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Hellish Society?
Posted by , 07 August 2005 - 10:29 PM
Some human-rights fanatic on the forum just said that given my views on crime and punishment, my society would be 'a hellish society'.
I have but one question.
Why?
Because in my society we don't pay £100,000 a year in welfare to serial paedophiles?
Because in my society I don't concern myself with the rights of murderers when their terrorist friends are planning to kill more of my people?
Because in my society men like Abu Hamza would be have never been allowed to have spent the last 5 years telling his followers to out and kill non-Muslims?
Because in my society 2 years is not considered a sane sentence for someone who breaks into houses and rapes children in their own beds?
Because in my society lunatics who shoot babies with air pistols from the comfort of their living room window would not get off with just their gun confiscated?
Because in my society fundamentalist clerics who publicly support acts of terror would not be allowed the financial backing of human-rights group Liberty to his legal costs against deportation?
Because in my society I would protect the public by locking up criminals for far longer durations than bleeding hearts would?
Because in my society 10-year olds who murder babies and leave their bodies to rot on a railway track do not get a better education that those outside their bars?
Because in my society men who invite two young girls who trust him into his house before drowing them in his bath, are not allowed to sell his story to the media for profit?
Because in my society I will not allow known criminals to walk free because of technicalities in the law?
Because in my society old men who, fearing for their life, shoot a burglar breaking down the front door, do not go to jail?
Because in my society a Ned who attacks a terrified pensioner for her purse, can not then sue her if she hits him with her cane?
Because in my society I do not allow people to come on TV after 120 Russian children have just been murdered in their school and urge UK Muslims to go out and do the same?
Because in my society after 52 people have just been blown up by terrorists while on their way to work, I do not give asylum to a fanatic the US has kicked out only 2 days later?
Because in my society I actually care enough about my people to bloody my own hands and do what needs to be done to so they can sleep safe at night, while bleeding heart ilk stand outside the jails demanding the human rights of murders, paedophiles, terrorists and other sub-human filth who didn't give a damn about the rights of their victims.
I have but one question.
Why?
Because in my society we don't pay £100,000 a year in welfare to serial paedophiles?
Because in my society I don't concern myself with the rights of murderers when their terrorist friends are planning to kill more of my people?
Because in my society men like Abu Hamza would be have never been allowed to have spent the last 5 years telling his followers to out and kill non-Muslims?
Because in my society 2 years is not considered a sane sentence for someone who breaks into houses and rapes children in their own beds?
Because in my society lunatics who shoot babies with air pistols from the comfort of their living room window would not get off with just their gun confiscated?
Because in my society fundamentalist clerics who publicly support acts of terror would not be allowed the financial backing of human-rights group Liberty to his legal costs against deportation?
Because in my society I would protect the public by locking up criminals for far longer durations than bleeding hearts would?
Because in my society 10-year olds who murder babies and leave their bodies to rot on a railway track do not get a better education that those outside their bars?
Because in my society men who invite two young girls who trust him into his house before drowing them in his bath, are not allowed to sell his story to the media for profit?
Because in my society I will not allow known criminals to walk free because of technicalities in the law?
Because in my society old men who, fearing for their life, shoot a burglar breaking down the front door, do not go to jail?
Because in my society a Ned who attacks a terrified pensioner for her purse, can not then sue her if she hits him with her cane?
Because in my society I do not allow people to come on TV after 120 Russian children have just been murdered in their school and urge UK Muslims to go out and do the same?
Because in my society after 52 people have just been blown up by terrorists while on their way to work, I do not give asylum to a fanatic the US has kicked out only 2 days later?
Because in my society I actually care enough about my people to bloody my own hands and do what needs to be done to so they can sleep safe at night, while bleeding heart ilk stand outside the jails demanding the human rights of murders, paedophiles, terrorists and other sub-human filth who didn't give a damn about the rights of their victims.
Weird al's Albuquerque
Posted by , 20 July 2005 - 12:55 AM
Heard this song the other day.... it has the most bizard lyrics I have ever heard. Seriously, its the funniest song I ever heard, I think everyone should hear it at least once. 
QUOTE
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC LYRICS
"Albuquerque"
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doodoo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .
Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
I hate sauerkraut
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque
"Albuquerque"
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doodoo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .
Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
I hate sauerkraut
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Fight Club – Match 1: Paul W.S. Anderson
Posted by , 18 July 2005 - 11:07 PM
Fight Club – Match 1: Paul W.S. Anderson
I wont go so far as to say I hate Paul Anderson. I wont go so far as to say he’s the worst movie Director ever. I will go so far as to say he’s a bad one.
From Mortal Kombat to Event Horizon, from Resident Evil to Alien Vs. Predator, Anderson has just gone from one bad or average movie to another – I am able to say average, of course, because his movies have actually lowered the average. In fact it surprises me studio’s still trust him with titles after such a massive run of constantly poor movies.
On viewing his movies I can see a common trend, they tend to be silly, over-the-top, and despite the huge budgets some idiotic studio higher-ups give him, they tend to feel cheap.
I think the most annoying aspect of Anderson is his belief that action somehow will make up for poor plot, little to no character development, and every aspect which arises due to his poor direction.
