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Is there a secret to a happy marriage?

adam gopnik happy marrige secret

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53 replies to this topic

#1    Still Waters

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 01:06 PM

Nobody can explain the secret to a happy marriage, says Adam Gopnik, but it doesn't stop people trying.

Anyone who tells you their rules for a happy marriage doesn't have one. There's a truth universally acknowledged, or one that ought to be anyway.

http://www.bbc.co.uk...gazine-21940297

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#2    Frank Merton

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 01:30 PM

One rule-of-thumb:  if all the in-laws on both sides are sure it won't work out, it almost certainly will.


#3    freetoroam

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 01:48 PM

My husband and I have never had a row, well, not one he has ever won anyway. :yes:

In an ideal World a law would be passed were NO guns were allowed and all those out there destroyed, trouble is the law makers are not going to take a risk of trying to pass that without making sure they are armed first.

#4    and then

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 02:53 PM

The only "secret" I know for sure is that lying WILL kill a marriage.  Bad business and very much to be avoided - lots of pain follows in it's wake!

  We've cast the world, we've set the stage,
  for what could be, the darkest age...

#5    Frank Merton

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:01 PM

Ah but telling the truth kills a marriage too.


#6    Odd Requiem

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:03 PM

Talking kills marriages!
Become a mime. Marry a mime.
Problem solved!


(Clearly I'm not married)

-I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.//

#7    Frank Merton

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:11 PM

There are several things a man must not do.  One is cheat; that makes all kinds of lies unnecessary.  The second is never ever resort to any sort of physical violence or even the remotest suggestion of it.  The third is not spend much money.  Things like gambling and drinking must be kept under very strict budgets.  Making money helps, but not spending what you don't have is much more important.

Oh -- and clean up your own messes.


#8    Queen in the North

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:15 PM

I think sometimes women need to realise THEY need to work at the relationship, too.

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#9    Frank Merton

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:17 PM

View PostQueen in the North, on 31 March 2013 - 03:15 PM, said:

I think sometimes women need to realise THEY need to work at the relationship, too.
That is the woman's job; it is not the man's job to tell her.


#10    Still Waters

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:22 PM

How about tolerance? as nobody's perfect. I think it helps when you really know the person you're married to but then that comes with being married a long time. You get to know each others annoying niggly habits - which is where tolerance comes in, on both sides.

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#11    rashore

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 03:58 PM

I dunno if there is a secret.. But my mom always said your lover should be your friend too, you have to like the person you love. Honesty and being an actual partner helps too.
I think everyones relationships are a little different though, what works for some does not work for others. Maybe part of happiness is being with someone you are willing to figure it out with, and they are just as willing.


#12    Queen in the North

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Posted 31 March 2013 - 09:39 PM

View PostStill Waters, on 31 March 2013 - 03:22 PM, said:

How about tolerance? as nobody's perfect. I think it helps when you really know the person you're married to but then that comes with being married a long time. You get to know each others annoying niggly habits - which is where tolerance comes in, on both sides.
Any more pearls of wisdom for us? ;-)

I don't think anyone who is not married can really know the secret to a happy marriage...

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#13    Arbenol

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 01:09 AM

The secret to a happy marriage is very simple: Have a mutual understanding on who makes what decisions.

For example, my wife and I agree that I will make decisions on matters of great importance, and she will decide on less serious matters.

So, my wife gets to decide all the trivial stuff like what I eat, how much I can drink, what friends I can have, how I dress and how much money I can spend.

I get to decide on the important stuff like global warming and the Middle East peace process.


#14    Lilly

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 02:21 AM

Must be a very well kept secret as I've not seen too many happy marriages.

"Ignorance is ignorance. It is a state of mind, not an opinion." ~MID~


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#15    ciriuslea

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 02:44 AM

Is there a* secret, surely what makes a marriage happy has to be different for each couple, but its one of the most endearing sights is seeing a couple who live near me still holding hands at what must be 70 while they walk the dogs





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