Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums: Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums -> Ordinary's Just Not Good Enough Today

It sure has.

I started slowly pulling away from UM when it started changing. People were less relaxed and such. And I come back to see how things are going, what people are like.

A friend puts it beautifully. "And now like New York City after one gets past all of the glamour and fantasia associated with it - the site's crumbling infrastucture has revealed itself. In the attempts to keep the so called "peace" and "security" our supervisors have effectively destroyed the community aspect of this formerly beloved site."

These were the friends that we thought we were going to keep forever, have a huge UM party with.

It's really disappointing.

A skewed perception was built and everybody bought into it.

I got SO SICK of people being banned for stupid reasons, and the real people who should've been banned getting off scot-free. Is there really any logic there?

This site created family, and just as easily, destroyed it.

I still adore most of you, and I'm hoping to visit more often, maybe stick around. But I dunno if I'll even want to anymore. If it's just going to remind me of what UM used to be like, before it went painfully crazy.

I hope that's not how it works. I really do.

Love (most of) you guys ;]

Peace
ABOTU

I'm sorry,
I can't lie.
How I wasted my life looking through jaded eyes.
Is it anywhere near funny,
How we learned, realized, mistook the truth.
Our thoughts focused on having it all.
When we had nothing.
I'm unimpressed.

We walk along the path,
Our feet meeting the ground in a friendly embrace.
Shorter, shorter, the embraces become.
Quicker pace.
Take a breather.
Embrace longer.
Slow down,
Sit down,
Take a breather.

We violate violently,
Praying to lose this pretending.
Put your thoughts somewhere else,
It's easier, sleazier, how we just run away.

Should we just give up?

She sits alone in the room,
Carved out by lights.
Glares, stares, it's not fair.
What they'd give,
To understand.

He waits in a different world.
Alone and unwanted.
So little air, he can hardly bear this unwitting flare, flair.
What'd he give,
To have someone else's world.

Our world's failing and flailing,
Like a fish out of water.

We're scared and hiding,
Waiting and biding our time.
It's easier this way.

We're bared and colliding,
Wasting and gliding along.
We're needier this way.

Happiness is not a fish you can catch,
Wretched thoughts,
Bounce around.
Over here!
Catch!

Sometimes things don't think,
And our mind's don't make sense.
And we switch the words for effect.

We look for Hope and it's adjoining friends.

We're scared.

We wait, we want, we weren't.

I put my heart on the line,
Rejection, regret, response at every corner.

But my faults are my own,
And I don't regret.
Because I know we're worth more than this.

Moods change,
Feelings change,
Thoughts swing,
But memories always sing.

Happiness may not be a fish you can catch,
But they sell it at Wal-mart.
It's right next to the real friends.
You may not have noticed it.
No,
Not those friends,
Just fool's gold.
See there,
At the very top.
A little hidden from sight.

Buy it,
Have it,
For dinner,
A snack,
A smile.
Like a full stomach,
The warmth overflows.

Get a friend while you're at the top shelf.
It's easier than trying to climb back up.

Happiness is not a fish you can catch.
But in our case,
Who needs fish?

Just feeling very sad about it all. I used to be so superbly addicted, I was here like, every day. And I was going through my comments and I'm thinking "Wow, I made some excellent friends." And now I never am on, and hardly talk to people when I am on. I just miss the family thing that was going on here. I've no idea what made me suddenly just stop coming, but it's no fun.

I'm trying to come back though. If that counts.

♥

What do I have to do God?

What do I have to do to make you stop?
My friends, you let them hurt.
My family, you let them hurt.
My neighbors, you let them hurt.

This, God, this is why people choose not to believe in you.

What kind of God would do that?

I know you're trying to "make them stronger in the end."
Well guess what.
We're not at the end yet.
And til we get there,
We're hurting.

I need something to believe in.
Can you be it?
I want you to be.
I'd love to think that there's someone up there caring.
But... It's not always so easy.

So gimme a sign God.
Send something my way.
Send something to tell me what I can do.
I want to stop their hurting.

God, please.
You said you'd always be with me.
Where are you now?

