.  Just occasionally though, someone or something will insert itself unbidden into your life that is, simply NOT ACCEPTABLE.  When that happens then adjustments, painful at times, must be made.  
    I wonder if the Brits and later the "Yankees" thought of  people like myself as "bat**** crazy"?  I just hope that before this trip begins, the progressives think long and hard about this train they seem to want to ride.
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  10. Ok so, for this entry I decided I would tell a few tales that I have from being a therian at the school that I go to. Most of these I no longer care about nor do I wish to care as they truly don't matter, but to understand more into why I get angry towards my school about stupid punishment things well here are the few major stories I still remember.

    One weekend me and my current mate (we weren't at the time) were talking. Some guy was threatening him trying to get him to come to the mall and fight, which he never would do. Well the guy threatened to beat him up, race his current girlfriend, and come kill the rest of us. Well this being a serious matter we toke it to the office. That Monday I was sick so it was everyone except for me who went there. After they went, he messaged me, saying that they let him off with a simple warning of not to bother us. What he said and what he was threatening and they didn't give it to much thought. This relates to the fact that as soon as a rumor started on how we had a hit list or that we were going to shoot up our school or dump acid on someone we were called down and questioned.

    Another goes to my friend having her tail stolen which is how a lot of the things began. This guy, the one who started many of things, had stole  my friends tail and had it in his locker. There was basically a bounty on all of us and that if they got our tails and toke it to a certain person then they would get money for it. Nearly two months later and the school had finally done something about it. We waited for so long, tail or not, it was stolen property and we waited so long to get it back that all of us had began to get so angry and asking for a friend of mine to get into his locker to get it because he knew the locker combination. 

    These are two of the bigger stories many are little or don't matter or have a lot of importance behind them like these two. So much had happened and the school did very little to help us when this is our belief and also my Native American side. They stated we had to have papers showing that we were our tails for that stuff otherwise they wouldn't count it because it wasn't a major belief or anything. Eventually they banned our things as props to get around our belief and so now we still fight, not as bad, those who bother us and try to attack us all because the school won't do anything. Some teachers or friends who know me well enough or are very nice will stop people, but otherwise they go unnoticed and get to do as they please.

    Well for now this is what I have to say. Much of this is in the past, some still lurks in my memories, but at least we are more safe now then we were before, but that's because we fight for ourselves and no one else. We don't even bother going to the office for anything at all because those who still go here and we're or weren't a part of the war, they know we can't rely on the school for ****. 

    So for now this is Lunar Wolf signing out. Be safe my mates and never let the world stop you. They see only a sliver of your life and judge you on it. Don't let the hate get to you when they don't know your full story and haven't seen all parts of you. Be safe, be strong, and I'll see you all next time. This is Lunar Wolf.


  11. I always wonder this. There are thousands of Bigfoot sightings going centuries into the past. More happen now, I'm sure, because of population increase and urban sprawl. But I ALWAYS wonder about the other half of the coin here: the hoaxer. 

    • Why do you do it? 
    • How much time are you willing to invest into the hoax?
    • How much money are you willing to pay for a suit? 

    It's ridiculous once you start rabbit-hole thinking about their motivations and desires for the hoax. Sometimes it turns out really bad: like the guy who got run over by a 15 year old girl on the highway while dressed as Sasquatch. Sometimes it just makes you laugh your ass off, like with this weird monkey dummy thing someone threw into a swamp. And sometimes it is clearly just for financial gain, like with Rick Dyer carting a fake Bigfoot in a freezer all over the country charging $5 a  pop for a viewing. 

    Is there really some kind of weird secret society out there? I really really want to jump into this topic more. I think I might put this into deep research.  You know, I look at what many people consider to be a compelling bigfoot video like the Patterson/Gimlin footage and I'm just shocked at the potential amount of time and effort that a small group of people are willing to dedicate to this bizarre hobby. 

    Do you hoax? 


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      So this all happened when I was five.  I woke up from a bad dream and this unnaturally glowing silver cat with big blue eyes was in my room.  At the time we didn't own any cats, so I was mesmerized by this, yet still frightened because of my dream.  It just padded over to me, and lay down next to me.  As soon as it did so I felt completely calm and fell asleep, when I woke up it was gone.

