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364 Days

Posted by xCrimsonx , 06 December 2011 · 406 views

family loss suicide
It hurts that my heart and mind places sad and angry together...feels like yesterday although Its still hard to believe.  I could not ring Auntie Nin for her Birthday for I know It would be too painful. So close together yet you could not bring yourself to do It 5 days earlier and for that I'm thankful. I'll never forgive myself for deleting the last ever photo I took of you. I still cant believe your gone. So many little things that remind me of you make me smile.,. I tried very hard to not let you in my thoughts before time and my strength is worn out and gone. I cant not cry anymore. The decision has been made, Mudgy and Nin are going their separate ways.,... my thoughts are he could not bare to hear her cry herself to sleep anymore. I could see It In face he was not just angry he is furious of your choice to leave us. If It wasnt for you Phil and the talk we had before you left I would of never learnt how much I need to cherish my family. I feel as if Im spossed to have and write a dramatic revelation of how I feel and what youve left behind, but I cant coz we are all still picking up the pieces! My brother, cricket coach, sparing partner, personal protector a friend. Wished I could of been there for you. I know why.,.but It doesnt make it any easier. You hugged me In my last dream of you and I cherish.,. it every emotion. Being alive constantly reminds me of death and I would of died of a broken heart had I of stayed to watch what Ive now left behind. I dont EVER wanna got back to TC ever again, the only way you'll get me there is in a box, and thats not happening in a hurry.

I'm sorry I didnt clean out the billy when i knew where coming, I was so excited i forgot to, but I did have the goods to burn in it though! Posted Image

"Happy, sad, up and down, the world must still go round, this is it, tis my goodbye forever my heart will cry". 6/12/11

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Incredible. loved it, one moment you are sad and reminded the next taken to a new mountan top.
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Thanks mate!
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