Soldier explains refusal to return to Iraq

[Wings of Selkhet]

Soldier Explains Refusal to Return to Iraq

HINESVILLE, Georgia (AP) -- A young girl clutching her arm blackened by burns, dogs feeding off bodies in mass graves -- the images still haunt Sgt. Kevin Benderman 15 months after he came home from Iraq.

Witnessing the brutal reality of war, Benderman stunned his commanders when he sought a discharge as a conscientious objector after 10 years in the Army.

In an interview with The Associated Press, the sergeant said he never grasped the misery that war inflicts on civilians as well as combatants until he saw it all firsthand.

"Some people may be born a conscientious objector, but sometimes people realize through certain events in their lives that the path they're on is the wrong one," Benderman said. "The idea was: Do I really want to stay in an organization where the sole purpose is to kill?"

Benderman's decision -- choosing conscience over his commitment to fellow troops -- has meant bearing the insults.

An officer called him a coward. His battalion chaplain shamed him in an e-mail from Kuwait. That's because Benderman, whose unit just deployed for a second combat tour in Iraq, refused to return to war.

Benderman, 40, filed notice in December, and his timing could hardly have been worse for the Army. The Fort Stewart-based 3rd Infantry Division began deploying its 19,000 soldiers this month.

Benderman's unit, the 3rd Forward Support Battalion, was leaving for Kuwait on January 5. When commanders ordered him to deploy while they processed his objector application, he refused to show up for his flight.

He said he has his reasons, reflecting on time in Iraq.

Benderman told of bombed out homes and displaced Iraqis living in mud huts and drinking from mud puddles; mass graves in Khanaqin near the Iranian border where dogs fed off bodies of men, women and children.

He recalled his convoy passing a girl, no older than 10, on the roadside clutching a badly injured arm. Benderman said his executive officer refused to help because troops had limited medical supplies.

"Her arm was burned, third-degree burns, just black. And she was standing there with her mother begging for help," Benderman said. "That was an eye opener to seeing how insane it really is."

Now Benderman, a mechanic who has been reassigned to a non-deploying rear detachment unit, could face a court-martial. Fort Stewart officials have not decided whether to charge him.

Separately, he must convince commanders he is morally opposed to war in all forms, as Army regulations define conscientious objection, despite his lengthy military service and previous combat tour.

"If he went to Iraq and then comes back and says, `I'm now opposed to war,' the issue is are you opposed to all wars or just this one you don't want to go back to?" said Mark Stevens, a military defense lawyer and retired Marine Corps judge advocate. "He wasn't opposed to war two years ago, why is he opposed to it now?"

Benderman said the officer who took his objector notice dismissed him as a coward. His unit's chaplain offered little encouragement.

"You should have had the moral fortitude to deploy with us and see me here in Kuwait to begin your CO application," Army Chaplain Matt Temple said in a recent e-mail to Benderman. "You should be ashamed of the way you have conducted yourself. I certainly am ashamed of you."

Benderman's wife, Monica, said her husband hinted that he had doubts about taking part in the war in a letter he sent home that referenced scholars' belief that Iraq was home to the biblical Garden of Eden.

"He said, `Here I am in the Garden of Eden, and what am I doing here with a gun?"' she said.

Raised a Southern Baptist in Tennessee, Benderman keeps an open Bible on his living room table but said he's "more spiritual than religious." After going to Iraq, he picked up the Quran and was struck by the similarities between Islam and Christianity.

He returned in September 2003 after serving eight months in Iraq with the 4th Infantry Division from Fort Hood, Texas. As a mechanic who fixes Bradley armored vehicles, he said he never fired a weapon in combat.

Still, Benderman began questioning whether he could return to a war zone when he transferred to Fort Stewart in October 2003. He said he never mentioned his doubts to soldiers in his new unit, but trained with them for a year as they prepared for a second tour. By December, he had even packed his clothes and equipment for shipping overseas.

Benderman acknowledged that waiting more than a year, until right before deployment, may seem "out of the blue." But he insisted his decision came from long deliberation, not desperation.

