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Am I wrong?


Luxord

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Ok, so there is this spiritual guy who is a consultant for people. he travels a lot and seems to have no faults. However, I believe I have found faults and I called him out on it after he claimed I was a baby, a punk( he might think of this word differently than I or you do), and a person who victimizes himself. So, what isn't wrong with this picture isn't what he said. In fact, that is all true to a certain extent. However, what gets me is HOW he tells you and how he is as a person. I have talked on the phone with him and he sounds selfish, full of himself, and acts like he knows life when he doesn't.

You would have to just take my word for it to formulate an opinion about this. The major things he does that angers me is that he calls people punks, b****es, babies, etc. but claims that he isn't bad in anyway. In fact, he seems to cover it up with spirituality. Is that really right? His spiritual justification SEEMS good at first, until you realize all the other things he says. He has posted on his homepage on facebook somewhat nasty and mean things about people that everyone can read. He calls them b**** adult males who he believes he shouldn't deal with. He only wants to deal with people he sees as spiritual and positive and fits his expectations or standards so to speak. Is that really right?

These are his CLIENTS he is talking about. What if your psychologist said this about you online so that everyone can see. The only nice thing is that he doesn't say your name. that still doesn't make it right. And I may be talking about him, but I am making sure I don't just out right bash on him. I am expressing my feelings and thoughts sincerely. If those feelings and judgments are negative then well....I will make sure I say it in a way that is honest and non hurtful. To be tactful and going in with an attitude of clarity and pure expression rather than abusive anger.

What he does and what I do sound similar but it is different. Especially when you realize the intention in what I say and what he says. What if a person on this forum revealed to me their insecurities and dark side. Then, I go and post things making fun of him and revealing that dark side in a negative light in a harsh, rude, mean and pompous way. Also, it would it would have some quality of being condescending in it too. Now IS THAT right?

That doesn't feel right to me. I believe this person hasn't matured enough to have developed empathy enough to where he doesn't hurt other people. His boundaries are dangerously close to being a d*** ****. He just does what he pleases and covers up, and justifies it with saying things such as "I am here to only please myself because I need to nurture myself so that I can help others" or "I ain't gonna deal with negative people who just victimize themselves. I don't have time for that." He doesn't bother to read what I write to him trying to validate and explain to him that there is more to me then just my negative qualities.

I want to show him I am right about me. I don't like it when people are like him, who label you without understanding you completely. I will take the blame for that, since I open up to him and pour out all of my negativity, such as my fears and worries. It probably does make me sound like a baby. But that isn't ALL of who I am. He doesn't know the beautiful and special side of me. He doesn't know the strength of will that I have had to almost abuse in usage because of my mental illnesses and environment and being bullied for so many years.

Does that really make me weak or does it make me strong? or both? Finally, I would have to say that he does have a good side. He is smart, practical, loving in his own way, and is a positive thinker. That isn't too bad. It's just that the complete package that is who he is right now sucks. So, what do you think? truthfully, I am focusing on the negative aspects so that you can validate what I feel and think. Behind that though, I am doing it because I feel it is the right thing for me to do, instead of just letting it fester inside of me.

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Edited by Saru
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Not to come across as being funny or sarcastic but paragraphs would make this much easier to read. :)

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Not to come across as being funny or sarcastic but paragraphs would make this much easier to read. :)

How do you make paragraphs? I have tried and it doesn't work. It only does what I just did to it.
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Well, I won't say you are right and cannot say you are wrong. Many "Holier than thou" people hide behind spirituality, faith or knowledge to hide the fact that they are actually utter butts. If this person burns you up, remove them from your life, learn a lesson and smile. Stay kind.

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How do you make paragraphs? I have tried and it doesn't work. It only does what I just did to it.

On the top left-hand side of your editor is a toggle editing mode switch.. try that.

.

....on your post, yeah, I tend to find that when people are posing negative opinions of others they are more or less displaying a mirror of their own internal conflicts.. ultimately though, they're projecting negative qualities... Is best to say your bit and turn away from that kind of dark vibe.. no good can come of it.

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I think you're right for taking the time to say what you just did. You needed to get that out and that's fine. This guy you're talking about does sound immature, but it's more than that. He's derisive toward people who have put their trust in him - no good. Disrespectful, dishonourable. As you say, though, he may still be a spiritual person - but we weren't talking about that. Personally, I put space between myself and rude people. I hate hearing their ugliness all the time.

