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Z&Z Update 14

Posted by StarMountainKid , 01 June 2013 · 293 views

Since I can’t think of any new ideas, I thought I’d post this Zarkor and Zerak roundup. If you don’t know who these characters are, they’re my Space Alien friends. This entry may only be of interest to a very few, if any.  Having personal Space Alien friends is often considered a sign of mental illness, unless, of course, one admits they are fictional characters. I don’t know, they all seem real to me…

Let’s see, Zarkor and Mr. Brain did finally find the secret Vulgarian Outpost in our galaxy (Well, actually it was located in the Small Magellanic Cloud, not a good neighborhood to visit.). (By the way, the Vulgarians are the creatures who created our universe in one of their laboratories.) Mr. Brain was supposed to admonish the Vulgarians for creating this messed-up universe, but instead, when the Vulgarian apologized by complaining about his workload and his boss always telling him to hurry up because they were running over-budget, Zarkor sympathized with the Vulgarian, and in the end they parted friends.

This p’d off Mr. Brain, who was on a quest to try to persuade the Vulgarians to adjust our universe so it would be a more pleasant place to live in. Well, in the end of this Adventure, Zarkor was confronted by a Slime Creature chef in the diner where he first met Mr. Brain. When Zarkor wanted a hamburger and asked how much slime would be in it, the Slime Creature chef said, “Not too much”.

I’m not sure what happened next, as I really didn’t want to know.  

Right now, Zarkor and Cloney are on their adventure exploring the next continent of their private planet. They boated over the ocean in Zarkor’s little boat. When a big storm came up and the boat started to sink, Cloney wanted to man the life-rafts, but all Zarkor brought for this kind of emergency were some pool toys. Luckily, the storm blew over and the boat didn’t sink.

I’m not sure where they are now on the next continent. I do know all Zarkor seemed to have brought along for eating supplies were cup cakes and Cheeze-Doodles. What they’ll discover as they journey ever deeper into that unexplored country I don’t know.

I do know that Zarkor didn’t bring along a compass, so they’re probably wandering about aimlessly. This is to be expected, as Zarkor is not good at planning ahead. He just uses his intuition, which he believes to be infallible, and relies on his Dumb Luck Implant.

Zerak is probably lounging around in his palatial home worrying about Zarkor and Cloney…who knows what Uncle Zebon is getting himself into, probably making shady deals as usual…Professor Schmaltzenberger is still somewhere unknown to me, maybe he returned to Quadropoleous…the Vulgarians are most likely busy creating new universes, trying not to go over-budget…

Ug, I don’t know where he is. He’s usually out there in the Galaxy somewhere fighting evil forces…the pretend-Vulgarians are on their water planet trying to stir up trade for their tailoring business…

Professor Wonderland has gone back to his Dimension where he’s probably still fighting the revolution…the three Donkeys are grazing happily on Zerak’s private planet somewhere...let’s see…the Ringmaster is somewhere I suppose…Globe, who know where that creature is, probably stirring-up trouble someplace…

The Cyberoid Captain and his minions are living quietly on their Metal Planet…the Wizard hopefully has brought Baloon and all his animal friends, including the Cletiopards, the Crycideous Parmidians, the Cytoplistocians, the Calamofibious Decrylions, the Celecious Bi-vertibrates (which are said to be terrible liars and atheists), the Crenatious Fusticians and the feared Viliopods.back back to his own domain…

The Evil Malfacula is supposed to be dead…Mr. Brain has gone back to his assistant bookkeeping job, I suppose still staring out of windows dreaming of heroic adventures…

That Alien with an unpronounceable name is still guarding one of the Seven Pillars of the Universe…that Creature that eats metal is somewhere…the ship that is carrying all those Humanoids is still lost, drifting around the Galaxy, their ship soon to disintegrate from Space Rot…

Zarkor’s favorite punk band, “Depraved Squirming Eels”, have broken up and are suing each other, their manager, their record label and various other hangers-on…Swami Annananda is out in the Galaxy somewhere selling his Guru-isms…

Svasligozvar the Slug is probably still modulating his slime trail to the tune of “How Lovely You Gleam in the Moonlight”, trying to become a contestant on Galactic Idol…the Monsters are still locked-up in their punishment ship somewhere…Professor Zildming, Ph.D., D. Sc., D.D.S., is traveling around giving lectures on his book, “The End of Time as We Know It”, and the revised edition, “The End of Time as We Know It -  However There Is A Way Out Of This”…

Zarkor’s pet Xlanthropod, which is the most dangerous animal in the Galaxy, is probably still tunneling through the superstructure of their Lightship… I’m still on Earth trying to keep all this strait in my head…you are out there doing whatever you are doing…

Umm…well, that’s about it. The Universe, or at least our Galaxy, is humming along as usual. I must add that The Supreme Galactic Council, which is the ruling body for all intelligent life in our Galaxy, is in continuous session, busy passing new and useless Laws, Amendments to Laws and Amendments to Amendments. The usual inept stuff governments do.

Of course, Earthlings don’t know about this Supreme Council thingy. Well, except for me and whoever reads this. Although we must obey the Council’s Laws and Regulations, so far we haven’t obeyed any of them, as we know nothing of them. However, one day an Ambassador from the Supreme Galactic Council will arrive on Earth and wonder why we haven’t been doing so.

We all know ignorance of the law is no excuse, so probably we’ll all be in deep trouble after he’s had a good look-‘round. What due punishment the Council will deem appropriate for our disobedience, ever since we’ve climbed down from the trees, is anybody’s guess.

Hopefully, Uncle Zebon will come to our defense, as I’m such good friends with his nephew Zarkor. Uncle Zebon carries a lot of weight in the hallowed halls of the Council, plus he has private files on most all of the Councilmen, or Council life-forms, so I think he’ll be able to help us.  

So, not to worry too much. When the day comes it might not be too bad for us. The Council is sort of like the U.N.: a lot of ineffectual bluster. The only difference is, the U.N. doesn’t have the Death Ray.

In any event, let’s enjoy the time we have before us. Look on the bright side; we may all be long dead before the Galactic Authorities discover our blissful naughtiness. The possibilities of impending cataclysms don’t bother me too much, anyway. Those kinds of things have been hovering just above our heads 24/7 since time immemorial.

If some global disaster happens in the next minute or so, we can’t say we haven’t been expecting it.





Xanthurion2
Jun 02 2013 12:23 AM
Cool. I hope I'm still here when the Supreme Galactic Council pays a visit.
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