Empathy and Pathokinesis

[OnixMoon35]

Hi there well I guess I will start by saying I do believe myself to be strongly emotionaly empathic ive always been able to feel and sense if you will what others are feeling. When I was younger I knew something was different but I didn't understand it at all. Honestly I still don't think I fully understand the extent or how my abilities work.

Add to that I'm not fully comfortable talking to most people about what I can do out of fear of them thinking im nuts! I guess so thats kinda of frustrating. As of late its been brought to my attention that it seams I am also able to actually manipulate others emotions to some degree. When I say manipulate I do not mean "feed off of" I am not a energy Vampire least I don't try to be.

I will admit I have at times knowingly tried to cheer friends up or relax them when they are stressed or depressed and it usually works. I've been told this is a bad thing to do because they do not ask for me to do this? also that when I am using my empathy and I pick up on some ones emotion that's also bad cause its "reading them with out there consent"

Honestly I mean no harm i've always used that ability to help me interact with others if that makes sense. Its not done in a malicious way and I wouldn't know how to not sense things off people anyways.

I don't know I guess i'm just confused about all of this and if I am some how doing harm I def dont want to but this just is how I am and have always been any advice is greatly appreciated thanks.

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Hi and welcome to UM,

I'm strongly empathetic as well as mediumistic, and go through periods where i lose control of the empathy. I wouldn't mind seeing a good empathy thread get started as quite a few empaths have been posting lately. Every time i go through that phase i am challenged to develop or find another way to handle the energies and emotions of others. Regular shielding, grounding etc doesn't seem to work easily as it should. So what i have identified is my empathy seems to revolve around what other people or places / environments are repressing or suppressing. This means that something makes a pathway between what is being suppressed or unable to be expressed - to me so it can be expressed, given a voice, released and cleared.

This would be fine and easy to accept as a healing ability if i could control it, but it is not fine because it happens sometimes so suddenly and i take on the ill effects until all the transmuting is done. So i am working to find that balance where i don't have to take it on, but can still release it and luckily i have a new guide now who is helping me with this. If anyone has any ideas or methods please feel free to say!

I mention this because it brings up what you are enquiring about with the boundaries. Yes there is many people who are very defensive about what is acceptable and what is not in regards to reading /picking up energies without peoples consent, but if anyone could live a day in a persons shoes whose empathy levels revolves around releasing and grounding all the utter crap that people repress and never deal with, then they would soon realise that unless they themselves are practising responsible boundaries and not projecting all the over the place and onto others, then there is no such thing as being able to AVOID picking up on some peoples emotions. The world of an empath is like being in a supermarket where everyone is trying to ignore the person passing off bad gas. Everyone knows where it is coming from and how it is affecting the radius of the person by 10x emitting into everyone's space, but no one wants to say anything or show they can smell the smell in case people think it's them. lol

So it is all fine and dandy for people to say blah blah, but it does not make it a 'bad' thing if u inadvertently do just start getting downloads or picking up things from people. The majority of people have no idea at all just how inappropriate they are being energetically, projecting and letting everything all hang out lose, or misfiring and plotting their childish emotions over silly little things. All those people who talk about it being bad to read without consent are all still reading and picking things up anyway, the difference is they just try to keep it themselves instead of expressing what maybe needs to be expressed or let go. And that is what i used to do and now it is what i am being told to stop doing.

Consent to read can be asked for by simply asking the persons higher-self if you can have permission to acknowledge/inform the person, of whatever it is. If the higherself blocks you or doesn't consent, then you ask the higher-self to immediately remove the persons condition/energy/ emotion from your space as a fair exchange / contract of boundaries now being recognised, disconnected and respected. If the higher-self does give you permission, then you simply ask the person if they mind that you tell them something you are picking up. If the person declines, then ask the higherself to remove and disconnect the energy immediately.

So the boundary thing needs a fresh approach i think, it is not that i don't keep boundaries or expect others too, because i do i am very strong with my sense of boundary. It's just properly understanding boundaries in the subtle /energetic levels. First understand what boundaries really are and that if you feel yours are being broken, consider could you be the one breaching someone elses. The energy it self knows no laws or the human need to control, it just flows where it is guided or directed too. So when someone's stuff or emotion starts floating onto your radar, who breached who ? or is it possible they breached your boundaries first and that by giving them a reading you voice what is needing to be expressed or pulling their attention to what needs to be addressed before it becomes completely suppressed?

If you can't communicate with the person in 3d, their 3d self then take it to their higherself. The higherself is never going to allow anything harmful or inappropriate to happen if it is asked to be an active role.

[SSilhouette]

In the last 10 years or so, since a lengthy illness, I have noticed that when I am watching something on TV and someone gets hurt, that exact part of my body feels the same sensation of an injury there just like what I am watching. I think it's because I'm sort of in a trance when I watch TV like most people do. It isn't so pronounced in "actual" life. Other things have woken up in that same time frame. Weird things. But this is the part that fits this thread so?

[OnixMoon35]

1st off ty guys for taking the time to reply to my post your insight was much appreciated and its comforting to know i'm not alone in dealing with things like this. As was said being an emotional empath can be hard cause those emotions flood on in most times weather or not I'm looking for them!

