Should We choose our Childs Religion?

[+Link of Hyrule]

You cannot force anyone to "choose" our religion.

As hyper pointed out, it would be good to teach all religions and faiths to your child. Unfortunately, whatever we teach will be colored by our own faith. I can teach someone about Buddhism, but it will be clear that I do not see that as the true path and I can teach Christianity, and it will be immediately apparent that I believe it to be truth.

A practicing Christian cannot help but impose their own belief's on a child. If my wife and I (assuming I was married and had a child of course ) go to church, what are we to do? Leave our six year old at home alone? Tell them that what they hear in Sunday school may not be the truth, even though we believe it is?

You know what I'm saying......

Until next time,

[hyperactive]

BFG,

you are correct that separating your beliefs from your teachings is difficult. logic dicates that one separate the teacher from the lesson though. teach your children to think logically and for themselves first and foremost. a smoker telling you smoking is bad does not negate the message, even though an illogical response is "but you do it".

i think today it is getting easier to teach children the many different belief structures out there thanks to increased multiculturalism and the internet (?). When i was growing up i was the "odd one out" to say the least to be exposed to eastern philosophy/religion at an early age (amung other topics). Perhaps my parents were just ! It is true that most people raise their children in a limited fashion based on the premis that what they believe is the correct belief (even if they have never experienced anything else). Nothing is more permiating than ignorance.

I really do see a parent's role wrt education being that of a guide who opens as many doors as possible for the child (and encourages travel through those doors), but ultimately allows the child to find his/her own path. Being humble is not easy. Allowing a student to challenge you is not easy. I think that the best teachers are those that allow the student to challenge. Anything less is more akin to indoctorination into a way of thought. I personally think people NEED to see things from multiple perspectives to understand anything (and need to understand how to dismiss preconditioning).

It is ultimately a battle against our own biology. We become ingrained because it is efficient. We need to always exercise our fluidity of thought.

[+Sherapy]

I know my example teaches my children, I have to be on my toes to get past my kids, my kids don't miss a thing, I have an older child grown and gone and two younger and believe me if I learned anything our kids are us for awhile until they begin define themselves. I was my parents to at one time until I saw it wasn't working and the hardest thimg I did was take responsibility and think for myself. I agree with you Hyperactive you need to be diverse and constantly check yourself because these will be adults one day contributing to the betterment of mankind. This isn't an easy answer subject,(all parents do their best based on their understandings) I myself cannot support a religion I myself am not over joyed and happy about, I think by example I can set an example of Gratitude and happiness and a joy for life and truthfulness, and kindness for others and generosity of heart.

[Byuu94]

One of the problems with teaching children about religion is that most religions believe that their religion is the only way. So no matter what religious background you have, you'll tend to put your own religion in a better light than the others. I really have my own beliefs and don't really belong to any grouping whatsoever. However, I do believe that all religions are just different paths to the same summit.

[PadawanOsswe]

when I have kids, I plan on leading them in the christian faith, encourage them to study scripture,etc... and ultimatly their choice of faith will be their own.

I was talking to my dad a while back cause I felt that I wasnt (for lack of better words) devout enough. he told me something like "its allright, all kids will be bored about religion, they wanna do other things besides sitting an hour or so in church. enjoy your childhood because somewhere along the boarderline of late teen/adulthood the dependence on a faith will kick in".

[whoa182]

How can you let them decide if you never teach them. Teach them while their young then once they get older they are on their own then they decide I say.

699708[/snapback]

Nah thats not right at all. That is like hard wiring it into their brain. training them into a religion. Children do not really understand religion at all. Most kids will mindlessly follow any religion they are given by their parents in thinking that its actually important in life and you can't life without it.

As a person matures they should then be taught about religion.

There is absaloutly no point in teaching religion to a child. Unless you want to train them into your way of thinking.

Lets say there is a kid named bobby. Hes a few months old. Do you baptise bobby? Did boby ask for this ? -- I think not.

Now little bobby is five. What are you going to do? Say to him " hey heres a few religions, study them and decide which you want to follow"

Thats ridiculous and even tho little bobby can read the stuff on these religions, he will never really grasp and understand the bigger picture.

There is no need for religion in a childs life. Im sure its well worth learning about in later life. probably high school. or at around 12 years of age.

And I don't believe that a parents should be stamping a religion on a childs head when they are born.

Edited June 30, 2005 by whoa182

[+Link of Hyrule]

Some good points, Whoa. I do not like infant baptism. It serves no purpose and often only gets in the way of true worship of God.

I also agree that it would be good to let a child decide about religion later in life. However it is simply not practical. If I go to church every Sunday with my hypothetical wife and hypothetical 7 year old, am I to tell them not to listen in Sunday School because it might not be the right thing for them when they get older.

