I'd like a poem describing my style of writing from an outside perspective rather than mine own. Search this section I believe I have six posted. Am really curious how my writing is perceived. Many thanks in advance.
5
3 votes
The poets Challenge.
Challenge would-be poets with Requests for Poems
Started by Professor T , Aug 31 2012 09:39 PM
challenge poetry requests having fun
Started by Professor T , Aug 31 2012 09:39 PM
169 replies to this topic
#16
Aus Der Box Skeptisch
-
- Member
-
- 2,652 posts
apologist by opinion
- Joined:19 Aug 2010
- Gender:Male
- Location:arizona (originally the wisconsin/minnesota area eh!)
-
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ―Siddhārtha Gautama
Posted 07 September 2012 - 12:08 AM
"Though I stand in opposition to you, I am not opposed to you. Night and Day stand in opposition to each other, but they are not opposed to each other -they are merely two halves of the same coin."
#17
Aus Der Box Skeptisch
-
- Member
-
- 2,652 posts
apologist by opinion
- Joined:19 Aug 2010
- Gender:Male
- Location:arizona (originally the wisconsin/minnesota area eh!)
-
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ―Siddhārtha Gautama
Posted 07 September 2012 - 12:31 AM
If you use the keyword free writing I belie e you will have a much more narrowed search.
"Though I stand in opposition to you, I am not opposed to you. Night and Day stand in opposition to each other, but they are not opposed to each other -they are merely two halves of the same coin."
#18
orangepeaceful79
-
- Closed
-
- 2,461 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:05 Jan 2012
Posted 07 September 2012 - 12:41 AM
Aus Der Box Skeptisch, on 07 September 2012 - 12:08 AM, said:
I'd like a poem describing my style of writing from an outside perspective rather than mine own. Search this section I believe I have six posted. Am really curious how my writing is perceived. Many thanks in advance.
in a lock
a quiet key turns
slowy the handle is
rotated and into the mind
of Aus Der Box Skeptisch
the reader is spun
images flow freely,
the images of a life unadorned
regular folks doing regular things
absent pomposity and grandiosity
each footfall is felt, each thought palpable
bringing reality to the page in a way that is both
desperate and soothing simulaneously, synchronicity
winding and falling like leaves on the grey fall breeze
Each word leading the reader further and further into the ordinary
#19
Aus Der Box Skeptisch
-
- Member
-
- 2,652 posts
apologist by opinion
- Joined:19 Aug 2010
- Gender:Male
- Location:arizona (originally the wisconsin/minnesota area eh!)
-
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ―Siddhārtha Gautama
Posted 07 September 2012 - 02:09 AM
orangepeaceful79, on 07 September 2012 - 12:41 AM, said:
in a lock
a quiet key turns
slowy the handle is
rotated and into the mind
of Aus Der Box Skeptisch
the reader is spun
images flow freely,
the images of a life unadorned
regular folks doing regular things
absent pomposity and grandiosity
each footfall is felt, each thought palpable
bringing reality to the page in a way that is both
desperate and soothing simulaneously, synchronicity
winding and falling like leaves on the grey fall breeze
Each word leading the reader further and further into the ordinary
thank you again.
"Though I stand in opposition to you, I am not opposed to you. Night and Day stand in opposition to each other, but they are not opposed to each other -they are merely two halves of the same coin."
#20
orangepeaceful79
-
- Closed
-
- 2,461 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:05 Jan 2012
Posted 07 September 2012 - 02:23 AM
Aus Der Box Skeptisch, on 07 September 2012 - 02:09 AM, said:
Thank you for the poem. It is always humbling to see through the eyes of another. I enjoyed the reference to synchronicity. A term coined by Carl jung if my memory serves. To expand a bit on a few lines I do find that the ordinary tends to serve us things that can be viewed as amazing where most find only mundane.
thank you again.
thank you again.
It was a challenge I was happy to accept. what better way to see how others see your work than to request that they write a poem in what they feel is the voice of your writing. I'm glad that you found my humble attempt appropriate.
#21
Aus Der Box Skeptisch
-
- Member
-
- 2,652 posts
apologist by opinion
- Joined:19 Aug 2010
- Gender:Male
- Location:arizona (originally the wisconsin/minnesota area eh!)
-
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ―Siddhārtha Gautama
Posted 07 September 2012 - 02:30 AM
orangepeaceful79, on 07 September 2012 - 02:23 AM, said:
It was a challenge I was happy to accept. what better way to see how others see your work than to request that they write a poem in what they feel is the voice of your writing. I'm glad that you found my humble attempt appropriate.
