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Events that shape your life


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#1    Paranoid Android

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 04:06 AM

Hi everyone.  Before I begin I wanted to thank the UM team for creating this section that we can share our belief's without being subject to constant questioning.

That being said, I wanted to share something with you all.  I have found that everyone has one or two events in their life that forever after have shaped, changed, or otherwise reinforced the belief's that you hold today - what you might say breaks your life into "before this moment" and "after this moment".  I'm starting this thread in the hope that we can share those experiences to encourage each other by these watershed moments.

Here is probably THE BIG moment in my life that has shaped me into what I am today.

It was December 14th 1998, a date forever burnt into my memory.  I'd just finished year 12 and was on an end of year camp.  It was a Christian camp run by a retired preacher, which I attended basically every year.  Although, at this time I wasn't a Christian - I didn't really believe in anything.

Anyway, the second day into the camp, we were swimming at the beach (in Australia, December is perfect summer swimming weather), when the sand-bar collapsed underfoot right near where our group was swimming, causing a rip to form and dragging the group out to sea.  Some of the people who couldn't swim were wading knee deep in water when suddenly they were over their heads being dragged out to sea.  To cut a long story short, in the end three of the people drowned - a camp counselor, as well as two campers (one of them was my girlfriend).

To say that I was messed up after this is an understatement.  I started doing all sorts of stuff to my body - drugs, alcohol, other stuff I won't repeat here.  But it was also during this time that I found out what it truly meant to be "christian".

My parents went to a "christian" church, but after this event, no one at this church phoned us us, or came to visit to see how we were going, or asked us if we needed anything.  NOT A SINGLE PHONE CALL.  THey were acting like this event never happened.

On the other hand, two Christians (I barely knew them at the time - now they are two of my best friends), were willing to take time out of their lives to talk to a total stranger, to ask a total stranger if I needed anything, to ask a total stranger if they could help in any way, to just sit and talk with a total stranger.

They were the first people to show me what it was really like to be a Christian.  I started to read the Bible again (I'd read it before, but because of some of my parent's strange beliefs, I didn't really understand it).

The rest, you can say, is history.  This event at the camp was tragic, and life-shattering - but without that event I would not be the person I am today.  In everything that happens in life, no matter how bad, or how dark it seems, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and always the possibility of coming out the other end a transformed, better person.

I know it's a longish post, and thankyou all who have read it.  I hope this post continues to be one where we can post important events in our life so that we may all encourage one another with these stories.

Until next time,


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#2    hyperactive

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 04:36 AM

event 1: mother dying suddenly.  it taught me to not take anything for granted and that nothing is certian.

event 2: father dying.  life changing because from that point i was pretty much on my own (well, i have a sister but i was on my own wrt the only people i ever answered to were gone)

event 3: the dawning of minimalism.  not quite what to call it, but i reached a point where i recognized that everything about the world of man was a falacy (incomplete, in error, rediculous....).  Man lives as an animal: driven by aminal needs and wants, very few ever grow beyond sheer pettiness, greed, and corruption.  That was the day I lost all interest in humanity and to some extent wished i could watch the arrogant animal fall.

event 4: the rebirth.  after spending a year in quasi-secluson pondering existance and the nature of man (beyond what I already was full of from earning my degrees) I found a delicate balance between enlightenment and living with the animal (man).  I still prefer the company bears, cougars, caracals, lynxes, and other predators to that of man though.


"He who knows not and knows not he knows not, he is a fool - shun him.
He who knows not and knows he knows not, he is simple - teach him.
He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him.
He who knows and knows that he knows, he is wise - follow him. "
Arabia


#3    Mad Manfred

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 06:24 AM

One moment.

Edited by Mad Manfred, 30 April 2005 - 08:26 AM.


#4    101

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Posted 09 May 2005 - 04:06 PM

Beautiful storys.

1)Well one of my most life changing moments in life happened about 8 years ago in April. My brother died in an accident. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just strayed away from all my beliefs. I started doing drugs and drinking a lot. I then eventually got pregnant

2) my daughter  who I had as a product of unwise decisions.
She changed my life I quit partying and got right. I still didn't go back to God yet.

3) my seperation from my husband-my daughters father. I then realized something was missing in my life. I truly needed my relationship back with the Lord. I then soon became a reborn Christian.

I am now currently back in church after 8 years of not going. I am a reborn Christian of 6 months and growing strong in my faith.