Or am I to leave my hypothetical child at home alone for fear of indoctrination.

Just a thought. All the best,

[hyperactive]

also note BFG, the indoctorinated are not going to think about it the way you just put it.

[+Link of Hyrule]

But of course

[Mr Slayer]

The only respectable Christians are the Baptists, who baptise adults which have chosen their fate themselves and who haven't got brainwashed as children.

[Ashley-Star*Child]

This is a personal question really, and something which was bought up before and turned into a flame war.

Personally, when and if I have children, I'd raise them with my beliefs. If they, of their own free will decided to choose differently, it's their own perogative, I'm not a dictator. I believe faith should be of your own free will, otherwise what's the point?. You should really mean it, not lip service it.

Having said that, I have a diverse religious background. Both my parents are Christian, but my father is Orthodox, my mother RC. My mother tried out Buddhism for a while (but still believed in God), and we started pracicing Judaism when I was about 13. So, I was Baptised Orthodox, then I was, as much as I and my mother pleaded in my Catholic school's convent, to make my Communion, refused. Yes, They refused to give me Communion, I still have no idea why. However, the revoked tht and finally, alowed me to make my Communion and the priest who ultimately was behind th objection got sent away for 'solitude' elsewhere. Made my Confirmation in 6th grade, not long after my mother looked into Buddhism, and after that we started Judaism. However, we still, obviously believed in Jesus. So really, it's a mixture of both religions. And since then I've found many lost books, so my beliefs are quite diverse. The bottom line is I believe in God, I believe Jesus as His Son, Mary, angels, saints, but I follow the rules of od as they are actually written and do not accept the man-made rule additions. I can make up my own mind.

[+Sherapy]

Ashley that was a very beautiful post, I have children they ask lots of questions

We are spiritual which basically means that We come up with our own ideas about God based on personal experience and tht God lives within. I love Buddism and many of the eastern religions yet I have also found truth and beauty everywhere, I don't believe sacredness is found in one place, God is all there is to me. I believe all paths lead to god. We would never dream of insisting our children believe like us (of course the main messages of how I live my life will rub off) I have rock solid trust in God and I know that whatever path my kid is on God is with them and they will get to God. I feel the creator knows whats she is doing .

[101]

I believe we as parents should guide our child(ren) in the right path. Not necessarily religion but with good morals. I know I was raised Christian. But I also could have choosen to become a different one if I chose. But as a child I knew that this is what was right. I just decided to be a christian. I don't know much about other religions. But I do a little now. I think all are interesting. But we have to pick what is right to us.

[dmgspycat]

In my family this is a big deal, Should we as parents choose our childs religion???

Do we do more harm or good by this practice????  For me I  Certainly express and live a viewpoint which very clearly gives an example of my awareness of God?

As a parent I know that for  a time I am my childs definition of all things,  until they begin to think for themselves  ( We refer to that as Rebellion)  As parents if our child chooses to find their own path to God should we insist they see God in our way or allow them to see God in their own way? Do our children have our  okay to question our values?

I'd apprciate your perspective on this whether you have children or not.

699601[/snapback]

They will eventually choose their own one day...thats for sure but you are not hurting them by taking them with you to your church...the important thing is that you do things together as a family. Guide them along the way so as not let preists or nuns have to much influence over their young impressionable minds. They are there mainly to learn what to do and not do in society. Gaurd them against self-righteousness and being over zealous. In other words dont let them take it too seriously...because "the way" is different for all of us. Regards.

[shandar5]

We allow the grandparents to take the kids to church. But at the same time we ensure that everything they are taught there is approached with reason. We never push our beliefs, however, we teach them to use their own brain and decide for themselves what is possible.

[Neo2005]

We have to let the choose what they want to asociated with.

[Rachael]

Well put it this way - ya can't leave them at home alone - can you?

So if you are a practicing 'something' - they are tagging along for the ride.

But IMO - it is better to be raised within a faith than out of one.

[Euphoric Deception]

In my family this is a big deal, Should we as parents choose our childs religion???

Do we do more harm or good by this practice????  For me I  Certainly express and live a viewpoint which very clearly gives an example of my awareness of God?

As a parent I know that for  a time I am my childs definition of all things,  until they begin to think for themselves  ( We refer to that as Rebellion)  As parents if our child chooses to find their own path to God should we insist they see God in our way or allow them to see God in their own way? Do our children have our  okay to question our values?

I'd apprciate your perspective on this whether you have children or not.

699601[/snapback]

No, your child's religion is not your choice. Its not rebellion either. And damn straight they can question your values. All you can do is to let them see your prefered way and thats it. He/she should decide for themselves. It would be selfish, one-sided, and unreasonable of you to choose your own son or daughters religion.

