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I Lack Common Sense When Dealing With Women

Posted by Biff Wellington , 01 October 2012 · 622 views

I've always wanted to start a blog on UM & this seems as good a subject as any to start one with.

I've always been a bit naive in the ways of dealing with women. I have never had a hard time getting women but keeping them from getting upset with me is another story. It seems I manage to make every woman in my life angry, every chance I get...& I do so subconsciously.

To began I understand that most, if not all women, are complicated creatures, that tend to act & speak in riddles. These are riddles that I never know are being read to me. When women are interested in a man they usually drop little hints to let you know so, in hopes that you pick up the signal & make the first move. I like that since aggressive females tend to "turn me off". However I have never been able to see these hints & I continue to frollock through Daniel Land unaware of what's going on around me.

I am a notorious flirt & yet I never notice when I'm being flirted with. Unless, of course, they say, "Hey you! I want you!" In that situation I reply, "That's, kinda... Slutty." & then continue on my way through my magical little world. This is one of my plights in life.

Now that you know this about me, I can tell you about my dilemma. I have been recently talking to this lady for a short time now. We don't have a whole lot in common except for the fact that we are both brutally honest & have great conversations. In the short period of time that I've known her, I have come to cherish her as a friend. & yes, I do flirt with her quite a bit because, well, she's pretty attractive on top of it all.

Then the other day, I screwed up. I should have enough common sense not to have made such a idiotic f up. I SHOULD, but I don't apparently...

Before you know my mistake, you need to know a little about my situation in life. For most of my adult life I've been with the same woman. For 2 years we dated & for 5 years we were married. We also share a beautiful 3 year old little girl (which I have pictures of in my gallery if you're interested in seeing her). We divorced a year ago however. Now make that situation a little weird. I went to jail for 42 days back in April. When I got out I had nowhere to go. So my ex wife gave me couch to sleep on & a roof over my head. We then made an agreement that I would help her out while she saves up some money until February. At that time I'm going out into the world & finding my place in it (hopefully).

Now that this is known, I can return to my original f up.... I apparently talk to much about my ex. I don't intend to. That's all I've known for 7 years (I'm only 26) & it's hard too forge new stories when you're under the same roof as your ex. I can hear the women around the world muttering, "Biff, you dumbass." & You all are absolutely right.

Now this beautiful & delightful young lady believes me to still be in love with my ex wife, which couldn't be further from the truth. I actually find myself to be quite repulsed by my ex & if we didn't share a child together, I would have nothing to do with her.

Now I have offended her, when I didn't even know I was in a position to offend her in such a way. I was probably, just not blatantly, told that I was in such a position. I'm just too stupid to ever notice. Now my fear is that my ignorance ruined what could've been a very meaningful friendship.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest guys & I hope you all enjoyed the first of Biff's rants. Goodnight UM & learn from my retardation.

From the desk of:
Lord Biff Wellington Esq.




I like the honesty, Biff and would suggest that you get your own place -- any place -- as soon as possible.  Going back with an ex is like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on.
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Biff Wellington
Oct 01 2012 03:19 PM
I really would if I had the option Doc. If I do though I'll be leaving my daughter in a screwed up spot. So In waiting until February when I get my Tax return & giving most of it to the mother so that she can't use that as an excuse against me.
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Biff Wellington
Oct 01 2012 03:20 PM
She's doing me in on all fours & isn't using the Vaseline.
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