233 replies to this topic

[Arpee]

Seeker, I need help in my love situation... I'm really confused...

He tells me that he loves me and all he needs is me and he even wants to move in and live with me, but he has had girlfriends before (we are both guys). Me and him have such a strong bond, I can feel it. I don't know though because he still wants a girlfriend to get laid but he says that all he cares about is me, and even though it may seem like he's straight I know he is not 100% and that he does love and care for me. This is confusing and I'm not sure what's going on here.

I also talk about it in this thread. Link

[Seeker79]

Feelingz, on 11 February 2012 - 03:39 PM, said:

Hello Seeker, I have a new question.

I had recently broke up and got a divorce. In a way I felt relieved like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. And I never stay single for long. I was searching for my soul mate. I know he's out there but feel like I'm running n circles.

Question: Will I end up getting back together with my ex or will I move on and form a new bond with someone new or even my soul mate?

Hi feelingz

My guides are impressing upon me that you have yet to discover self love. This is why you experience the turbulence that you do. Her in particular is stressing that until you work on you and stop trying replace something lost in childhood and haveing these expectations of your lovers, you will forever be dissatisfied. Feelingz ...... There is not going to be some man that makes it all better. There is no saviour knight.  You have to be better And get better for yourself. Peaceful powerful love happens when two people who are centered come together a there are no demands from the other only a desire to give to each other. It certainly is rare but it's obtainable, but it bigins not with another but self.

You may return to your x or not those are your choices.... But none of the issues are just going to go away. Time amplifies things. Is sugest you find a way to center yourself and be the source of your emotional fulfillment.

[Seeker79]

Arpee, on 11 February 2012 - 09:36 PM, said:

Seeker, I need help in my love situation... I'm really confused...

He tells me that he loves me and all he needs is me and he even wants to move in and live with me, but he has had girlfriends before (we are both guys). Me and him have such a strong bond, I can feel it. I don't know though because he still wants a girlfriend to get laid but he says that all he cares about is me, and even though it may seem like he's straight I know he is not 100% and that he does love and care for me. This is confusing and I'm not sure what's going on here.

I also talk about it in this thread. Link

Arpee.... Love is a choice. You have a powerful inteligence. You already know he will never fully give up his heterosexuality. For a man to give up women... Even if he is bi sexual is about the hardest choice he could ever make. If you are 100% gay ( homosexual.. I don't know the PC label these days), it would be like you choosing to give up men.

Arpee you need to make choices for love that are self loveing at the same time. You either accept who and what someone is and choose yo love them or love them and move on. If you are going to be in a state of loathing because you know this man can never fully give up women.... Then you know what choice you need to make.

[Arpee]

Ok, this seems like a risky situation because I never want to lose him. When you say he will never "fully" give up women, what do mean? How do you think our relationship will be? Would it last or will he eventually fall away from me for a women, or do you think he'll really stay in love with me and just mess around with them sometimes on the side. How much do you think he is willing to give? And what would happen if I were to sleep with other men when he was with other women?

[Seeker79]

Arpee, on 12 February 2012 - 04:12 AM, said:

Ok, this seems like a risky situation because I never want to lose him. When you say he will never "fully" give up women, what do mean? How do you think our relationship will be? Would it last or will he eventually fall away from me for a women, or do you think he'll really stay in love with me and just mess around with them sometimes on the side. How much do you think he is willing to give? And what would happen if I were to sleep with other men when he was with other women?

I mean exactly what it sounds like. Even If he has a committed monogomouse mentality like i do in my marriage he will still pine for women. But of course us maried men still do anyway. It will come down to his choice of what monogamy means to him, and how committed he is to monogamous promises. I took vows of monogomy with my wife. They mean a lot to me for veriouse reasons, i am wholly committed to them. the keeping of them is closely tied to my self esteem and Identity . You know this man. If you expect him to be a life partner with these sorts of commitments, Does he take those sorts of vows as seriously as part of his morality.

If you are going to have an open relationship with this man, then that has to be a choice for both of you. It's a very giving choice actually if both people are comfortable enough with open sexuality. But be careful.

