Liquid Gardens, on 21 January 2013 - 04:21 PM, said:
Which you say from the comfort of not just having your child murdered I presume? I'm not sure that you do really understand that 'people grieve differently', and I know that I wouldn't want my partly or largely emotional responses to be stripped entirely from their context and graded according to someone else's opinion that doesn't seem to truly allow or acknowledge that context. I have difficulty not looking at this criticism as "no, you shouldn't be making a facebook donation page, what you should instead be doing is sobbing inconsolably, waiting very anxiously for the call so you can go claim your child's body, etc, because I know better".
Not trying to pick on you specifically Capt, you aren't the first to essentially assert "I shall define what are legitimate expressions of grief', but I really don't think it's a particularly good argument.
Not 'a particularly good argument'? I for one(can't speak on behalf of others in this thread), have never said that everyone should express grief in a particular way; what I
have said is that I would expect
most people to behave in a particular way and then there would be
one or two exceptions to this. Why do I say this? Well, to begin with, think about animals expressing fear, aggression, submission etc. ....... with each species of animal this expression always has to be the same so that there is no confusion about what they are trying to convey to other members of the herd/group or an enemy. These expressions(and I include body language in this), also have to be consistent so that the younger members can learn them and not get attacked or know when to run from danger.
Back to humans: if you were asked to draw some human faces depicting different emotions, I'm willing to bet that your ideas of what expresses happiness, fear, shock, sadness etc. would be pretty much the same as everyone else's doing the same task. Why? because we have not grown that far away from our ancestors who needed to behave like the animals I have mentioned in the previous paragraph. This is why I said what I did and stand by it.
So where does that leave us in this particular argument? Can you explain to me what could possibly make President Obama think that the most appropriate response when being photographed with parents who had had their child brutally murdered just days before, is to
smile? And why are the parents
smiling? To me, these are
not people putting a 'brave face' on the most appalling situation that they will probably ever have to face.
I live in the UK and I have to say I have never seen this 'phenomenon' over here ...... so now I'm wondering
why this is the case .......