Jump to content






Photo

I find myself contemplating my mortality

Posted by White Crane Feather , 13 July 2012 · 859 views

I'm sitting here on the coach trying to shake this mood I have put myself into.

Yesterday I went to the doctor. My left breast has been sore and it wasn't going away. Turns out I have some sort of cyst. Funny thing is that the cyst dosnt hurt but the areas behind it does. This is a symptom of and advanced stage of male breast cancer. A rare condition. Tuesday I have an appointment with a specialist.

Nothing is sure yet, but I find myself deeply disturbed by it anyway. I don't mind a fight with cancer, I don't even really mind dying. But I just don't want to leave my three boys.  I have sooooo much to show them.

I can't help but wonder if all these visions lately are some sort of preparation. I cant stand the thought of my little baby not remembering me or my older boys growing up without me. It's breaking my heart.

All of my knowledge and the things I have seen make life even more precious to me.

Im going to do some very deep prayer in the days to come. If you pray please join me.




Seeker it may anger you in your current state but I admit that last year at this time I was suicidal.  I'd taken all I could and had made my plans.  It was the thought of my daughter and what it would do to her that stopped me.  But during that time I gave very intimate thought to death and what comes next.  I will join you in prayer for you, your condition and your family.  Isn't it strange how we never fully appreciate what we have until it is threatened?  May the Lord bless and keep you and your's.  May He keep you in the palm of His hand and supply every need for you and your family in this time of testing.  Be strong in the Lord, and the power of HIS might.  God Bless you Seeker.
  • Report

White Crane Feather
Jul 13 2012 08:53 PM
It dosnt anger me. Thank you.
  • Report

Star of the Sea
Jul 13 2012 09:01 PM
Hi Seeker,

When my girls were little I faced death straight in the face. Like you all I worried about were my children.... they keep you going and hopefully all will be well for you. Take care Seeker and wishing you well through this difficult time.

I will remember you in my prayers.
  • Report
i can't begin to imagine what you're going through but what i can tell you is that human will and love are something unfathomably strong,and the love you have for your children is going to give you
the strength you need to pull through for them,just have faith and know that it will carry you through all of this,and where there's a will there's a way,i'll be praying for you my friend.
  • Report
Thinking positive thoughts for you for sure Seeker...
  • Report

SuddenPsychic
Jul 14 2012 01:47 AM
No words except thinking of you and sending you light.
  • Report
I will pray.
  • Report

Recent Comments

0 user(s) viewing

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Categories

Latest Visitors

  • Photo
    preacherman76
    07 Jul 2015 - 12:28
  • Photo
    Cherry-Wolf
    04 Jun 2015 - 22:05
  • Photo
    The_Purple_Astronaut
    12 Apr 2015 - 01:12
  • Photo
    Radical Owl
    12 Apr 2015 - 00:59
  • Photo
    Beachmama1
    16 Feb 2015 - 00:20
  • Photo
    Liquid Gardens
    31 Jan 2015 - 17:13
  • Photo
    lanielee007
    25 Jan 2015 - 01:43
  • Photo
    Beastly Decimal
    22 Jan 2015 - 16:09
  • Photo
    Likely Guy
    18 Jan 2015 - 03:54
  • Photo
    aka CAT
    31 Dec 2014 - 01:28
  • Photo
    docyabut2
    17 Dec 2014 - 02:07
  • Photo
    The Id3al Experience
    16 Dec 2014 - 00:46
  • Photo
    dcal026
    15 Dec 2014 - 21:26
  • Photo
    Helen of Annoy
    14 Dec 2014 - 15:21
  • Photo
    StarMountainKid
    14 Dec 2014 - 14:59
  • Photo
    spartan max2
    07 Dec 2014 - 17:42
  • Photo
    Peter B
    07 Dec 2014 - 06:29
  • Photo
    Sherapy
    05 Dec 2014 - 17:29
  • Photo
    OverSword
    29 Nov 2014 - 01:47
  • Photo
    WolvenHeart7
    27 Nov 2014 - 23:29