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Ok, so there is this spiritual guy who is a consultant for people.........

Why do you mentally subjugate yourself to other people? You will find no security in other people, groups, and organizations. If you want happiness, then you will only find it deep within yourself. You will find no happiness in people or things outside of yourself, for they eventually lead to disappointment. I noticed you reach out, when you should be reaching within. Anytime you subjugate yourself to other people, they have a psychological power over you. By you reaching out to this individual, wanting something from him, he now has power over you and so you suffer with emotional distress. All because you mentally sacrifice yourself to others.

Do not do this.The next time you find yourself reaching out to someone who you hope will give you some kind of happiness, stop and observe what you're doing. Live in the moment and step outside yourself, but don't ask yourself why you are reaching out, because you may convince yourself why you need to proceed. Only observe what you are doing to yourself, which is sacrificing yourself to others.

You as a man or women owe nothing to any other human being except to be yourself, which is to free your own mind from the insecurities you think you want from society. Just think, if you had not ever reached out to this individual, giving him power over you, therefore dominating you as he does now, you would not be posting about this now. And you would not be feeling the negative emotions you're going through with this individual now.

So cut the psychological bond now, that ties you with this individual, you will be much better in the long run. Say not another word to him and let it go, no matter what he says to you or about you. Don't look back! You're only going to make it worse for yourself, emotionally. Let it go, even as your negative emotions scream at you to do something about it, don't listen to them, just quietly observe those emotions stirring inside you. Don't try to control them, only observe and watch them fade away, every time they try to surface in your mind on this matter.

I hope this helps you in some way and always keep in mind that you live your life to day, because of how you think.

Edited by Purifier
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Sounds like.a class A narcissist. Stay away from.him, don't call him out anymore. He will poison people's minds and turn them against you. Stay away! If you must be near him (as seems to be the case somewhat?) don't engage. Don't challenge him. Just act neutrally, like you see nothing, hear nothing. Soon he'll leave you alone.

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If this was my situation, i'd distance myself from someone like this.

Some people think that they're better than others but at the end of the day we're all just a bunch of semi-civilized, flawed beings.

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Umm..anyways...

Everyone has faults including this guy you seem to obsess over.

There is nothing nice or "spiritual" about calling people names and anyone can say the most putrid things then claim that they aren't meaning it in a bad way which is a cute way for them to blame you for being a bit put off by his behavior.

There are people who claim that they can say whatever they want to people, no matter how hurtful or insulting and if you feel hurt by it then it is YOUR fault even though they are the ones who say it. These people will try to use their "advanced spirituality" to defend and rationalize their behavior; it's a pathetic way to abdicate responsibility.

At any rate, Purifier is right. You had your say so just drop it, cut your ties to this person and go about your life. It is easy to claim one is "spiritual" but it should never be used as an excuse to be hurtful, crass and rude. Spiritual or not we all are human and we all live in this world and there are just some basic, common sense rules about basic civil conduct that cannot be ignored, especially in a professional arena.

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PM me his FB handle and I promise I won't go troll his page. :innocent:

Joking aside, the guy sounds about as spiritually evolved as your average snake oil salesman. Just ignore him unless he forces your hand.

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Tomatoedrama,

Purifier, Ryu and others are spot on in what they say. This person is on a huge narcissistic ego trip and is feeding on good folks looking for help. He's a user, plain and simple and users feed off of others in order for their ego to survive. This person is using people like steps on a ladder. He puts people down so he can climb up, don't feed the monster. If this person was out to genuinely help others he would not be name calling like he does and in fact the name calling is a huge neon sign saying that he himself is not only a narcissist, but an insecure child on the inside that never grew up. Seeing as how this person is a man, I would venture to guess that not only is he narcissistic, egocentric and insecure, he's also likely a mysoginist ( dislikes women) seeing as how he refers to others as "b****es". This man has no respect for anyone outside of himself.

Do not allow yourself to be pulled into a narcissistic, egocentric peeing contest with this person or you will be helping him to bring yourself down. Simply cut off communication and move on. If you feel you need help, there are plenty of good hearted folks out there and on this site that would be happy to help. You have options. :)

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PM me his FB handle and I promise I won't go troll his page. :innocent:

Joking aside, the guy sounds about as spiritually evolved as your average snake oil salesman. Just ignore him unless he forces your hand.