"Though I stand in opposition to you, I am not opposed to you. Night and Day stand in opposition to each other, but they are not opposed to each other -they are merely two halves of the same coin."
#22
Professor T
-
- Member
-
- 1,613 posts
!
- Joined:11 Jul 2012
- Gender:Not Selected
Posted 07 September 2012 - 09:20 PM
Mentalcase, on 06 September 2012 - 02:52 PM, said:
I want a song with a chorus about the future of Technology. 
Maybe a rap song?
Maybe a rap song?Hi Mentalcase. Thanks for Posting..
Have to admit I'm not much of a Rapper. I had to run off to youtube for Inspiration.. Gorillaz "dirty harry".
Anyhow, Hope you enjoy.
Was thinking cypbernetics as the future technology.
Wired..
In essence what I'm Saying,
The truth of my delusion,
Is all the worlds a changing,
We're breaking the Illusion.
I'm everywhere and nowhere,
Connected to the World,
Microchips and Sensors,
make my reality unfurl.
Of rockets in the sky at night,
Satellites that beam their light,
None of that'll matter soon
Because....
(chorus)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
Don't matter what you ask me,
I'll always know the Truth,
My mind is wired to the Web,
My wisdom born of youth.
Don't need no Television,
All I do is close my eyes,
and build a new reality,
of space or other fantasy,
inventing new Technology,
Created Microscopically,
Transmitted Telepathically,
I can do it Mathematically,
And all of this I can do Because...
(chorus x2)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
#23
sarah_444
-
- Member
-
- 2,291 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:31 Dec 2011
- Gender:Female
- Location:The Golden Horseshoe
-
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -Henry David Thoreau
Posted 08 September 2012 - 04:36 AM
I would like someone to write a poem about one of their best or worst dreams, whichever you prefer. Try to recreate the emotions/sensations you felt best as possible. You choose the the style.
#24
Mentalcase
-
- Member
-
- 5,101 posts
Space Cadet
- Joined:23 Aug 2001
- Gender:Male
- Location:Chi-Town
-
Most Thugish Member of the Six Worst Men of the Apfelschnaps
Posted 08 September 2012 - 03:27 PM
Professor T, on 07 September 2012 - 09:20 PM, said:
Hi Mentalcase. Thanks for Posting..
Have to admit I'm not much of a Rapper. I had to run off to youtube for Inspiration.. Gorillaz "dirty harry".
Anyhow, Hope you enjoy.
Was thinking cypbernetics as the future technology.
Wired..
In essence what I'm Saying,
The truth of my delusion,
Is all the worlds a changing,
We're breaking the Illusion.
I'm everywhere and nowhere,
Connected to the World,
Microchips and Sensors,
make my reality unfurl.
Of rockets in the sky at night,
Satellites that beam their light,
None of that'll matter soon
Because....
(chorus)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
Don't matter what you ask me,
I'll always know the Truth,
My mind is wired to the Web,
My wisdom born of youth.
Don't need no Television,
All I do is close my eyes,
and build a new reality,
of space or other fantasy,
inventing new Technology,
Created Microscopically,
Transmitted Telepathically,
I can do it Mathematically,
And all of this I can do Because...
(chorus x2)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
Have to admit I'm not much of a Rapper. I had to run off to youtube for Inspiration.. Gorillaz "dirty harry".
Anyhow, Hope you enjoy.
Was thinking cypbernetics as the future technology.
Wired..
In essence what I'm Saying,
The truth of my delusion,
Is all the worlds a changing,
We're breaking the Illusion.
I'm everywhere and nowhere,
Connected to the World,
Microchips and Sensors,
make my reality unfurl.
Of rockets in the sky at night,
Satellites that beam their light,
None of that'll matter soon
Because....
(chorus)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
Don't matter what you ask me,
I'll always know the Truth,
My mind is wired to the Web,
My wisdom born of youth.
Don't need no Television,
All I do is close my eyes,
and build a new reality,
of space or other fantasy,
inventing new Technology,
Created Microscopically,
Transmitted Telepathically,
I can do it Mathematically,
And all of this I can do Because...
(chorus x2)
I'm Wired.
Yeah, I got magnets in my Brain.
Telepathy & E.S.P. are running through my Veins.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Don't you hack me,
I'll flame you with a fire-wall and that'll you to your knees.
I'm Wired.
Yeah, Let's connect, you and me,
Just close your eyes, and you will see, a world created virtually.
Hell yeah boi! You nailed it! Good job!!
