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"Watch The Cosmos!"

Posted by _Only , 03 August 2012 · 508 views

I have a bad memory. Okay, I have a shockingly scary degree of an awful memory. I can only dig up various snapshots of my past and build from there to remember less than major events in my life. Even the major events are foggy. And even a day yesterday or the day before almost completely leaves my memory when I wake up the next morning. It scares me, but it it's just how it is.

Which makes it a rare occurrence when I remember a moment in my life in anything more than a vague, still snapshot. And even more odd when the moment was a seemingly random, meaningless moment for so many years. This was my moment.

I was messing around with my friend Mike on the tennis courts during P.E. at high school. I remember we and the class were playing some kind of game of catch in pairs, throwing something to and from each other. I remember that Mike and I were having a lot of fun at the moment, joking around and just letting it all hang out. I saw our P.E. teacher come up looking coy as he sauntered by, and he said "Watch the cosmos!" kind of slowly, in a mysterious, jovial way. I remember it striking me as a very odd thing to randomly say. It wasn't like him to say something weird like that. I half-ignored it and went back to what I was doing. He ended up coming back and passing us again and saying it 2 or 3 more times to us in the span of this 10 minute or so moment in time. I remember looking at Mike and we were like "what the hell is he talking about". Then we started saying it to each other as a joke. "Watch the cosmoooos!" I remember pieces of this memory better than most memories. I see bits of motion and hear phrases, and that alone would let me feel free to call it a vivid memory for me in my book.

Well, like I alluded to earlier, for about 11 years I remembered this moment randomly at various times, still not finding any significance in it. It's only recently that, much to my own wonder and amazement, that I am finding myself absolutely drawn towards things out there in our universe. The sun, the moon, our planet, all of the stars, comets, all of them feel like my friends these recent days, and I can't wait for the moment I see them. And I am not completely sure why. I had gone basically 27 years of my life not paying any of them any mind, and now all of a sudden I adore all that is around me and beyond. I have had a major change in my world these past 6 months or so, and I am getting strong hints that there is something bigger than I could ever imagine around me in this place. And I am coming to see that the answers are in the cosmos, as am I. When I feel these moments the strongest, a voice in my head says "almost". I so eagerly await the moment it says "YES, THIS IS IT!!"

But anyway, I have come to adore "watching the cosmos" both literally and figuratively, in a very personal and meaningful way. Which gave that rare "vivid", long lasting memory a power and meaning it had been hiding from for 11 years. Which starts to lead me to wonder what my P.E. teacher was really saying to me on that day in the past, whether he meant to or not.

Regardless, I was reading the book "Cosmos" I bought a month ago, and saw in it that there was a massively popular TV series that they made to coincide with the book. I downloaded all of the episodes. So far I have only watched the first episode, but I think there is a lot to be learned and thought about while watching it. And it just makes me laugh inside when I think that now that I have all of those episodes, whenever the mood strikes, I can sit back and "watch the Cosmos". But I don't know if that will hold the same type of wonder as going outside and looking at the sky in both the day and night, or going somewhere alone in the forest and taking in all that is around me.

"Good"

Is it?

"Yes, it is."

:)

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