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I'm an atheist who understands christians


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#91    IamsSon

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:05 PM

View PostBling, on 08 September 2012 - 11:59 PM, said:

I now regard myself as an atheist but my experience with the christian faith was once a huge part of my life, so I can totally understand the views and morals christian follow. I no longer believe there is a god but for a good few years I was extremely devoted and evangelical, so much so that I got caught up in a cult in my quest to be the best christian I could be. The group I got mixed up with believed they were the one true church of the bible, the church that was set up by jesus' disciples, and not part of the false religions of this world. I was convinced I was going to hell if I did not repent of my sin, be baptised by full immersion, receive the holy spirit and follow the church and bible without question. I was brought up by christian parents who were in the baptist church, so I was indoctrinated from a very early age - I just believed it to be true. So when this group came along I praised god for bringing me into his true church, I had been searching for years for a church who followed the bible fully. I was baptised into this church by full immersion (in a baptisimal tank) within the week of hearing the word of god, and was told that I must receive the holy spirit in order to be saved and be a member of the church. The sign of being filled with the spirit was to speak in tongues, and everyone, even the children who had received the spirit spoke in tongues. I was desperate to be saved from armageddon and hell that I automatically accepted all I was told and within a few weeks I was speaking in tongues. I attended the meetings every wednesday evening, twice on sunday (with a break for dinner inbetween) and every friday with the young peoples group. I told everyone I knew that they had to be saved and if they didn't they would go to hell. I knew the bible like the back of my hand and got great comfort from it as I have had more than my fair share of tough times. I had to break off friendships with anyone who didn't follow the church, including family, and was pushed into speaking gods word whenever I could. I was not popular at work because I was seen as a jesus freak, but that just fed my inner martyr so I talked about things even more. I prayed in tongues twice a day, on my knees, and read the bible scriptures that god revealed to me while I was praying. I believed firmly that jesus was to return soon to this earth after a world nuclear war, started by the russians, and I as I was one of the saved I would be taken up to be with him. Then I would join jesus in the huge task of judging every human who ever lived and once the unbelievers were cast into hell with satan, I would live in a new heaven and earth with the lord. All this I was told was backed up by passages in the bible, so to me it seemed unquestionable. I felt special, I was told I was one of an elite few of true christians who was separated from the false religions of this world. I judged people by the word of god and felt justified in doing so. I was a saint.

However, I'm had a nagging doubt and soon began to question the interpretation of some of the scriptures and after much emotional struggle I left the church. Afterwards I was haunted for 7 years, believing I was going to hell and bad things would happen to me, so much so that after a 7 year break I joined the church again! I was so brainwashed, scared, lonely and vulnerable that I saw no other way to live my life. After a further 2 years of constantly resenting the fact I was called by god to be in his true church, and questioning my faith daily, I once again left. As soon as I did I realised to myself just how deluded I had been - I had believed all these things without ever seeing, hearing or experiencing one piece of evidence. Over the years I have accepted that religion is not for me and that actually I don't believe a word of it now. Even if it was true I wouldn't want to follow god as I can't stand the 'love me or I'll kill you' attitude the god of the bible has. It's all fairy tales to me now, and I am no longer scared and waiting for the end of the world, I can enjoy life fully without fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. I feel liberated from the chains that my faith bound me with.

So if any christians on this forum ever think I am disrespecting their opinion, I'm not. I'm just never going to agree with any christianity ever again, or any other religion. I don't believe the bible is the word of god, I don't believe god exists because if he did he would have heard my heartfelt prayers and not let me suffer, and I don't believe in a god who can turn his back on his creation for so long, day after day, with the promise one day he'll sort everything out once he feels mankind has suffered enough. The whole thing just sounds ridiculous to me now!

Feel free to ask me any questions as there's loads more I could say!

Hello Bling.  I apologize, but I am a naturally inquisitive person and have always been interested in learning about people who say they were Christians but are not anymore.  What made you consider yourself a Christian?

"But then with me that horrid doubt always arises whether the convictions of man's mind which has been developed from the mind of the lower animals, are of any value or at all trustworthy. Would any one trust in the convictions of a monkey's mind, if there are any convictions in such a mind?" - Charles Darwin, in a letter to William Graham on July 3, 1881

#92    Tiggs

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:15 PM

View PostIamsSon, on 24 January 2013 - 11:05 PM, said:

Hello Bling.  I apologize, but I am a naturally inquisitive person and have always been interested in learning about people who say they were Christians but are not anymore.  What made you consider yourself a Christian?

You may be waiting some time for a response, Iams.

Bling's account is currently closed, at her own request.

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#93    IamsSon

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:40 PM

View PostTiggs, on 24 January 2013 - 11:15 PM, said:

You may be waiting some time for a response, Iams.

Bling's account is currently closed, at her own request.

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Yeah, after I replied I went back and checked and realized this was an old thread.

"But then with me that horrid doubt always arises whether the convictions of man's mind which has been developed from the mind of the lower animals, are of any value or at all trustworthy. Would any one trust in the convictions of a monkey's mind, if there are any convictions in such a mind?" - Charles Darwin, in a letter to William Graham on July 3, 1881

#94    Paranoid Android

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 01:27 AM

View PostZaphod222, on 19 January 2013 - 04:25 PM, said:

Can we do without the stupid quotes from fiction books, please? They prove nothing.
If we are trying to find out what Jesus taught, then regardless of whether the Bible is fiction or not (and that is very much up for debate) quoting the gospels seems appropriate.  After all, if I want to know what the wizard Gandalf thought about the One Ring, I'd quote Tolkien to support my argument.  It doesn't matter that Tolkien is an author and Gandalf is a fictional character, if someone is asked what Gandalf thought, we go to the text.  If we want to know what Jesus taught about God then we quote the gospels.  It's up to each individual to decide whether the Bible is a work of fiction, though.


View PostZaphod222, on 19 January 2013 - 04:25 PM, said:

Or do you want Scientologists to come in here and "prove" this or that with quotes from Ron Hubbart?
This website is here for people of many different faiths, and I'd personally love to have a Scientologist here to ask questions about their beliefs (even if that means putting up with quotes from L Ron Hubbard).  Unfortunately, considering it appears that Scientologists have to pay large amounts of money for Scientology texts, and then are sworn to keep them secret so that others also need to pay large sums of money to find out what they say, I have a feeling we won't get someone here quoting Hubbard left and right and centre all that often.

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