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Ahem...

Yes, it's me. And yes, it's been forever. (do any of you still know me? ) Anyway, I've abducted the computer here for a while and will post an update.

Let's see in the time that I've been here I've been living in Yellowstone and Grand Canyon National Parks, working mainly as a retail system trainer (it's dull, you don't want to know). My computer time, despite what the title suggests, has been limited. Even worse, most of the time, internet's blocked. But I've have lots of wonderful wilderness time. For one thing, I was finally was able to get some pics of wolves, which for those of you know me, is a big effing deal.

Here, I will share some of my adventures (And no, the wolves aren't tame, even if they have collars--- they are radio tracking devices )







this not the Grand Canyon--- it's actually Canyonlands in Utah.





There are tons more, but jeez, all the space....

Hi everyone! *kiss, kiss,love,love* There has been much missing of UM on my part. First my parent's computer burned up, then my aunt adopted a Russian baby and I had to go Atlanta to stay with them and help (no kidding), then I started the packing, and now comes the move on Saturday. Whew, it's been nuts.

I'm going to go through and read a bunch of blogs so I can catch up with you all!

Oh, I started a myspace account today, so anyone interested in being my friend, let me know!

So I guess I should say something.

Ok, here is what I have going on: 1.) American Idol & House. Sad, I know, and this is only the first season of Idol I've seen, but I'm hooked. However, it's nothing like my devotion to House.

2.) Working. Putting in lots of hours, but the work is fun and I like tips. Money in the pocket immediately.

3.) Planning the move. The date of departure looks to be April 7th, which is a little sooner than expected. I'm really excited because my cousin in Telluride, CO has told me my friends and I can crash at his place and spend of couple of days there on our way through. He is friends with some big-shot people since Telluride is super-yuppieville, so I will try not to be all country-cousin. I hope I can behave myself.

Man, this is really boring.

It took 26 years, but it finally happened.

Today I had my first cavity filled at the dentist. I've always been able to brag that I've never had any dental work done (besides cleanings and such), and apparently my vanity caught up with me.

Alas...

So I went to a concert last night and imbibed a bit. It was a good show and a great time. However, whilst getting around this morning, I noticed my check card was missing from my wallet.

Sigh...

So I call the music hall and no one has turned it in.

I stop by my bank to check the charges, but no one is using it yet.

So I finally call my bank's 1-800 # and have them cancel it, just to be safe. Have to change over all my direct deductions, too, which is a pain.

Well, not 5 minutes after getting off the phone with my bank, I am digging my purse to get my friend a pen, and what do I pull out?

Yup, my check card.

D'oh!

Hi everyone! How's it going for folks? Tell me all your biggest news!

Update on me: It's been a busy transition for me here in south Jawjuh (Georgia for you non-natives). I've been working a couple of different jobs (no sense not taking advantage of no bills, right?) and trying to get all my crap stored and sorted. I'd forgotten how much this town is a black hole when it comes to entertainment, though. God, it's like a Mayberry filled with bigots and religious fanatics.

Oh, and my parents' internet connection is CRAP. Hello, 38bps dial-up.

Hmm... I'm taking this week to do some traveling. Going to Birmingham, AL and back to Tennessee to see some folks and get business stuff taken care of, things like doctors' appointments and closing out my credit union account and rolling over my 401k.

And eating sushi and drinking good beer, both of which are being denied me here.

Oh, and seeing a concert. Son Volt, an awesome (and underrated) band is playing Tuesday night at one of the clubs in Chattie. Very excited!

Ok, that's about all worth typing out. I'll leave you all with a pic of my couch potato Sierra.

Well, I have arrived in the flatlands of southern Georgia. Pardon my complete and total lack of enthusiasm for it.

My happy news: my friends all pitched in together for a going away present and bought me a really nice digital camera and printer combo so I can document my grand adventure in the Spring. As soon as I get all pieces out and the software loaded onto the computer I will be able to share some fun pictures from a couple of my going away parties.

I know everyone is excited.

So what all have I missed exciting in the world of UM?

Greetings all! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and is finding the new year a good one. Mine was generally nice, but I've been super-duper busy.

Tomorrow finishes up my move from my apartment. It's been an annoyingly long and drawn out process, and I am getting crazy living amongst boxes and empty shelves. I'll be in transition for a little over a week, living with friends and such.

Tonight my gang is all meeting together for one last hurrah out and then all get up in the morning to load my furniture into a moving truck. I think by the time they move the last of my heavy-ass stuff they will be glad to see me go. But I've got a fridge stocked with nothing but beer and will buy some pizzas, so they can't complain too much.