      Ever since I have been seeing ghost dogs and cats.  One of which is my dead cat (who just so happened to be my mom's cat in high school.  She died at age 27).  She died six years ago and I still see her ghost to this day walking around the back yard sometimes.  Other times I will see one singular white cat with green eyes, who often likes to troll me.  So I'll be sitting around doing my own thing when all of a sudden I see it staring at me and I stare back, then it will just poof away.  Another thing I saw once is a large shaggy dog.  It just padded down the street and vanished into thin air.

       Not entirely sure why I see them, but they haven't really caused any trouble so far.  The only one that I get annoyed at is the white one which I have named Myst.  Sorry for the short entry, just thought this may be a nice thing to post for my first blog entry. 

  12. preacherman76
    Latest Entry

     I had thought about writing this blog for a long time. I just couldn't over come the feeling that it was taking things to far though. To expose myself in such a way is very uncomfortable for me. Not only to strangers, but even to a couple family members that read this blog, none of whom had any idea. With the recent unfounded, outright ridiculous ban on the herbal supplement Kratom, I felt I could no longer hide what was a very dark part of my life. How I was saved by this amazing little leaf. Even though this blog will have little to no effect on the situation, the least I can do at this point is tell my story. To give my testimony. Maybe if there is enough of us.........

    Did I ever tell you guys about the first time I took a Vicodin? Of course not. That's been my dirty little secret for the past 10 years. And even though I've been drug free for the last 2 years and counting, every time I considered speaking to others about it, how my experiences may actually help others, the burden of exposure just seemed to bring me to a place where I was unwilling. I have always been the one others have come to for help. Be it spiritual advice, or with help moving, or whatever. I've always been the guy willing to help others. Never the guy looking to burden others with my problems. I guess that's why it went on as long as it did, cause I refused to burden others with my addiction. That combined with a big dose of shame. Anyhow here we go.

     First let me say that even as a young man, who was willing to experiment with certain drugs, I instinctually knew to never take it to far. Id always run away long before any substance could trap me. I also knew there were certain drugs that people should never EVER do. Like Heroin for instance. So I was taken completely by surprise the day I realized I was addicted to pain pills. Thinking back, if I had done any research, or even understood anything about them at all, I would have ran to the hills long before I fell in its trap. Truth is I never thought it would be a problem. I mean after all these are prescribed by doctors. They certainly would never give me anything that would harm me, right?

    It even took a couple years for the outright abuse to begin. For a long time Id take them as prescribed. There was no reason to go further then that. They not only knocked my pain outta the park, they also made me feel like superman. Any big project at work, or at home, Id just pop a couple pills and off I went. It made even the most undesirable tasks a pleasant thing to do.  I cant remember exactly how long it took, but after some time I began to notice the script wasn't lasting the whole month. I ended up being completely out with a whole week or more to go before I could get another script filled. It must have already had me in its control by then, cause I didn't even see that as a problem. I didn't even have any side effects during that week at first. No with draw symptoms at all at first.

    That's when the depression set in. It took me about three months to connect the dots. A day after the script ran out, for about 3 days Id go through this massive depression. And here is the amazing part about that. Once I figured out why I was getting this horrible depression every month, I still didn't even think to stop. I just ignored the depression, cause I knew I wasn't really depressed. I was just down cause I was outta pills.

    So it wasn't long after that that I would buy other peoples pills to get me through that time. And this went on for years. Looking back I cant believe how foolish I had become. That I couldn't see the ever intricate web this substance was spinning to trap me deeper and deeper every time I took a pill.

    Well finally one day my doctor says to me that it was time to come off them. And that he was gonna start weaning me down over the next few months. I agreed and pretended that was a good idea, not wanting him to see the absolute panic I was feeling inside at the thought of it.  And that's what he did. Every month he'd drop the number of pills by 10. Forcing me every month to spend more and more money on the black market. Till one day I was completely reliant on drug dealers to supply my addiction. It was about that time when I finally had to face the full reality that I was a junky. Which was both a horrible, and wonderful realization. Now that I fully understood my problem I could finally do something about it. But what????

    No way was I going to expose this to people who were important to me. To my church, to my family. No way could I disappear to a rehab for a month. I have people depending on me. Mouths to feed.

    By now doctors had begun to crack down on everyone, so the supply wasn't as easy to get as it was in the beginning. Or sometimes Id just run outta money. I can only thank God I still had enough sense to understand that things like bills and even food had to come first. But I found myself often going through a full blown withdraw. I cant even begin to express to you how horrible that is. Every part of my being wanted to just stop. But every time by about the third day of feeling about as bad as I could, Id give in just to get relief. It didn't even get me high anymore, just made me feel normal again, for that day.

