59 replies to this topic

[notoverrated]

ya you can cheat online, its just easier.

[regi]

Lilly, on 16 October 2012 - 10:31 AM, said:

All in all, cyber-space isn't all that safe a place to wear ones heart on ones sleeve.

Well said, and that's the bottom line.

If anyone on-line hasn't seen the doc. Catfish, I think they should.
It's amazing how easily and quickly one can be taken in, and it's amazing how a total scam can be carried out to such lengths where it would seem impossible.

After I saw the doc., I came across an equally fascinating and enlightening article from The LA Times about how this woman was completely snookered...by another woman. The first woman had become acquainted with the second woman on some sort of mutual interest message board, and she was eventually  "introduced" to a man who was known to the second woman.
This whole thing went on over a very extended period of time.
It's mind-blowing and yes, eye-opening!
I'll try to locate the article.

Edited by regi, 16 October 2012 - 11:32 AM.

[TheLogic]

I believe love can be with anyone as long as you have spoken to them long enough to gain an understanding of that person.

[The world needs you]

There is not going to be a universal answer on whether love over the internet can exist or not. The answer will be dependant on each individual. For instance it is likely Millenials would be more inclined to search for romance and even friendship online since they grew up in a digital world. Baby boomers on the other hand will be less inclined. Those from larger cities might be less likely than those from small towns to search online for affection because your choices are really limited in a small town.

Now if one could walk to the beach or go in a wheel chair most would opt to walk unless there was a really cool hill to go down to get there. The point being a relationship that exists online is going to be a handicap version of a real world relationship but some just do not have a choice and have to look for love where they can get it even if that means online. For those who have no choice but to turn to the net I do believe love can be as real, as real and romantic as hand written letters, but if real love always will the two crave to be with each other in real life.

There are going to be plenty of horrid examples of online behaviors when it comes to love, i.e., scammers, users, abusers, liars, but you pretty much find this irl too so I would not use any of those as a reason to stay away from love online if you would not use any of those reason to stay away from love in the real world. Really the world can be ugly but that is no reason not to live in it and enjoy all that is beautiful and love in any format is beautiful.

[lizzieboo]

Lilly, on 14 October 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:

Observation: It is much, much easier to lie to another person online. That reality alone should make one take pause. Even the FBI has a caution statment regarding online romances.

http://www.fbi.gov/n...ng-scams_021412

Perhaps it is easier for some. It isn't easy for me to lie (as in misrepresenting myself) in any venue, whether it be "real life" or online. I wear my heart on my sleeve, regardless.

I also believe that anyone who is seeking love would be a fool to deliberately misrepresent themselves. If you pretend to be what you are not, in any way, it isn't "you" who is being loved...it is the fictional character you have created. I don't want to be loved on false pretenses. I want to be loved as I am, for who I am...flaws and all. And that applies to both "real world" and virtual love.

[Rlyeh]

Paracelse, on 14 October 2012 - 04:48 PM, said:

The real question is:  Why do people go online to find a fling or "love"?  I mean isn't the world big enough to go out and meet people in real life?  What is stopping one person to do so?  The first answer that comes to mind is:  FEAR!  Fear to get caught if you already involved with someone else, less guilt doing so, fear of the self, poor perception of the self.  I'm introvert and I hate going out. But at least I'm smart enough to know that what stops me outside is just as real online.  So stop kidding yourself.  Maybe you've met someone online and things are going great. BUT ARE YOU AWARE OF WHAT YOU MISS OUTSIDE?

Some people don't get out much.

[JGirl]

Dr. D, on 13 October 2012 - 06:43 PM, said:

We have all known couples who met via internet and some claim to have relationships of love.  Is this possible?  On one hand if we say that you cannot love someone without seeing them, we are also saying that blind people are incapalbe of loving.  If we say they need to touch, many romances are interrupted by military service, etc. where they cannot touch.

If we choose to believe such cyber love is possible, then we can see things such as communicating with another person as cyber infidelity.  We can also claim that such a relationship would lack sincerity but real marriages have only a 50% chance of working.

Your opinions?

yes i believe you can love someone you've never seen. in some cases relationships are far deeper and more meaningful online because the day to day crap doesn't play a part in it.
there are some women who marry lifers in prison. same thing i would expect- they love the romance. they love to feel love. doesn't make it less valid, just different.

