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Devil Inside

Posted by Mikko-kun , 05 November 2012 · 623 views

There's the saying about your head being squeezed too tight by these pincers, it's about being uptight. Forcing yourself to do things, and being too blind or stupid or numb to realise it. Not being yourself. There's a difference between pushing yourself to the limits and in acting the way that's not you. Not having the balls to act the way you are. I get that mode sometimes.
For me it's been something like sunglasses which cloud out things. The light that you see when you take them off is painful, and at times, especially when you've been pushing yourself too much, you have harder time to keep those glasses on. If you keep them on too much it becomes such an effort, so much effort to be yourself that the pain overwhelms you and you make humane mistakes in life not otherwise too common for you.

I find it healthy to at times kick back, properly. To be a true no-lifer for a few days. It can give you more touch to yourself, but there's the obvious downsides to it. We dont have an endless time to spend in this one life, but if you dont have the balls to live the way you see fit and try to fit your life to someone else's mold instead of even trying to find your mold or whatever it is you feel that life should be for you, you still think that's the life you wanna live? It's a purging. Making the omelet with breaking the eggs thing.

My life ain't interesting and I bet none of you who read this would change the context of your life with mine. But I like it as is. :) That's the way it's supposed to be.

This was a short scorpioish moan.. whatever. I red once that aquariuses are supposed to be more fit for astrology in general, because of their ability to categorize people, to see different strengths in people. Libras have a similiar thing going, except that they're more diplomatic where the aquarian may be more forthcoming. It's a gift of it's own too.

Reading about astrology isn't a good way to go about it, if you do just that. I red very much about it when I started the study, but now it's more about meditating and reflecting them. Reading isn't bad, but don't let the reading override your own figurings and senses and reflections.




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Forcing yourself to do things, and being too blind or stupid or numb to realise it. Not being yourself. There's a difference between pushing yourself to the limits and in acting the way that's not you. Not having the balls to act the way you are.
I was having some similar thoughts like this today, regarding someone else I know. I also started wondering why it bothered me so much to see this person not really being himself so often, esp since we aren't good friends anymore. Meh.  I think we probably all fall victim to that once in awhile.  Nice to see you back around here, btw!
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I red once
Intentional?
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I read ya! Don't know what to say to be honest....but I hear you
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Nope three. You know what really helped me with this condition... took a day off in vacation, no preoccupations, no nothing, just lie down as long as you feel like it, feed the rast, be a slob, let yourself think whatever comes to mind. I used to do that a lot when I was younger, and I used to have a more clear head too...

edit: sorry, late replies :) library comp
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