There are many obstacles that have to be faced in order for growth and healing to occur. My own background is both a help and a hindrance, for all of my strengths come from it as well as weaknesses’. Failures can be an important part of the journey for they are what lead to greater self knowledge along with the necessity to develop patience towards the slow often laborious process the spiritual path is about. Not too many shortcuts, if any.
It is about one step at a time, getting up when needed, along with self forgiveness and a form of stubbornness that will not allow leaving the path, or the call of grace. It is not about good feelings, though they can be helpful, but about dealing with those times of life that wake us up and push the process of making choices based on what we believe to be right, or to give up and seek to escape the endeavor that I believe that life is all about. It can seem easier to leave the path, but in reality it is not.
St. Paul uses the simile of running a race and the need for stamina, which is built up over time and use. Things are not what they seem. Our lives and choices are important, for they have a deeper and wider affect that most realized. Seeking, striving and the search for truth are I believe a response to a call that comes from the very center of our being.
To run from this process invites chaos and death into our lives, both inner and outer….we choose, to walk a path towards truth is to break away from the deep often unconscious influence of whatever time and culture we live in. Waking up can be a painful journey, but one we are called to. In any case, our individual deaths will be ‘the’ wake up call, for then all truth will be revealed and the seed that is our death will bring forth the fruit of our lives. Whatever fruit we bring forth will be what was truly chosen and freely lived out. Each path has its price and sufferings along the way. One leads to the open mystery of reality, the other to and ever smaller world consisting of only the ‘self’ imprisoned in an narcissistic prison that is self made. The fruit of ones life is seen only by God, none can judge the deep center of another, though we try and I believe we always fail.
An open heart,
one that seeks
is a choice,
though the journey dark
filled with both joy and pain.
The path often hidden,
walking over the void.
To continue is an act of faith,
allowing the heart to expand