Hate to break it to him, but it doesn’t.
Furthermore, his obsession to use action laps over into the movies he chooses to direct, despite being completely inappropriate.
For example, Resident Evil as game emphasizes on being a horror game as well as action. Yet you wouldn’t think it by watching Anderson’s movie, were he obsessively throws gory scene and gory scene at us, but not once succeeds in creating any of the dark, tense atmosphere of the game. Worse still, its pretty apparent he didn’t even try, pushing ahead will his own ideas rather than what the fans want to see.
This case only continues will Alien vs Predator, where gone is horror aspect of the Aliens, and the sheer thrill of Predator. Instead we catered to more of Anderson’s CG action scenes and flashy special effects which he once again hopes will fill in for the lack of any atmosphere. And certainly don’t expect any character development, Anderson’s course on ‘How to Direct?’ is still to reach that week,. There are no memorable characters in AvP, no Ripley, Hudson, Bishop or Dutch. The main character Alexia Homer is completely one dimensional, and the only characters to show any form of character are Charles Bishop, Graham Miller, and Sebastian Da Rosa are all killed off early – probably because they were the only decent actors in his otherwise crap cast, trying to make do with a script that seemed to be written by a ten year old, with all the ability to write a natural sounding conversation as a pack of chocolate raisins.
It is actually very surprising how bad AvP was, I would have thought, given that everything had already been handed to him on a plate that he may have at least been able to stumble into making a decent move. Lets face it, we have a long running comic strip, dozens of books, forums throwing ideas around, and a wealth of other information cut into easy to chew pieces for this amateur director. However, even all this couldn’t stop Anderson’s quest to ruin this movie prospect.
You know a director must be really bad when he manages to kill not only the Alien franchise but the Predator franchise along with it like a huge plague bearing turd.
The fact is, that it is this complete lack of interest in what the fans actually want which is what makes me hate Anderson’s movies and his lack of talent the most.
I keep hearing him say, ‘I am a fan of the Resident Evil games’, ‘I am a fan of Aliens’, and ‘I am a fan of Predator’. Er, no your not.
I’ve read fanfictions that were more Resident Evil than the dribble that he made. And as for Alien vs Predator, I can name multiple aspects that showed producing a movie comparable to the existing movies in the franchise was not his intension.
Anderson’s utter disrespect for Predator appears in the image of his version of the hunters. Gone are the sleek agile monsters of the previous movies, replaced with steroid-abusing giants who lumber around screen with little resemblance the fan-favorites introduced in the 1980s, and manage to look more like a guy wearing a rubber suit, than the version created twenty yeas ago.
In fact the biggest joke is in the Specials on the DVD of RE2 when they are discussing the games, they even mistakenly call Claire Redfield, one of the game’s central characters, Alice, the completely made up character in their movies. If they are incapable of even remembering the names of the games character’s, then it shows how much attention they appeared to pay the games when producing the movies.
I think it is obvious that instead Anderson chooses series he knows have a cult following. He deliberately choose AvP and RE to turn into movies, knowing that he could do his usual half-baked job yet still have a large existing fan base for the series who will feel obliged to see it.
And that is what annoys me most about Anderson.
Looking at AvP and Resident Evil, I’ll admit both were passable, in fact I may have even enjoyed them if it wasn’t for the fact as a fan of the franchise for years I was angry he was making movies which did not in the slightest resemble them.
If Anderson wants to make up his own stuff, then fine, make Event Horizon, make Soldier, make Sight for all I care. Make your own movies, and do what you want with them, STOP your continual selfishness in taking beloved franchises and butchering them just to increase your DVD sales because your own movies fail like a trailer park spelling Bee.
In conclusion I couldn’t help but recall the tag-line of AvP, the particularly iconic "Whoever wins, we lose." I have a sneaking feeling whoever wrote that phrase wasn’t speaking on behalf of the character’s in the movie, but instead the members of the audience.
I wont go so far as to say I hate Paul Anderson. I wont go so far as to say he’s the worst movie Director ever. I will go so far as to say he’s a bad one.
From Mortal Kombat to Event Horizon, from Resident Evil to Alien Vs. Predator, Anderson has just gone from one bad or average movie to another – I am able to say average, of course, because his movies have actually lowered the average. In fact it surprises me studio’s still trust him with titles after such a massive run of constantly poor movies.
On viewing his movies I can see a common trend, they tend to be silly, over-the-top, and despite the huge budgets some idiotic studio higher-ups give him, they tend to feel cheap.
I think the most annoying aspect of Anderson is his belief that action somehow will make up for poor plot, little to no character development, and every aspect which arises due to his poor direction.
Hate to break it to him, but it doesn’t.
Furthermore, his obsession to use action laps over into the movies he chooses to direct, despite being completely inappropriate.
For example, Resident Evil as game emphasizes on being a horror game as well as action. Yet you wouldn’t think it by watching Anderson’s movie, were he obsessively throws gory scene and gory scene at us, but not once succeeds in creating any of the dark, tense atmosphere of the game. Worse still, its pretty apparent he didn’t even try, pushing ahead will his own ideas rather than what the fans want to see.