"People say, `You're abandoning these soldiers that depend on you,' and so that weighs on you," he said. "But what's worse? Going over there and participating in war, or maybe doing something that can help people figure out that you don't have to go to war?"

[Fluffybunny]

People that have never been in combat or seen fighting first hand have no idea what it is like.

I do not know what the truth of the matter is with this soldier; is his stance as a objector simply to get himself out of going back into combat, or did he have a life changing realization about what killing other human beings does to you?

It bugs me to no end that some of the people that are so supportive of the war in Iraq have never been in combat, or worse yet in the military at all. I personally think that it should be mandatory for the president and a majority of the congress who sends soldiers off to war to have had to experience it himself to see what they are sending people off to do...There are times when war is simply innevitable; I would prefer that we make sure that it is the last possible option...

Whatever his reasons; I can't hold it against him. After seeing what I have seen I can't hold it against anyone who does not want to go to war.

[+joc]

Whatever his reasons; I can't hold it against him. After seeing what I have seen I can't hold it against anyone who does not want to go to war.

It is real easy for some to say, 'Well he knew what he was getting himself into when he joined' or 'He isn't doing his duty' or ' The guys just a coward'.

Until you've been there yourself and walked a mile in 'war shoes' you really don't know. I haven't been there and so I don't know.

I personally think that it should be mandatory for the president and a majority of the congress who sends soldiers off to war to have had to experience it himself to see what they are sending people off to do

While I disagree with you here, I find it completely unacceptable for a President to have had no military experience whatsoever. I think Military experience should be mandatory for the job of Commander in Chief.

Edited January 17, 2005 by joc

[Fluffybunny]

"You should have had the moral fortitude to deploy with us and see me here in Kuwait to begin your CO application," Army Chaplain Matt Temple said in a recent e-mail to Benderman. "You should be ashamed of the way you have conducted yourself. I certainly am ashamed of you."

Nice chaplain...I wonder WWJD?

[Wings of Selkhet]

More like WWJB...Who Would Jesus Bomb?

[stillcrazy]

I have to agree with FluffyBunny, I am not goint ot try and second guess what is going on in this man's mind.

Never having served in the military directly, but as a former paramedic, I know what man is capable of doing to his fellow man. I can only imagine that in a war zone it is a thousand times worse as you don't go home at the end of your shift, to the safety of your home. Your still in a war zone.

Joc, I agree whole heartedly, The commander in chief should have military experience. Perferable that they had spent time in a combat zone. To see first hand the damage done to innocent lives.

As for the Chaplin's comments, I guess he can explain them to God when he gets to that point. Not my place to say.

[Homer]

I also agree that the Commander in Chief should have military experience, but not necessarily in combat. There are too many years between major wars(wars that require substantial amount of foot soldiers), therefore making the pool of potential candidates extremely limited, for this to be a prerequisite. Even in this war, for example, despite there being over 100,000 U.S. troops in the combat zone, there is still far more troops in either a support role or serving in another part of the world.

Like the previous posts, I agree without knowing what’s in the mind of this person, we can’t really judge if he’s a coward or truly a conscientious objector. What I thought of first was this guy wanted to use the military as a career with low cost medical insurance and education, and get out after 20 years with a full pension, hoping he would never have to go to war. Then after more thought, I realize this first impression isn’t fair without knowing what’s in this guy’s head.

[Freespyryt24]

I don't hold anything against that soldier or any soldier that doesn't want to go to or back to war. Especially when you don't know when your last day is, or if you will keep your limbs intact. I find it ridiculious that they want him to go to court on it. Geez. Just let our men and women come home if they want. I feel that our soldiers were mislead in the beginning. This war was started to find OBL in Afghanistan. Our soldiers were PUMPED to find this SOB, but they were then directed into Iraq. With lots of questions and barley efficient answers. Our men and women are dying over there, innocent people are dying over there. The casualites are unreal, and still we don't have OBL dead or alive. what gives? we found Saddam in a hole in the ground. we can't find OBL in caves? I say letem come home. We aren't wanted over there. I just hope that this whole Nightmare ends sooner than later.