[Lilly]

lizzieboo, on 16 October 2012 - 04:00 PM, said:

I also believe that anyone who is seeking love would be a fool to deliberately misrepresent themselves. If you pretend to be what you are not, in any way, it isn't "you" who is being loved...it is the fictional character you have created. I don't want to be loved on false pretenses. I want to be loved as I am, for who I am...flaws and all. And that applies to both "real world" and virtual love.

Sadly, there are many who don't seem to mind being loved on 'false pretenses'. A great many people deliberately misrepresent themselves...and they're very good at it. However, (eventually) someone always comes along that can see through even the most clever of pretenders. Trust me, I know.

[Viviana98]

I know probably a handful of people that have met online and are now married and seem to be pretty happy here years later. I have never been on a dating site or fell in love with anyone online but I think its possible. Physical is definitely a big part of relationship so I don't think a cyber relationship can last very long with out that aspect even if there's love.

[orangepeaceful79]

Viviana98, on 17 October 2012 - 05:08 AM, said:

I know probably a handful of people that have met online and are now married and seem to be pretty happy here years later. I have never been on a dating site or fell in love with anyone online but I think its possible. Physical is definitely a big part of relationship so I don't think a cyber relationship can last very long with out that aspect even if there's love.

I definitely think its possible too.  I have a huge crush on someone from this very site actually.  Its building slowly though, as the pace of our getting to know each other has been slow too.  I know people who have met love online too.  I just think anyone in that sort of position needs to be extra vigilant.

[The world needs you]

JGirl, on 16 October 2012 - 04:23 PM, said:

yes i believe you can love someone you've never seen. in some cases relationships are far deeper and more meaningful online because the day to day crap doesn't play a part in it.
there are some women who marry lifers in prison. same thing i would expect- they love the romance. they love to feel love. doesn't make it less valid, just different.

It is exactly the day to day grind and hassle shared with another that tests a relationship and proves stability and depth of love. Anything else remains unproven akin to a car that has never been test driven on the open road. How will you know how good it works? A relationship untested through shared daily experience might fall apart under stress but how would you know?

orangepeaceful79, on 17 October 2012 - 05:35 AM, said:

I definitely think its possible too.  I have a huge crush on someone from this very site actually.  Its building slowly though, as the pace of our getting to know each other has been slow too.  I know people who have met love online too.  I just think anyone in that sort of position needs to be extra vigilant.

Attractions and crushes are ten a penny. This is why one struggling through the daily grind, and is in a committed relationship sharing the daily grind with another, might easily be attracted to another, even to the degree of affair, which can be exciting because of the novelty, but said attraction does not prove love or long term compatibility. It is exactly the shared day to day effort that prove these instead.

Also edited to add a correction to my previous post: it is more likely for Millenials to seek, be more comfortable, or familiar with short term hooking up instead of the exclusivity of a boyfriend-girlfriend-going-around type of committed relationship.

Edited by Chasingtherabbit, 17 October 2012 - 07:25 AM.

[Jackofalltrades]

Whether it is in real life or online, the best way to find love is by being Yourself, warts and all...

If they do not accept You for who You are then (in my opinion) they are not worth the time of day...

I have met a few women online and alway's told them the truth, but I have not alway's had the same in return...

There was one time I met a woman online a few year's ago that she tried making out she liked/loved me but in reality all she wanted was a visa to stay in this country...

There was even one woman that I met online and talked to on the phone that got really possesive if I talked to another woman, even if I just said hello to them, I wouldnt mind but I have never done the dirty/had an affair on any woman I have had a relationship with...

With anything in life You have to be cautious with who You meet either in real life or online...

If meeting people online and decide to meet up in person I would highly recommend that it is in a public place and not at someone's home address...

[TheLogic]

Who knew you was full of wisdom dad LOL

[Jackofalltrades]

TheLogic, on 17 October 2012 - 10:26 PM, said:

Who knew you was full of wisdom dad LOL

Where do You think You got Your wisdom from ?

It wasn't from Your mom   LOL

[TheLogic]

My wisdom was self taught.