Seams especially if the person is in some kind of emotional turmoil at the time its like being near a nuclear reactor thats melting down the energy is just there in your face! So I take it in and sort it out and figure out the best way to deal with that person at that given time.

This is like a six sense more then something that is done maliciously have I knowing used my empathic abilities? yes but only as I say to guide me in dealing with people. The advanced empathy the changing others emotions i've done as well but as I say only to their benefit far as i'm aware of.I don't know perhaps there have been other times I did with out even knowing and that weighs on my mind cause I do not want to change anyone's free will knowingly.

Far as grounding or shielding I don't know how to do either i've never been taught anything about my abilities so i'm pretty much winging it with no manual here and trying to figure out how it exactly works as I go...i've found what I can on line about empathy but far as actually becoming trained and controlling it I really have no clue were to start..

Its funny if I think about it people/friends have often said stuff like "theres something about you and I cant put my finger on it" or one was like "for some reason you can always make me feel better" if they only knew if they could only really understand. But I keep quiet just as I always have I dunno empathy is a blessing and a curse I guess some times I just don't want to know the things I do..

[OnixMoon35]

In the last 10 years or so, since a lengthy illness, I have noticed that when I am watching something on TV and someone gets hurt, that exact part of my body feels the same sensation of an injury there just like what I am watching. I think it's because I'm sort of in a trance when I watch TV like most people do. It isn't so pronounced in "actual" life. Other things have woken up in that same time frame. Weird things. But this is the part that fits this thread so?

That is a type of empathy im not to sure right now exactly what its called but yeah you are right it is a empathic ability far as I know I don't get the physical sensations but I can feel the emotions in much the same way..

[Beany]

I have found for myself that once I have identified what I'm feeling is an empathic experience of them, I'm much more comfortable with the situation. I see it like this: everyone has their own unique path they're walking, I have no right to interfere with it because I don't know anything about it. My job is just to be aware and be emotionally available & supportive should that person choose to talk about it. The wonderful thing about being empathic is that we have a much better understanding of what the issues are, the conditions that caused it, and so are in a better position to provide the kind of support the person needs, without having to take that on ourselves.

We can't help being empathic, nor picking up signals, it's not a volitional invasion of someone's privacy. Where the line often gets crossed is when we try to "help" that person, using the information we've picked up. It is not our right to force a person into a conversation about something they may not be ready to have, whether we feel like we're "helping" or not. Sometimes we can create a space that person can step into, if they so choose, to talk about what's bothering them, but it has to be their choice, not ours. Empaths can have a lot of insight, which can be a useful tool in relationships, but shouldn't lead us to violating someone's right to privacy. Traumatic things happen to people which causes them shame, guilt, anger, all kinds of emotions, and some of which, unless we are professional counselors or psychologists, we shouldn't be dinking with. What we can do is support them, offer some words of hope or love, and let it go.

[Purplos]

I'm not arguing or refuting anything here, but I really just don't understand.

ive always been able to feel and sense if you will what others are feeling.

Everyone can do this if they pay attention to others. This is how people are supposed to be. We pick up on others emotions by their mannerisms, rate or breathing, what they say or do not say, etc. This is perfectly normal...

As of late its been brought to my attention that it seams I am also able to actually manipulate others emotions to some degree.

I will admit I have at times knowingly tried to cheer friends up or relax them when they are stressed or depressed and it usually works.

Again, how is this not completely normal? If your friend is upset, you try to cheer them up or relax them when they are stressed.

Do you mean you do this from afar without ever seeing or talking to the person?

I've been told this is a bad thing to do because they do not ask for me to do this? also that when I am using my empathy and I pick up on some ones emotion that's also bad cause its "reading them with out there consent"

I find it incredibly sad that anyone would think recognizing when a friend is upset and trying to make them feel better is 'bad.' Good grief.

[OnixMoon35]

I'm not arguing or refuting anything here, but I really just don't understand.

Everyone can do this if they pay attention to others. This is how people are supposed to be. We pick up on others emotions by their mannerisms, rate or breathing, what they say or do not say, etc. This is perfectly normal...

(Yes I see what you mean....How ever I can do this with out even being in the same room as a person I can do it thu hearing a voice only.. I prob should have added that in my original posts..and I have picked up on things that the person was in no way lets say "advertising" in any particular way..it can be hard to explain I suppose if you are not doing it yourself)..

Again, how is this not completely normal? If your friend is upset, you try to cheer them up or relax them when they are stressed.

Do you mean you do this from afar without ever seeing or talking to the person?

(Yes again I see your point but its to the extent that I can alter there emotions no "try" it happens and it goes beyond "cheering up a friend" I can also make people that were previously quite mad at me totally forget like nothing ever happened and everythings great again then when I go they kinda snap out of it that was how one friend of mine explained it to me anyways.. Sigh..again I guess unless you know what its like its hard to believe...

So yes I can do it from a far or close up to answer your question..)

I find it incredibly sad that anyone would think recognizing when a friend is upset and trying to make them feel better is 'bad.' Good grief.

(Yeah I kinda do to to be honest..)