[Carla]

I think that we should allow our children to find God in there own time but we can point them in the right direction.

[bacca]

If the parent didn't teach their child about religion how would the adult have anything to go on to make a decision for themselves later? As a parent you do what you think is right for your child. So you teach them the things that you believe; support the choices that they make on their own, all the while hoping that they do what is right.....probably hoping they do what you want; which is natural since as we already know everyone thinks they are right? So to answer the original post, of course you need to teach your child your own belief system what else would you teach them? that's like asking should you teach your child to respect or the basics of right and wrong, those are things that a child needs to have a basis of so that they have enough info later on in their own life.....but just my opinion

[Grandpa Greenman]

No I don't think anyone should force a belief system on anyone. You don't need a religion to be a moral person. I was raised by parents that were atheist and agnostic. I am a moral person, and was one before I became a Pagan.

Everyone has their own Path. You can teach your children about your religion, give them access to learn about other belief systems and in the end they will make the choice that will fit in their life. If you give them a good understanding of all religions it will save them from falling into cults.

I have one kid that turned Christian on me. He is happy so I am happy. I even went to church with him for his baptism and much to his surprise I behaved. He was really never raised with a particular religion. I didn't become Pagan until he was a teen and I would have never even thought about forcing it on him. I taught him about it along with other religions.

The only thing I forced my kids to do was read. I guided their reading but never actually picked books for them other than handing them a book saying this is cool check it out.

Many people who come to Paganism were forced into a belief system as children. Some have no idea about other religions and they are lost. I tell them to go and look into all religions and decide what makes the most sense to them. If they still want to become Pagan I am glad to help them out.

Religion is like a pair of shoes, it has to fit.

Edited July 5, 2005 by Darkwind

[The Raven]

This is a touchy topic, and I've posted in it before in another thread like many others.

You should NEVER choose your childs religion. NEVER. Just beacause -- for example -- you were born and raised Christian, doesn't mean your child is going to be a Christian, or even wants to be a Christian.

Instead of just throwing a religion at a child, let the child learn. For example, instead of talking about God, ETC around small children, talk about other things. Try and keep your religion out of the matters until the child either knows enough to make their own choice and have a say in the matter or you know the child is ready.

Forcing beliefs on a child is no different than a priest trying to convert a town of "heathens." Knowledge of all religions and beliefs is vital if anyone wants to find their true path, and keeping religion out of their face until they are ready is the only way someone can have an easy job.

Growing up Christian, I believed everything I heard from my parents about religion; although it wasn't a whole lot. I believed I would go to hell if I did anything bad to people, and constantly asked God for forgiveness in my head for anything I did that I thought might be wrong; even wrong thoughts. Now, having learned about all the religions and taken a fairly neutral stance, I can make an educated choice. If you want your child to be able to make an educated choice, I highly advise against forcing anything upon them.

Don't just believe in something because you want to, because it sounds nice, out of fear or out of love; believe in something because you can feel it's truth and message in the core of your being.

Darkwind, once again, I strongly agree. ^

Edited July 6, 2005 by The Raven

[+Sherapy]

Darkwind and Raven, thankyou both for such heart felt suggestions, I agree with both of you. I too have a child that chose a religon that was not what I would of chose but it is his right and in spite of it I do the same as you darkwind that is embrace and honor his path, I agree with know all the religions don't be afraid of them but in the end the only truth you should follow is the one you find in your heart. I am not familiar with Pagan what is that?????? Namaste Sheri Berri

Raven I was raised Catholic for the early years of my life and I could identify with you I didn't sleep much I was terrified if I died I ws going to Hell, My youth should of been filled with joy and wonder not nite terrors, Thank God for my grandmother who told me God was in my heart and never look any where else or believe otherwise, I do the same for my kids, Some religions (not all) can be very crippling for many years we have to as parents really put thought into this, I came from a generation that had serious issues with there lives due to religion, I don't think its childs play.

[Jodie.Lynne]

My wife and I agreed that our daughter would be allowed to choose her own path. To that end, we have studied (the 3 of us) different methods of worship, and have attended services for several, including RC.

When she has a question about a certain type of religion, we research and find the answers together. One day, she will choose a path that is correct for her, and we will support that choice.

[+Sherapy]

My wife and I agreed that our daughter would be allowed to choose her own path.  To that end, we have studied (the 3 of us) different methods of worship, and have attended services for several, including RC.

When she has a question about a certain type of religion, we research and find the answers together.  One day, she will choose a path that is correct for her, and we will support that choice.

716756[/snapback]

JMPD that is a very excellent idea, I would do the same . Namaste Sheri berri