(2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
What you deal with on a daily basis. That which comes up over and over again; cycles of frustration as well as deep inner struggle. Also what others tell us but perhaps the truth of their statements are fought and denied…..this messiness, the humiliation of failure, it is in these areas of the life that make up the spiritual path. It is not about consolation, perfection, or being better than others, no, it is about the death to aspects of our selves that are manifested in our moral struggles, but the root is often deeper. This simple but difficult truth is what slowly leads most of those who seek deeper relationship with God and an ever deeper openness to grace, to slow healing and a deepening ability to love others as well as themselves; within the turmoil. In this process, the need to judge others is no longer present, or if it is, it diminishes with time. Self knowledge leads to humility, which leads to compassion for others who also have their own hidden struggles. Failure is part of it, getting up most important, and to look upward and not to get stuck in neurotic-guilt; which is a waste of time and a useless diversion. True guilt leads to change, to seeking if possible to make things right with those we have harmed, while on the other hand, neurotic guilt is just a dog chasing its tail leading nowhere. The new life that Jesus calls us to can’t be experienced unless there is radical self knowledge and trust in infinite love and compassion. As well as the death to all the crap piled up on us by cultural and yes at times, by religious indoctrination.
Oh Lord that I may see as you saw,
beyond labels but deeper,
to see the heart of those I meet,
and the understanding
that we are all in need of mercy,
healing and yes the experience
of being seen and not boxed in.