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  1. A troubled young man


    About a year ago, we had a young man come into the retreat house one morning asking if he could stay a couple of nights.  He was traveling and his place of employment would pay for his lodging.  Did not know what his job entailed, but he told me that he was on the road about two weeks every month. 

    He did not talk to anyone for most of his stay, but he seemed deeply troubled all during his retreat here.  Not in an agitated way, but it was how he presented himself.  His eyes cast down, hunched over and his face was drawn.   On his last day he wanted to talk to me, so we sat down and had our discussion.  I can’t go into detail, but let’s say that he was responsible for an accident that left another person disabled.  It just happened; a moment of inattention that happens to most of us when we drive and then instantly the tragedy happened.  He does not remember it happening, just the aftermath and the life that he believes he ruined.  It was something that occurred many years ago, but he could not let go of it. 

    He could not forgive himself, even though the family has, knowing that it was just a tragic accident and was not intentional.  He had a lot of ‘if onlys’, but they only made it worse for him.  He could not forgive himself for something where forgiveness was not actually needed.  He did help out the person that was injured in the accident, but it did not bring him peace. Yet he was here seeking it. 

    As he talked, he seemed to see dimly how he was causing himself a great deal of useless suffering because of his inability to forgive himself.  He asks me how he could stop it.  So I only said that the fact that he finally asked himself that question could be a sign that healing was in place and he needed to continue to pray and allow that healing to continue.  For the first time in the two days he was here, he smiled, though it was a tired one. 

    He did tell me that he was coming to understand that there are a great many situations in life that can only be lived through until things fall in place.  He felt that things were starting to come together at last and most likely because the family and the person injured have forgiven him and he is friends with them.  So he left and said that he will try to come back for he felt that something important has happened that he could not put his finger on.  I think in some way he named it, but not on a completely conscious level. 

    I did not feel frustrated over his situation for I believe that things do ‘settle’ if we allow time to do its work and to seek to make amends the best we can.  This young man was doing that and perhaps that is what allows things to settle, when we simply say “yes’ I did it” and allow life, grace, and God to slowly lead and heal.  It is not as passive as it sounds, but to be aware of one’s inner life on a deep level.

    To forgive one’s-self can be one of the most difficult hurdles in life.  Unless this is done all we can do is keep picking at ourselves or seek to run from it.  Neither leads anywhere, but just another circle around a well worn track.


  2. Well, 2017's version of UM's "BlackLight Costume Contest Valentine's Day Dance and Rummage Sale" has passed and was another smashing success!... Attendance was at an all time high (no doubt helped along by the Chief Inquisitor's Office releasing all of the Inmates residents of the Lurkers Dungeons for this affair), and a fun time was had by all - as witnessed by the fact that the Riot squad was called out 5 times - beating last years record of 4 times - and the National Guard had to be called in at closing time to assist the Sheriff's Department in rounding up the usual suspects....

    Here is how the evening went:

    The party-goers formed up just across the Grand Bridge of Sorrows which spans the Great Outer Moat... With the UM Kazoo and Snare Drum Marching Band leading the way with a rousing rendition of "Louie Louie" The parade kicked off and crossed the bridge to the cheers of hordes of on lookers - and the hungry gaze of Pookie the Moat Monster...The survivors then wended their way down the Grand Concourse, between the Central Administration Complex and the massive Repository Of Lost Postings Complex to a veritable blizzard of confetti, ticker-tape and rotten tangerines, which rained down on us from the many Office Drudges Workers who make this great Establishment work! Normally the Drudges Office Workers would be in the parade - displaying their pride - but the Head Flogger in Charge of them could not find the keys to their shackles in time - so they enjoyed some (un-paid) overtime... The parade then crossed over the Great Outer Moat again - on the Eastern side of the Complex - and into the Great Eastern Artillery Impact Zones, and over to the UM Mortuary where a crew of Zombies, caffeine freaks and "the very nervous" had spent the past three months decorating the Grand Ballroom...

    Marching order for the parade was: The UM Kazoo And Snare Drum Marching Band, The world famous UM Precision Drill Team of Zombie Nixon's and Churchill's, Some random tourists who were shanghaied into marching kind enough to join in the festivities, The ever popular "Inmates of The Dark Oubliette's Choir of Shriekers and Moaners" followed next and as always are a great crowd pleaser, Next came the Contestants for the BlackLight Costume Contest, marching under a portable BlackLight - a truly awesome sight as always ... Next came the people who just wanted to dance, escorted by their fictitious spouses, dates and/or Zombie Escorts - A fan favorite was UM Asylum Member freetoroam who showed up escorted by a gaggle of custom modified Zombies - many creatively put back together with festive duct tape, super glue and bailing wire - The UM Office of Zombie Wranglers is currently studying her handiwork to see if any of the "kit bashed" zombies could be mass produced... Several parade floats were intermixed with the marchers - prominent among them were; A giant rubber duckie, A paper mache replica of the founding of the UM Complex complete with the Neanderthal's Quest to Find the Land of Accordions and a Mount Rushmore style float featuring the likenesses of The Head Mods of UM (The Office of the Grand Inquisitor is currently investigating who leaked the photos of the mods - so if you know who did it ... Probably best to keep silent)... Near the end was a platoon of Chief Floggers who "encouraged" stragglers to keep moving... Bringing up the rear - as always was the most popular entry - the cleaning crew who sweep up all the trash and removed those who "drop out"...

