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Posted by LizFL , 17 November 2009 · 123 views

Ok, so back in the house I moved out of. This time with the boyfriend. Still working at the same place and barely making bills. still trudging along at school one class at a time. So tired of life. I mean, I've got a great family, a great love life, a roof over my head, and a job. but there is no adventure. no spark. I am hopeless. even food, I get so tired of it. I love to eat, but I just want something other than beef pork or chicken (that I am not allergic to- no shellfish). It just seems life is so stale. what happened to finding night exciting, or to the romance of being under the stars. It used to be, I could find something special anywhere. I could find romance in every word, there was adventure around every corner. what changed? I'm not knocking what I have, but I miss the me that appreciated the little things, that enjoyed life. I was told shortly after meeting my boyfriend by him that I had the amazement of a child. What happened. I'm going nuts. even the less often stuff is ordinary. I go to sea world it's the same fish, the same music, the same rides. It's ok I guess. I honestly think I am going to die real soon. My head has been hurting really bad lately. Right in the spot where my cavernous angioma is. It hurts so bad sometimes, and I don't know what changed on that front, or what could have happened. It was discovered in 2006, but was old. I dont even know if its life threatening, just what the web says, which is yes and no. I do know its painful. The only difference from when it was fine and now is I did get the swine flu vaccine, but why would that affect this? yet it is the only difference. my blood pressure is low (despite stress) I'm still not smoking anymore, some weight gain but not mega (though i feel like it). I really dont think the vaccine would have made it pop, but I dont know. Hey, it's something out of the normal though, and it's painful, so I will get it checked. I just want to live life again. see wonder and joy in things. To live each day like my last. What else is on my mind to put into the giant mega paragraph of typos? Hmmm.... I keep getting worse in the eyes of the boyfriends mom. I did not answer an email from him within 24 hours about a schedule that will not come out till the 25th. So my BF told her that, now he is always "Defending" me. scuse me for working lady. I will quit and mooch off your son  if it will make you happy. I'd rather not fry chicken anyway. Honestly, she just never liked me. so I the bf was ready to break up with me (for not having a schedule to pass on to his mom), the day after our 2 years together. so drama drama drama. we think we will be fine now. we shall see. I get so tired of his family not approving of me. WHy? I am nice to Thomas. I dont fight with thomas much, I do not do drugs, or even smoke anymore. I dont cheat.  I dont lie. I try to take care of him. I  work. I go to school. I managed to master the art of birth control. I truely love him for who he is and he loves me for who I am in return. when the family is not involded, there is so little drama. dont get me wrong, we havefought about other stuff, but rarely as neither of us want to fight. we both want happiness and love. then they step in and mess it all up. my family is far from perfect too, but they accept and love him with open arms and hearts... I gotta go now. I'm dozing at the keyboard. thanks.




Damn sister i feel you,,,,
my honest advise to you is dat if you realy feel that there is no spark i think it is time to move, as for the mother or his family getting involved in your issues or they become trouble in your realationship bringing more problems please "TAKE A HIKE"...
you cant be entertaining problems that can be easily eliminated coz the bible says, that the days of man are full of troubles so why you entertain in more troubles than the troubles that you have arleady been promised>>???
.....1stly: sit down and talk about it
.....2ndly: asses the situation if it changes
.....3rdly: if not "take a hike" there are lot of fishes in the sea
.....4thly: I'm available B)
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