Conditions were crazy,
And the people lazy.
Westernization from Peter and Catherine failed,
Thus throwing Russia off the trail.
They needed a new leader to hail.
Cue Alexander,
The first of his kind.
The only problem with him,
Y'all know, he had a weak mind.
Later he oppressed
(He be hatin').
Because of Napoleon he obsessed
(There goes emancipation).
Alex died,
Leaving the Decembrist Revolt,
And like lightning,
There was a jolt.
In comes Nicholas I,
A cruel type of man.
He ruled his people
With the back of his hand.
The people say "Yo Nick, you be trippin'"
And he's all "I’m sick of your lip" and
Began to ban books
Locked up people
Claimed they had crazy looks.
To Siberia, 150,000 were exiled,
Left to starve, Into The Wild.
Nick cheered for the three pillars
Nationalism, Orthodoxy, and Autocracy.
He thought liberal ideas were killers,
Things we take for granted like democracy.
Next in the group
We have Alex Two
A reforming, conforming, storm of a dude.
Trying to make everyone happy would not take this czar very far.
Peasants had freedom, but really wanted land.
Liberals wanted constitution, and to elect the legislature in command.
Radicals said loud and clear "It's revolutionary changes we demand!"
And so, poor czar, our Alex man,
Did only what he knew he can.
Reform turned to repression,
And with repression came question,
And the question turned into sessions.
Radicals went to peasants,
Hoping to inspire,
All of their ideas though,
Were thrown into the fire.
Peasants hardly understood,
And sometimes called the cops.
So radicals turned to terrorism.
And peasants went back to crops.
"The People's Will",
A revolutionary league,
Spread word by bombs,
Ruining all sense of calm.
With Alex II assassinated,
His son now took the reign.
And just as history seems to go,
He also took his name.
Alexander III,
Not very original we now know,
Used ideas of Nick I,
People to Siberia to die,
Restored strict censorship,
You know all the rest.
Nick relied on Constantine Pobedonostsev,
The adviser and tutor he trusted best.
Persecuted like crazy,
To be Russian was the only right way.
You couldn't be Polish, Ukrainian, or Armenian,
And there was only one method to pray.
Pogroms were encouraged,
Mobs that killed Jews,
So they had to move to the United States,
And to Russia they sent the news,
"There is no czar in America!"
While all this was happenin',
So came industrialization,
And economic development.
Our Alex III and his son Nick Two,
Tried to create a solid foundation,
What else could they do?
Russia was behind,
And the people fought.
So they had to do something,
The whole country was distraught.
But since people are so different,
This didn't appeal to all,
Government officials and business owners applauded,
While nobles and peasants thought that change would cause fall.
At the factory gates,
Were socialist remarks.
Behind each of these,
The revolutionary, legendary Karl Marx.
In 1904,
Russian-Japanese war.
A poor score left the Russians sore.
A peaceful march turned into Bloody Sunday.
Revolutions followed dutifully,
And a legislature was made.
Nothing could go into effect,
Without the Duma's okay.
Nick hired Peter Stolypin,
A prime minister for the land,
And at his hand,
Russia took a stand.
For peasants he reformed the plans for the land.
Assassinated in 1911,
The mood was not leavened.
And things stayed the same it seems,
Until 1917,
When here comes good old Lenin.

Feeling freaking psychotic tonight.

Like, take over the world psycho. Help me?

It'll be good times.

I like the world right now.

Acceptance is so healthy.

"I promise You, I'll be okay.
The truth is, I'm so messed up in all the right ways"

I just want acceptance.

It's the truth. And I'm getting there.

It starts with self-acceptance, no?

Must say "Yes, Rachel, I know who You are, faults and all, and I love You none the less."

Talking to oneself is underrated.

I feel like giving out prayers. I do a lot. So if You need one, feel free to ask for one. You don't have to tell me a single thing that's happening, but I will pray my heart out for You.

Dig by Incubus always gets me in this sort of mood. S'riously awesome song. Makes life pretty worth it. Music video's awesome too.

"If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering, a better part of me. Sing this soooong, Remind me that we'll always have each other, when everything else is gone."

I wish I could claim those. They're such good lyrics!