    After arriving at the Ball room, the party started with a quick judging of the BlackLight Costumes (being under the blacklights for so long had started making some of the costumes - and people wearing them - begin to melt, so time was of the essence)... The winners were announced and prizes awarded, however a quick challenge by some of the winners led to a postponement of the announcements pending a full investigation, bribes and the usual amount of moaning, complaining, DNA testing and threats - by the winners... So the prizes were once again herded into their holding cells, where they await the naming of the unfortunate souls lucky winners...

    Once the carnage of the Costume Contest was cleared away, the Dance started. The featured band "The Noggin Knockers" proved why they are the premier band in UM... They started the first set with their popular first recording hit, "I Wanna Smash Your Hand", then they moved into the romantic ballad "Take My Heart (But Give it Back Later I Might Need it)"... They were in fine form and received great applause when they finally quit... They set decibel records three times in their performance, which led to several unplanned "breaks" as their Roadies had to replace several of the musical instruments who had suffered excessive trauma... Two other newly formed member bands provided filler music when the Noggin Knockers took their breaks - they were the all female band "Lizzie Borden's Step-Kids" and the Punk Rock/Skiffle band "Why Should I tell You?" (At least that's what they said when asked what their name was)... Both bands were loud and fun to dance to, and neither one attacked the audience more than twice...Special thanks goes to the UM Chapter of the World Disaster Relief Organization - who were on hand as always - for minimizing casualties and providing hearing protection for those members who could afford it...

    At the stroke of Midnight the Judges announced the winners of the Fictitious Spouse and/or Significant Other(s) beauty pageant... Below is a photo taken of the "Queen" and "King" of the Ball, on the landing just at the entrance to the Ballroom... The strapless, very risque gown certainly raised some eyebrows - and the Queens gown was rather daring as well.... Congrats to the winners!



    The Rummage Sale (a new event this year) will be held over the next three days, until all of the items left behind by partiers as they fled the Sheriff's Posse - and the odd bit dropped by the Zombie Dates - are sold... So come on down to the UM Morgue and Ball room and find a great deal on abandoned trash priceless relics of this years event!

    During the closing ceremonies, the Chief Mod announced that the UM Office of the Chief Inquisitor would be available to help make bail for members who were "a little short"....

    The success of this years UM BlackLight Costume Contest, Valentine's Day Dance and Rummage Sale has led the Planning committee to look eagerly forward to next years festivities  - Members who would like to volunteer to be on the planning committee should report to the Committee's Headquarters located in the third sub-basement of the Giant Trash Compactor building near the Quicksand factory... Remember - if not enough people volunteer... You just might GET volunteered!...

    The next event planned by our evil overlords kind and caring Mods is this years UM Tricycle Race and Demolition Derby, next month... So get your favorite tricycle ready and write those wills!... See ya!

  3. Serenity Moonlight: Therian Life

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     Hello, hello yes, I am back finally ( even though no one probably looks forward to me posting stuff on her ). But I am back and I have had some fun since I've been off this site, not saying that this site is fun to look at. I have had some troubling times too, especially with school, but I won't go into that. My therian life has been going well, except for the explaining. I have had to ekplain to my mom and cousin what a therian is, my mom gets it pretty well and is chill with me being a therian but I will have to explain more to her as time goes on. My cousin says it makes no sense which makes me pretty sad, and she believes in Greek gods and that they control the things that they empower, so me and my friend will have to explain more to her, mainly my friend because he has been a therian for 11 years. There is just an update on my life, and my therian life. Signing out ~Serenity Moonlight

  4. Camping videos

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    We do a lot of camping in the mountains of Arizona

    We see bears all the time.


  5. We are all born with the emotion mindset.  Babies are nothing but emotion.  They are inherently selfish and concerned entirely with their own needs.  Once into young adulthood (and with adequate upbringing), the other aspects of their minds may begin to gain dominance, or they may remain an Emotion person forever, albeit a more mature one.

    Emotion people can be discovered by their description of the world based on their internal feelings.  They describe things in such ways as "I"m happy.", This feels right!", "Ehh, I don't know, I'm a little iffy on that".  Their entire thing is empathy, both giving and receiving.  To them, facts and figures are interesting, and authority exists symbolically, however, first and foremost, they are instinctual and will tend to go with their "gut feeling" in a conflict.

    Many police officers are emotion people.  CEO's as well.  People in positions that require passion, energy, and enthusiasm, attract emotion people.  They are the leaders of a group, although not necessarily the most useful or effective members of it.