Edited August 31, 2013 by OnixMoon35

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Where the line often gets crossed is when we try to "help" that person, using the information we've picked up. It is not our right to force a person into a conversation about something they may not be ready to have, whether we feel like we're "helping" or not.

Amen to that. No one should force anything.

I think there is an ego lesson associated with helping / healing that every healer / empath goes through one way or another. I can't help but have noticed it happen to many and those i have discussed it with agree also. It works something like this - Within the ego there is part that likes to feel needed, there is a role that can meet that need by becoming the person that everyone goes to, and feels comfortable with. The healer is happy because their need to feel needed is fulfilled by focusing on other peoples problems and not their own, and the people / friends/ associates are relieved because they have someone who can help or take some of the burden and everyone likes the novelty at first of someone who can read them.

Over time, though something begins to happen, an imbalance develops and the healer begins to feel taken for granted or should i say the ego part starts to feel taken for granted, it recognises on some level that the energy exchange is imbalanced . This begins an inner conflict that tends to happen as the people they consider friends or close confidants begin to drop away like flies once they are fixed. They have no need for the healer/reader friend any-more or at least until something else goes wrong. The healer feels exhausted because they have been spending all their energy fixing other people while ignoring themselves, then then feel used because they realise people only want to be around them when they need something.

The whole thing could be avoided if the healer stopped coming from the ego and stopped putting their needs last after everyone's else's.

The healer also needs to recognise that the contract (by law of attraction) that they were putting out was for their ego need to feel needed and that on this level of attraction, they were getting what they wanted from others who could only resonate with that call, the need to be fixed by someone. When the healer can understand that mutual friendships are unlikely to result from that equation, and that the people who move on when they are fixed are only doing what they were contracted to do, then they can start to amend what it is they really need and not get caught up in what they think they need from other people.

Here is the cycle that eventually leads to the awareness and waking up for the healer - You can apply this to friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships etc

Healers ego feels the need to be needed -----> Attracts people with a ego needing to be fixed -----> Healer gives until the person feels fixed or finds another source of energy -----> Person moves on leaving healer feeling exhausted and unworthy -----> Healers ego feels the need to feel needed and validated even more strongly --------> A new person comes along who needs fixed badly ------->Healer feels better because they have a new project that distracts them from their own bad feelings. --------> Person who needs fixed has given up responsibility to fix themselves --------> healer continues to try and fix and each time they fix something, something else happens that needs fixed ------------> Person eventually finds a new source to take on their burden as the healer begins to exhaust ----------> healer wakes up and realises that we all have our own lessons in life and that what may seem easy to them to fix may be difficult and contain stepping stones unknown to the healer that the person has to do for themselves. And that to interfere with that lesson or complete the lesson for that person it will only mean the universe will send that person another lesson until they get it done for themselves.

The healer by proxy has learned the lesson of healing / helping and then can begin to really master themselves by fixing their own needs and then being in a place where they can help people help themselves and help people to see what they need to do fro themselves, instead of being used to fulfil a contract of ego needs. The healer is then able to separate work from pleasure and have clear boundaries, and have friends who really like them for just being them and not their resources / energy.

Anyway, back to the empath

Something that was not mentioned yet was sometimes when someone feels like they were pressured into talking about something they later wish they hadn't, or struggle to understand why they felt unusually at ease with you, even though they were OK with it during the conversation (because i have been on that end of the stick) it can backfire and they will blame YOU, and feel threatened by you and will likely put more defences up or change their tune to you completely, so OP pay attention. The more you become involved with trying to feel out people and take the role as the empath/reader with them the more this is going to present itself.

Sometimes it happens because the person has issues which relate to a sense of power loss if they feel someone can get past their barriers. Others simply aren't 'ready'? to face themselves and feel threatened by someone who emits a higher vibrational energy field which acts pretty much like a mirror, a reflection to them. They will automatically not like you because what they perceive in you or about you is their own issues staring them back in the face. This is what happens for example when people start astral projecting into higher frequencies/ dimensions, any issues / belief systems become reflected in the beings they meet and they can't understand why they have to wrestle with all these monsters. It takes a lot of awareness to 'know' when another being is reflecting you, and most people don't have that awareness so they either feel repulsed towards you and blame you, if they are not ready to deal with their own issues, or they will feel drawn to you because they see something that makes sense.

The last thing empaths have to be aware of is in the laws of energy manipulation - If you can manipulate something, then you are open to being manipulated. There is no getting around that.

If you can manipulate other peoples emotions then be aware these emotions or the person or something attached to the person or source behind the deep seated reason of these emotions, can manipulate you. Knowing this is usually enough i think for most people to respect. And if a lesson is needed to understand this area then it will be given.

Lastly i just wanted to say that in my first post on this thread I never mentioned the way i sense other people emotions. Empathy is not just about emotions, there is many brackets of empathy that range from human emotions to physical, to energies, to the psychic, to the energies of environments, to the earth, nature and so on. Each has a distinct body / field. There is also different ways empathy is experienced as well, the whole body may be used as a medium for balancing/transmuting / reading/ releasing energies although i would say this is far advanced because of the awareness levels it encompasses, but empathy grows as the awareness of consciousness grows. It's not just about feeling other peoples emotions and being able to raise or change their moods that is basic human interaction to a degree. What you are essentially doing with that is changing the frequency of the emotional energy field which is one of the aura bodies.

