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Newspaper Headlines From 2035


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#1    Magikman

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Posted 26 November 2001 - 08:00 PM

   Newspaper headlines from the year 2035:

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Nursing home event... Bill Clinton
denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

MAGIKMAN :D

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. ~ Carl Sagan

"...man has an irrepressible tendency to read meaning into the buzzing confusion of sights and sounds impinging on his senses; and where no agreed meaning can be found, he will provide it out of his own imagination." ~ Arthur Koestler

#2    odinsupreme

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Posted 20 December 2001 - 09:27 PM

Magikman,

LOL

;D

Odin Supreme


#3    Magikman

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Posted 17 January 2002 - 07:50 PM

Didn't want to go through the trouble of starting a new thread, but I thought some of you might find this a bit humerous;

http://www.rense.com/general19/nopun.htm

MAGIKMAN  :D

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. ~ Carl Sagan

"...man has an irrepressible tendency to read meaning into the buzzing confusion of sights and sounds impinging on his senses; and where no agreed meaning can be found, he will provide it out of his own imagination." ~ Arthur Koestler

#4    PurpleStuart

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Posted 17 January 2002 - 08:12 PM

;D ;D ;D ;D

never take me too seriously

#5    Guest__*

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Posted 17 January 2002 - 11:04 PM

;D ;D ;D ;D


#6    odinsupreme

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Posted 18 January 2002 - 07:26 PM

LOL. (I didn't want to repeat the ;D;D;D;D)

Odin Supreme 8)





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