    The problem with having all that energy and drive is that emotion people tend to move in straight lines, and have trouble understanding binary things, like "No" as answers.  To an emotion person, "no" just means that haven't successfully conveyed their line of thought to you.  Consequently, they will try again, and again, and possibly a third time and more.  Walls don't stop emotion people; you have to deflect them.

    If a child is playing drummer with a spoon and pan, and an exasperated parent demand that they stop, the child will stop for a time, and shortly thereafter, resume.  This is not because the child is inherently disobedient, but rather because the child is following their emotional mandate.  Have fun, check.  Obey parent, check.  Return to having fun, check.  And experienced parent knows that, to stop the child from doing what they are doing, they will tell the child to go play ball outside.  They will deflect the behavior.

    So, if you are trying to reign in one of these overgrown puppies of personality, there's a few steps:

    1) Empathy:  The most important thing to an emotion person is that their feelings are understood.  You need to start off right away with an empathetic response.  It doesn't have to be sincere, just empathetic. 

    "I know, that's so frustrating, It makes me angry too."

    2) Flip:  Emotion people are not stupid.  They know they can't get everything they want.  But you already gave them a treat by empathizing, so they are better prepared for the "flip"; the part where you tell them the exact opposite of what they want to hear.  And, 99% of the time, the flip will be in the form of "But", or "However"

    "But, we just don't have the resources to do that project right now."

    Now, here's something interesting about the "flip":  it is time sensitive.  If you give the flip within a single normal musical beat of the cadence of your speech, the emotion mind will think you aren't really understanding the importance of their message.  Alternatively, if you pause 3 beats, that's too long, and the emotion person will begin worrying.  They might even interrupt the silence with a "But what?!".  A two-beat pause is just enough to give them a sense that you are sincere, but not so much they get worried.

    3) Deflect:  Here is where you give emotion person a new target.  It is extremely important to not give specific responsibility to any given task at this point.  What you are trying to do here is set up a situation where the emotion mind of the listener is going to convince itself to take action.  If you tell the emotion person that they specifically have to do something other than what they are complaining about, it won't register as a priority for them.

    "Right now, the Johnson contract is taking up our time.  If we can nail that down, maybe we can free up some resources for something else". 

    By doing it this way, the emotion person brain is now seeing a new path: If I help nail that down, I can get what I want.  For better or for worse, that is how they assign priority.  The only difference is that the path they will now follow is one you guided them to.

    Of course, everyone is different, and emotion people are definitely in that category.  It isn't quite so simply as giving them as simple compound sentence and being able to control their actions.  However, by understanding the process through which they process information, you are more capable of giving them information that they can understand as "real" with a minimal amount of effort.  And that is what attracts people to others, that's what makes them think "Gee, this person really speaks to me".  As an emotion person increasingly trusts another, through these subtle manipulations of their mindsets, they become easier to control.

  6. No matter if you're single or attached, chances are you will go on or have gone on a blind date at some point in your life.  Keep in mind these tips if you are in such a situation again.   

    Things to do on a blind date

    1. Bring 20 or so candles into the restaurant. During the meal, get up & arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.
    2.Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
    3.Repeat every third third word you say say.
    4.Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
    5.Order a bucket of lard.
    6.Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.
    8.Refuse to communicate in anything but mime for the entire evening.
    9.Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.
    10.Take a break & go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date, with a straight face, "They need to air out."
    11.Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.
    12.Save the bones from your meal & explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

  7. Debs

    Latest Entry

    The saying goes...the higher trees get more wind. Well,.let me tell's not the wind that bothers is the items carried by the wind that is getting me under. 

    I tend to give the benefit of the doubt to most of the situations I come across, and I try to the best of my ability to be fair and just in my actions. Tonight I am sad, I was just sad. 

    People I have not wronged in any way is spreading vicious rumours. So bad that It could ruin my marriage.  The marriage I am not worried bout cause it's not true,(the rumours) and I am honest with my partner about the rumours,  but I am seriously doubting the integrity of human kind.

    I hate that feeling of absolute sadness that has filled my soul. My brain tells me to get angry and fight these allegations with fire, the joke of the matter? Rumours started when I got the promotion... And the dude that is part of the rumours is not the one that recommended me for the promotion.  Irony...

    So yeah...I fell into this :td: feeling and I can't shake it. I am suppose to feel:angry: and take this bull by the horns, yet all I feel is sad and disgusted with human kind.

  8. simplybill
    Latest Entry

    I woke up this morning feeling worthless. That's the price you pay at times when you're a recluse such as I am and there's no one around to offer encouragement. One becomes acclimated to loneliness in the same way one becomes acclimated to the cold of winter or the heat of summer, but today was different. I felt as though my foundation had disappeared from under my feet and I was looking up from inside a deep pit. As I lay there in bed, I contemplated quitting. I searched my soul, and I couldn't think of anything in my life that was worthwhile to other people, I felt like nothing I did was making me a better person.  

