Grandma Died, I have to live

[Yinarchy]

I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I post this as information, not debate.

I posted an article on UM, ErieLeary about the capacity to spontaneously become another. I have no doubt that we are eternal and holographic, each contains the whole.

I don't know how many names and facts are allowed, but I hope this isn't edited.

My son Jesse Finnegan, lives with his Grandma, Irma Finnegan. Her only other grandchild, Peter Helfrich, is her heart-- he lived with her most his life, but now is estranged from the tribe, except for Grandma. A few months ago, Jesse stopped talking to me, in particular, and therefore, the rest of my branch of the tribe. He has never given a reason.

My first Grandson, Jacob, lived with me most his life-- he is my heart-- until age 14 when he was incarcerated for 3 to 10 for raping his little sister. I am the only one there for him. He's in a living hell and will be on the sexual offenders registry the rest of his life, which means he'll never have a life.

In the middle of January, this year, I visited Grandma. My last memory of her was crying. “Jesse won't talk to me either.”

Days later, Jacob told me over the phone that he'd called Jesse, who told him Grandma had a stroke. I immediately began calling Jesse and other relatives, none who answered, but I left messages. One morning a man I didn't know, a friend of Jesse's, answered the phone and told me Grandma was in the hospital. I called the hospital, and she wasn't there.

I am poor and have no transportation. I stepped up my frantic calling, I left messages. On Feb 13 (Yesterday) I had a dream. There was a knock on the door. I opened it. It was Jesse. I embraced him, but when when I pulled back to look at his face, I realized it was Aunt Betty. And she was dead. Then I realized it was Grandma. And she was dead.

“Peter is crying,” she conveyed to me.

I awoke and immediately went to the internet to search the local obituaries. There it was: IRMA FINNEGAN: She had died on Feb 6^th and her obituary, with included her cats, but not me or Peter, was published on the 10^th.

Shock. I knew it was true, but it didn't seem real.

With dread, I googled Peter. From the Pahrump NV News:One man is in custody after allegedly admitting to Nye County Sheriff’s deputies that he killed his neighbor after the man reportedly chased him around his trailer with a knife.

Peter J. Helfrich, 37, was arrested Thursday morning around 11:04 a.m. on charges of involuntary manslaughter and destroying/concealing evidence after police were dispatched to a trailer located at the Waterhole RV Park on Fifth and East streets.

According to a declaration of arrest in the case, officers were called to the location around 7:50 a.m. for a report of a suicide threat, at which time they made contact with Helfrich.

Helfrich was reportedly crying when deputies found him and told police he “didn’t want to live because he had done a terrible thing.”

Finally Aunt Liz picked up the phone when I called and confirmed that no one will have any thing to do with Peter. He beat his neighbor to death with a metal baseball bat, dismembered the body and thew it into a canyon for the coyotes to eat.

This was the mantel Grandma had given me: By the time I managed to reach Peter, he was charged with first degree murder and facing the death penalty.

“Grandma died,” I managed, and her essence kept me from adding, “She dropped dead when she heard the evil you have done. The pain you have caused. The pain you are in.”

He gave out a wail like a wild animal. A coyote's cry.

I told him about my “dream.” I told him Grandma loves him. I told him, “I will always be there for you.”

This is almost too much for me to carry.

Some will demand evidence, but some will understand.

[Karen6566]

A very distressing situation you find yourself in....However, any one who causes harm to another living soul, deserves everything they get....My beleif is not only in this life but the next life. Karma, cause and effect, call it what you want, its all the same.....

If a child of mine did such horrendous crime, then I would wipe them out my life......I believe no one is born evil or bad, its a learned in some way.

My thoughts are with you,... you have to trust your own mind on what you choose to do with this situation. You have to live with that choice.

The dream I feel is your unconsciousness whilst asleep is battling with your conscious. This is only my opinion....

No one can make your chosen path, only you can do that. x