Dark Night Of The Sould

[vikstar]

Hi ppl,

I am 21 years old and last year I underwent a profound spiritual experience. There were many intuitive events over the course of last few years that led to the full blown spiritual experience. I was an athiest (perhaps a millitant tatheist) in the beginning then I went through harsh troubles in life and for sum unknown reason, God decided to start to show himself to me. It was nothing like a underlying unity or bliss or as sum report but just a precise and subtle intuitive messages. My life has been alternatively a average life and miserable life. I have of course mostly seen god's face (in a sense) during harsh times.

The full blown spiritual experience occured after I lost a good job to recession. I had full faith in god and thought that I will find a new job anyhow as god helped me before as well in a similar situation. But it was not as expected. God did help in a different and contrasting way. I had that full spiritual experience and then I went to jail (long story). There was a dude beside my cell that was getting raped but I recieved some intuitive messages the night before that I will be safe (although I didn't understand the message at that time) and I was. But I can tell you it was true hell to witness the cries of the victim of rape. I could hear him cry and I was helpless and fortunate that I was in a single cell for only one night (although at the time I didn't know). I can also tell you that some of the intuitive messages I receieved during my spiritual experience was exactly what happened in the future although I didn't expect or believed in them that much at time.

After that even though I didn't get a job but I got some financial assistance (very limited). The message "royalties will be paid to you" came to me during my spiritual experience but ofcourse I didn't bother to believe it or decipher it at the time.

My life has been stable after that although I am suffering from financial and family difficulties ever since. Its like i am in constant stream of darkness, empty, hopeless. No intuitions and spiriutal experiences have happened since then and I actually thought that God has abondened me due to my sinning or something.

Then I saw on the internet about "dark night of the soul" and the experiences were exactly similar to mine. I was wondering if someone else has gone through such a spiritual experience.

Another thing I would say that althought one part of me feels very lucky and special to have gone through this experience, another part of me is afraid and regrets it as experience encompasses difficult and painful periods in one's life. Also you tend to blame god for all evils in world and for all the evils you are facing once you have firm evidence of god which can make you more depressive.

[SlimJim22]

I read a book that included the 'Dark Night of the Soul' it was called Soul Prints and is worth a read. I too experienced such a time of depression in my early twenties and my advice is, try and ride out the bad times. My problem was that I was too optimistic and over confident. Leaving uni in debt I was confident that I could make a comfortable living. How wrong I was? An ill fated inter-railing expedition around Europe led to me developing reactive arthritis. I worked in an insurance call centre for a few years but was becoming more dependent on pain killers which warped my perceptions and slowed me down. Unable to fit in I became isolated and then the abuse and sexual harrassment began. It was a bit like hell for a while but I resigned with a shred of dignity remaining. Then the most wonderful thing, my daughter was born and it was like the dawn had finally come. The past no longer mattered and I had shed many of the attachments that our society places so much emphasis on. No longer did I desire possesions or wealth, and I could focus on developing myself in a way that I thought had merits. Our world is changing around us and trying to prempt the future is hard but follow what has always meant something to you and perhaps we will be lead to where we are meant to be.

Thanks for sharing, Vikstar. See ya around