    I counted the cost of what my life would be like if I simply gave up and let hopelessness devour me. First off, of course, I'd start drinking again; then I'd neglect my home and my yard and my health, and soon I'd be just another old drunk with empty eyes. I almost said the words: "God, I can't do it anymore. I give up."  

    And even as I prepared myself to say those words, a thought came to me: "Why are you giving up on yourself, when God hasn't given up on you?"  Hmm.... 

    I went downstairs and made coffee, checked out things on the Internet, and slowly got ready to make the 50-mile drive to the 'big city' to run errands and go to Sunday night church. I tried to encourage myself by thinking I'd hear a really good sermon at church that would:  Set  My  Feet  On  A  Mountaintop!!   But those chains of worthlessness weighed me down all the way into town.

    After a haircut, and a visit to Sears to buy a couple of pairs of blue jeans, I went to the Walmart near my church. I picked up some cucumbers and bell peppers and balsamic vinegar, and stood in line at the Express Checkout. The cashier was a young black woman, maybe 25 years old, with tightly braided hair, a smooth complexion, and a strong build. But her eyes were sad. The family she was checking out was having a hard time getting their credit card to work, and the line was at a standstill. The cashier waited patiently, without even a hint of annoyance, maintaining her stoic look with those sad eyes. The next people in line also had credit card trouble and the cashier quietly smiled at them.

    When my turn came, I tried to guess her accent. South Africa? Eritrea? Her nametag said, 'Kang', a name I'd never seen before. As she began scanning my groceries, she picked up the cucumbers and asked "Cucumbers?". I said yes, then she picked up the bell peppers, and started to look at the picture chart. I said, "Bell Peppers". By now I was overwhelmed with curiosity. I asked quietly, "So, where are you from?" She looked at me with just a little bit of apprehension, and said "South Sudan".  

    The Sudanese have endured centuries of civil wars and military coups, starvation, and slavery. In recent years, three million people have been displaced, six million people are at risk of starvation, barrels of gasoline with detonators attached are dropped from helicopters into villages of grass huts, and slave-trading is rampant. It's a terrible place to live, and the outside world has done little to intervene.

    Kang has won the lottery: she has come from a living hell to beautiful, peaceful Iowa and has a real job, nice clothes, and the glorious freedom of America. With all the weight of those thoughts racing through my mind, I looked at her and said, "Congratulations!!"  

    I'm not exaggerating when I say that Kang was transformed before my very eyes. She appeared to be a little girl, her eyes brightened as though they were lit from within, she looked at me and said, "Thank you!!"  As she handed me my grocery bags, she looked directly in my eyes, smiling with joy, and said "Thank you!!" a second time.

    Needless to say, I drove home with tears in my eyes. This mountaintop feels pretty good.   

  9. SIGMA News

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    It was a few years ago. Enough that I can't exactly remember how it looked. It was a very old house, made out of wood. It was dangerous to have any sort of event, as the danger of the building caving in was extreme, but my family, being from the deep south, didn't take that precaution. 

    It was somebody's birthday party, which very conveniently fell near Halloween. So, we rented out an old, abandoned house, and used it like a walk-through horror attraction. We picked a few family members to put on masks and hide behind certain furniture.  It was fun while it lasted, but what would happen the next day, was not a laughing matter. 

    Three people went to clean up after the party the next day. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I know that one of them was walking in front of a bookshelf when it tipped over, crushing their leg and pinning them to the ground. They were okay, but our family has never been in or near that house again. 

  10. starringsuzanne

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  11. Unexplained symptoms

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    I want to write down an experience that may be paranormal. It mystifies me still and more information has eluded me. 

    So to start out, I had this odd dream where the earth by my house cracked open. Well several dreams would show the same crack getting bigger, so in the last dream it showed the crack several inches wide and several feet deep. Well in the last few dreams there is also this odd spider. It's orange and teal. The back is a pyramid with the under side of the spider having a stinger. This stinger is more of a spike.

    Okay whatever right. It's just a dream. So I end up moving to a different city. After a couple of years, I dream of this same exact spider. In the dream it stabs me through the hand. Then I kill it. No biggie, just a dream. So I wake up go through my week and start having these odd episodes. (Actually part of the reason I was gone for awhile) In my mind I was different phrases being repeated. My body would heat up and I would have this paralyzing feeling.  The more I fought it, the worse the symptoms would get. Afterwards I would have a severe headache and would feel a bit weak. For awhile it would happen once to twice a week. Soon I noticed that I couldn't remember certain things. Apparently I did this or that, or I would forget the subject we were just talking about.

    During one of these episodes, I had suddenly decided to imagine a cave of crystals and the symptoms immediately stopped. I felt my mind was safe in my little cave.

    After researching, all I can come up with is that it may have been some odd seizure. So what do you guys think?

