Hi! In three days you will all be dead

[dice401]

Hi! In three days you will all be dead

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Good news for you! All worries, over soon. All concerns laid to rest. Everything transformed in a white-hot eyeblink of OMG WTF into a lukewarm puddlepool of odious harp music, angel squeals and tepid moral pudding. I know, right? Finally! This much we know: In a mere 72 hours (give or take, time zone depending, sometime before brunch) millions of true believers shall be whisked off to a cloudless overlit megadome where no one has sex and no one reads books and everyone is huddled together in a massive quivering vanilla cuddleparty, despite the requisite 500 layers of scratchy taffeta. Please remove your jewelry.

Original Article

Edited May 18, 2011 by Saru
Trimmed for length - please don't copy and paste large articles

[dice401]

I don't believe in all this May 21st stuff, but I still thought this was a interesting article.

[zenfahr]

Cool article

I love the exploding candy jesuses over the colorado rockies!!

[Princess Tumbleweed]

Cool article

I love the exploding candy jesuses over the colorado rockies!!

Me too!

We are not promised one minute on this earth. If we live our lives knowing that yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised and that today is real and make the most of today so we have no regrets about yesterday and hope for a possible tomorrow and give thanks when we wake up that we are given a chance to live a new day. There is only one true fact about anyones future, One day we will die.

[Missile Punch]

Great article. A positive view such as this is refreshing. People are so caught up with trying to predict the end these days that they forget to live their lives. The only thing that would have made this article better would be to have gone without the guy telling everyone he m********es. If you're worried about it take it up with your pastor dude, nobody here gives a damn.

[Pandora7321]

I'm thinking it'll be great with all those people gone. Less overcrowding, less of a drain on natural resources, less pollution. Hmmm, kinda sounds wonderful actually.

[The Metal]

anyone else starting to get addicted to the rush of surviving the apocalypse? seriously i've survived so many now its starting to become a problem

i cant wait for may 23rd, my next fix.

[Taut]

Hi! In three days you will all be dead

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Good news for you! All worries, over soon. All concerns laid to rest. Everything transformed in a white-hot eyeblink of OMG WTF into a lukewarm puddlepool of odious harp music, angel squeals and tepid moral pudding. I know, right? Finally! This much we know: In a mere 72 hours (give or take, time zone depending, sometime before brunch) millions of true believers shall be whisked off to a cloudless overlit megadome where no one has sex and no one reads books and everyone is huddled together in a massive quivering vanilla cuddleparty, despite the requisite 500 layers of scratchy taffeta. Please remove your jewelry.

ROFLMAO. Loved it!!!

[Taut]

Great article. A positive view such as this is refreshing. People are so caught up with trying to predict the end these days that they forget to live their lives. The only thing that would have made this article better would be to have gone without the guy telling everyone he m********es. If you're worried about it take it up with your pastor dude, nobody here gives a damn.

Oh for heaven sakes, chill out. It was a cynical reference to dogma and sin.

[rashore]

I'm kind of curious about the whole zap thing by now... I sort of wonder just how many people there are currently that qualify for zapping.

I'm betting with todays trends there would be way more dead rising that living zapped. I'm also betting more people wouldn't be zapped than would be zapped.. so maybe not so much on the better parking space at brunch, lol.

Maybe this whole zombie trend is really a grass roots preparedness to society for when the rapture hits

[zenfahr]

Me too!

We are not promised one minute on this earth. If we live our lives knowing that yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised and that today is real and make the most of today so we have no regrets about yesterday and hope for a possible tomorrow and give thanks when we wake up that we are given a chance to live a new day. There is only one true fact about anyones future, One day we will die.

Not me.... that is a fallacy of logic

Im immortal..... at least until someone proves me wrong

and then I just dont think I'll care

[Juuri]

Ive never heard that something will happen on may 21...

[StarGateAtlantis]

they just made an article about it on CNN.com. I've been waiting for one to happen in a while. Now theres thousands of people debating on whether or not they should be worried or not. They are acting like a chicken's head just got cut off.

[Agent D. Scully]

Do you know how many times different faiths have predicted the world would end? Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. If you are a believer in the Christian faith, then you should know that it says that nobody knows when the world will end, not the angels, not Jesus, just the big guy.

I,personally, am not a christian, nor do I believe that the second coming is in three days. But guess what? If it is, I'll still be here, I suppose. I'm not overly concerned about it.

[Kismit]

This is a family show guys. Keep it clean please.

