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No One Told Me When

Posted by Dr. D , 18 September 2012 · 321 views

You come to me in times least expected.  You appear with the slightest invitation.  The perfume bottle I dared not throw away.  Your pink dress still hangs limp and sad in the closet.  A song, a sound, a fleeting sight brings you into my mind as if you had never left.  I cannot flee from you.  You capture my thoughts and force them into the past where once we lived.

You stay with me through long, dreary nights.  Closing my eyes, I can feel your warmth beside me and hear the soft rhythm of your breath.  I dare not open them.  It is illusion feasting on my aloneness and the empty space is better unseen.  I can so easily deny truth and refute reality and find comfort in simple belief.  You are here and the real illusion is that you were gone from me.  It was a bad dream and it will soon be ending.

How can so many things keep you vibrant upon my thoughts?  Where do they come from?  I have never heard a laugh like yours.  I have never seen the bubbling energy that simply made you, you.  I have seen no one turn and glance over their shoulder like you.  I have seen no replica of any part of you and yet you are brought to me like the ghosts of thoughts and dream spirits.  You take form and dance through my mind with abandon and I am helpless, subjected to you with awe and wonder.

Was it madness creating the belief that you were forever gone?  I feel that you are in the garden, pruning the rose bush as you did each year.  You are humming in the kitchen and pushing a casserole into the oven.  You will bounce into the room at any moment and sit beside me, folding your legs beneath you and showing me something in Home & Garden.  I can hear the shears clicking.  I can smell the casserole.  I will hear, “Look at this!” with that funny accent.

Well meaning friends told me long ago, “You have to move on.”  They would smile slightly and sigh, “It will get better.”  I moved on.  I’m waiting for the rest and no one told me when it would happen.




My first post on your blog. Very well written.

Curiousity gets the better of me, so I have to ask, what was her name?
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Carol
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Thanks for that. Gives me a name. She sounded like a wonderful person.
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Wordless Wanderer
Sep 27 2012 05:11 AM
I have seen many couples in love and people who've lost their significant other . But never have I seen a love this intense.
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