Here's the thing about me:

I have this issue, where I tend to laugh too loud.

I like mocking EVERYTHING. Nobody's safe.

I could try to figure out things forever, and never come close.

I miss the past sometimes, but God, I am so thankful for where I am.

I say the same things over and over again, because I don't know who listens.

I don't like people.

I laughed as I wrote the above thing.

I pretend to know things.

I make up fake statistics so that the things that I pretend to know are believed.

I love too much.

I hate too much.

I am too much.

I think I probably need to see a psychologist.

I'm not worrying about it too much.

I have a weakness, and it's easy to identify.

I'm shaking.

I want to cry and laugh and scream and dance!

I want You to know who I am.

Just, like, see me, for who I am.

That's all I ask.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Until Now
I never stopped to think.
Who was I to challenge?
Who was I to pretend?
Who am I to be?
I knew their was no guarantee of simplicity.
But how,
No,
Why?
Why let me wonder what I can never know?
Until now
I trusted every word,
Smiled at every lie.
Why?
How?
Until now
You were nothing more than a promise
There's a reason
But now,
Now we live for nothing,
Knowing there's no reason,
But what we have in this instant.
Most of us gave up a long time ago.
I,
The foolish one,
Held on to beliefs.
But it only made it harder to let go.
You promised I would never have to let go!
You swore!
Some kind of person you are.
But guess what?
Second chances are for everyone.
So even though you screwed up
I'm gonna let you try again.
Give me a reason to believe.
No more blindly following.
Prove me.
But I'm loving you til then.
Still.
Thick and thin darling.
You promised to be here,
And even if you lied,
I keep my promises.
Maybe you'll learn.
There's still time.
So,
Here's your chance.

Love Forever,
Rachel

The flame dances wildly, forced side to side by The Ancient Spirits. A prayer lifts from the sallow lips of the hallowed faces, a reminder of our ancestral practices, practices condemned by our Brothers in Belief. The charred wood floats indolently above our methodically moving bodies. We dance, trees enveloping us, welcoming the suffocating smoke, smells inducing nostalgia.

The drums stops. Reality begins to take control once again. The we and our slowly turns back back into me and my. Alone in my own prison, I stare at the pictures on the wall, modern idols challenging me to try again. Just try, they say with their deathly glares. The ancestral practices have been forgotten for many years now. I try to grasp on the fleeting image of the past of my people. However, the gods will that my past stay there, and I must obey.

He looked at me
Slumped in the corner.
What's wrong ma'am?
And so I began:

Sometimes my thoughts betray me
Hate me.
Faith? Please.
Oh sure, God, you claim to be all.
Then why is it that all around us people have to fall?
Do we deserve to be screwed over?
Were we forgotten in your magnificent plan?
Ha, thanks God, you sure seem to be a mighty man.
If you're all that you say you are, why do I have to feel this way?
Do my feelings mean nothing to you?
Do you even care what I have to say?

Man, truth is, I've been feeling way down.
Sometimes I wonder if it's be better to just embrace the ground.
That's where I seem to spend all my days anyway.
How are we s'posed to believe when we feel like this?
A swing and miss.
Story of my life.
Why deal with all the strife?

I just want an answer!
Why try?
Let's see a sign.

I fall silent.
Two eyes, to mine they rise.
If you could've seen him...
He speaks so softly, I have to lean in.

Romans 5:1-5.

A bible verse?
That's all you got?
You could do better, I thought.

Just look, pleaded the stranger.
A book holds no danger.

My hand roams the familiar tome.
Romans.
My eyes swiftly dance across the page.
The world has stopped for me.
A bible verse, but how could it be?
Promises lept out at me.
Promises of hope for eternity.

Because:

Suffering makes endurance, so we'll stand back up when we fall.

Endurance produces character, which gives us strength to get through all.

And finally, character produces hope, which never disappoints.

That's the point, he says.
That's our reason.

My speech fails me.
How do you thank someone who's saved your life.
Shown you the reason to deal with the strife.

Sometimes, your thoughts will still betray,
Hate.
But you have to keep faith.
More importantly though,
Keep hope.