101

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#5    Hans Dolbrook

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Posted 10 May 2005 - 08:19 PM

the deaths of my sister,my daddy,and my uncle dramatically changed my life.for 5
years i was basically in a drug induced fog,how i was able to keep my wife,who knows?the birth of my first child knocked me down to earth,but i still had problems.
in 1992 i underwent knee surgery and while under saw my daddy,and we talked until he said you need to wake up,and smacked my rear end.(i swear)i really have'nt had any drug or mental problems since then,but i have had some serious money issues.it's nothing that i can't deal with though!
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#6    Shivel

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Posted 10 May 2005 - 09:46 PM

A life changing moment for me was when I became friends with this girl I know.

   I didn't have too many problems to deal with as a child, not many compared to some people, but the problems I did have truly bothered me. My dad would yell, as a result, I was afraid of him most of the time; my brother (older than I am) would be treated better because he had certain problems with his brain at birth; I was picked on alot when I was young, to the point where I felt everyone was an enemy and I had to make a point to show that I was tough; and problems at school, I just one day gave up on trying.

   These problems resulted in me being kind of a bully and a failure. I would beat up on my brother, get into fights at school, fail tests, my confidence was pretty low, and I would cry alot (pretty manly eh?). I would have problems with girls as well; girls were attracted to me sure, its the type of girl that was the problem. Every girl I have dated would basically boss me around and treat me badly, and for the most part I became used to it and figured that is how things were supposed to be. Everything was terrible for me, I had to deal with everyones problems because I was the one people would come to for help, not once did my friends ask me how I was feeling with out me bringing it up.

Now for the life changing part.

   The first time I met this girl was at a party when I was 9 or so. The party was for my dad's best friend's son, alot of his family was there and I didnt know anyone at all. Then I saw a girl playing with a ball who reminded me of someone I knew, I went over and said hello and we started playing together. I would see this girl once a year at this party and each year we would talk and hang out together. Then one year we gave eachother our screen names and we would talk all the time on the computer.

   What I loved about this girl was that she listened to me and she cared about what I had to say. She made me feel like I was special and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. We would see eachother more often and eventually we dated (didn't last long, I guess she liked being friends more). She would tell me about these amazing things she's done and I felt that she was the greatest thing in the world. My confidence returned and I became interested in new things (courtesy of her of course), and I felt better about myself and everything around me. She made me happy, and thanks to her I am a new, better person, but she's pretty much gone now. My friend would flirt with her, and she would flirt back, I became jealous and I would argue with her about it.

   I laid all of my problems on her, forgetting that she is only one person who shouldn't have to deal with so many things, and now we are slowly beginning to stop talking all together. It's sad to think that someone that made me so happy is slowly leaving because of me, but she changed my life all the same. I love her very much, and I thank her for being in my life.


#7    morticia1197

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Posted 10 May 2005 - 10:14 PM

This is a condensed version.  It would take a few chapters to get into all the reasons and things that have shaped my religious views and beliefs.  As far as religion goes, my change came when I was about 10.  I was raised in the southern baptist faith.  I had gone to this church all of my life.  When I was 10, my sunday school teacher was also the preacher.  I was the only girl in the class.  He would make off color comments to the boys in front of me.  He finally got to a point that he would make suggestive comments about me being the only girl in the class.  I thought to myself, if this is supposed to be a christian man of god, then I want no part of the beliefs that christianity has set.   I have not been back to a church outside of when I conduct funerals since then.  I have people constantly trying to recruit me.  It gets annoying, because I know what it all about and I can't handle the hypocrisy.  The other religious change in my life was when I was about 18.  I met a woman I worked with and we became friends.  She never came out and told me, but she practiced paganism.  I found out through watching her and talking with her children, which were around the same age as me.  I asked her about it, and she gave me numerous books to read and said when I was done come back to her and then we would talk.  She help me sort out the feelings of digust and let down I felt about God and the whole spiritual thing.  She gave me a basis to build my own beliefs that I was comfortable with.  Forever will I be grateful for the help she gave. It was at that point that I realized that spirituality doesn't have a damn thing to do with religion.  My southern baptist community still tries every now and again to knock the pagan devil out of me, LOL, but I stand firm and try to educate them instead of striking back.  Not that it does much good. sad.gif   So, I don't have many friends where I live.  I guess that is why I chat and go to forums like this for like minded people  original.gif

Edited by morticia1197, 10 May 2005 - 10:16 PM.