    I even started to wonder just how long I could continue living. If it wasn't for my children I don't even know that Id be alive today.

    Now finally to the main point of this blog. One Sunday, spending another day on the couch while my family went on about their day without me. I finally had enough. I went to the computer to try and find anything that could help me through the withdraw enough to see me through to the other side of it, to freedom. That's when I learned about Kratom. I didn't have enough money to buy any pills that day, but I did have enough to buy a bag of this. Couple days later it came in the mail.

    Now it still took a lot of determination, and still even feeling like total crap. I still had to fall and get back up a few times as well. But at least I could sleep at night without feeling like I wanted to jump outta my skin. Or climb the walls.Through the hardest parts of the withdraw. It got me through long enough to begin to feel better. , and for the first time in years feel like a human again.

    Ive been drug free for a couple years now, and have felt great for all that time. I have kratom to thank for that. Please, what ever petition you come across to stop these criminal drug companies from banning this life saving supplement, take a minute and sign it

    Thanks for reading folks, God bless

  13. simplybill
    Latest Entry
    I woke up at 3:00 AM full of energy. I have no idea why. Maybe because I recently switched from fake honey to raw honey.
    I discovered I had left the back door leading into the basement WIDE OPEN after walking outside yesterday afternoon. I didn't find any stray raccoons, but I did have a basement full of singing crickets.
    -----A tip for those of you who also leave your doors WIDE OPEN overnight:
    If you have a cricket in your house and it is fraying your nerves with its nails-on-a-chalkboard chirping, aim a floor fan in the direction of the chirping. The chirping will stop in just a few seconds. I have no idea why. Maybe they think it's a tornado. 
    So what have I been doing since 3:00 AM? I folded laundry, packed my bags for my next trip, put some chicken thighs in the crockpot, washed dishes, bid for my October work schedule, transferred all of my passwords to the 'contacts' section of an old cellphone so I don't have multiple random slips of paper in my desk drawer, and fed the birds. All of this before 7:00 AM.
    If I had this much energy every day, I would soon be as rich as Donald Trump.
  14. So Haloween is my absolute favorite of all time holiday. It's not just the candy, horror films, or scantily clad revilers (above the legal age of course). It seems that ithis is the time of year when when even the weirdness is weirder than usual.

    During the summer months, high weirdness gets blamed on the heat, in the autumn it is blamed on the thinning of the veil or the ever increasing darkness as we march to wimter.  Lets just keep things weird, that's all.  So here are a few Haloween movie recommendations in no particular order.


    dog soldiers

    bad moon

    the birds



    any classic universal monster movie (wolfman, dracula, frakenstein etc)

    dracula untold

    and a few good tv series would include

    American horror story (any season)

    penny dreadful


    sleepy hollow


    I am sure I have missed someones favorite, it happens. Of course for those with children, some of these suggestions would be inappropriate. But that's up to the discretion of the parenting unit.

  15. tcgram
    Latest Entry

    A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

    For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

    But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

    “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”

    “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

    “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

    The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

    Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

    The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”


    Do not underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It’s our differences that make us unique & beautiful. :)

  16. TheLight

    Google Sky Maps - Hidden North Star

    Why is the Polaris or "North star" hidden in Google Sky Maps? Who is behind this cover up - what are the connections? We look at some time-lapse footage and some astonishing information was revealed by shining the light on the darkness of this world.




    Jas 1:17  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 


    DISCLAIMER: You may never look at the world the same ever again.

  17. It's Dire...

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    I wrote this in 2011, 4 years before my cat and familiar, Toulouse, was born.

    There is no real story behind the poem itself, as it was something I had decided to write one fall night, and thought it was just "magic in the air".

    My cat, on the other hand, is quite another story...

    He was one of three kittens born of a feral mother I had hand tamed over a course of months. By the time she had her kittens, she was comfortable enough to come and go from my house as she pleased (so long as the door or window was open). When her kittens were finally old enough to walk, she began bringing them to my back porch. As I was walking down the hallway one morning, two of the kittens had run, but one of them, the solid black one, just sat there, petrified, and looked up at me. His little blue eyes were so deep and intelligent, before I had even bent down to pet him, I could already feel the bond starting to form, and I fought it hard. I didn't want this kitten, I had already made up my mind to keep one of the others. But as I patted him, I could feel his tiny body shaking, and I wondered why he choose to sit and let me pat him when he could have run like the others. I considered that he was paralyzed with fear, but as I looked at him, I felt as if it were something more, maybe a test.