I feel the energy frequency of the emotional body, the mental body, the astral body, and the physical condition of the body, as well the energetic condition of the body. I can go through several layers of the auric field rather than just the emotion it self. The energy frequency of the emotional body for example is what i lose control of from time to time, if someone is very angry for example i don't 'feel anger', i feel the frequency level of that anger and where it corresponds in the body - normally the root and stomach becomes like sharp needles compressing inwards if the person is really projecting that anger, and an example of losing control of it would be physically my stomach would become upset, ie i will have a stomach upset. I am getting better now at blocking the extremes of peoples emotions, but i never made that clear that how i sense it is not as an emotion but it's energetic form. Anxiety or suppressed anxiety is one of the worse.

For example, A month or so ago i was out with friends for a meal and one of the people there had a very strong distorted energy field shaped mostly by suppressed anxiety/phobias and as a result the energy field was very ungrounded and extremely high pitched in frequency and exaggerated around the head. The person exerted a lot of suppression and control over their anxieties and a lot energy was going into this. Like i mentioned in my first post my empathy seems to make a pathway for whatever is needing expressed in people, places, nature. I was able to read this and i could feel the imbalance around my head, my crown/third eye and into my heart, but i was having incredible difficulty not feeling it. In a situation like this it is me who feels violated as i am doing everything i can to stop my boundaries being encroached on another level. It is not fun in the slightest feeling ill or physically having to go through this when it is not wanted.

I didn't want to feel it and i never said a word to the person about it either. As the night wore on i started to feel worse and worse, eventually my energy field couldn't take it anymore and i spent the rest of the night being sick in the bathroom purging all this. The moment i left the place everything cleared up like magic and i felt back to normal.

Edited August 31, 2013 by bLu3 de 3n3rgy

[Blue Star]

[OnixMoon35]

Agreed nothing should ever be forced I might ask in general if theres anything they would like to talk about but if they say no I let it be and never push a topic some times they come back to me later and end up talking sometimes not..I dunno about my ego I generally do not tell anyone about this part of my life in any detail other then to be a shoulder to cry on if that makes sense.

I have only one friend who I opened up to and shared this with and only because she is a very open minded person so I guess I felt comfortable enough so when I saw she was struggling with an issue I did my best to help her. I do like helping people it doesn't make me feel particularly important and I don't see myself as "special" in any way its just the satisfaction in knowing I hopefully made a difference in a positive way for some one..

[AwakenAscension]

I hope that this isn't off subject, I don't really know alot about actual psychic terminology but is this empathic.. is it related or directly connected to actual human empathy toward others? Pretty much all my understanding has come naturally, so I apologize for any misunderstanding of the word-meanings for any abilities.

The reason I ask, if it is related to (or an extension of, or triggered by..) the normal ability to feel emotional empathy toward others, is because I had a near death experience a few years ago and, my whole life BEFORE THAT, I was Completely UNABLE to feel real empathy or TRULY feel pain for another. I was very good at pretending I did. And I could feel bad about something I didn't want to happen to someone. But that isn't the same thing. I manipulated & hurt people back then as just a way of life and only felt guilt if it didn't turn out good for me.

After that happened to me, a few years ago- I don't know if some switch in my brain got jarred a certain way or what- but I have had a very powerful and incredibly deep feeling of what others are going through. it was overwhelming, at first. I had never in my life felt things like that. Shortly after, I began having deep insights & belief into the nature of things. I don't like to use concrete definitions like someone "is psychic" and another person "isn't psychic". I think it is alot more complex than that. It's like saying one person is artistic and another is not. It's sort of an opinion or level of talent. I like to say I understand things on a much deeper level than before and have become an amazing guesser. But the fact that this began just after I began feeling actual human empathy toward others tells me the two must be related, somewhere, and so I ask.

Again, my apologies if this isn't exactly what you mean by empathetic, in psychic terminology.

[OnixMoon35]

I hope that this isn't off subject, I don't really know alot about actual psychic terminology but is this empathic.. is it related or directly connected to actual human empathy toward others? Pretty much all my understanding has come naturally, so I apologize for any misunderstanding of the word-meanings for any abilities.

The reason I ask, if it is related to (or an extension of, or triggered by..) the normal ability to feel emotional empathy toward others, is because I had a near death experience a few years ago and, my whole life BEFORE THAT, I was Completely UNABLE to feel real empathy or TRULY feel pain for another. I was very good at pretending I did. And I could feel bad about something I didn't want to happen to someone. But that isn't the same thing. I manipulated & hurt people back then as just a way of life and only felt guilt if it didn't turn out good for me.

After that happened to me, a few years ago- I don't know if some switch in my brain got jarred a certain way or what- but I have had a very powerful and incredibly deep feeling of what others are going through. it was overwhelming, at first. I had never in my life felt things like that. Shortly after, I began having deep insights & belief into the nature of things. I don't like to use concrete definitions like someone "is psychic" and another person "isn't psychic". I think it is alot more complex than that. It's like saying one person is artistic and another is not. It's sort of an opinion or level of talent. I like to say I understand things on a much deeper level than before and have become an amazing guesser. But the fact that this began just after I began feeling actual human empathy toward others tells me the two must be related, somewhere, and so I ask.

