35 replies to this topic

[AquilaChrysaetos]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 27 December 2012 - 05:56 PM, said:

My question is should she be worried or should she believe the kid when he tells her it was just a mistake?

Both. I would say that you should always give your kid the benefit of the doubt unless they give you a legitimate reason not to. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with a little caution. In other words, believe the kid, just monitor them more.

[G Donnelly]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 27 December 2012 - 05:56 PM, said:

My  friends kid got a hamster for christmas, a day later his mom walked into the room and finds her kid standing over the hamster and it dead.  The kid has tears in his eyes and tells her he didnt know he couldnt squeeze it that hard.  He wants to know if he can get another one, but my friend is worried because she thinks he did know what he was doing and killed it on purpose. My question is should she be worried or should she believe the kid when he tells her it was just a mistake?

It's a sad fact but hamsters do have very short lives.
You really do need to do your research on the upkeep of them.
It's not like handling dogs and cats and they need to be handled with kid gloves.
My mate from a few years ago went through a succession of them.
I don't think it was similar to this situation but he could have got a bit rough without me knowing.
You never know but this kid could win a humantarian award in the future.
From what I gather he dosn't look like the type to torture and kill animals.
The fact that he showed genuine remorse is very encouraging.

Edited by Medium Brown, 28 December 2012 - 03:42 PM.

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

Medium Brown, on 28 December 2012 - 03:42 PM, said:

It's a sad fact but hamsters do have very short lives.
You really do need to do your research on the upkeep of them.
It's not like handling dogs and cats and they need to be handled with kid gloves.
My mate from a few years ago went through a succession of them.
I don't think it was similar to this situation but he could have got a bit rough without me knowing.
You never know but this kid could win a humantarian award in the future.
From what I gather he dosn't look like the type to torture and kill animals.
The fact that he showed genuine remorse is very encouraging.

You make a good points and I think the fact that he showed remorse says volumes about the incident. So thanks everyone for weighing in on this, I will make sure that if she gets him another hamster she gives him the do's and donts of owning it.

[Beckys_Mom]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 27 December 2012 - 11:11 PM, said:

The kid is 7 years old, and She had just assumed he would know not to squeeze it to hard.

My daughter recently turned seven years old .. I still have to remind her how to handle our cats  and her little brother.. She is learning and coming on well.. I never will assume my daughter knows all;..Sometimes you just can't turn your back on kids...I used to get a feeling of dread when I knew she was up stairs and it went very quiet, it told me she was up to something..  We still check in on her now and again ..It becomes a habit

Quote

   Now the question is whether he knew that sqeezing it to hard would kill it and was just lying about it bieng a mistake, although he did have tears in his eyes which is throwing me

As so many have pointed out, with the child who had tears in his eyes, I think it is safe to say he is not some evil little terror.  If you had of said the kid was standing there showing no emotion and didn't care  or laughing at it all, then that would raise more than a few eye brows.. But he didn't.... He must have been scared to see it die like that and felt sad..  I say once more is explained to the child, then he might catch on and do so much better next time...

Edited by Beckys_Mom, 28 December 2012 - 06:50 PM.

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

Why does your child think his or her friend did this purposefully? I would ask, and see if he saw something that contradicts what everyone else saw, a 7 year old child in tears. Not a happy image, no, and I think I agree with a little bit of everything that's been said. Children are often over-simplified, if you ask me; some have more sense or 'sensitivity' with animals, some are aggressive or manipulative. I also think psychopaths are lumped together, wrapped into a bundle of terms and symptoms that fit nicely in the trunkspace of society. You have the occasional Jeffrey Dahmers, sure, but I think for the most part we're either self-contained or otherwise avoided individuals who have any combination of apathy, sadistic tendencies, narcissism, the list goes on. This could be the case of a child who was clumsy and unprepared (I wholly agree there should've been education and supervision involved), and for all we know it could've been intentional. I think just assuming the latter would be harmful, and I would advise asking questions, listening, watching, and just being careful. Oh, and the common sense/gut feeling factor is huge. My mother had been abusing drugs for years by the time I was in high school but the outward signs were minimal up till then. The person I sought advice from gave me the 'if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck' adage, and sure enough months later I was looking for some paper she wanted me to grab from a drawer, and about 12 bottles total of Vicodin and Morphine fell out.