This case only continues will Alien vs Predator, where gone is horror aspect of the Aliens, and the sheer thrill of Predator. Instead we catered to more of Anderson’s CG action scenes and flashy special effects which he once again hopes will fill in for the lack of any atmosphere. And certainly don’t expect any character development, Anderson’s course on ‘How to Direct?’ is still to reach that week,. There are no memorable characters in AvP, no Ripley, Hudson, Bishop or Dutch. The main character Alexia Homer is completely one dimensional, and the only characters to show any form of character are Charles Bishop, Graham Miller, and Sebastian Da Rosa are all killed off early – probably because they were the only decent actors in his otherwise crap cast, trying to make do with a script that seemed to be written by a ten year old, with all the ability to write a natural sounding conversation as a pack of chocolate raisins.
It is actually very surprising how bad AvP was, I would have thought, given that everything had already been handed to him on a plate that he may have at least been able to stumble into making a decent move. Lets face it, we have a long running comic strip, dozens of books, forums throwing ideas around, and a wealth of other information cut into easy to chew pieces for this amateur director. However, even all this couldn’t stop Anderson’s quest to ruin this movie prospect.
You know a director must be really bad when he manages to kill not only the Alien franchise but the Predator franchise along with it like a huge plague bearing turd.
The fact is, that it is this complete lack of interest in what the fans actually want which is what makes me hate Anderson’s movies and his lack of talent the most.
I keep hearing him say, ‘I am a fan of the Resident Evil games’, ‘I am a fan of Aliens’, and ‘I am a fan of Predator’. Er, no your not.
I’ve read fanfictions that were more Resident Evil than the dribble that he made. And as for Alien vs Predator, I can name multiple aspects that showed producing a movie comparable to the existing movies in the franchise was not his intension.
Anderson’s utter disrespect for Predator appears in the image of his version of the hunters. Gone are the sleek agile monsters of the previous movies, replaced with steroid-abusing giants who lumber around screen with little resemblance the fan-favorites introduced in the 1980s, and manage to look more like a guy wearing a rubber suit, than the version created twenty yeas ago.
In fact the biggest joke is in the Specials on the DVD of RE2 when they are discussing the games, they even mistakenly call Claire Redfield, one of the game’s central characters, Alice, the completely made up character in their movies. If they are incapable of even remembering the names of the games character’s, then it shows how much attention they appeared to pay the games when producing the movies.
I think it is obvious that instead Anderson chooses series he knows have a cult following. He deliberately choose AvP and RE to turn into movies, knowing that he could do his usual half-baked job yet still have a large existing fan base for the series who will feel obliged to see it.
And that is what annoys me most about Anderson.
Looking at AvP and Resident Evil, I’ll admit both were passable, in fact I may have even enjoyed them if it wasn’t for the fact as a fan of the franchise for years I was angry he was making movies which did not in the slightest resemble them.
If Anderson wants to make up his own stuff, then fine, make Event Horizon, make Soldier, make Sight for all I care. Make your own movies, and do what you want with them, STOP your continual selfishness in taking beloved franchises and butchering them just to increase your DVD sales because your own movies fail like a trailer park spelling Bee.
In conclusion I couldn’t help but recall the tag-line of AvP, the particularly iconic "Whoever wins, we lose." I have a sneaking feeling whoever wrote that phrase wasn’t speaking on behalf of the character’s in the movie, but instead the members of the audience.
The ills of Society – Volume 2: Lack of Manners
Posted by , 16 July 2005 - 11:38 PM
The ills of Society – Volume 2: Lack of Manners
Now I am a student first and foremost. I am a supermarket employ second, as that aspect of my life exists only to pay for my education and my ever out of control anime collection.
So what have I learned from working in the public sector? Well people, I can enlighten you. In 4 years of working for people I can honestly say modern society has no manners.
It’s sad. But true.
I find it very sad that in my line of work that more than half of the people you help have probably never heard of the words ‘thank you’. Rather when you have wasted several minutes of your time showing them an item (time which will result in me taking longer to finish stacking shelves, which in turn will look to my manager as if I’m slow), they either say nothing, taking the item in hand and leave, or give you a grunt.
Very little do you hear the words ‘thank you’ nowadays and it’s a shame.
I can say this however, that manners is not based on age or class. Some of the rudest customers I have had are not teenagers but pensioners, and some of the most polite I’ve had are not adults, but children. Equally I’ve had well spoken individuals treat me like I as an idiot, despite I probably have the highest IQ in the building, while I’ve had people who look like they haven’t changed in days offer a ‘thanks mate’ as they leave. I recall one particular example where some women with a English middle-class accent insisted on speaking to me one-word-at-a-time-very-slowly…
The issues gets even worse when I stop to let people by me in the isles, or for that matter in the street in the real world. Giving way to others when the situation calls for it is the right and polite thing to do. However I constantly find myself being treated as a nonentity, as if I was never there to begin with.
The situation gets slightly better when it comes to doors. Many people do hold doors open for others, however I have found that thanking another for holding a door open for you is pretty rare. Luckily for me I find that university students seem to be capable of it, even if average Joe on the street isn’t.
My question is, why can’t politeness be universal?