  12. preacherman76
    Latest Entry

    I've kinda become consciously aware of some things lately. These are things I'd normally keep to myself, but I get this strange vibe that there are some folks who might benefit from hearing about it. Have you ever tried to just observe yourself? What I mean is have you ever examined what you think about over a whole day? The things you spend time worrying about? Or being angry about? Being happy about? I think if you had, what you'd find is you spend the vast majority of your time chasing phantoms. At least that's what I've discovered about myself. We are either worrying about things we have no control over, or trying to put out the fires of our past.

    Rarely are our brains even present. When you really think about it, what kind of way is that to live? Why forsake the beauty in each individual moment for things that either no longer even exist, or there isn't anything we can do about it anyway? How much more could a person accomplish if they were in fully consciousness in every moment, instead of shooting or dodging little arrows from or towards things that might as well not even exist?

    If you are feeling me at all here. If there is anything I've said that strikes a cord with you. I'd like it if you could just do a little experiment. Close your eyes, heck even lay right down on the floor and imagine you are dead. You literally have 3 minutes left of conscious thought. after that it is over, you will be no more. Really try and sell it to yourself. Visualize it.

    What do you do with that 3 minutes? I don't claim to have any idea what it is you'd find important in those last 3 minutes. Maybe you'd spend your time trying to connect with God. Maybe you'd want to share with family. What ever it is you'd decide to think about, chances are you'd easily find the things that are truly important to you. More importantly you'd know the things that are not.  You'd find the things you should have had your full attention on this whole time.

    Congratulations you are now resurrected. Its a miracle. And now with a new sense of what's important. With the wisdom that often never occurs to us till we lay on our death bed.   Your second chance starts right now. Your path is now much more clear. But will you walk it?


    Thanks for reading folks

    God Bless



  13. The republicans fought Obama's agenda where it diverged from their principles. I fully expect the Dems to do the same and when it is done on real principles, I have no problem with it.  We are 340 million, very diverse human beings with different needs and wants.  The reason this country became so successful is that we have, before now, always managed to find common ground.  Even when the Republicans began the long fight against Obama, it was AFTER he humiliated his former opponent, McCain, by telling him publicly that the campaign was over and that HE won.  He never ONCE after that, attempted to reach across the aisle and make common cause with them on anything.  Even then, they gave him 7 of his critical cabinet picks without fighting because that was always the tradition.  That wasn't done out of respect for Obama, it was in respect for our country and its new president.  For the next two years at least, Trump has the power to make huge strides in changing policy.  I said it right after the election and inauguration, Trump will only remain president for four years if he keeps his promises as best he can and is relentless in making his case daily to his supporters.  If they ever turn against him in any substantial percentage, the Republican elite will shank him like Brutus.  Count on it.  McCain and Graham are already sharpening the blades.  Until that happens, though, Trump will beat every attempt to stop him OR even to cause him to change tack.  The hystaters on the Left will pull out all the stops.  He will be investigated by large numbers of individuals and any slightest bit of potential dirt will be magnified and shouted from the electronic rooftops and it will do ZERO good for their cause.  Trump is untouchable as long as he does his best to keep his promises.

    I said all that to say this.... this behavior is unprecedented in the era of modern communication.  UNPRECEDENTED.  I think Trump should, regardless how nasty the SC nominee is treated, reach out in a reasonable way and offer the senators who are up for re-election some positive legislation for the country that can help them at home in 2018.  If he does that early, he should be able to expect some help from them on his agenda.  If they refuse then he should not look back and he should push his agenda without apologies.  He is not Satan or Hitler, he is a guy who is phenomenally placed to make a real difference for Americans who believe in traditional values without HATING our fellow citizens who are not comfortable with them.  America is changing and it will be dramatically different within a few decades.  If the agendas of the Left and its extreme fringes attempt to force their ideology on the other half of the nation, if they refuse to work peacefully with the current government and especially if they become violent in their protestations, this great nation could easily fall into a new Civil war.  It won't be about enslaved racial groups or State's Rights.  It will be fought in every state, county and town.  It will split families.  It will be a bloody conflict between those who are willing to work and produce, versus those who simply demand from the public treasury.  One side will be armed and know very well how to use them.  The other will depend on law enforcement and the national military to enforce the whim of a rogue government they have managed to set in place.  The hystaters will fail miserably and many citizens all over the country will die.  In the aftermath, our nation will be severely weakened but this may be what is necessary to bring the Progs back into reality and back to a place where they are willing to help build and stop tearing down.  I pray we can avoid this but I see no way any longer. 

    I'd like some feedback if anyone can do and remain civil.  Thanks!

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  14. StarMountainKid
    Latest Entry

    InterGalacticNews: Today the Zarvorians have barred the Galian Slime Eel species from entering their Sovereignty. President Slovigard stated, “We have enough slime on our planet already. Their religion rejects our God, The Divine Ogilvy, Who every civilized being knows is the only True God of the Universe. And besides, these creatures scare little children with their outlandish dress and appalling eating habits.”

    Odd this comes just as Trump’s immigration ban is ordered. There are some similarities between our President Trump and President Slovigard of Zarvoria it seems. More news of the Galaxy may follow.
  15. You look around as I do you see the madness of the world and feel hopeless then maybe you see someone who stops to give a blanket or food to a fellowman on the street and you feel a warmth over your heart. 