Again, my apologies if this isn't exactly what you mean by empathetic, in psychic terminology.

Hi there I'll try to answer your questions best I can I do believe being empathic is connected to basic human empathy and to some level yes I guess as others have said every one can tell when some one is visibly upset or sad or happy or what ever emotion they are displaying at any given time.

Now the thing with emotional empaths is we can tune into those emotions on a much higher level if you will. Far as your near death experience yes I do believe such events can trigger abilities to manifest were there once were none. All tho i've had my empathic tendencies since as long as I can remember I have found after trauma of any sort they can some times intensify as I grow older also it seams to be getting stronger and evolving as well..

So I suppose yes its quite possible your so called "switch" got flipped..Now I personally and I hope you take no offence to this cause I do not mean it in that way honestly. But I also believe that things happen for a reason and life teaches us all the lessons we need to learn in time some pleasant some not.

As in you now can truly feel the hurt of others after a long time of not taking others feelings into consideration so welcome to a new level of understanding. It can be confusing at times your right and it is quite complex agreed. Tho i've had this all my life I still do not completely understand it all.

I guess in the end it all comes down to energy in its purest form all living things give off energy and our brains with there vast amount of neurons is like a energy over load and for some people its just wired a bit differently.. But meh I am rambling and I apologize no worries about the exact terminology in the end its getting the idea across that counts...Hope I some what answered your questions thanks for the post..

[AwakenAscension]

No offence at all. Feeling and affecting the pain and joy of others, deeply, is a blessing and has filled me with purpose and life. I used to believe that the mind is just a function of the brain. But now I have come to feel and experience that the mind is not just some seperate function. EVERYWHERE you Feel sensations, is a part of the mind/spirit. Not just throughout the body but beyond it, as well. Thank you.

[Beany]

(Yeah I kinda do to to be honest..)

Whether I'm empathic or not, I always try to support my friends, to offer whatever words of comfort or wisdom I have when they are distressed. I think everyone does, and that's a good thing. Where I'm careful is to not reveal what "secrets" I'm picking up that may contribute to that distress, i.e. you're upset with your parents, did you think their continual verbal & emotional abuse of you when you were a child may be an important contributing factor? I sympathize with the first part, and listen to them express their feelings, but leave them the choice of what or how much to share with me. That I'm aware of the history with the parents helps me give more meaningful support (I hope!), but if we're going to talk about the abuse I leave it for them to bring up.

I have had people become physically ill when they realized I knew far more about them than could be logically explained, and people back away because they knew I could "read" them. So my commitment is to be the best friend I can be, with all that implies, and put away the empathic stuff until/if a time comes so share that. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, I simply trust spirit to guide me in this area, especially when I perceive possible physical harm, either self-inflicted or from another person, and I feel intervention may be necessary. Should have said this earlier, maybe. It's a very complicated topic, and I think everyone handles it in a way that works for them. I used to think because the information came to me, I needed to share it, now I no longer do that, instead I use it as a tool to help me find the best way to provide support & love. Because what I've found is that is what so many people need: unconditional love. And to find ways to love & respect & honor themselves. For me, that is the greatest privilege & honor, to help people find their way to that, being empathic helps me do that. I believe that is when true healing occurs, when love is present

Edited September 2, 2013 by Beany

[Beany]

Amen to that. No one should force anything.

I think there is an ego lesson associated with helping / healing that every healer / empath goes through one way or another. I can't help but have noticed it happen to many and those i have discussed it with agree also. It works something like this - Within the ego there is part that likes to feel needed, there is a role that can meet that need by becoming the person that everyone goes to, and feels comfortable with. The healer is happy because their need to feel needed is fulfilled by focusing on other peoples problems and not their own, and the people / friends/ associates are relieved because they have someone who can help or take some of the burden and everyone likes the novelty at first of someone who can read them.

Over time, though something begins to happen, an imbalance develops and the healer begins to feel taken for granted or should i say the ego part starts to feel taken for granted, it recognises on some level that the energy exchange is imbalanced . This begins an inner conflict that tends to happen as the people they consider friends or close confidants begin to drop away like flies once they are fixed. They have no need for the healer/reader friend any-more or at least until something else goes wrong. The healer feels exhausted because they have been spending all their energy fixing other people while ignoring themselves, then then feel used because they realise people only want to be around them when they need something.

The whole thing could be avoided if the healer stopped coming from the ego and stopped putting their needs last after everyone's else's.

The healer also needs to recognise that the contract (by law of attraction) that they were putting out was for their ego need to feel needed and that on this level of attraction, they were getting what they wanted from others who could only resonate with that call, the need to be fixed by someone. When the healer can understand that mutual friendships are unlikely to result from that equation, and that the people who move on when they are fixed are only doing what they were contracted to do, then they can start to amend what it is they really need and not get caught up in what they think they need from other people.

