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Just feeling.. sad.

Posted by willowdreams , 19 August 2012 · 616 views

We had a cat.. named Saydie.. now we knew when she was just 8 weeks old that we would be lucky to have her three yrs, tops. Most likely just 2 yrs. We KNEW this, she had a medical condition where her body did not absorb fat, we had this pill we could powder up and put on her food, but there really isnt a 'cure' and she would have 'episodes' of where she would go to skeletal weight.. we would get her to the vet, and really all they could do is hydrate her and send her home.. with the understanding that one of these episodes she would NOT recover from.

SOOO We did what we could. We understood she did not absorb fat like she should, the pill helped her some but not totally. SO we spoiled her, we got her kitten food and suplimental milk and such.. and we fed her salmon and other fish. Spoiled spoiled spoiled her, she was a very very very very very happy cat. We though we had the secret.. fatty food, kitten food, all meat human baby foot, kitten milk.. spoiling. She made it to her second yr, then her third.. then her fourth.. and this december would have been her fifth.

Sadly.. she did not make it :( she started losing weight again last week.. and we did our normal routine. No, no vet, that always stressed her out to an extreme, and we already knew how to keep her hydrated, so we just kept her happy, loved her, made sure she got her water, plus liquid with fish and other things in it and she let us give it to her in an eye dropper as normal. She did just like all the other times, and she was attentive, the ONLY difference this time is.. one of the ferals that we kept, and have had for 5ish yrs, who refuses to NOT be feral, loved all over her. Evie does cuddle with the cats and dogs here, not humans, but she never singled saydie out... saydie is a 'humans kitty' always with humans, always being cossetted by humans.. but this time? Well we let saydie go where she wanted, which is the front window where she could see the world, and the birds and such.. and Evie stuck by her side, cleaning.. sleeping with her.. even when we human were there, evie would back up a bit while saydie was being fed and 'wiped up' and her area cleaned.. but she didnt 'leave'..

That should have told us something. We honestly thought she would get over it like normal, then my son carried her to the livngroom to hold her and Saydie had a lil convulsion and died in his arms :(

I know it may seems silly.. me 49.. my son 26 and dughter 27.. but.. ahhh.. well... crying seems such a shallow thing to do when someone you care for dies. But what else is there?

Every now and then I will see something out the corner of my eye and turn my head to say 'hey saydie baby!' then remember..

Earlier today Char jumped off a table and I turned quickly to 'catch' her.. before I realized it was char char and NOT saydie.. i rarely let saydie jump off much anything as she was always a bit 'fragile' and brittle in some ways.. Char seemed disgruntled at my getting in her way of jumping where she wanted.. Saydie would have just settled in my arms and purred..

My son would carry saydie on her arm like that 007 'enemy' had his white cat on his arm... Our lil Saydie Baby is not with us anymore

and I do feel a loss without her.. cat though she was.. after almost 5 yrs of fighting with her.. for her.. the loss is there.

saydie baby during one of her good times.. and saydie baby during one of the bad times.. shes laying on my bed with 'belle'... (belle is our old lady of the house.. shes up there in years for a cat)

click for larger..

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Beautifult tribute to a lovely creature.....I am happy that she had such loving people to care for her.  IN five years, she lived more than most cats, at least in the love and spoiled department.

You are quite a lovely person my friend.

peace
mark
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StarMountainKid
Aug 19 2012 04:46 PM
I have cats and have gone through various emotional situations with some of them over the years. I can relate to how you feel.
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Simbi Laveau
Aug 19 2012 07:26 PM
I'm so sorry :'(
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