First of all, the reasons I am catholic have to do with redemption and forgiveness. Plus I love the rituals on the church. It's also one of the only places that, if I ever feel stressed or upset, makes me feel at peace. Going to mass always calms me down and I can't explain why. As I was raised Jewish and willingly converted to Catholicism (always having believed Judiaism was not for me, fine for others though) I decided to ask about conversion classes. Most of my friends growing up were catholic and I always identified with those teachings more. No clue why.
Now that I'm older, I don't really believe in a Christian god, well not as its defined by Christians. This is what I told him I believed:
That there is some sort of force governing us. Whatever causes the ebb and flow of nature, that's what I believe in. The thing that got the ball rolling. The things science can't explain yet. Though I am very logical and believe there is an explanation for 99% of phenomena, we do not have everything 100% explained yet. The day we do, I will stop believing in god. I think of god much like dogs must think of humans.
Dogs look at humans as all powerful, caring, loving, and wonderful but the dog has no way to comprehend that we aren't all those things. We aren't omniscient, we don't create food and toys from our minds, we are full of fallacies and evil. Yet since they have no way to comprehend how humans are, they see us as something entirely different. So I think the being (or beings) that oversee us, must be like that. We are like their dogs, and we see those things as almighty providers but they really are no better than us, just slightly more powerful or just something we can't comprehend, like dogs.
I don't think any of that makes me an atheist. I don't have a problem with anyone or any religion, unless of course it's an extremist thing, but I can't not believe there is a greater purpose. I can't not believe in karma or fate. My faith has kept me going, and should I stop to think there was no reason for the suffering I've been through in my life (been told that most people never experience the combination of things I've already been through before the age of 30) I'd really want to shrivel up and die.
So maybe I'm weird that I need to believe there is a higher purpose to this. Yet I still think as humans there are things we can't, and may never comprehend.
Is there a religion at all like I'm describing? If not, does anyone have any input on this?
Edited by NothingSetInStone, 24 January 2013 - 05:54 PM.