#8    Paranoid Android

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Posted 12 May 2005 - 01:36 PM

QUOTE(morticia1197 @ May 11 2005, 08:14 AM)
This is a condensed version.  It would take a few chapters to get into all the reasons and things that have shaped my religious views and beliefs.  As far as religion goes, my change came when I was about 10.  I was raised in the southern baptist faith.  I had gone to this church all of my life.  When I was 10, my sunday school teacher was also the preacher.  I was the only girl in the class.  He would make off color comments to the boys in front of me.  He finally got to a point that he would make suggestive comments about me being the only girl in the class.  I thought to myself, if this is supposed to be a christian man of god, then I want no part of the beliefs that christianity has set.   I have not been back to a church outside of when I conduct funerals since then.  I have people constantly trying to recruit me.  It gets annoying, because I know what it all about and I can't handle the hypocrisy.  The other religious change in my life was when I was about 18.  I met a woman I worked with and we became friends.  She never came out and told me, but she practiced paganism.  I found out through watching her and talking with her children, which were around the same age as me.  I asked her about it, and she gave me numerous books to read and said when I was done come back to her and then we would talk.  She help me sort out the feelings of digust and let down I felt about God and the whole spiritual thing.  She gave me a basis to build my own beliefs that I was comfortable with.  Forever will I be grateful for the help she gave. It was at that point that I realized that spirituality doesn't have a damn thing to do with religion.  My southern baptist community still tries every now and again to knock the pagan devil out of me, LOL, but I stand firm and try to educate them instead of striking back.  Not that it does much good. sad.gif   So, I don't have many friends where I live.  I guess that is why I chat and go to forums like this for like minded people  original.gif

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Most people go through their entire lives without realising that spirituality and religion are completely seperate entities.  And even less that realise it actually do something about it.  This is rare indeed.


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My blog is now taking a new direction.  Dedicated to my father who was a great inspiration in my life, I wish to honour his memory (RIP, dad) by sharing with the world what he had always kept to himself.  More details, http://www.unexplain...showentry=27811

#9    Paranoid Android

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Posted 12 May 2005 - 01:37 PM

QUOTE(101 @ May 10 2005, 02:06 AM)
Beautiful storys.

1)Well one of my most life changing moments in life happened about 8 years ago in April. My brother died in an accident. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just strayed away from all my beliefs. I started doing drugs and drinking a lot. I then eventually got pregnant

2) my daughter  who I had as a product of unwise decisions.
She changed my life I quit partying and got right. I still didn't go back to God yet.

3) my seperation from my husband-my daughters father. I then realized something was missing in my life. I truly needed my relationship back with the Lord. I then soon became a reborn Christian.

I am now currently back in church after 8 years of not going. I am a reborn Christian of 6 months and growing strong in my faith.

101

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God really does work in mysterious ways.  Congratulations.



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My blog is now taking a new direction.  Dedicated to my father who was a great inspiration in my life, I wish to honour his memory (RIP, dad) by sharing with the world what he had always kept to himself.  More details, http://www.unexplain...showentry=27811

#10    Paranoid Android

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Posted 12 May 2005 - 01:39 PM

QUOTE(JayMan895 @ May 11 2005, 07:46 AM)
   What I loved about this girl was that she listened to me and she cared about what I had to say. She made me feel like I was special and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. We would see eachother more often and eventually we dated (didn't last long, I guess she liked being friends more). She would tell me about these amazing things she's done and I felt that she was the greatest thing in the world. My confidence returned and I became interested in new things (courtesy of her of course), and I felt better about myself and everything around me. She made me happy, and thanks to her I am a new, better person, but she's pretty much gone now. My friend would flirt with her, and she would flirt back, I became jealous and I would argue with her about it.

   I laid all of my problems on her, forgetting that she is only one person who shouldn't have to deal with so many things, and now we are slowly beginning to stop talking all together. It's sad to think that someone that made me so happy is slowly leaving because of me, but she changed my life all the same. I love her very much, and I thank her for being in my life.

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I truly hope you can reconcile with this girl.  True friends like this are rare.  All the best Jayman.



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My blog is now taking a new direction.  Dedicated to my father who was a great inspiration in my life, I wish to honour his memory (RIP, dad) by sharing with the world what he had always kept to himself.  More details, http://www.unexplain...showentry=27811

#11    Sherapy

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Posted 09 July 2005 - 05:24 PM