[UFO_Monster]

Technically, less than 72 hours remain, but I'm posting it anyway:

[Wookietim]

You know what really fascinates me the most about this? Not the prediction (That is the same old prediction we get at least three or four times a year just with a new date) or the religion (All religion pass the hat around so that we get a Judeo/Christian apocalypse, a Muslim Apocalypse, and then a new-age-non-denominational apocalypse predicted in succession)... It's the question of why this one became so widespread and not some other one.

Think about it - I would guess that there must have been at least 4 or 5 end of the world predictions in the last two years. None of them ever got beyond a tiny group of people so they weren't heard about. But then we have this one and the Mayan 2012 prediction that everybody seems to have heard of.

Is it the source? I mean, do the people that made this one just have a better PR staff? Or is it the timing - between the economy and everything else going on were people just more pre-disposed to believe this stuff? Or is there some other sociological factor that causes one end of the world prediction to grab people's attention while other ones never even surface?

[UFO_Monster]

You know what really fascinates me the most about this? Not the prediction (That is the same old prediction we get at least three or four times a year just with a new date) or the religion (All religion pass the hat around so that we get a Judeo/Christian apocalypse, a Muslim Apocalypse, and then a new-age-non-denominational apocalypse predicted in succession)... It's the question of why this one became so widespread and not some other one.

Think about it - I would guess that there must have been at least 4 or 5 end of the world predictions in the last two years. None of them ever got beyond a tiny group of people so they weren't heard about. But then we have this one and the Mayan 2012 prediction that everybody seems to have heard of.

Is it the source? I mean, do the people that made this one just have a better PR staff? Or is it the timing - between the economy and everything else going on were people just more pre-disposed to believe this stuff? Or is there some other sociological factor that causes one end of the world prediction to grab people's attention while other ones never even surface?

These guys were advertising heavily. A lot of stuff is going down even as we speak...but nothing that could lead to the end of the world.

[Agent D. Scully]

You know what really fascinates me the most about this? Not the prediction (That is the same old prediction we get at least three or four times a year just with a new date) or the religion (All religion pass the hat around so that we get a Judeo/Christian apocalypse, a Muslim Apocalypse, and then a new-age-non-denominational apocalypse predicted in succession)... It's the question of why this one became so widespread and not some other one.

Think about it - I would guess that there must have been at least 4 or 5 end of the world predictions in the last two years. None of them ever got beyond a tiny group of people so they weren't heard about. But then we have this one and the Mayan 2012 prediction that everybody seems to have heard of.

Is it the source? I mean, do the people that made this one just have a better PR staff? Or is it the timing - between the economy and everything else going on were people just more pre-disposed to believe this stuff? Or is there some other sociological factor that causes one end of the world prediction to grab people's attention while other ones never even surface?

I live basically in the middle of nowhere, and I was in the car with my mum the other day going to a doctor's appointment and we saw a sign for the second coming on a billboard, no kidding. If there are ads for it way out here, there must be a lot in heavily populated areas. Going to the big cities (well Pittsburgh haha) I saw a van with an ad on it, as well as someone handing out pamphlets in the street. I guess that's why it's so famous, they're doing a good job at spreading the word.

[Wookietim]

I live basically in the middle of nowhere, and I was in the car with my mum the other day going to a doctor's appointment and we saw a sign for the second coming on a billboard, no kidding. If there are ads for it way out here, there must be a lot in heavily populated areas. Going to the big cities (well Pittsburgh haha) I saw a van with an ad on it, as well as someone handing out pamphlets in the street. I guess that's why it's so famous, they're doing a good job at spreading the word.

But I remember other times I saw churches erecting billboards (At least locally - in Delaware where I lived at the time) that predicted the end of the world and that never caught on... Granted, that was the state of "Dull and Unaware" so it might have escaped the notice of the broader world...

[Missile Punch]

Oh for heaven sakes, chill out. It was a cynical reference to dogma and sin.

Oh for heaven sakes. I don't care.

[Agent D. Scully]

Oh for heavens sakes let's not fight about something silly.

[Missile Punch]

Oh for heavens sakes let's not fight about something silly.

[farandaway]

Think of all the jobs that are going to become available...I can't wait. LOL

Hilarious article.

[Sir Wearer of Hats]

I love how people say "I predicted it based on the Bible" in one breathe and then mention "the Rapture" which isn't, actually, mentioned in the Bible!!

If anything, there'll be a big "resist at your peril" summons to Megeddon for the believers where we'll all knuckle down and wait for the armies of the beast to turn up and kick our arses until Jesus arrives.