In the words of Fraser Crane in series III when he faced a similar issue: “People of Seattle, we are not barbarians!”
Of course like much of society’s ill’s I blame it on society itself. Why not?
Much of the problem is that we in the west seem to have lost the culture of respect. As nations’ our parents are constantly being told not to slap or smack children being of their rights. And if it was bad for the parents its worse for other adults, in my parents days if they were rude to an adult they would be cuffed around the ear, but in today’s society an adult that did that would be locked away, often treated more severely than thugs and hooligans.
In modern society we have become so obsessed with individuality that we seem to have forget society has rules also, and sometimes what’s good for society outranks what’s good for the individual.
In this case the lunatics have taken over the asylum and bleeding hearts have gone and given children so many rights, basic discipline seems to be out the window.
Lets face facts. Children are NOT little adults. Children are young and stupid little animals learning about the society they will eventually take part in through experiences. Letting them away with murder hoping they grow up to be decent people it not the answer. They need rules and adults to put them in their place like all social animals do to be expected to follow societies rules.
We need discipline. This doesn’t require allowing children to be beaten up by uncaring parents, or for their childhood memories to be ruined by dominating adults rather than fun, as the bleeding hearts clam. Rather it simply requires us to return to a stage when children have respect for adults, and perhaps have a healthy fear of the power of adults.
But we don’t have this do we. Instead we see week in week out, stories of out of control children vandalising their local areas, disrupting class, and swearing off at any adult who tries to stop them. Nowadays teachers must constantly worry about being attacked by out of control children, because certainly in our new society, schools are run by the students, as teachers can’t do anything to stop them. I recall one story where a teacher was suspended for assault, when all she did was pull a bully off a smaller kid the bully was beating up. Society truly has gone insane.
Of course, society’s rules are to blame, but they are not alone. Many children like myself grow up to be decent people, why, because my parents raised me that way. My grandfather would have taken a cane to me if he’s heard I was vandalising property, be it ours, someone else’s, or public. My parents were not as strict, but they made sure I was using the words ‘please’, thank you’, and ‘your welcome’ in any situation when dealing with others.
I see that other parents have not done such a great job of parenting. Throughout my work I see children running up and down the stores shouting and screaming. In cinema’s children constantly talk over the movie if they find it boring. They are children understand, and that’s what they do, but any normal adult would tell them to stop it. Unfortunately only a few do.
It makes me thankful for those one in a million kids who run over to pick something up for the adult who dropped it. Save for I and a few others, the ability to stop and help someone pick something up seems a lost art. Only the other week in the train station a woman, fishing through her purse, dropped a dozen coins. I and a 5 year old (who wasn’t the woman’s) were the only ones who helped her locate them, dozens of other were there but lacked the manners to help. How ironic the child had more manners than the parents, who simply looked down at the woman, then turned back to waiting for their train.
Problem is that many adults for all their complaints about children’s behaviour don’t set a proper example. Many adults are pig-headed and think its their god given right to this at that time, no need to thank anyone else for doing something for you, or do something for them.
This then is picked up by the children, who in turn grow to be adults who are pig-headed and think its their god given right to this at that time, no need to thank anyone else for doing something for you, or do something for them.
And the cycle continues.
Luckily there is some small glimmer of hope. In Oxford University graduates were during the 1980s only allowed to pass if they also took part and passed a course in basic manners. Unfortunately the bleeding hearts have closed it down saying its against individual liberties, yet Oxford graduates have been found to be the most courteous when interacting with society.
So why don’t we learn from this?! In Japan schools a stricter than our own, the whole system includes children referring to their teacher’s by the title ‘sensei’ (teacher)! Not cheekily by their first names, or as ‘hey you’ as I seem to remember from my years in school, which were only 5 years ago.
In Japan children stand when their teacher enters the room and bow. In our schools children have so many human rights, it takes the teacher 5 minutes just to get them to shut up.
H*ll even the role models projected on children in their cartoons are completely different. In the west, cartoon heroes like Bart Simpsion, Denis the Menace and so forth are out of control, back at school, and have no respect for adults. Are these really the role models we desire for our children? Yeah in my 5 years of being anime fan I have seen a common trend in children’s anime like Angelic Layer, Card Captor Sakura, Negima, Magical Project S and Fruits Basket; this being the main characters are also young so children can relate, however they are polite, well spoken, want to do well as school, always try their best, would never talk back to an adult, and the show usually seems to revolve around a particular personal issue they are trying to over come, rather than how to play a trick on a unsuspecting adult.
I have many times been told by friends who have visited Japan that the country has no word for ‘graffiti’ and that everyone seems to be in competition over who can apologise for an incident first.
Am I the only one who thinks there is something to be learned here?
People, is common courtesy dead? Is a society of individualist self-centred barbarians truly the future of humanity? Please don’t let it be so. Next time, hold the door open for the person behind you, say thank you to those who go out of their way for you, and next time don’t walk past that person in need.
So, once again returning to Fraser Crane;
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! WE ARE NOT BARABARIANS!
Now I am a student first and foremost. I am a supermarket employ second, as that aspect of my life exists only to pay for my education and my ever out of control anime collection.
