There are days when my heart is restless, un-rooted,
Torn from the earth hanging in frigid air,
Seeking once again a simple place of refuge, and peace,
Often denied as I wander empty and sometimes frantic.
The world seen as faded, without energy, unrelated,
So I wander from thing to thing,
Object to object,
As an orphan seeking a home, warmth, and belonging.
Neither books, nor food, nor music, nor prayer consoles,
Like an earth bound soul I wander,
The spirits inward cold, seeking warmth,
I cry out
Until I simply stop, sit, wait,
Heart open, expectant.
Eyes closed focused on the inner darkness,
Simply being with no thought of release,
Waiting in faith unfelt, engulfed in emptiness,
I slowly find inner peace
Suddenly the barrier dissipates,
Frigid winter over as light returns,
Grace freely given
I am home.
I never left, is the lesson I never seem to learn,
Like a child I cry out when I feel left alone,
The beloved hiding,
Drawing by closer by my inner anguish, and hidden tears.