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

HeartsAreForBreaking, on 29 December 2012 - 02:51 AM, said:

Why does your child think his or her friend did this purposefully? I would ask, and see if he saw something that contradicts what everyone else saw, a 7 year old child in tears. Not a happy image, no, and I think I agree with a little bit of everything that's been said. Children are often over-simplified, if you ask me; some have more sense or 'sensitivity' with animals, some are aggressive or manipulative. I also think psychopaths are lumped together, wrapped into a bundle of terms and symptoms that fit nicely in the trunkspace of society. You have the occasional Jeffrey Dahmers, sure, but I think for the most part we're either self-contained or otherwise avoided individuals who have any combination of apathy, sadistic tendencies, narcissism, the list goes on. This could be the case of a child who was clumsy and unprepared (I wholly agree there should've been education and supervision involved), and for all we know it could've been intentional. I think just assuming the latter would be harmful, and I would advise asking questions, listening, watching, and just being careful. Oh, and the common sense/gut feeling factor is huge. My mother had been abusing drugs for years by the time I was in high school but the outward signs were minimal up till then. The person I sought advice from gave me the 'if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck' adage, and sure enough months later I was looking for some paper she wanted me to grab from a drawer, and about 12 bottles total of Vicodin and Morphine fell out.

Yeah as far as the kid not bieng superivised with the animal she told me she was in the bathroom at the time this happened, shes just worried like all parents that have kids would be is what Im assuming and just brought the question up to me because she thought it was odd, that as soon as he gets it he ends up killing it. I think she just wants to have all her bases covered so her kid doesnt end up becoming a Jeffrey Dahmer. It was a mistake to leave the kid alone and not explain how to handle the hamster, she understands that now and we all make mistakes.

[Hasina]

Two words: PET. ROCK.

[JGirl]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 27 December 2012 - 05:56 PM, said:

My  friends kid got a hamster for christmas, a day later his mom walked into the room and finds her kid standing over the hamster and it dead.  The kid has tears in his eyes and tells her he didnt know he couldnt squeeze it that hard.  He wants to know if he can get another one, but my friend is worried because she thinks he did know what he was doing and killed it on purpose. My question is should she be worried or should she believe the kid when he tells her it was just a mistake?

she should not buy the kid another hamster. man you gotta squeeze pretty damned hard to kill it and i'm sure the little critter was fighting for its life too
the kid is either way too young for a pet or has a mean streak in him. if the mom thinks it's the latter then she needs to address that as well, never mind the hamster.

[Beckys_Mom]

JGirl, on 29 December 2012 - 07:03 PM, said:

she should not buy the kid another hamster. man you gotta squeeze pretty damned hard to kill it and i'm sure the little critter was fighting for its life too
the kid is either way too young for a pet or has a mean streak in him. if the mom thinks it's the latter then she needs to address that as well, never mind the hamster.

I hate to do this ( because I normally agree with most of what you post )  but I disagree, I do not think the child has a mean streak in him... He must have been frightened by what happened to be in tears over it. If he was enjoying the pain of killing the hamster, then I would see your point, but from reading the OP, it was not like that. ....
I feel if more info is explained to a child about how to handle small pets, and keep an eye on them, then things could become better...I also feel that some of us forget what it was like to be a child and clueless to so many things

I mentioned ( a few posts back )  how I was hurting a hamster when I was a child, nothing before hand was explained to me about them. My mother just gave me the hamster to look after and that was it. I was shaking the life out of it thinking it's food was jammed in it's mouth... The hamster was fine afterwards when my mom took it off me..  She later explained to me how to handle such a pet, and I gained some amount of understanding, but  I didn't have a mean streak in me, I was just clueless how to handle a hamster at that time ..I have seen so many children around pets and a good few of them have no clue how to handle a pet, it is not their fault, they should be taught how to care for the animals and how to handle them

My baby boy who is 7 and a half months old, loves to see our cats enter the room... He gets excited..  Misty  ( the tabby ) is more friendly to be around and she comes over, nudging her head into us and purring loudly, she also nudges little Aaron..  He then reaches out and grabs her, and such a strong little grip, he pulls at her ears, I quickly release his tiny hand, and try and get him to copy me, petting her gently.. But being only 7 months old, he has no clue  lol.. So I don't allow him to grab her, when he reaches out I turn him around and distract him away from the cat, even though the cat is nudging him looking attention..  She doesn't care, she nudges him again to get attention..

When he gets a bit older, I will be teaching him how to handle pets more  just like I have done with Becky, who was once rough with animals ..Children can be rough and not understand how it can really hurt the animal..I recall myself as a child not understanding at one point.. I now love animals and would never hurt them.. We learn as we grow

Edited by Beckys_Mom, 29 December 2012 - 07:56 PM.