If youre interested in a non-trolling FB tag team just let me know, sounds like fun. :P

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I think everyone has covered what I was going to post.

Stay away from that sort of negitivity; no one needs that in their life.

Also, name-calling is never okay. If someone needs to point out something not so nice about someone there is a much gentler and kinder way of doing that than what this guy is doing.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Just live and learn and move on. You have too many people here that care about you and don't want to see you get pulled down and stomped on by some ***hat like that :yes:

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Why do you mentally subjugate yourself to other people? You will find no security in other people, groups, and organizations. If you want happiness, then you will only find it deep within yourself. You will find no happiness in people or things outside of yourself, for they eventually lead to disappointment. I noticed you reach out, when you should be reaching within. Anytime you subjugate yourself to other people, they have a psychological power over you. By you reaching out to this individual, wanting something from him, he now has power over you and so you suffer with emotional distress. All because you mentally sacrifice yourself to others.

Do not do this.The next time you find yourself reaching out to someone who you hope will give you some kind of happiness, stop and observe what you're doing. Live in the moment and step outside yourself, but don't ask yourself why you are reaching out, because you may convince yourself why you need to proceed. Only observe what you are doing to yourself, which is sacrificing yourself to others.

You as a man or women owe nothing to any other human being except to be yourself, which is to free your own mind from the insecurities you think you want from society. Just think, if you had not ever reached out to this individual, giving him power over you, therefore dominating you as he does now, you would not be posting about this now. And you would not be feeling the negative emotions you're going through with this individual now.

So cut the psychological bond now, that ties you with this individual, you will be much better in the long run. Say not another word to him and let it go, no matter what he says to you or about you. Don't look back! You're only going to make it worse for yourself, emotionally. Let it go, even as your negative emotions scream at you to do something about it, don't listen to them, just quietly observe those emotions stirring inside you. Don't try to control them, only observe and watch them fade away, every time they try to surface in your mind on this matter.

I hope this helps you in some way and always keep in mind that you live your life to day, because of how you think.

Yes. I will pay more attention to myself when I want to do that. My worst tendency is to look for the deep aspects of myself in other peoples point of view. Not saying it isn't there, but that really doesn't work. The only times I ever get that insight into myself and more than just an awareness in the back of my mind is when I listen to music and feel my core self. So, basically, I think I will cut myself off from him. I have learned and explored him fully enough to where I am done with it. Like playing the same videogame over and over. This website is my new game that I am exploring, except it isn't the same as the last game.
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RUN! Do not give this kind of person a moments worth of your time, energy or thoughts. Get away from this person as fast as possible. He's a cult leader in the making. He sounds EXACTLY like the former Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll (who you may have read about in the news). One of the most evil humans alive if you ask me.

Just be done with this person. Run away, fast.

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Thanks guys. I blocked and unfriended him on facebook. It isn't healthy for me to talk to him anymore.

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I posted an article on clearing negative energies. I thought you might like to take a look at it. Seemed interesting :yes:

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I posted an article on clearing negative energies. I thought you might like to take a look at it. Seemed interesting :yes:

Cool, thanks. I will.
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I make paragraphs by hitting the "enter" button twice. To paraphrase the Buddha, "Beware! the guru enters the village."

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Thank you mods for making my post better by adding paragraphs.

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Yes. I will pay more attention to myself when I want to do that. My worst tendency is to look for the deep aspects of myself in other peoples point of view. Not saying it isn't there, but that really doesn't work. The only times I ever get that insight into myself and more than just an awareness in the back of my mind is when I listen to music and feel my core self. So, basically, I think I will cut myself off from him. I have learned and explored him fully enough to where I am done with it. Like playing the same videogame over and over. This website is my new game that I am exploring, except it isn't the same as the last game.

This is what is known as "self-sabotage", but you're not consciously doing it, because it comes from a subconscious level. We humans always want to feel security and love from others and things where there really is none. We think we need to be a part of this group or that group just to get a sense of belonging. Because we think that we may find all these illusions out there in society, which eventually leads us to disappointment, but love and security comes from within ourselves. The moment you realize this inner truth and keep reminding yourself of this, is when you are free from the daily negative emotional impacts of society. This is called "self-awareness". You want to live from yourself and not through others. You don't need someone else to lead you, you need to lead yourself. A great amount of independence and freedom comes from this self liberating action. Keep in mind this incident is a good experience for you to learn from and that is what you want, because it awakens you to the folly of your own self destructive thinking.

