Tar baby effect
Not allowing oneself to be a victim can be hard work, since it precludes self-pity, well at least for any length of time. A little self-pity may not be so bad, after all no one else will take up that job. If prolonged however it can be addictive in its hold. It is not positive thinking, it is reality, to understand that one can always start over, and also take some responsibility for the situation being experienced. Self-defense and self-pity is a sure way to get stuck in a tar baby so big, that getting untangled after it becomes a habit becomes almost impossible.
I am of course speaking of my own interior struggles here.