[JGirl]

Beckys_Mom, on 29 December 2012 - 07:49 PM, said:

I hate to do this ( because I normally agree with most of what you post )  but I disagree, I do not think the child has a mean streak in him... He must have been frightened by what happened to be in tears over it. If he was enjoying the pain of killing the hamster, then I would see your point, but from reading the OP, it was not like that. ....

I feel if more info is explained to a child about how to handle small pets ,and keep an eye on them, then things could become better...I also feel that some of us forget what it was like to be a child and clueless to so many things
I mentioned how I was hurting a hamster when I was a child, nothing was explained to me about them.. I was shaking the life out of it thinking it's food was jammed in it's mouth... The hamster was fine afterwards when my mom took it off me..  She later explained to me how to handle such a pet, and I gained some amount of understanding, but  I didn't have a mean streak in me, I was just clueless how to handle a hamster ..I have seen so many children around pets and a good few of them have no clue how to handle a pet, it is not their fault, they should be taught how to care for the animals and how to handle them

My baby boy who is 7 and a half months old, loves to see our cats enter the room... He gets excited..  Misty  ( the tabby ) is more friendly to be around and she comes over, nudging her head into us and purring loudly, she also nudges little Aaron..  He then reaches out and grabs her, and such a strong little grip, he pulls at her ears, I quickly release his tiny hand, and try and get him to copy me, petting her gently.. But being only 7 months old, he has no clue  lol.. So I don't allow him to grab her..  She doesn't care, she nudges him again to get attention..

When he gets a bit older, I will be teaching him how to handle pets more  just like I have done with Becky, who was once rough with animals ..Children can be rough and not understand how it can really hurt the animal..I recall myself as a child not understanding at one point.. I now love animals and would never hurt them.. We learn as we grow

i think you misunderstood my post. i wasn't implying the kid has problems i was responding to the OP in which it is said that the mom was thinking that might be an issue
personally i don't feel any child that age should have a pet so small.

[Beckys_Mom]

JGirl, on 29 December 2012 - 07:55 PM, said:

i think you misunderstood my post. i wasn't implying the kid has problems i was responding to the OP in which it is said that the mom was thinking that might be an issue
personally i don't feel any child that age should have a pet so small.

From what was further mentioned in the thread by the OP starter, the mother just assumed her child would know not to squeeze the hamster hard.. So I gather the kid was not told how to handle a small pet.. Some parents forget themselves  ( it's easy done, my own mother forgot too ) and they just assume the children will know how to handle them.. But from my own experience and from what I have seen over time, this is not always the case..Children need to be taught and guided ..Well in my opinion they do ..

[JGirl]

Beckys_Mom, on 29 December 2012 - 08:48 PM, said:

From what was further mentioned in the thread by the OP starter, the mother just assumed her child would know not to squeeze the hamster hard.. So I gather the kid was not told how to handle a small pet.. Some parents forget themselves  ( it's easy done, my own mother forgot too ) and they just assume the children will know how to handle them.. But from my own experience and from what I have seen over time, this is not always the case..Children need to be taught and guided ..Well in my opinion they do ..

admittedly i didn't read the entire thread. i posted off the OP but yes i do agree with what you've said here. as i mentioned, i was going on the assumption that this was a possibility in the mother's mind.
i would never have assumed my child did something like that intentionally so it struck me as odd that she would consider it.

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

Shes not going to buy him another hamster so for all you that worry for the animal its not needed.

[Kazahel]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 30 December 2012 - 12:20 AM, said:

Shes not going to buy him another hamster so for all you that worry for the animal its not needed.

I think not getting him another hamster is just more punishment on top of an accident he felt bad about.

So a mum buys her son a pet(the kid is happy).. The kid accidently kills the pet(from a lack of instruction, excitement/playing), he's sad and probably still feels guilt and then the mum doesnt buy him another. I bet he wished he never had one now which isnt a very nice gift/memory in the end. Thats how I look at it anyway.

So I wouldnt make him feel worse and I certaintly wouldnt assume anything horrible about him. To do that is horrible in itself.

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

Kazahel, on 30 December 2012 - 03:26 AM, said:

I think not getting him another hamster is just more punishment on top of an accident he felt bad about.

So a mum buys her son a pet(the kid is happy).. The kid accidently kills the pet(from a lack of instruction, excitement/playing), he's sad and probably still feels guilt and then the mum doesnt buy him another. I bet he wished he never had one now which isnt a very nice gift/memory in the end. Thats how I look at it anyway.

So I wouldnt make him feel worse and I certaintly wouldnt assume anything horrible about him. To do that is horrible in itself.

Yeah she didnt buy it for him in the first place, it was a christmas gift, and she decided not getting him another one is the best decision for right now.