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Searching for a Pulga

Posted by Dr. D , 02 December 2010 · 64 views

It was in those first days alter I had arrived in the village.  I was unknown and thus held in suspicion by most.  I was only known as the gringo who had bought La Casona and was contracting men to help in its restoration.  But restoration would not be all.  The house was incredibly large and much furnishing would be required to fill it properly.  One of the great places to find antique furniture was at a flea market but I had not seen one in the village.  Most towns had one so I assumed that the village would also. I had also learned that the older the flea market was, the older the furniture items within it.

My Spanish was terribly anemic at that time so I checked the dictionary to learn that the word for a flea market was “pulga.”  What the dictionary did not tell me was that in the local jargon, “pulga” also meant a prostitute.

So it was that one day I was busy searching for a flea market, I saw a taxi driver who I remembered spoke some English.  I entered his taxi and promptly said, “There’s no pulgas here, right?”

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and shrugged.  “No?  Why, there are many!”

“Really?”  I asked.  “I haven’t seen any.”

He smiled knowingly and winked.  “You like those pulgas, ‘eh?”

“Yeah,” I confessed, “a lot.”

“What kind of pulga you like?”  

I thought the question was a bit odd but I responded, “Big ones.”

He laughed aloud and poked his elbow into my ribs.  “Big, ‘eh?  But nice and clean, right?”

“That’s not really necessary,” I told him.  “I’ve been to some that were pretty dirty.”

“Madre de Dios!” he exclaimed.  “So how much do you want to pay?”

His questions seemed to get more bizarre as we spoke.  “It depends on the thing,” I told him.

“Si?” he asked incredulously, “and what things do you like?”

I shrugged with the thought.  “Everything, I guess, but the older the better.”

His mouth fell agape.  “Big, dirty and old?”

“Dirty isn’t a priority,” I laughed, “but big and old, yes.”

He was rubbing his chin with thought before saying, “All those American are like you?  They all like their pulgas old and big?”

“Not necessarily,” I responded, “some of the old pulgas are more expensive.”

He slapped his palm to his head.  “Caramba!  So the young ones are cheaper?”

“Oh, much,” I informed him.  “the younger ones just don't have as much to offer.”

He appeared to be in complete awe of our conversation and I was proud that he placed such confidence in my opinions.

“But old isn’t pretty!” he protested.  “Don’t you want something pretty?”

I shook my head knowingly.  “I’ve taken old, ugly things home and after a couple days of working them over they were really worth a lot more money.”

His face was frozen in shock and his eyes examined my face with astonishment.

“So where’s the pulga?” I asked.

“Look,” he said, pulling over to the curb, “I don’t know any like you want and if I did, I wouldn’t want to be responsible, you know?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” I told him, “if there’s nothing I like, I’ll just go to another pulga.”

He seemed suddenly nervous and said, “I have to go home and eat now.  Maybe you can find another taxi.”

I stepped out of the cab and reached for my billfold but he held up his hand and added, “no charge.”

He drove away and a few days later he moved away to another city.  

        Maybe it was to protect his grandmother.

LOL. You had me going, for a minute there.
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HaHaHa! Good one, Dr. D!  :lol:
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tu madre es puuuu..
tu madre es puuuu..
tu madre es pura belleza
le gusta el pi, le gusta el pi
le gusta el piso encerado
tiene la co, tiene la co
tiene la conciencia limpia
llena de pe, llena de pe,
llena de pensamientos

rojo es el piii...
rojo es el piii...
rojo es el piso en la iglesia
negra es la zo, negra es la zo,
negra es la sotana del cura
tenis el ho, tenis el ho,
tenis el hombro caido
de tantas ca, de tantas ca,
de tantas cajas cargadas

abre las piee..
abre las piee..
abre las piezas del fondo
pasa la ra, pasa la ra,
pasa la radio portatil
te duele el pi, te duele el pi
te duele el pies izquierdo
te cayo un co, te cayo un co
te cayo un combo de acero

tengo las tee...
tengo las tee...
tengo las tejas corrias
de tanto cu, de tanto cu,
de tanto cumbiar bailando
te hessho una ca, te hessho una ca,
te hessho una carta al correo
llena de mo, llena de mo,
llena de motivos lindos

tengo la zoo...
tengo la zoo...
tengo la sospecha grande
de que tu pi, de que tu pi,
de que tu piano de pola
ya no se pa, ya no se pa,
ya no se que para que sirve
tiene las cue, tiene las cue,
tiene las cuerdas cortadas

raja chumingo tu poncho
que para cu, que para cu,
que para cubrir mi cuerpo
tengo las we, tengo las we,
tengo las wenas noticias

:lol: i hope you understand spanish enough by now to get it ;)
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