Here is the cycle that eventually leads to the awareness and waking up for the healer - You can apply this to friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships etc

Healers ego feels the need to be needed -----> Attracts people with a ego needing to be fixed -----> Healer gives until the person feels fixed or finds another source of energy -----> Person moves on leaving healer feeling exhausted and unworthy -----> Healers ego feels the need to feel needed and validated even more strongly --------> A new person comes along who needs fixed badly ------->Healer feels better because they have a new project that distracts them from their own bad feelings. --------> Person who needs fixed has given up responsibility to fix themselves --------> healer continues to try and fix and each time they fix something, something else happens that needs fixed ------------> Person eventually finds a new source to take on their burden as the healer begins to exhaust ----------> healer wakes up and realises that we all have our own lessons in life and that what may seem easy to them to fix may be difficult and contain stepping stones unknown to the healer that the person has to do for themselves. And that to interfere with that lesson or complete the lesson for that person it will only mean the universe will send that person another lesson until they get it done for themselves.

The healer by proxy has learned the lesson of healing / helping and then can begin to really master themselves by fixing their own needs and then being in a place where they can help people help themselves and help people to see what they need to do fro themselves, instead of being used to fulfil a contract of ego needs. The healer is then able to separate work from pleasure and have clear boundaries, and have friends who really like them for just being them and not their resources / energy.

Anyway, back to the empath

Something that was not mentioned yet was sometimes when someone feels like they were pressured into talking about something they later wish they hadn't, or struggle to understand why they felt unusually at ease with you, even though they were OK with it during the conversation (because i have been on that end of the stick) it can backfire and they will blame YOU, and feel threatened by you and will likely put more defences up or change their tune to you completely, so OP pay attention. The more you become involved with trying to feel out people and take the role as the empath/reader with them the more this is going to present itself.

Sometimes it happens because the person has issues which relate to a sense of power loss if they feel someone can get past their barriers. Others simply aren't 'ready'? to face themselves and feel threatened by someone who emits a higher vibrational energy field which acts pretty much like a mirror, a reflection to them. They will automatically not like you because what they perceive in you or about you is their own issues staring them back in the face. This is what happens for example when people start astral projecting into higher frequencies/ dimensions, any issues / belief systems become reflected in the beings they meet and they can't understand why they have to wrestle with all these monsters. It takes a lot of awareness to 'know' when another being is reflecting you, and most people don't have that awareness so they either feel repulsed towards you and blame you, if they are not ready to deal with their own issues, or they will feel drawn to you because they see something that makes sense.

The last thing empaths have to be aware of is in the laws of energy manipulation - If you can manipulate something, then you are open to being manipulated. There is no getting around that.

If you can manipulate other peoples emotions then be aware these emotions or the person or something attached to the person or source behind the deep seated reason of these emotions, can manipulate you. Knowing this is usually enough i think for most people to respect. And if a lesson is needed to understand this area then it will be given.

Lastly i just wanted to say that in my first post on this thread I never mentioned the way i sense other people emotions. Empathy is not just about emotions, there is many brackets of empathy that range from human emotions to physical, to energies, to the psychic, to the energies of environments, to the earth, nature and so on. Each has a distinct body / field. There is also different ways empathy is experienced as well, the whole body may be used as a medium for balancing/transmuting / reading/ releasing energies although i would say this is far advanced because of the awareness levels it encompasses, but empathy grows as the awareness of consciousness grows. It's not just about feeling other peoples emotions and being able to raise or change their moods that is basic human interaction to a degree. What you are essentially doing with that is changing the frequency of the emotional energy field which is one of the aura bodies.

I feel the energy frequency of the emotional body, the mental body, the astral body, and the physical condition of the body, as well the energetic condition of the body. I can go through several layers of the auric field rather than just the emotion it self. The energy frequency of the emotional body for example is what i lose control of from time to time, if someone is very angry for example i don't 'feel anger', i feel the frequency level of that anger and where it corresponds in the body - normally the root and stomach becomes like sharp needles compressing inwards if the person is really projecting that anger, and an example of losing control of it would be physically my stomach would become upset, ie i will have a stomach upset. I am getting better now at blocking the extremes of peoples emotions, but i never made that clear that how i sense it is not as an emotion but it's energetic form. Anxiety or suppressed anxiety is one of the worse.

For example, A month or so ago i was out with friends for a meal and one of the people there had a very strong distorted energy field shaped mostly by suppressed anxiety/phobias and as a result the energy field was very ungrounded and extremely high pitched in frequency and exaggerated around the head. The person exerted a lot of suppression and control over their anxieties and a lot energy was going into this. Like i mentioned in my first post my empathy seems to make a pathway for whatever is needing expressed in people, places, nature. I was able to read this and i could feel the imbalance around my head, my crown/third eye and into my heart, but i was having incredible difficulty not feeling it. In a situation like this it is me who feels violated as i am doing everything i can to stop my boundaries being encroached on another level. It is not fun in the slightest feeling ill or physically having to go through this when it is not wanted.

I didn't want to feel it and i never said a word to the person about it either. As the night wore on i started to feel worse and worse, eventually my energy field couldn't take it anymore and i spent the rest of the night being sick in the bathroom purging all this. The moment i left the place everything cleared up like magic and i felt back to normal.