So what have I learned from working in the public sector? Well people, I can enlighten you. In 4 years of working for people I can honestly say modern society has no manners.
It’s sad. But true.
I find it very sad that in my line of work that more than half of the people you help have probably never heard of the words ‘thank you’. Rather when you have wasted several minutes of your time showing them an item (time which will result in me taking longer to finish stacking shelves, which in turn will look to my manager as if I’m slow), they either say nothing, taking the item in hand and leave, or give you a grunt.
Very little do you hear the words ‘thank you’ nowadays and it’s a shame.
I can say this however, that manners is not based on age or class. Some of the rudest customers I have had are not teenagers but pensioners, and some of the most polite I’ve had are not adults, but children. Equally I’ve had well spoken individuals treat me like I as an idiot, despite I probably have the highest IQ in the building, while I’ve had people who look like they haven’t changed in days offer a ‘thanks mate’ as they leave. I recall one particular example where some women with a English middle-class accent insisted on speaking to me one-word-at-a-time-very-slowly…
The issues gets even worse when I stop to let people by me in the isles, or for that matter in the street in the real world. Giving way to others when the situation calls for it is the right and polite thing to do. However I constantly find myself being treated as a nonentity, as if I was never there to begin with.
The situation gets slightly better when it comes to doors. Many people do hold doors open for others, however I have found that thanking another for holding a door open for you is pretty rare. Luckily for me I find that university students seem to be capable of it, even if average Joe on the street isn’t.
My question is, why can’t politeness be universal?
In the words of Fraser Crane in series III when he faced a similar issue: “People of Seattle, we are not barbarians!”
Of course like much of society’s ill’s I blame it on society itself. Why not?
Much of the problem is that we in the west seem to have lost the culture of respect. As nations’ our parents are constantly being told not to slap or smack children being of their rights. And if it was bad for the parents its worse for other adults, in my parents days if they were rude to an adult they would be cuffed around the ear, but in today’s society an adult that did that would be locked away, often treated more severely than thugs and hooligans.
In modern society we have become so obsessed with individuality that we seem to have forget society has rules also, and sometimes what’s good for society outranks what’s good for the individual.
In this case the lunatics have taken over the asylum and bleeding hearts have gone and given children so many rights, basic discipline seems to be out the window.
Lets face facts. Children are NOT little adults. Children are young and stupid little animals learning about the society they will eventually take part in through experiences. Letting them away with murder hoping they grow up to be decent people it not the answer. They need rules and adults to put them in their place like all social animals do to be expected to follow societies rules.
We need discipline. This doesn’t require allowing children to be beaten up by uncaring parents, or for their childhood memories to be ruined by dominating adults rather than fun, as the bleeding hearts clam. Rather it simply requires us to return to a stage when children have respect for adults, and perhaps have a healthy fear of the power of adults.
But we don’t have this do we. Instead we see week in week out, stories of out of control children vandalising their local areas, disrupting class, and swearing off at any adult who tries to stop them. Nowadays teachers must constantly worry about being attacked by out of control children, because certainly in our new society, schools are run by the students, as teachers can’t do anything to stop them. I recall one story where a teacher was suspended for assault, when all she did was pull a bully off a smaller kid the bully was beating up. Society truly has gone insane.
Of course, society’s rules are to blame, but they are not alone. Many children like myself grow up to be decent people, why, because my parents raised me that way. My grandfather would have taken a cane to me if he’s heard I was vandalising property, be it ours, someone else’s, or public. My parents were not as strict, but they made sure I was using the words ‘please’, thank you’, and ‘your welcome’ in any situation when dealing with others.
I see that other parents have not done such a great job of parenting. Throughout my work I see children running up and down the stores shouting and screaming. In cinema’s children constantly talk over the movie if they find it boring. They are children understand, and that’s what they do, but any normal adult would tell them to stop it. Unfortunately only a few do.
It makes me thankful for those one in a million kids who run over to pick something up for the adult who dropped it. Save for I and a few others, the ability to stop and help someone pick something up seems a lost art. Only the other week in the train station a woman, fishing through her purse, dropped a dozen coins. I and a 5 year old (who wasn’t the woman’s) were the only ones who helped her locate them, dozens of other were there but lacked the manners to help. How ironic the child had more manners than the parents, who simply looked down at the woman, then turned back to waiting for their train.
Problem is that many adults for all their complaints about children’s behaviour don’t set a proper example. Many adults are pig-headed and think its their god given right to this at that time, no need to thank anyone else for doing something for you, or do something for them.
This then is picked up by the children, who in turn grow to be adults who are pig-headed and think its their god given right to this at that time, no need to thank anyone else for doing something for you, or do something for them.
And the cycle continues.
Luckily there is some small glimmer of hope. In Oxford University graduates were during the 1980s only allowed to pass if they also took part and passed a course in basic manners. Unfortunately the bleeding hearts have closed it down saying its against individual liberties, yet Oxford graduates have been found to be the most courteous when interacting with society.
So why don’t we learn from this?! In Japan schools a stricter than our own, the whole system includes children referring to their teacher’s by the title ‘sensei’ (teacher)! Not cheekily by their first names, or as ‘hey you’ as I seem to remember from my years in school, which were only 5 years ago.