    You ask yourself why can't we all be that way, why is it one man reaches out a hand of love while another holds a dagger. The extremes are exhausting the emotional ride is a rollercoaster. Why is it this way why is there are those that extend love and help while others are so cruel. 

    We blame it on upbringing, environment, the times were in, insanity and even  the devil . We try to rationalize. 

    And all of these things are correct they are tools but not the source.

    From what I have been made to understand I am going to tell you.

    In the beginning of which there never was, an existence was there,  imagine if you will a giant bright globe and inside of this globe was life itself, wisdom, compassion,  knowledge, understanding, love and creation. It pulsated like a heart it's very essence was pure and joyful. And this is the one that is called the Father.  Now, the father like a cell could divide pieces of himself  because life and creation existed within him and he could birth other creations like himself  having life and knowledge and wisdom etc.  

    Therefore heaven was an expansion of the father all life was an expansion of him. Creation begin to expand and so all heavenly beings and bodies came into being and it was beautiful. After sometime there some beings came into creation and they were intelligent and beautiful these were the original sons of light and there were many of them.  

    Now, they were all connected to the father by origin and didn't stray far but some of these beings did stray far from the fathers light and disconnected themselves in ambition and self amusement and a longing for what we would call independence...for all of them ,though connected to the father and  like the father had an awareness of self 

    It came that some of the sons of light had a longing to create as well to expand to create in their own image not of the fathers image but in their own. It was in their sense of independence that they wanted to expand, out of their chosen  disconnection to the father is where they found their desire to create. 

    These ones though they still were of the origins of light, their light became dim and darkened in their disconnect and desire. Let us make man in our image and they and they will be our own creation. 

    The father was well aware of this plan and knew it would be in error to create out of arrogance instead of letting the expansion of creation happen naturally. (Hence the word sin means to be without. Remember this)

    Upon the face of this place  they hovered and decided it would be here in this place that they would make  what they so desired. 

    They expanded creation  and in error they brought forth a being something  like themselves and different from the ones (animals)already here. It possessed a deep inner knowledge of self it had a higher spirit than the other beasts of creation it was a pitiful and marvelous creation in that it was a being of light trapped inside an earthbound  body.  A soul of light  of  trapped in an earthbound suit. With knowledge and understanding it stood up on two legs. In inferiority it was a slave to its creators. 

    Now there came turmoil among  those creators over who was the most important and should be in control over the being and who's creation it really was. A division came between them and there was envy and and a tug of war ,  one became god and one became known as the the serpent (seraphim) or the illuminated one  and one became the lord god. And each one of these had those that pledged allegiance to them. 

    The created man became a pawn caught in the middle of a brutal vying for ownership and lord over him. 

    The father knew that these sons of light were now figuratively sons of darkness and he as well knew that a creation had been made in error "without" his essence without him. So it had therefore been created in sin (without). 

    The father disconnected the sons of light has but between themselves and the father was now permanent they could not return to the father as they had contaminated themselves with darkness and would be rejected by the " immune" system of the father lest it would disrupt the entire order of the nature of the father and contaminate all that was pure good and righteousness. 

    Now the father took pity on the created being because he knew it has some of his own light within it as well he knew it has darkness within it from its creation.  It had  self awareness and free will  and yet it was bound  like a caged animal to know suffering pain and death because it was created in error, through no fault of its own. 

    The tree of knowledge was revenge it was  impregnation by  the the lord, the illuminated one or  also known as the "Serpent" (Seraphim) God.   in revenge and for control and  to place death to the being he couldn't claim as his own.This is why Eve States that with the help of the lord I have begotten a man (boy child.) and  why Cain was a murderer though Abel his twin took to the light instead of darkness (free will).  As well this is why Adam States that Seth is of his own flesh with he did not state with Cain nor Abel......

    {I shall continue this journey with you tomorrow, there is so much to reveal to you that I have been given or that I have received  over many  years, things that are important, truths, that those in control of religion and the sacred books,  can no longer suppress from you. Be assured I will return tomorrow, to continue }






  16. Kismit
    Latest Entry

    Most days I walk. I walk heaps. I walked past a letter box that read, No circulars please.... I wished I had a marker pen so I could finish the sentence with something like, I'm Vegan. My mind wanders even more than I do.


  17. Since there's so many things still weighing on my mind I felt part 2 was needed. Most of this has been copy and pasted from Facebook just to save retyping it all.


    To start where the last blog left off, I text the team leader aka support person, Hey Matt its Casey, I can't come in today I've been throwing up on and off all night sorry. To which 5 hours later I get the reply of Can you bring your shirt in Friday after 12. Cheers for giving it a go. I politely answered will do. Now the problem I have there is what if I wasn't going to be quitting later that day? I just got fired for calling in sick. I truthfully had been sick, plus a little dehydrated, highly stressed to the point I was shaking (its Summer here so wasn't cold).