Reading that was great. I'm glad you took the time for a lengthy post, because it was totally worth reading. Thanks.The thing I try to remember is that 1. Non-judgmental love & acceptance are great healers themselves. 2. I can't fix anyone. Sometimes I can channel energy, or as Frank Fools Crow says, be the hollow bone through which (hopefully) healing energy moves, but the healing comes from something other than me. While I have few answers for anyone, it is my belief that all of us have our own inner knowing that will guide us if we listen to it. It is my great joy to help people get in touch with that inner knowing, to learn to trust it, so they move more freely & joyously into the world.

[Beany]

No offence at all. Feeling and affecting the pain and joy of others, deeply, is a blessing and has filled me with purpose and life. I used to believe that the mind is just a function of the brain. But now I have come to feel and experience that the mind is not just some seperate function. EVERYWHERE you Feel sensations, is a part of the mind/spirit. Not just throughout the body but beyond it, as well. Thank you.

I think I'm lucky in that while I recognize someone's pain/feelings to a pretty exacting degree I don't, and have never, actually felt their pain to the degree they do as if it were my own. Sometimes I take on someone else's emotions, like anxiety, stress, depression, but only to a very mildly, I guess just enough to let me know what's going on with them. I tried a lot of different shielding techniques in the past, found most of them difficult to sustain, so now what I do is send love & light instead of shielding, because I discovered I can't negative energy receive when I'm sending positive energy.

This is a really interesting thread. Almost no one knows I'm empathic, only people I trust and who trust me, so I don't often get a chance to have a conversation about it. I'm getting an education here!

Edited September 2, 2013 by Beany

[OnixMoon35]

Whether I'm empathic or not, I always try to support my friends, to offer whatever words of comfort or wisdom I have when they are distressed. I think everyone does, and that's a good thing. Where I'm careful is to not reveal what "secrets" I'm picking up that may contribute to that distress, i.e. you're upset with your parents, did you think their continual verbal & emotional abuse of you when you were a child may be an important contributing factor? I sympathize with the first part, and listen to them express their feelings, but leave them the choice of what or how much to share with me. That I'm aware of the history with the parents helps me give more meaningful support (I hope!), but if we're going to talk about the abuse I leave it for them to bring up.

I have had people become physically ill when they realized I knew far more about them than could be logically explained, and people back away because they knew I could "read" them. So my commitment is to be the best friend I can be, with all that implies, and put away the empathic stuff until/if a time comes so share that. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, I simply trust spirit to guide me in this area, especially when I perceive possible physical harm, either self-inflicted or from another person, and I feel intervention may be necessary. Should have said this earlier, maybe. It's a very complicated topic, and I think everyone handles it in a way that works for them. I used to think because the information came to me, I needed to share it, now I no longer do that, instead I use it as a tool to help me find the best way to provide support & love. Because what I've found is that is what so many people need: unconditional love. And to find ways to love & respect & honor themselves. For me, that is the greatest privilege & honor, to help people find their way to that, being empathic helps me do that. I believe that is when true healing occurs, when love is present

I really like your view on empathy and thats pretty much how I strive to use mine as a guide to better help me understand and help those in need. Agreed some times I pick up on something that just isn't appropriate to bring to the surface so I don't. And I have had people shy away from me at times and perhaps like you said they can pick up on the fact that maybe theres more to my helpfulness then meets the eye?I don't know I often wonder if such people are themselves gifted in some way.

Believe me I wish for myself anyways that it was as simple as "putting it away" it just doesn't work that way for me I often get things off of hearing peoples voices that I just wish I hadn't. I don't know maybe its something I'm yet to learn but i've never been able to tune it out once it starts flowing..

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

I hope that this isn't off subject, I don't really know alot about actual psychic terminology but is this empathic.. is it related or directly connected to actual human empathy toward others? Pretty much all my understanding has come naturally, so I apologize for any misunderstanding of the word-meanings for any abilities.

The reason I ask, if it is related to (or an extension of, or triggered by..) the normal ability to feel emotional empathy toward others, is because I had a near death experience a few years ago and, my whole life BEFORE THAT, I was Completely UNABLE to feel real empathy or TRULY feel pain for another. I was very good at pretending I did. And I could feel bad about something I didn't want to happen to someone. But that isn't the same thing. I manipulated & hurt people back then as just a way of life and only felt guilt if it didn't turn out good for me.

After that happened to me, a few years ago- I don't know if some switch in my brain got jarred a certain way or what- but I have had a very powerful and incredibly deep feeling of what others are going through. it was overwhelming, at first. I had never in my life felt things like that. Shortly after, I began having deep insights & belief into the nature of things. I don't like to use concrete definitions like someone "is psychic" and another person "isn't psychic". I think it is alot more complex than that. It's like saying one person is artistic and another is not. It's sort of an opinion or level of talent. I like to say I understand things on a much deeper level than before and have become an amazing guesser. But the fact that this began just after I began feeling actual human empathy toward others tells me the two must be related, somewhere, and so I ask.

Again, my apologies if this isn't exactly what you mean by empathetic, in psychic terminology.

Interesting, I hope i don't cause offence asking this but would you have been considered socialpathic before your nde ? Did you experience a personality change or 'awakening' after the accident ? or would those close to you have witnessed that? ever heard of the soul term of being a "walk in"? it happens to people sometimes during nde's or something is in agreement for it to occur at another level.

