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Question about bullys


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#31    White Crane Feather

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

View PostMichelle, on 18 February 2013 - 03:31 PM, said:



We did the same when I was in school, but it was organized totally by the students. We made it clear it wasn't cool to bully and essentially made them outcasts until they stopped.

On the up side I'm glad to see more common sense being proposed...

http://www.chattanoo...-Tennessee.aspx

Professional Educators of Tennessee (PET) announces their support for the recently-introduced Student Self-Defense Bill (Senate Bill 113/House Bill 860). PET, a non-partisan teacher association headquartered in Franklin, Tennessee, believes the proposed legislation brings common sense back into the zero-tolerance debate that has tied the hands of principals, schools and local school districts across the state.
Yes. It is important to be student driven. It's also important to be covert. No one should know that the bullied kid has been "helped". It should just happen smoothly. There is also a tendency for the group to bully back at the bullies, it's important to train them not to do this.

Edited by Seeker79, 18 February 2013 - 04:39 PM.

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#32    White Crane Feather

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:55 PM

View PostLilly, on 18 February 2013 - 02:53 PM, said:

Both of my kids studied martial arts, my son is currently a 2nd degree black belt. When he entered High School he was working on his brown belt and was a very low key kind of kid. Well, this clique of upper class boys was always picking on the Freshmen boys. Three of them had taken to pulling down the younger boy's sweat pants as they lined up for gym class (no teacher present until the bell rang). They would circle behind the line and choose out a victim (3 against 1) and de-pant the victim. They pulled this on my son and he absolutely 'cleaned their clocks'...took down the kid that grabbed his pants, elbowed another in the stomach, and grabbed the remaining kid by the ears. Needless to say, they all fled before the teacher showed up. None of them ever picked on my son again, no one bothered him through High School period.

So, I do think it's true that a show of force is often the only thing that will suffice to stop some bullies.
There is certainly pecking order behavior amoung people. I think it's simply a built in social behavior. We see it in many social animals from chickens to wolves and apes. It's important to identify it as this in ourselves so that we can properly work with our human behaviors and prepare our children to deal with it. I do agree violence needs to be avoided at nearly all costs, but the psychological damage of the bullied is just as damaging as any blow. Especially during formative years. When Somone finally learns to stand up for themselves it is Extremely empowering for that person. But care must be taken aswell. Some kids simply are not physically and psycologically capable of fighting. To set them physically against a bully could make it worse. There is this myth that once the bullied is stood up to that that's it. It is certainly true if the bullied comes out on top. But if they don't they then draw attention to themselves from all the other potential bully's as Somone that can raise their social status If they to beat him up.  Kids with undiagnosed spectrum disorders are particularly vulnerable. The other kids consider them weird and they often do not understand social situations.

Pecking order in humans dynamic. Every scenario is different and each case has its own solution. The best solution is always kindness from those that have a high social status. Real leaders that step up and do not allow these things in their social circles and intervene when they see it. They have the power to make It not cool.

Edited by Seeker79, 18 February 2013 - 04:55 PM.

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#33    Michelle

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 05:12 PM

View PostSeeker79, on 18 February 2013 - 04:39 PM, said:

Yes. It is important to be student driven. It's also important to be covert. No one should know that the bullied kid has been "helped". It should just happen smoothly. There is also a tendency for the group to bully back at the bullies, it's important to train them not to do this.

It wasn't always covert, but they weren't bullied back...just ostracized for a while. I knew most of the footbal players and there were a few who liked to pick on some of the smaller, younger kids. I wasn't even up to their shoulders in height and if I caught them in the act I would chew them out, complete with wagging my finger up at their faces. I'm sure it was a pretty funny sight. :P  That would embarrass them in front of their friends and if they continued they didn't let me see it.


#34    EllJay

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 09:39 PM

View Postbacca, on 12 February 2013 - 03:09 PM, said:

Does anyone know where I can find information about preventing bullying, or what consequences there should be. All I can find is to have the bully read a book or tell a story about being a good friend. I really need to know if there are any ways to help the child stop being bullied and I can't find anything.

I'm not sure this documentary has a definite solution to the problem of bullying, but it highlights it and show the effects it has on children.>> http://www.imdb.com/...82181/reference

Quote

This year, over 13 million American kids will be bullied at school, online, on the bus, at home, through their cell phones and on the streets of their towns, making it the most common form of violence young people in this country experience. BULLY is the first feature documentary film to show how we've all been affected by bullying, whether we've been victims, perpetrators or stood silent witness. The world we inhabit as adults begins on the playground. BULLY opens on the first day of school. For the more than 13 million kids who'll be bullied this year in the United States, it's a day filled with more anxiety and foreboding than excitement. As the sun rises and school busses across the country overflow with backpacks, brass instruments and the rambunctious sounds of raging hormones, this is a ride into the unknown. For a lot of kids, the only thing that's certain is that this year, like every other, bullying will be a big part of whatever meets them at their school's front doors. Every school in the U.S. is grappling with bullying-each day more than 160,000 kids across the country are absent because they're afraid of being bullied-but for many districts it's just one more problem that gets swept under the rug. BULLY is a character-driven film. At its heart are those with the most at stake and whose stories each represent a different facet of this crisis. From the first day of school through the last, BULLY will intimately explore the lives of a few of the many courageous people bullying will touch this year.

Here is some more you might find useful>>





In fact, doing the search `Bully documentary´ on YouTube gives you quite a lot of info>> http://www.youtube.c...c.1.XFe58kCPmu0

I havnet been bullied but I have defended those who have been in school, and I tell you, many bullies are some bunch of insecure pathetic creatures.
Good luck with you child, hope you get some help.

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