    Here are some of the things we got told to say: Was Tell people they were going to book appointment about solar. Talk to them like they were a puppy or kid.


    IN BOSS'S EXACT WORDS: Basically your job is to pay for my kids Christmas gifts.

    Make eye contact and best way to get a sale is look them in the eye like you want to make passionate love to them, the older guys love it when the females do it and almost always works. Flirt like you do at a bar. That made me feel so gross

    Lie to them about how many appointments have been booked and how they'll miss out if they don't book. Oh but that info doesn't leave room.

    You're a short little S**T aren't you? Boss said, passing it off as a joke.

    Don't sign old people up its a waste of time, they can't pay the system off in 3/5 years.

    We had a chart that says this week x amount of sales you must hit that went up and up

    We got told to knock on do not knock doors, but sheet had a box to tick if it was do not knock. I did not knock on any do not knocks.

    To "verbally grab them by the throat" or lie to them in order to get a sale.


    I sat down 8:30 Tuesday (aka first night after work) night to check emails and my left knee was moving side to side on its own while my leg was straight. At one point it started to slip to the point I couldn't stand up yet, unless I wanted to risk it dislocating. Could not eat dinner, without wanting to throw up. Still feeling like that after food.


    Last night walked into Michaels (parents) and instantly broke down, told them what happened. Was so bad I hugged (asked her for one) and chatted to mother in law.  I was shaking so badly 


    Then this morning I had a status up about how much pain I was in (muscle and endometriosis), mentally how drained I was, how I had still been crying on and off and about sun burn. My nasty aunty (both have said so many nasty things in past)'s husband basically accused me of wanting attention and told me all work places are like that. They're not.

    After that I blocked both from inboxing on Facebook, unfollowed and all statuses they cannot see. I cant unfriend them without there being a crap storm. 2 things I will say though is 1 I told dad and Michael I will not push them into going to events that those 2 nasty pieces of work have, unless its for nana. 2 I'm done with them for good, that was the straw that broke the camels back.

    After all that this morning I was sitting on Michaels (he was asleep) bed trying to hold myself together. I've learnt I'll never be good enough in that aunty's eyes, instead I copied her by getting engaged not long after her. I'm a bridezilla because I didn't want anyone wearing sweats to engagement party are just couple things she said. Also that I shouldn't spend any money since I said about saving for a house.

  18. Shade

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    Okay so the weirdest thing happened to me today. I was painting a color wheel.


    I had to crop it so it can fit

    Anyways. a couple minutes after I was done I heard that wierd sound that everybody was freaking out about. The one that you hear coming from the sky and it sounds like trumpets or a giant metal table scooting across the floor.  It didn't go on for 20mins like the videos on YouTube it only was approximately 10+ seconds. This was around 8-10pm my phone was dead so I couldn't put it up immediately.

    (Just go search up a video on YouTube "wierd sounds coming from the sky" if you don't know)

    The only other person in the house was my brother and he was wearing headphones.

    I don't have anything near my house that could make that sound tho. No trains, no highways, no construction.




  19. eviltrump.png

    Manfreddy, all those things you say about Trump are true. He is going to cause the world markets to collapse, going to ban the internet, and going to imprison all foreigners including those not in America, basically the whole world will be in prison under his regime.


    Also let us not forget he wants to take away healthcare even from those who don't have any.


    Under Donald Trumpsfield there will be mass torture for prisoners of war. All those poor journalist under his War on Media will be stripped of their first amendment rights and kicked out of the White House press room during the middle of a nuclear winter.


    And to top it off after he depopulates the planet he will totally dismantle our defense industry and even our armed forces. There will be trillions of soldiers without jobs and quadrillion munition factories will have to lay off all their workers including those in Mexico.


    He is a charlatan who claimed he can bring back Jobs. But I am here to tell you Steve Jobs is dead and Trump cannot actually perform resurrections.


    I also know the reason why so few people were actually at the inauguration. Trump supporters, or Trumpheads as they are known, are actually inbred cannibals and had to eat each other because his transition team is so bad they did not even plan for having enough taco trucks to feed the masses.


    Donald Dump is a joke and instead of focusing on issues that matter like Kim Kardasian he would rather make threats against Kim Jong-un.


    Finally believe it or not your president (not mine) is a paid actor because as we all know reality shows are scripted. I even have proof. Just google The Apprentice. I think it was a pottery contest and every time someone finished using the kiln he would say, "You're fired."


    I also think all those pottery pieces were Made in Indonesia or Kenya along with his clothes line. And the hypocrite had the gall to say the same thing about Obama!