In Japan children stand when their teacher enters the room and bow. In our schools children have so many human rights, it takes the teacher 5 minutes just to get them to shut up.
H*ll even the role models projected on children in their cartoons are completely different. In the west, cartoon heroes like Bart Simpsion, Denis the Menace and so forth are out of control, back at school, and have no respect for adults. Are these really the role models we desire for our children? Yeah in my 5 years of being anime fan I have seen a common trend in children’s anime like Angelic Layer, Card Captor Sakura, Negima, Magical Project S and Fruits Basket; this being the main characters are also young so children can relate, however they are polite, well spoken, want to do well as school, always try their best, would never talk back to an adult, and the show usually seems to revolve around a particular personal issue they are trying to over come, rather than how to play a trick on a unsuspecting adult.
I have many times been told by friends who have visited Japan that the country has no word for ‘graffiti’ and that everyone seems to be in competition over who can apologise for an incident first.
Am I the only one who thinks there is something to be learned here?
People, is common courtesy dead? Is a society of individualist self-centred barbarians truly the future of humanity? Please don’t let it be so. Next time, hold the door open for the person behind you, say thank you to those who go out of their way for you, and next time don’t walk past that person in need.
So, once again returning to Fraser Crane;
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! WE ARE NOT BARABARIANS!
The ills of Society – Volume 1: The Ned
Posted by , 16 July 2005 - 02:40 AM
The ills of Society – Volume 1: The Ned
In this brief post I wish to convey a little issue that is very close to my heart, and often comes to mind when thinking of the problems facing modern society.
Known under various names and insults across the world, from Chav to Hood, I personally am familiar with the Scottish breed. In this case, known simply as the common Ned (Non-Educated Delinquent).
In the end however, no matter how plain, or fanciful…. or notorious the name, Neds of all various nations can also be described in a single phrase – ‘plague of society’.
Neds are generally recognisable instantly by their clothing preference. Neds tend to wear shell suits and baseball caps, a fashion trend they refer to as ‘gear’. Furthermore they tend to travel in groups, hogging up the road and generally making the area they are in completely unappealing to normal people. They can span across all age groups, but normally the teenage Ned, in either gender is the most noticeable on the streets, usually as the adult Neds are drunk on the sofa at home. Neds are very vocal, and often will be heard before seen. Normally slang will be in common use within the group and swearing will be used to any outsider who has the misfortune of passing by. And finally if you enter a conversation with one, you will likely find them to generally not be that bright; so much so that the common Ned probably never successfully finished school… only got out on default by age. Hence why we call then Non-Educated Delinquents.
So, they roam in groups, not that bright, overuse colourful adjectives and have poor dress sense, but is it anyone else’s business?
Well unfortunately yes. Earlier I referred to them as a plague, and that’s what they truly are. Setting aside for a moment that they breed in swarms, they are the chief instigator of crime and disobedience in otherwise good areas.
That is not to say they are responsible for well thought-out, well planned, and well organised bank raids, or international syndication. No, that’s too high up the skill level for a Ned. Rather the Ned’s focus on more local, generalized crime such as mugging, vandalism, verbal harassment, drunken brawls, and burglary. Essentially they are responsible for the crime which most of us are gong to be directly affected by in our lives.
The situation is so bad that in London children as young as ten are being fined for under-age drinking. 10! At that age they should be in school preparing for the future, not getting drunk and wasting police time.
Of course this type of anti-social behaviour is nothing new. For decades we have seen, on police footage, officers trying to do their jobs and move on drunk or abusive gangs loitering in areas and scaring the locals. In the series Street Wars where the camera crew follows real officers on their rounds is anything to go by its getting worse than better.
An episode cannot pass without several cases of gangs flipping the finger, swearing and sometimes even attacking the police. They have no respect for authority, and know society is too weak to punish them.
The reaction could not be more different from when normal people are moved on. I’ve been there, I’ve been drunk, on a street corner and moved on. I was simply with some friends at a nightclub and didn’t want to go home in case we woke up my parents. Instead we stood round the corner chatting. The police turned up after a few hours, turns out we were rather loud
. But our behaviour to the police was drastically different. We addressed them as ‘sir’ or ‘officer’, we apologised, explained we didn’t mean to be a disturbance and moved on. And we were still drunk, yet we behaved in a proper manner. Neds are incapable of this.
And sickeningly enough its not just the police they show no respect for. Often I remember back to the story I read years ago where a WW2 war veteran came home from shopping to find Neds had broken into his house and stolen all his war medals, he was so upset he died of a heart attack on his way to the police station. And it wasn’t too long ago I seem to remember reading bout Neds beating an old woman to death for the £10 in her purse.
