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Puppet masters

revenge cycles hatred grace freedom

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#1    markdohle

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 12:44 PM

Puppet masters


We are all puppet masters from time to time, and then there are times when we are the puppets tied to the strings of others.  We do in fact exert power over others that we can be unconscious of.   The string that I can unconsciously pull with others is when I do something to them, intentionally or not, that brings about humiliation and pain.  Anger and the desire for revenge, is the fruit of being a puppet master, that can spread to others as well.  When people gossip about someone who has done them wrong, when others listen and react, then they to are controlled by the instigator of it all, even it if was not intentional.  

I believe the reason forgiveness is so important is that it cuts the strings from both ends, freeing both parties from a relationship that leads to ever deeper wounds if allowed to go too far.  I get hurt and am controlled by the one who hurt me.  So I hurt back and am in control because of his or her response.  The power is moved from one another, an endless cycle of suffering and pain that is played out not only on an individual level but culturally as well.  From my own painful experience, grace is needed to forgive, to let go, and in doing that to discover a deep inner healing and freedom.  



Pulling the strings


I believe as a species we have gown weary,
the endless cycles of hatred and pain is death dealing,
to ourselves as well as others,
being a puppet master is hell on earth,
for the one pulling the strings
and the one dancing.


Sad to say,
the dancing will never end,
until our weariness
turns to a fire
consuming all,
for the logic behind this hideous dance,
the getting back
has a hold so strong
that it will relax only in death.



Edited by markdohle, 25 August 2012 - 12:49 PM.


#2    Beany

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 04:16 PM

Though people may hurt us they are not necessarily in control of us. Well, really, they aren't in control of us ever. We are in control, whether we choose to control ourselves is a different matter. If we don't, then we become victims, and there are few things more helpless than a victim. Learning to act instead of reacting is a sign of maturity, I think.


#3    Amy the Mighty

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 04:59 PM

View Postmarkdohle, on 25 August 2012 - 12:44 PM, said:

Anger and the desire for revenge, is the fruit of being a puppet master, that can spread to others as well.  When people gossip about someone who has done them wrong, when others listen and react, then they to are controlled by the instigator of it all, even it if was not intentional.  
There are some things, like child abuse, which are, and must be, unforgivable for some people. A person who has experienced, abuse as a child, might adopt a spiritual path which compels them to forgive. If they are unable to achieve this goal in spite of trying, they aren't any less a person. Forgiveness is a worthy goal, but it shouldn't be a yardstick for determining that we're on the right track. There's a kind of undulating forgiveness that you find in children who still need and love a parent who has abused them, where they learn to suppress the survival instinct that would compel them to fight the abuse. They do this so that they can emotionally connect with their parent, because their survival instinct also compels them to seek this connection. When we forgive people, we need to do so from a position where the injury to us is acknowledged in full. If we minimise how significant the injury is, and just shrug it off and forget about it, it's not forgiveness.

View Postmarkdohle, on 25 August 2012 - 12:44 PM, said:

I get hurt and am controlled by the one who hurt me.  So I hurt back and am in control because of his or her response.

I think any control within the revenge paradigm is a myth. There is a feeling of having appeased our ego afterwards, but it evaporates quickly. It's the initial transgression and the revenge act which controls us all. It's never us people.


#4    markdohle

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 10:45 PM

View PostAmy the Mighty, on 25 August 2012 - 04:59 PM, said:

There are some things, like child abuse, which are, and must be, unforgivable for some people. A person who has experienced, abuse as a child, might adopt a spiritual path which compels them to forgive. If they are unable to achieve this goal in spite of trying, they aren't any less a person. Forgiveness is a worthy goal, but it shouldn't be a yardstick for determining that we're on the right track. There's a kind of undulating forgiveness that you find in children who still need and love a parent who has abused them, where they learn to suppress the survival instinct that would compel them to fight the abuse. They do this so that they can emotionally connect with their parent, because their survival instinct also compels them to seek this connection. When we forgive people, we need to do so from a position where the injury to us is acknowledged in full. If we minimise how significant the injury is, and just shrug it off and forget about it, it's not forgiveness.



I think any control within the revenge paradigm is a myth. There is a feeling of having appeased our ego afterwards, but it evaporates quickly. It's the initial transgression and the revenge act which controls us all. It's never us people.

Good comment thank you.  I do not disagree with what you said.  However, anger, hatred and rage or a way of being in intimate relationship with those who harm us.  The opposite of love is not hate but indifference.  We can't change others, we can get away from them, not have anything to do with them, and yes forgive them, though it takes time and perseverance as well as grace I believe.  I am writing of my own struggles of course, for some, this might not even be a problem.


Peace
mark


#5    markdohle

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 10:46 PM

View PostBeany, on 25 August 2012 - 04:16 PM, said:

Though people may hurt us they are not necessarily in control of us. Well, really, they aren't in control of us ever. We are in control, whether we choose to control ourselves is a different matter. If we don't, then we become victims, and there are few things more helpless than a victim. Learning to act instead of reacting is a sign of maturity, I think.

I agree my friend, thanks again for your wisdom.

peace
mark






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