I think that it is much more likely that the reports of flying saucers are the results of the known irrational characteristics of terrestrial intelligence than of the unknown rational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence ~Richard Feynman"Just words you know" ~Written/composed by Mentalcase
#25
orangepeaceful79
-
- Closed
-
- 2,461 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:05 Jan 2012
Posted 08 September 2012 - 11:55 PM
sarah_444, on 08 September 2012 - 04:36 AM, said:
I would like someone to write a poem about one of their best or worst dreams, whichever you prefer. Try to recreate the emotions/sensations you felt best as possible. You choose the the style.
I accept this challenge....just need some time to think. Back atcha laters......
#26
orangepeaceful79
-
- Closed
-
- 2,461 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:05 Jan 2012
Posted 09 September 2012 - 01:23 AM
sarah_444, on 08 September 2012 - 04:36 AM, said:
I would like someone to write a poem about one of their best or worst dreams, whichever you prefer. Try to recreate the emotions/sensations you felt best as possible. You choose the the style.
Extended Haiku style
Green Light
My love and I stand
trees whispering about us
green light on our skin
We met in this place
chosen by a shared power
power that draws us...
Closer and closer
walking and talking hands held
her eyes seeing me
Her hair dark, ebony
her smile full of grace and joy
she knows me fully
nearby a waterfall
rushes over rocks burbling
accompanies us
my heart overflows
with love and laughter so fine
she brings it to me
as we walk and talk
stop to kiss and touch softly
green light on our skin
best dream ever!
Edited by orangepeaceful79, 09 September 2012 - 01:24 AM.
#27
blueandyellow
-
- Member
-
- 16 posts
Alien Embryo
- Joined:19 Mar 2012
- Gender:Female
-
well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
Posted 09 September 2012 - 02:10 AM
orangepeaceful79, on 09 September 2012 - 01:23 AM, said:
Extended Haiku style
Green Light
My love and I stand
trees whispering about us
green light on our skin
We met in this place
chosen by a shared power
power that draws us...
Closer and closer
walking and talking hands held
her eyes seeing me
Her hair dark, ebony
her smile full of grace and joy
she knows me fully
nearby a waterfall
rushes over rocks burbling
accompanies us
my heart overflows
with love and laughter so fine
she brings it to me
as we walk and talk
stop to kiss and touch softly
green light on our skin
best dream ever!Wow; fantastic job! It sounds like a pretty perfect dream.
#28
orangepeaceful79
-
- Closed
-
- 2,461 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:05 Jan 2012
Posted 09 September 2012 - 02:19 AM
blueandyellow, on 09 September 2012 - 02:10 AM, said:
Wow; fantastic job! It sounds like a pretty perfect dream.
Indeed it was. thanks.
#29
sarah_444
-
- Member
-
- 2,291 posts
Poltergeist
- Joined:31 Dec 2011
- Gender:Female
- Location:The Golden Horseshoe
-
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -Henry David Thoreau
Posted 09 September 2012 - 02:23 AM
orangepeaceful79, on 09 September 2012 - 01:23 AM, said:
Extended Haiku style
Green Light
My love and I stand
trees whispering about us
green light on our skin
We met in this place
chosen by a shared power
power that draws us...
Closer and closer
walking and talking hands held
her eyes seeing me
Her hair dark, ebony
her smile full of grace and joy
she knows me fully
nearby a waterfall
rushes over rocks burbling
accompanies us
my heart overflows
with love and laughter so fine
she brings it to me
as we walk and talk
stop to kiss and touch softly
green light on our skin
best dream ever!I love that! So much love and happiness in that dream flowed perfectly into your poem. I can see how it would be a memorable one. And of course, extra points for the extended haiku.
Great job!
#30
Professor T
-
- Member
-
- 1,613 posts
!
- Joined:11 Jul 2012
- Gender:Not Selected
Posted 09 September 2012 - 08:23 AM
sarah_444, on 08 September 2012 - 04:36 AM, said:
I would like someone to write a poem about one of their best or worst dreams, whichever you prefer. Try to recreate the emotions/sensations you felt best as possible. You choose the the style.
Hi Sarah, Thanks for posting the challenge!
I see that orangepeaceful has posted a beauty.. that was awesome!
After much thought, I've decided to post a re-occuring nightmare I once had many years ago..
Hope it isn't catching like the flu I've got..
Falling beam of light.
Golden sands lay flat across the Horizon,
not a grain out of place against a clear blue sky.
And proudly shining into the heavens beams a yellow light.
straight and true, a highway to heaven, it's an awesome sight..
But slowly the beam of yellow falters and tips,
Like a tower it falls and I stare in shock.
The golden sand shatters into shards of black glass,
cutting me, consuming me, I wake with a gasp..
.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
