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He Packed His Bags Last Night

Posted by coldethyl , 11 September 2012 · 582 views

He says he doesn't want to contribute to me being sad all the time anymore.  He doesn't understand about bi-polar.  We've had a rough few months and he thinks that my depression is all his fault.  Plus we are in a financial strain because I am trying to get disability and I can only work and earn so much a month and it isn't enough to pay all our bills when he doesn't work overtime.
When my disability comes through I will get back pay, but what are we supposed to do now in the mean time?
I have never felt so sick and abandoned as I did when I walked into the bedroom and saw his things in garbage bags and a box.  Then when he decided to stay and he brought all these things in from his car I could have just vanished and never existed and been perfectly fine with that.
I decided that I would just get a job full time again and try and do night shift so I can take my kids back and forth to college and pay the lawyer for what they've done so far but so far no luck in finding a job at all.
I feel like everything is my fault and I don't know what to do and that leads to more depression and then that leads to him feeling bad and 4 years this month is going to be gone because of it.
The thing is, we only have to get through to April when he can get a loan from his 401k and we can pay some things off and get a house of our own.
He saw where I cut myself the other week and didn't deal with that well.  I am such a mess and maybe it would be better if I was alone.  Grandparents on one side would take my kids in, I'm sure.  I don't want to live this life anymore.




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We are no longer isolated in a world unaware of our problems and fears.  He must love you dearly because his motive for wanting to leave concerned your welfare, not his.  But permit me to suggest this . . . . we must enter a six month survival period until April.  After four years, what’s six months?  But during that time, if you have problems communicating or if your despondency grows past your control, surround yourself (both of you) with a group of us waiting to listen, console and advise.  Before he packs his things, he too should communicate with us and understand that we, too, have endured the torture of daily life and the garbage it can bring.  We can help you both understand that together, you are greater than whatever challenge confronts you.  And remember, if we didn’t truly care, we would not be sending these messages.
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I like what Dr. D said, very wise.  We need community, peopl who will listen to us.  You are loved, hold on to that.  You have a good man in your life. Can't add anything more.  Dr. D, said it all.

Peace
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Thank you all
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