    Days after that, I had caught all three kittens and had put them in my bedroom while my husband and I moved our things out of the house (we were renting). I tried to interact with them a bit, but since they were still so young I was met with unfriendly spitting and swatting. The black kitten was the only one who did not spit or swat, he instead was very still and even purred when I pet him. The others, when I finally did touch them, tensed up and growled. When it was time to take the one I was keeping and let the others go with their mom, I kept the black one. I fed him boar bacon. He sat in my lap on the ride to the new home.

    He has kept me from suicide.

    He has been my best friend.

    My brother.

    My familiar.

    My rock when the anxiety gets bad.

    He has done for me than most any human could ever hope to claim.



    Black Cat Chivalry




    There's magic in the air tonight.

    I can sense the change in the breeze.

    Can you feel it too?

    Tell me you can feel it too.

    Tell me you can sense the magic in the air tonight.


    A haunting melody and a melancholic chant is all it takes.

    That's all it takes to bring tonight to life.


    Can you hear them calling?

    Can you feel the magic calling out to you?

    I feel like an addict.

    I'm addicted to this Black Cat Chivalry.


    Black cat.

    Magic cat.

    Look at what you've done.

    I'm addicted to you.


    There's magic in the air tonight.

    I can sense the change in the breeze.

    Can you feel it too?

    Tell me you can feel it too.

    Tell me you're the magic in the air tonight.




  18. The Psychologist I was seeing (Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Clinical Depression, OCD and Social Phobias) left and so I was given a new one I'll call her Ann (not her real name), unfortunately she is not the right fit for me. She's told me to do techniques in dealing with difficult people I've done and go no where with and would not listen when I told her I've done that and nothing changes. Ann's answer was just keep trying it, people don't change but you need to change yourself. "I've been in this job for a very long time, so trust me people don't change". She repeated a few times. I disagree that people don't change because I myself have changed in many ways. She has booked me a few sessions with the intern Psychologist, who I saw today and he was very helpful. Ann was of no help and I walked out of the session feeling worse, also having bad Anxiety daily (from Friday last week until today aka Thursday) which is odd. Normally I come out after a session feeling hopeful and ready to try new things. Today I spoke to the intern I'll call him Tom (again not real name), Tom gave me some good advice and I walked out feeling a lot better. He's asked I keep a diary about dreams since I've been having some odd dreams and nightmares but unknown triggers. Tom it seems also is not a fan of Ann's and said she is very straight to the point, I also was trying to word it so it came across as she's not right for me but for some she would be.  Ann told me do not validate the difficult persons feelings where as Tom has said validate, also when the person is lashing out block them out as much as you can like you would a tv in the background. Hopefully this helps and I get everything under control again.

  19. Child of Bast
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    It seems that the media might be misleading people about what is going on down here in Southern Louisiana.

    New Orleans is not flooded in any part. The flooded areas begin about 30-45 minutes north of the city. On the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain, there's a lot of flooding, despite the higher ground than New Orleans and areas south of here (previously devastated by Katrina), but there are also many rivers and those have been topped causing the massive flooding. Further north toward Baton Rouge is where the bulk of the rain sat for days. Way over to the west two hours toward Houston, the City of Lafayette received 9 inches of rain.

    New Orleans was forecasted for rain as much as Baton Rouge and the surrounding areas, but we didn't get hardly any. It rained here all of Thursday and half of Friday and that's all. It was just heavily overcast the rest of the weekend. The sun broke through late Saturday afternoon and then Sunday , I wasn't sure if it was going to pour or be sunny.

    My cousin lives in a town called Prairieville and as of today where I last read a report from the LA State Troopers, if you were to take I-10 toward Baton Rouge, you'd be forced off at the exit for Prairieville, unable to go farther. My cousin's house backs onto a man-made lake, which got a lot bigger, but thankfully did not flood her house.

  20. A few weeks ago I shared the first day of my new job as director of the RCIA in our parish.  RCIA stands for the Rite of Christian Iniation of Adults.  It is the process though which people pass in order to be received into the Cathollic Church.  It is a wonderful concept.  I went through it myself over 4o years ago and although it was nothing like the process of today it was a wonderful enlightening period of my life.  I will never forget the dear priest who invited 5 or 6 of us "inquirers" into his dining room each week to learn about this wonderful faith community that has been growing for almost 2,000 years.