Well, that's my little update. Hope my peeps are all doing great, and I promise to be back on more frequently in a couple of weeks.

Jenn

I officially have 3 weeks left of my job. My work ethic is not at it's peak here. Added to this, I am swamped from having strep throat all last week (oh yeah, just in case anyone was wondering what had happened to me for a while, that was it ) and not coming to work.

Sigh.

But at least my move is pending! Can't wait!!!

Gotta love the Onion:

Why Does Everybody Hate Me?

By Satan
November 23, 2005 | Issue 41•47

I've tried, I really have, but nothing ever goes right for me. Everywhere I go, it's the same thing: people talking about me like I'm not even there, saying how terrible I am. Telling other people not to walk in my path. Urging that I be shunned and reviled, and commanding me in the name of all that is holy to get myself behind them. I swear, sometimes it seems like everybody thinks I'm the worst entity in creation.

I'm not that bad a guy, okay? I have my flaws, but I'll have you know I used to be considered quite the golden boy back in my day. Do you even know what the name Lucifer means? Depending on how it's translated, it can be "Bright And Shining One" or "Bringer Of Light," or all kinds of pretty names. I'm telling you, I was the fairest star in the firmament once. The only reason I even got kicked out Heaven in the first place is because I was more beautiful than God.

Yeah, well, now look at me. I can't even possess a lousy 10-year-old girl without some geezer in a white collar screaming "The power of Christ compels you!" in my face and insisting that I leave immediately. Look, I just want to connect with a human being for a little while! Levitate a few beds, spin a couple necks around, have some deep, throaty laughs. Is that so wrong? Everybody treats me like some kind of lowlife just because I'm the symbolic embodiment of all the evil in the universe.

Have you heard the things they call me? I can take a good-natured ribbing as much as the next guy, but some of these names are just so mean. Do you have any idea how it feels to be called the "Lord Of Lies"? Ouch. Look, I may be mankind's greatest fears and weaknesses made flesh, but my feelings can get hurt just like anybody else's. "Prince Of Darkness"? How would you feel if everybody called you "The Defiler," or "The Despoiler," or "The Unclean One"? It's not my fault that my terrifying visage erupts into suppurating boils when exposed to the holy light of truth and righteousness. It's hideous enough without people always needing to rub it in.

I'll bet I'm the most despised and hated being in the whole wide world. I even wrote a poem about it once in my creative-writing class, but when I read it out loud, everybody just laughed at me. I only took that class to make friends, but even the biggest dorks there reacted to my very presence with visceral repulsion. I'm telling you, I felt like the lowest of the low. The only way I could get anyone to talk to me was by promising this one guy I'd make his stupid legal thrillers into bestsellers in exchange for his immortal soul. Now he's had a string of hit movie adaptations and I'll bet I don't even hear word one from him until he shows up mewling and begging at the gateway to the underworld.

Oh sure, there are the occasional few who want to be my acolytes, but come on. I mean, have you seen these people? They're plain weird. Sure, they say that the reason they're into me is because they're rejecting society's small-minded notions of petty morality and embracing a world where "do as thou wilt" shall be the whole of the law, but it's pretty obvious that they're really just mad that nobody else in the corporeal realm wants anything to do with them.

I was sort of excited by the ones from the Norwegian black metal scene at first, though. I thought, "Finally, some worshippers who, if nothing else, at least have the balls to burn down a 900-year-old church." Some of them even had girlfriends. But that wore off pretty quick after I caught a few shows. For people who've supposedly sold their souls to the devil, these guys couldn't put together a tune for sh**. I mean, I sure as hell didn't trade them any guitar skills down at the crossroads—or whatever the hell the Norwegian folklore equivalent would be—and from the sound of their records, nobody else did either. Let's just admit it—black metal is lame.

And while we're on the subject of my mortal followers, don't believe a word you hear about all these so-called "spawn of Satan"—that phrase gets thrown around quite a bit, but believe you me, most women won't even come near me. I guess I've never really known how to show affection. But I have needs too, you know! I just wish I could meet a nice virgin half-goat woman who totally gets me. But every time I get involved with a receptacle for my seed, it always ends badly.

The only person who understands me is my friend Gene. Sure, he knows I'm a mythical representation of all the tragic and self-defeating fallibility inherent in the human condition, but he doesn't judge me for it. Lately though, I hardly ever get to see him. Ever since he settled down, he's spending more and more time with his wife and kid. I know he's busy, but I miss him. He was an okay enough guy... not quite evil enough for my tastes, maybe, but an okay guy all the same.

http://www.theonion....tent/node/42827