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Words and Noise

Posted by StarMountainKid , 27 February 2012 · 110 views

Words and Noise

(I'm going to finish up the Z&Z stories I didn't finish before, but that's for next time. Right now I want to write about something else.)

When people want a definition for some word they usually go to a dictionary. I do this sometimes, but not very often. I think it's better and more imaginative to have my own definition of words. This may confuse people somewhat, and there is a chance some one else my not even know what I'm talking about, using words that have my own definitions for them,  but I'm ok with that. I'm not sure I care if someone understands what I'm saying, as long as I understand what I'm saying. After all, by talking, who am I trying to please? Myself, mostly, like everyone else.

If other people are confused by what I'm saying, I don't care very much. That's not too important to me. Actually, it's more enjoyable to me when people don't understand what I'm saying. I mean, why should I let them know what I'm thinking about, anyway? My own personal thinking is none of their business in the first place.

Lots of times other people talk to me and I haven't the faintest idea what they're trying to say. Do I really care? No. I just let them jabber on and on, and after a while I'm not really listening to them. When they finally stop talking, and me not understanding or even not even listening, I can usually determine what kind of response they expect by looking at the expression on their faces, so it really doesn't matter if I'd been understanding or listening at all. I just put the appropriate look on my face to match theirs, and everything is good between us.

I use this method often, because I'm slightly deaf. I've played in too many loud rock and roll bands in my life, so my hearing isn't very good anymore. I have the kind of deafness where if there's some ambient noise going on, I can't hear what people are saying. If everything's quiet I hear ok. So, I'm used to studying faces when all of a sudden someone stops yakking and looks at me hopefully for some suitable response to what they've just said.

Sometimes it actually scares me when somebody suddenly stops talking. It's so unusual.  When there's all of a sudden a lot of silence in the room. Silence is uncomfortable for most people. Sometimes even scarey, like I said.  I myself like silence. "Silence is elegant," someone once told me. I agree. I don't make much racket or talk too much, myself. Making a lot of noise is like an insult to this elegant silence.

I like listening better, even when I'm not listening to all the talking. See, even when people are doing all this jabbering and stuff, and I'm sitting there not listening, I'm really trying to listen to the bits of silence in the background.  Even when there's a lot of noise going on, there's still some silence there somewhere. That's what I listen for. It's comforting.

Well, as I started to say in the beginning, I have my own definition for some words. "Love" and "Friendship", for example. My definition for l

Love is: "How good can you make me feel?" I think this is a good definition for that word, if you think about it. I rarely love someone who makes me feel bad, or someone who doesn't make me feel anything. If psychologically and emotionally and physically you make me feel really good, chances are eventually I'm going to love you.

The key thing here is you make me feel good. Even when I do something nice for you, that also makes me feel good, as well. See? So love is all about me feeling good.

Now, my definition for Friendship is: "How well can you entertain me?"  I think this is an accurate definition, too.  I'm not so hot on being friendly with people who bore me, for instance. If someone is fun to be with, pretty much we will end up as friends.

Is this a cynical attitude to have? I don't think so. I think it's mostly just true.

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