And of course, Ned humour is very…. Unique. Lets not forget this story I posted at the end of last year;
And of course they love sport. Or rather that’s what these ‘humans’ call using air guns to shoot at the emergency services. The most common form this takes is setting a neighbour’s car on fire, waiting for the firemen to arrive and take pot shots at them. All fun and games the Neds think, and the bleeding hearts who defend them. Yet, in March 2005 a Ned partaking in this …sport… shot dead in Glasgow a 2 year-old boy going to a chipshop with his brother while targeting firemen. Needless to say the Ned was arrested, however the only punishment that took place was the confiscation of his gun, no criminal charges were pressed. After all the bleeding hearts scream, he was targeting the firemen, the death of the baby is just an unfortunate accident that comes part in parcel of this great Ned sport. And by ironic timing a similar incident happened only a week later, the child survived this time, but again the Ned walked away the winner as the system once again failed the decent people of society.
As I once said back in the forum on June 10 2005: “You know societies really going to pot when Neds who shoot firemen for fun aren’t sent to jail, even when they hit babies a few streets away.”
Oh and lets not forget the breeding. With no self control, or common sense, the common Ned is quite willing to bred regardless of whether they can afford more children or there tiny homes can hold them.
At my work I have the unfortunate habit of seeing Neds often…. Woe is me
A while back I recall seeing a Ned family shopping. It consisted of a young man in traditional ‘gear’, along side a young female in ‘gear’. They couldn’t have been more than early 20s. The man was swearing openly about ‘**** this price’ and **** that price. The woman was pregnant…. And pushing a pram. And following them were three children. Two boys, one girl, all under 6, all wearing ‘gear’… the little girl even had the shell suit in pink.
Two weeks ago I dealt with a young female, 14 or 15 thereabouts, with a baby in the pram looking for a pregnancy kit. At the other end of the isle was another teenage male in ‘gear’, who looked up from what he was doing and shouted ‘YOU GOT THOSE ******** THINGS YET!”... I pity that baby, and hope upon hope she wasn’t pregnant.
Yes indeed people I have a low opinion of stupid little girls who get pregnant, but I can understand it happening once. However the Ned dream of doubling the western population within the first few years after puberty scares me.
Personally if I was made unquestioned overlord of the nation tomorrow I’d have the older ones shot, the teenaged ones sterilized, the child one’s dragged back to school and caned every time they opened their mouths not in answer to a teacher’s question, and the babies taken into care.
But before we end, the bleeding hearts who defend them deserve their own paragraph don’t they?
Yes, of course.
Way back in 1999, newly elected MP Rosie Kane declaring in her first day of office that the word Ned should be banned, as it caused discrimination. Get stuffed.
The word Ned is simply a shortened, very precise term which accurately describes them. It’s the summing up of anti-social behaviour and the easiest way to rid yourself of the title is to get on the right side of the law.
Of course Kane’s argument is hardly surprising. We’re talking about a women who proudly announced sometime after that she’s had only read 5 books in her life, that’s including those in school.
Another bleeding heart MP, Carolyn Leckie, said of Communities Minister Margaret Curran who in 2003 demanded a crackdown on Neds, that ``Does Margaret Curran want these people to be disappeared in the same way the street children of Brazil do, hunted down by gangs of vigilantes? Our young people must be included in Scottish society, not outrageously demonised as a ``plague''.''
Again, grow up and take a look around. Being young does not equal Ned, neither does the title demonise them. Neds are scum, pure and simple. They are anti-social. They cause crime. They cause people to fear stepping outside their houses. They ARE a plague.
And it’s about time we found the cure.
In this brief post I wish to convey a little issue that is very close to my heart, and often comes to mind when thinking of the problems facing modern society.
Known under various names and insults across the world, from Chav to Hood, I personally am familiar with the Scottish breed. In this case, known simply as the common Ned (Non-Educated Delinquent).
In the end however, no matter how plain, or fanciful…. or notorious the name, Neds of all various nations can also be described in a single phrase – ‘plague of society’.
Neds are generally recognisable instantly by their clothing preference. Neds tend to wear shell suits and baseball caps, a fashion trend they refer to as ‘gear’. Furthermore they tend to travel in groups, hogging up the road and generally making the area they are in completely unappealing to normal people. They can span across all age groups, but normally the teenage Ned, in either gender is the most noticeable on the streets, usually as the adult Neds are drunk on the sofa at home. Neds are very vocal, and often will be heard before seen. Normally slang will be in common use within the group and swearing will be used to any outsider who has the misfortune of passing by. And finally if you enter a conversation with one, you will likely find them to generally not be that bright; so much so that the common Ned probably never successfully finished school… only got out on default by age. Hence why we call then Non-Educated Delinquents.
So, they roam in groups, not that bright, overuse colourful adjectives and have poor dress sense, but is it anyone else’s business?
Well unfortunately yes. Earlier I referred to them as a plague, and that’s what they truly are. Setting aside for a moment that they breed in swarms, they are the chief instigator of crime and disobedience in otherwise good areas.
That is not to say they are responsible for well thought-out, well planned, and well organised bank raids, or international syndication. No, that’s too high up the skill level for a Ned. Rather the Ned’s focus on more local, generalized crime such as mugging, vandalism, verbal harassment, drunken brawls, and burglary. Essentially they are responsible for the crime which most of us are gong to be directly affected by in our lives.
The situation is so bad that in London children as young as ten are being fined for under-age drinking. 10! At that age they should be in school preparing for the future, not getting drunk and wasting police time.