In relation to this is another problem I sensed in your story, we tend to apply to ourselves 'self-identification' or 'labels'. Because with the labels we think there is security and much to be gained from having identification of the self. But giving ourselves labels is what causes all the pain and misery in the world, because these labels will always be challenged by another. Therefore, we have to defend our title from the threat of another who may challenge us. Carrying around psychological labels is like carrying around a heavy sign all day that sayz, "This person is important and has been respected for everyday of their life! Respect should always be given to this person at all times!" But the burden of carrying around this heavy sign is terrible and nothing we can do can make carrying around our sign more comfortable than it already is. But if we drop the heavy sign and leave it where it may fall, then the weight from this awful sign has been lifted off of our shoulders and a sense of great relief comes with it. So is the same with our self titled labels, we drop it, then so does all the negative misery that came with that self described label.

If you understand this about your own self, as we all should do with each of ourselves, then you'll surely understand the wrongful thinking of the mind of the individual you came in contact with and another reason as to why there was conflict between you two in the first place. But let go and drop your own sign in the process and let him continue in emotional misery carrying the weight of his own sign, from which he has to be on guard and defend at all times. Now you know why he is hostile to other people. His self man-made title (A.K.A Label) is constantly being challenged and it has to be defended by him from those who question it.

Hope this helps you again and remember, you live your life today, because of how you think.

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If you understand this about your own self, as we all should do with each of ourselves, then you'll surely understand the wrongful thinking of the mind of the individual you came in contact with and another reason as to why there was conflict between you two in the first place. But let go and drop your own sign in the process and let him continue in emotional misery carrying the weight of his own sign, from which he has to be on guard and defend at all times. Now you know why he is hostile to other people. His self man-made title (A.K.A Label) is constantly being challenged and it has to be defended by him from those who question it.

Hope this helps you again and remember, you live your life today, because of how you think.

I have been trying to create sign and label that I can wear as clothes. It is my attempt to find a label and archetype of a personality that is in alignment with who I am. So, out of that, I can be fully me. I will able to find myself again. I will have validation and the right and justification to be myself, sign or not. Even if I were to find that label and perfect fitting clothes, their just clothes and it doesn't change who I really am on the inside. Even for me, I carry a sign around. I don't know how not to be a sign. If I be myself, isn't that a sign in of itself? Don't I have to think, feel, and act a certain way to be myself? Is that being myself?
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I have been trying to create sign and label that I can wear as clothes. It is my attempt to find a label and archetype of a personality that is in alignment with who I am. So, out of that, I can be fully me. I will able to find myself again. I will have validation and the right and justification to be myself, sign or not. Even if I were to find that label and perfect fitting clothes, their just clothes and it doesn't change who I really am on the inside. Even for me, I carry a sign around. I don't know how not to be a sign. If I be myself, isn't that a sign in of itself? Don't I have to think, feel, and act a certain way to be myself? Is that being myself?

But are you truly your own self? Now? Sure you can wear whatever you want, but trying to identify with something on the outside is foreign to our own inner nature; our true selves. Wear them because you like them and obviously because you need to cover your nudity, not because you are trying to be somebody that you think you may be. And how do you really know that the clothes you wear, that you think defines you, is the real you? This is how....when nothing negative anybody sayz hurts your feelings deep down and you have to constantly defend your clothes along with your false persona. If that is happening on a continuous bases, then something is wrong and we are being exposed. Clothes don't make the man and we all know it.

If you let society with it's ideologies, institutions and fads dictate to you what you should be, what group you should belong with and what you should wear to identify with these things, then you have no individual freedom from society and you are slave to the eventual pain suffering that comes along with it. You are not really yourself, you are what they want you to be, or what you think you should be and you have no individuality. Just a false sense of self.

What is wrong with being your true self and discarding the attempt at labeling one's self? You were already born with an original personality, no need to hide it or exaggerate it with false identities. People will see through that every time and demoralize you if they wish so. They know it's not you and you're trying to wear a psychological mask.

Everybody wants to be important, but being important has it's negative side effects, which eventually turns you into a emotional mess.

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wow. That was awesome what you said. Thanks. It makes sense and is true to me. Almost all of it I feel intuitively good about.

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