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Reading that was great. I'm glad you took the time for a lengthy post, because it was totally worth reading. Thanks.The thing I try to remember is that 1. Non-judgmental love & acceptance are great healers themselves. 2. I can't fix anyone. Sometimes I can channel energy, or as Frank Fools Crow says, be the hollow bone through which (hopefully) healing energy moves, but the healing comes from something other than me. While I have few answers for anyone, it is my belief that all of us have our own inner knowing that will guide us if we listen to it. It is my great joy to help people get in touch with that inner knowing, to learn to trust it, so they move more freely & joyously into the world.

Thanks and likewise, I always thought something was wrong with me that i don't find normal shielding/grounding techniques effective like most do, this is for emotional energy. Actually what you say in the next post makes perfect sense and i have a visual technique that my new guide showed me that involves expanding the heart chakra or 'core-- same place as heart' out so it plumes out like an umbrella around the body 360 which forms by itself into a torus field. Like this -

And then letting the field spin around me clockwise and down my body into the ground and it can repeat as many times as it needs to or be used as a form of creating space which is basically a shield in my eyes. I know not everyone is visual and may do better with their own techniques, i happen to be visual so it works for me in sorting my spatial awareness out...And I do not know if this will work for anyone else but i have found it helps a bit incase anyone is in the same boat out there!

[Beany]

Love that illustration, sometimes my mind has difficulty visualizing & vivifying a concept, so that was perfect. I'm thinking if the heart chakra expands to include the other person, their vibratory rate would be raised, so there would be no need to shield because they would literally be in a better space. And expanding the heart chakra is not a defensive action or one that excludes, which is important to me. I wonder how much shielding is necessary, as opposed to figuring out techniques & strategies & perspectives that help us understand the energy and deal with it effectively.

I have never been harmed, or experienced harm or pain, other than some uncomfortability, which I'm wiling to tolerate, while doing this work. Early on, I tried shielding, but that was because I didn't have a good grasp of what was going on with anyone or anything, really, or any control. Now that I do, I very seldom shield, can't remember the last time I did. Open up my heart chakra, yes, but defensively shield in a way that cuts me off from someone, no, because I no longer feel or believe that I can be harmed, except my myself & my own misperceptions.

[AwakenAscension]

Interesting, I hope i don't cause offence asking this but would you have been considered socialpathic before your nde ? Did you experience a personality change or 'awakening' after the accident ? or would those close to you have witnessed that? ever heard of the soul term of being a "walk in"? it happens to people sometimes during nde's or something is in agreement for it to occur at another level.

I'm no psychologist. But growing up, I always assumed I felt 'love' because some people were important to me. But later began to learn it just was something I literally was unable to feel. Sometimes I 'needed' someone, so to me, that was love. I was always different, and liked to go my own way- still do- but was a very smooth talker and always had lots of 'friends'. I like to look at things my own way, so to me- the change is that I used to affect people and the way they feel through talk and circumstance, but now I do through my heart. And I hate to say it, but used to like when others were in pain. You would never have known, because I was good at pretending.

But after what happened to me, it's not just that I COULD feel for others- I just DID. I don't think I really have the words for that, at the moment. I just feel deeply what others do, and what I feel, I can sort of move into them, as we converse, etc. I just feel it, as a process. Feeling what others are going through has eventually led to my whole outlook on life, now and filled me with something that was missing for too long.

And yes when I got back my health, since then, people know that I am very different than before. But I went through alot of things back then. The only immediate awakening I had was that I could feel for others very deeply. Over time I began to be able to tell when something was happening elsewhere, or just bump into someone and know what's going on with them. But it comes in feeling. Not words. I believe those abilities are directly associated with compassion and empathy, somehow. So they would be INDIRECTLY from the N.D.E. People come to me for advice alot, and it's just a given that I have an understanding that's just beyond the norm. I don't like to try to label it, though.

I've been awake for quite a while, so I hope that doesn't read like mumbling gibberish, by the time I wake up and read it back over. LOL

[Beany]

Are you clairesentient, maybe? Here's a very brief definition/explanation from the website Psychic Revelation. It can be a difficult gift to handle, because we're not seeing anything, hearing anything, just feeling or sensing it. And then try to put that into words; it can be very difficult to describe the feeling or what's being sensed purely through vocabulary, because our language doesn't include words for some of this stuff.

[Beany]

Totally forgot the definition: The psychic ability of clairsentience literally means clear sensing. Today the definition of clairsentience means the broad gift of being able to sense psychic information. Originally clairsentience was taken to mean the ability to sense smells projected by the spirit world, particularly familiar smells associated with passed loved ones.

In some ways a clairsentient is like a psychic sponge because they literally soak up everything around them in the environment. It is possible for them to sense people's health challenges also and this can be a very heavy burden. There is a great deal of the empath in most claisentients and they often need to take more steps in order to protect and ground themselves than other psychics.

Edited September 4, 2013 by Beany

[MorbidVampireica]

I "read " people not on purpose too and I don't know how to stop doing it either....its kinda freaky and annoying to me and I really hate felling others emonitions sometimes they are so extreme.