    For a decade we had a fantastic Sr. of Charity as director or our RCIA program but she was 92 and decided it was time to turn in her car and her license and go home to the Motherhouse in Cincinnatti.  Oh it was a sad time for all of us when Sister left us but she left us with a wealth of wisdom and we have been building on that for two years.  Now I am creating a program based on the Sunday scripture readings along with foundatons presented in the Catechism of our Church.  Here's where the miracle come in... I know that I am not the aurthor of this process.  I am just not that smart.  I just pray a lot and word come out of my fingers unto the keyboard.

    I took this on knowing that I had to have surgery on my left hip.  I can't walk without a cane or a walker.  I had made an appointment with the surgeon who had done my right hip and double knee replacements. It took over 2 months to get the appointment and 2 weeks before the appointment I was informed that my appointment was cancelled because our insurance carrier had dropped them.  Now I had to find a new surgeon and in Florida that means another 2 month wait.  What to do?? Well I started praying.  

    After the second day at my "new job" I came home and picked up the phone and called the best and busiest surgeon in our area and miracle of miracles he gave me an appointment the very next week.  This Tuesday I met with Dr. Z and after looking at my x-rays he told me it was really bad... I wanted to say "you think?"  What I did say is how soon can we do this because I have a wedding in DC in September.  He said "you are really pushing me" but, God bless him, he scheduled me for next week!  

    "O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his merccy endures for ever! Out of my distress I called on the Lord; and the Lord answered me and set me free."Psalm 118




  21. Well after my last blog post, and despairing completely and the rhetoric of some here, I stayed away because it was honestly getting to me.

    So I left, went away for Star Wars Celebration and only came back (signed off) to see if some measure of sanity had returned.

    Alas, it's not. If anything it seems to be getting worse. Between people thinking it's the end time, practically wanting a civil war or wanting swathes of the population unable to vote... it's honestly become crazier. And yeah, I'm thinking of doing what I thought about before, leaving indefinitely, because I just can't take it. I can't take seeing how little these people care about human life or other people's rights. I can't take how much they'd rather hate, or how much they love their guns, or how much they want the end of the world, how much they long for other people to just be slaughtered in droves.

    So yeah, I'm out. I'm done. You can all stay and get more and more insane. Worship death. Worship guns. Go on killing sprees the second wthings don't go your way. But I won't be here to see it.

    I hope someone can restore some mesure of sanity here someday, but I just can't see it, not when members left and right seem to be baying for blood.

  22. Experiences of a lifetime

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    It's almost the end of summer break, almost time for my education on art and physics to resume, almost time to go back to that school, that old school that creeps me out to no end, but this entry is not about that school, but my own home, where I should feel safe as I have had it blessed 97 times in my whole life. Honestly i'm thinking of getting an exorcist because it's just insane, so to let you see what has been happening, I tell you the story of last night, well this morning at 2:30 but still.

    my room is upstairs to the right, blue walls that have taken many colours, the entity that has left me with scars that I can not explain, my parents chalked it up to self harm, but it wasn't, I just woke up with those. Honestly my parents think i'm going crazy, they even sent me away from the house once, that got me 2 months of peaceful sleep. But last night, I was terrified for my life.

    the old owners of the house liked to do satanic rituals, leaving my dad and uncle to have gotten the house cheap, my dad later bought out the house and my uncle moved two towns over, in the district that the bus that takes me close to my school goes (E34 in MA to be exact) this is important because I refused to go to my house most of the time so I spent time caring for my grandmother in the afternoons.

    so, on to what happened I woke up at 1:34 to my sister doing this ritual called the "hooded man" I naturally stopped her before it was complete and took the cross with a white candle I had bought (along with some sage I got from a cool store in province town it was a 3/2 sale so I got 9 candles) and then told the entities she had called that they were not welcome and were to leave the house after 30m I was like ok I think that was enough and went back to my room and watched YouTube 

    I then was startled a while later by the room getting cold, I was under my covers in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, I looked over to the corner where I had my papazon chair, to my horror there was an entity there. It kept getting closer every time I looked away, so I ended up on discord, a voice chat for gamers with some of my friends from the uk, they started yelling at me to take my bible and cross and get the hell out of that room. I was attacked on my lower right thigh I will insert a picture of the inflicted damage

    so I go downstairs and my parents wake up and start yelling at me and call me delusional, though this is not the first time it has happened.


  23. Hellofifa

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