Wow Beautiful Stories  I guess my life shaping event into self realization began with a miracle I was sitting around on a Sat. evening with my now husband older son and a few close friends and we were  discussing angels and my son was telling me a story of a recent experience he had with an angel and the next thing I felt was a love pouring into me I got scared at first my son got up and hugged me and told me to go with it and I felt so much pain and crap just melt away in this loving energy then a voice started talking to me (voice isn't really the best description  but words started pouring into my head) and things I never knew and personal things about my life became very clear, A few of the things the voice showed me was that the only problem I ever had was not including myself with those I loved and how we are all the same no exceptions, God is only unconditional in  his love and the only way that I am judged is when I judge myself, that was 12 years ago and it feels like it happened 2 moments ago, I'm still digesting the experience I'll tell you this the person I was before this is someone I no longer recognize after this no prayers I have go unanswered, I have had a few dark moments in the midst of this I lost my sister to murder and I lost the  best friend I ever had to suicide like so many of you I count these moments as the moments that have defined me each death brought me a different gift I look for the perfection in things, none of that couldn't be possible without the friendship I have with God , I was once so lost grin2.gif   and a miracle changed my life. Thankyou for listening Namaste Sheri




#12    nativechick1989

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Posted 10 July 2005 - 04:37 AM

Events that shaped my life:

1) ~1995~ The death of my Mother.  It's been 10 years, since her death and I still miss her dearly.  One thing I can be thankful for, is that she raised me to be strong & independent.  So when she left me, I wasn't left wandering aimlessly.  At the time I was a strong practicing Catholic, so my faith helped me tremendously in coping with her death.  She is at peace!  wub.gif

2) ~2003/2004~ The deaths of two Uncles & a Cousin.  These were prominent Men and their deaths dealt major blows to my family.  Two of these Men were to carry on as patriarchs of the family, so their passing was hard to deal with.  Two of these deaths were due to motor vehicle accidents, which were the result of making 'a bad choice'.  These deaths all occurred within a six-month time period, the first in July '03, the second in October '03 and the third in January '04.  It was very hard for me, because I never realized how much influence they had in my life.  Losing my Cousin (Peter) was hard for me, because we were the same age and grew up together.  People used to think we were twins, we looked very much alike - both tall with stunning good looks.  When Peter died, it was like losing a twin!   crying.gif   It took some time before I could bring myself to view him at the wake.  I felt like a part of me was ripped away, because we were so close to each other - "twins".  Now it's been a year and a half, and I'm still healing.

These events only made me develop into a stronger person!  I miss all of them dearly, but it brings me comfort that I'll see them again one day!


#13    Ashley-Star*Child

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Posted 10 July 2005 - 07:33 AM

Hmm there's enough to fill a book in my life, so I'll refrain from wasting forum space. tongue.gif


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#14    Paranoid Android

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Posted 10 July 2005 - 10:28 AM

Thanks for your all your replies....

Sherri - that's an amazing story.  I'm speechless.

Nativechick - tragedy's are always difficult, but it seems that they also bring out the best in who we are.

All the best guys,

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My blog is now taking a new direction.  Dedicated to my father who was a great inspiration in my life, I wish to honour his memory (RIP, dad) by sharing with the world what he had always kept to himself.  More details, http://www.unexplain...showentry=27811

#15    dezza

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Posted 21 July 2005 - 01:17 PM

QUOTE(morticia1197 @ May 11 2005, 11:14 AM)
This is a condensed version.  It would take a few chapters to get into all the reasons and things that have shaped my religious views and beliefs.  As far as religion goes, my change came when I was about 10.  I was raised in the southern baptist faith.  I had gone to this church all of my life.  When I was 10, my sunday school teacher was also the preacher.  I was the only girl in the class.  He would make off color comments to the boys in front of me.  He finally got to a point that he would make suggestive comments about me being the only girl in the class.  I thought to myself, if this is supposed to be a christian man of god, then I want no part of the beliefs that christianity has set.   I have not been back to a church outside of when I conduct funerals since then.  I have people constantly trying to recruit me.  It gets annoying, because I know what it all about and I can't handle the hypocrisy.  The other religious change in my life was when I was about 18.  I met a woman I worked with and we became friends.  She never came out and told me, but she practiced paganism.  I found out through watching her and talking with her children, which were around the same age as me.  I asked her about it, and she gave me numerous books to read and said when I was done come back to her and then we would talk.  She help me sort out the feelings of digust and let down I felt about God and the whole spiritual thing.  She gave me a basis to build my own beliefs that I was comfortable with.  Forever will I be grateful for the help she gave. It was at that point that I realized that spirituality doesn't have a damn thing to do with religion.  My southern baptist community still tries every now and again to knock the pagan devil out of me, LOL, but I stand firm and try to educate them instead of striking back.  Not that it does much good. sad.gif   So, I don't have many friends where I live.  I guess that is why I chat and go to forums like this for like minded people  original.gif

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