Of course this type of anti-social behaviour is nothing new. For decades we have seen, on police footage, officers trying to do their jobs and move on drunk or abusive gangs loitering in areas and scaring the locals. In the series Street Wars where the camera crew follows real officers on their rounds is anything to go by its getting worse than better.
An episode cannot pass without several cases of gangs flipping the finger, swearing and sometimes even attacking the police. They have no respect for authority, and know society is too weak to punish them.
The reaction could not be more different from when normal people are moved on. I’ve been there, I’ve been drunk, on a street corner and moved on. I was simply with some friends at a nightclub and didn’t want to go home in case we woke up my parents. Instead we stood round the corner chatting. The police turned up after a few hours, turns out we were rather loud
. But our behaviour to the police was drastically different. We addressed them as ‘sir’ or ‘officer’, we apologised, explained we didn’t mean to be a disturbance and moved on. And we were still drunk, yet we behaved in a proper manner. Neds are incapable of this.And sickeningly enough its not just the police they show no respect for. Often I remember back to the story I read years ago where a WW2 war veteran came home from shopping to find Neds had broken into his house and stolen all his war medals, he was so upset he died of a heart attack on his way to the police station. And it wasn’t too long ago I seem to remember reading bout Neds beating an old woman to death for the £10 in her purse.
And of course, Ned humour is very…. Unique. Lets not forget this story I posted at the end of last year;
QUOTE
"Imagine the joy of passengers on the No.38 when female Ned dropped her breeks and urinated on the floor while her friends roared in approval. Is it possible that Neds are sponsored by car companies to make public transport so unbearable that everyone is forced to drive?”
Lola, Glasgow
Metro 2004-10-01
Lola, Glasgow
Metro 2004-10-01
And of course they love sport. Or rather that’s what these ‘humans’ call using air guns to shoot at the emergency services. The most common form this takes is setting a neighbour’s car on fire, waiting for the firemen to arrive and take pot shots at them. All fun and games the Neds think, and the bleeding hearts who defend them. Yet, in March 2005 a Ned partaking in this …sport… shot dead in Glasgow a 2 year-old boy going to a chipshop with his brother while targeting firemen. Needless to say the Ned was arrested, however the only punishment that took place was the confiscation of his gun, no criminal charges were pressed. After all the bleeding hearts scream, he was targeting the firemen, the death of the baby is just an unfortunate accident that comes part in parcel of this great Ned sport. And by ironic timing a similar incident happened only a week later, the child survived this time, but again the Ned walked away the winner as the system once again failed the decent people of society.
As I once said back in the forum on June 10 2005: “You know societies really going to pot when Neds who shoot firemen for fun aren’t sent to jail, even when they hit babies a few streets away.”
Oh and lets not forget the breeding. With no self control, or common sense, the common Ned is quite willing to bred regardless of whether they can afford more children or there tiny homes can hold them.
At my work I have the unfortunate habit of seeing Neds often…. Woe is me
A while back I recall seeing a Ned family shopping. It consisted of a young man in traditional ‘gear’, along side a young female in ‘gear’. They couldn’t have been more than early 20s. The man was swearing openly about ‘**** this price’ and **** that price. The woman was pregnant…. And pushing a pram. And following them were three children. Two boys, one girl, all under 6, all wearing ‘gear’… the little girl even had the shell suit in pink.
Two weeks ago I dealt with a young female, 14 or 15 thereabouts, with a baby in the pram looking for a pregnancy kit. At the other end of the isle was another teenage male in ‘gear’, who looked up from what he was doing and shouted ‘YOU GOT THOSE ******** THINGS YET!”... I pity that baby, and hope upon hope she wasn’t pregnant.
Yes indeed people I have a low opinion of stupid little girls who get pregnant, but I can understand it happening once. However the Ned dream of doubling the western population within the first few years after puberty scares me.
Personally if I was made unquestioned overlord of the nation tomorrow I’d have the older ones shot, the teenaged ones sterilized, the child one’s dragged back to school and caned every time they opened their mouths not in answer to a teacher’s question, and the babies taken into care.
But before we end, the bleeding hearts who defend them deserve their own paragraph don’t they?
Yes, of course.
Way back in 1999, newly elected MP Rosie Kane declaring in her first day of office that the word Ned should be banned, as it caused discrimination. Get stuffed.
The word Ned is simply a shortened, very precise term which accurately describes them. It’s the summing up of anti-social behaviour and the easiest way to rid yourself of the title is to get on the right side of the law.
Of course Kane’s argument is hardly surprising. We’re talking about a women who proudly announced sometime after that she’s had only read 5 books in her life, that’s including those in school.
Another bleeding heart MP, Carolyn Leckie, said of Communities Minister Margaret Curran who in 2003 demanded a crackdown on Neds, that ``Does Margaret Curran want these people to be disappeared in the same way the street children of Brazil do, hunted down by gangs of vigilantes? Our young people must be included in Scottish society, not outrageously demonised as a ``plague''.''
Again, grow up and take a look around. Being young does not equal Ned, neither does the title demonise them. Neds are scum, pure and simple. They are anti-social. They cause crime. They cause people to fear stepping outside their houses. They ARE a plague.
And it’s about time we found the cure.
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