  20. This is my first attempt at making an audio creepypasta.  Hope you enjoy


  21. third_eye
    Latest Entry

    The index so far

    1) pocket of poems ~ 10 poems

    2) pocketful of poems ~ 10 poems

    3) a pool of poems ~ 10 poems

    4) an eye of poems ~ 10 poems

    5) a shadow of poems ~ 10 poems

    6) a petal of poems ~ 10 poems

    7) a painting of poems ( updated September 27 2015)


     ~ Shorts and Rags


  22. Short Stories

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    When I was a teen, me and my family bought a modest-sized house in a quite neighborhood on the outskirts of New Albany, Ohio. The house was in rough shape, a real fixer-upper. But Mum said the house had "potential" and we spent most of the summer renovating the outside of house. Replacing old boards and re-plastering the walls, but what struck me as odd was that the outside of the house had 12 windows in total, but I only ever counted 11 inside. I brought this up to my Dad, "Son, you know these old houses, patched and rigged beyond recognition, that window is probably behind the shower now or something." He told me. I didn't pursue the question any further, my parents already though I focused too much on the trivial things in life.

    By the time August rolled around we had fully moved in, me, my Mum and Dad and my younger sister. My room was on the second floor, near the back of the house, which gave me a great view of our back yard and my Mum's garden, or what was left of it, for the chill early fall air had killed off most of the flowers. But Mum was persistent and still tried to nudge the flowers into life. I was busy reading one of new books when I happened to look up and notice one of my sister's "My Persnickety Pony" dolls on my shelf. I sat my book down and when over to remove the doll. "Sally!" I called, "Come get your stupid horse out of my room!" I heard my sister long before I saw her, she sounded like a herd of elephants when she ran. "Mrs. Crabapple there you are." She said as I handed her the horse. ""Mrs. Crabapple" needs to learn that she doesn't belong on my shelf Sally." I said as I pointed to my shelf and the replica skull "Mrs. Crabapple" was next to when I found her. Then I realized that the shelf was too high up for Sally to have placed the doll. "Hey, uh Sally..." But before I could ask her how she had pulled that off, she had ran back to her room.

    I tried to rationalize how she could of put the doll up there, but I couldn't think of anything. There's no way Dad would have let her drag a ladder upstairs, and my bed was too far away from the shelf for her to stand on it. I'm overthinking this. I though to myself, and soon the event was out of my mind. The next few weeks passed without much incident, until one late September day when I was out front raking leaves when a couple of local kids came riding up on their bikes, they were about my sisters age. "Hey, can Sally come out and play?" One asked me. "No, I'm sorry but Sally isn't home, she had a doctor's appointment today." I told them. The second kid pointed at the house, "Your lying, I can see here right there in the window!" She said. I turned and looked where the kid was pointing. The window at the far right of the house, the one that didn't lead anywhere. "There's no one in that window, it doesn't go anywhere". I told them. "Sure there's someone in it, they have long blond hair, like Sally!" The first kid said. "She looks sad, is she in trouble?" The second kid asked. I looked again at the window, but still didn't see anything. The kids soon rode off, I guess no longer in the mood to play. I'd be lying if that little event didn't give me the chills. After I was done raking the leaves I headed inside to read for a bit, when I got to the top of the stairs, I looked off towards where the window should have been on the inside of the house, but there was only a wall. Me and my sister's room were across the hall from each other, on opposite ends of the house, if there is enough space for my sister's room to be at the front of the house, could it be possible that...

    "Dad I think our house has a hidden room!" I told my Dad at dinner that night. "Pfft, and I'm the Duke of Brookshire. Son, I know every inch of this house, there are no hidden rooms." He said in his usual dismissive tone. "But Dad, today these kids said they saw a little girl in that window, that darkened one." I tried to explain to him. "Son, their kids, kids say all kinds of things. Really, a little girl in the window? You need to lay off of the horror flicks." He said. That night I laid in my bed thinking things over, and I decided that first thing in the morning, I was going to open that hidden room, and prove to my Dad that I was right.

    Once my parents had left for the day, and Sally was off at her playdate, I went and got my Dad's old toolbox and started to work. The end of the hall was covered in wallpaper, but with a little probing I was able to find an old metal latch beneath the wallpaper. I pryed away the wallpaper and found an old oak door, bolted shut and flush with the surrounding wall. "Yes! I was right." I proclaimed to myself. I carefully unhinged the latch and pulled the door open, it was surprisingly heavy and creaked and groaned with resistance. What I found inside made my blood run cold, the room was done up in pastel colors, and filled with girly flourishes. A layer of dust covered the room, and there, in the tiny bed lay a little skeleton. She was dressed in a light-colored gown and tiara. Bits of hair still clung to the diminutive skull, and one bony hand clutched a crayon, worn down into a nub. On the wall, scrawled in crayon was the words "I was a bad girl, and they left me, I was a bad girl, and they left me..."    


  23. first off I got to say 2016 was a hell of a year and in my opinion horrible. It wasn't the politics or anything else it was just that so many people died this year. Especially people I admire such as David Bowie. I always listened to his songs on the radio when I was a child and I liked them growing up and knowing he died makes me feel sad. I liked him especially since he collaborated with Arcade Fire which was awesome how they played Wake up, which also is one of my favorite bands. I just hope 2017 doesn't have so many deaths this time.