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Rainbow

Posted by coldethyl , 03 October 2007 · 131 views

Last night my brother called me and told me that his wife is pregnant.  I'm going to be an aunt again.  I need a nephew.  I only have nieces from my sister and my sister in law.  This will be my brother and his wife's first baby.  I know they're excited.  

I saw a beautiful rainbow this morning.  It was crystal clear and massive.  I thought it was for me.  Turns out, I was wrong.  Is it a bad thing to try and glean some hope from someone else's rainbow?  I only needed a little.  Just a little.  But maybe someone else needed it more.  All of it.

My mom called me just a bit ago.

Do you ever wonder if all the bad things that you've ever thought but never actually done count against you karma wise?  I wonder that.  I think a lot of bad things sometimes.  Sometimes I think of downright mean things and I feel no remorse whatsoever.  I think that karma must no that.  It must.  Does that make me a bad person or does it just mean I'm rotten on the inside?  I don't know.  I really don't.

Mom's tumor is cancerous, but it's only on the bone and not in the bone.  It's ping pong ball sized.  She's going back to the doctor in the morning.

I thought that damn rainbow was for me.






I'll send you a rainbow. And no its not a bad thing, you glean hope from were ever you can! You cant stand in line for happiness. you need to make it / take it yourself!
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Congrats on being a new aunt.

I'll think happy karma thoughts for your Mom.   wub.gif
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What's her prognosis?*hugs*

I know you don't wanna hear a lot of crap, and I know your dealing with this the best way you know how, so I'll just leave you with this... wub.gif

What's the babies name?
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despite the bad news, that rainbow was yours and only yours.  Its a reminder that there is hope and that even through the worst of times life is good.  Though life may hurt and sting us at times, there is still reason to smile and have a warm heart.

You appreciated that rainbow more than anyone else, and for that its yours.  No one can take it away.

Hang in there my friend.
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snuffypuffer
Oct 03 2007 04:16 PM
I don't think you're rotten at all. wub.gif

Everybody gets the bad gunky up in their head every once in a while, it's how you act on it that is important in the long run. Everything matters, so the more good you do the less bad thoughts you'll have to kick around.

*squeezes*
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Ehtyle. My thoughts and prayers go out to your mom for a successful and rapid recovery. The accumulative energy and love from friends and family have performed miricles time and again. I will throw my vibes into this pool of goodness.

Personally, I don't believe that karma would be effected by negative thoughts. Having such ideas and ponderings are part of the human condition. The hermit-monk, Thomas Merton speaks of his bouts with temptation from anger, hatred, sex, and remorse. And that even as an ordained holy man, you can never be 'un'human. I believe Its how one deals with these ideas and thoughts in a constructive and healthy way. To plot them out and intend to manifest them is the first steps to a karmic downfall. To recognize them for what they are, an emotionally charged reaction of a self serving ego, and entertain them only to contrast against what your higher self knows better than, is I believe a healthy exercise. So long as with this foresight you can take steps towards the better reaction. I.E. -  it's ultimately where you focus most your energy towards that sew the darhmic seeds.

Your rainbow is out there... it just hasn't made its arch to you yet. Keep positive.
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Daughter of the Nine Moons
Oct 03 2007 04:45 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, best wishes on a rapid recovery for her.
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You are not a rotten person; you're simply human like the rest of us.  We all have our good days and bad days.  IMO, hope and faith are the strongest defenses we have against the things that befall us in this world.  I believe that rainbow you saw was just for you...it was a reminder that you're never alone in any of this, and that you have friends who will be there for you no matter what.   wub.gif   I have your mom on my prayer list and will continue to pray for her.   Hang in there!
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Sorry to hear about your mom coldethyl; this blog made me sad on a lot of levels; about rainbows and karma and questions which to my mind can never be certainly answered.

I'm sure the rainbow was for you, for al of us..

Hugs to you

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distortedpandy
Oct 03 2007 06:39 PM
I'm so very sorry ethyl. You know that I'm here for you and will hold your hand. I give all my rainbows and the next 11:11 to you.
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Thanks everyone.

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I don't have any rainbows, but you can have this tree.  

its all yours.

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MadEyePixie
Oct 04 2007 12:06 AM
Congrats on being an aunt again!

Sorry to read about your mom, I hope things go well for her!

I'll do some extra Democrat bashing for you, if that'll make you feel better. I'm going to annoy one that's speaking at my school Monday.
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I woke up this morning with the song, "True Colors" by Cindi Lauper on my mind.  These lyrics are dedicated to you, Ethyl.   wub.gif   I hope you have a great day!!  



You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow
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Oh sweetie - I'm sorry to hear of your mother.  That sucks but my best wishes go with you and her and all your family.  And why on earth would you not think the rainbow was for you dear?  If you see one, it's yours.  Tis the law.

I don't think Kharma follows our thoughts, but our thoughts, I do believe, create our 'situations'...  so our thoughts might set up the scene for us to 'test' ourselves...  and our actions of course bring about Kharmic return.

It's a hard thing sometimes, but don't 'grow' too many of the dark thoughts sweetie - always beleive the rainbow is yours and there are always two of them.

Hugs and the warmest of thoughts for Ethyl.
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