Now arpee.... Im beating around the bush with logic and wisdom from the spirits ( grandfather wants me to be straight wiith you), but my innervoices are giving me direct straight forward answers. No arpee. Im quite certain this is not going to work out. I'm sorry. There is no stable loveing energy in this situation. There are demands, self indulgences, mixed signals, and General confusion in more ways than three.

I know you want this relationship. And you know better than to make decisions based off of some guy claiming to speak with spirits, but my recommendation for you is to open a door for him but continue to go about your life without anykind of stress in this matter. if he comes through that door it should be with a clear understanding of how you intend to love yourself by loveing him. if you can't love yourself with the relationship arpee it will not be what you want. She is adament about this.

[Arpee]

You are so right there is a LOT of confusion and mixed signals and what I was hoping is that he'll eventually just snap out of the confusion and realize that he wants to be committed to me. He already told me that he wants to live with me and was making plans to move in with me. I'm going to try to slow down and not go too fast. Thanks for the advice it's exactly what I was thinking, if I don't know, don't rush into anything just live life and see how much he really loves me.

I'm going to focus more of my energy on MYSELF. Of course I still love him and stuff, but I feel so confused not knowing what's going on and what's he doing, and this causing me to feel bad,  and if this confusion is going to make our relationship AND friendship end, I'd rather not do anything, treat him as a friend, focus my love on myself so I won't feel lonely and see what happens as time passes. I would rather have him in my life even if just as a friend then to not have him at all, but I really do hope it's more, deep down inside. I guess I'll see, and until then I'll just keep focusing on me and how much I love myself.

[msm57]

OK, I'm interested to see what you have to say about my situation.
I hate my job, but at least I have a job.  I'm barely making enough to live on and have some outstanding bills (including a student loan) hanging over my head.  I am feeling old and tired all the time. My house is...let's just call it very unorganized and needs some work.  What should I be doing to change my circumstances and actually "have a life" during the remainder of my life here on earth.  I don't feel like I am "living", just here going thru the motions & surviving. I will listen open-mindedly to anything. Thanks

[Seeker79]

Arpee, on 12 February 2012 - 05:03 AM, said:

You are so right there is a LOT of confusion and mixed signals and what I was hoping is that he'll eventually just snap out of the confusion and realize that he wants to be committed to me. He already told me that he wants to live with me and was making plans to move in with me. I'm going to try to slow down and not go too fast. Thanks for the advice it's exactly what I was thinking, if I don't know, don't rush into anything just live life and see how much he really loves me.

I'm going to focus more of my energy on MYSELF. Of course I still love him and stuff, but I feel so confused not knowing what's going on and what's he doing, and this causing me to feel bad,  and if this confusion is going to make our relationship AND friendship end, I'd rather not do anything, treat him as a friend, focus my love on myself so I won't feel lonely and see what happens as time passes. I would rather have him in my life even if just as a friend then to not have him at all, but I really do hope it's more, deep down inside. I guess I'll see, and until then I'll just keep focusing on me and how much I love myself.

Well arpee I think it's a wise way to go about it. In fact that's what my little boy guide impressed upon my first. That you have already answered your own questions. ( he always says that to me) If it's of any value, I was in a similar in ways situation with my wife before we were maried and my decision to let it be and be happy with what we had made her fall in love with me more and it worked out. You see you love others that care about by loveing yourself. True love is circular. And the gift of open doors (without being vulnerable of course) is a powerful gesture of love.

[Arpee]

Definitely, thank you so much.

[Seeker79]

msm57, on 12 February 2012 - 05:33 AM, said:

OK, I'm interested to see what you have to say about my situation.
I hate my job, but at least I have a job.  I'm barely making enough to live on and have some outstanding bills (including a student loan) hanging over my head.  I am feeling old and tired all the time. My house is...let's just call it very unorganized and needs some work.  What should I be doing to change my circumstances and actually "have a life" during the remainder of my life here on earth.  I don't feel like I am "living", just here going thru the motions & surviving. I will listen open-mindedly to anything. Thanks

Well my friend the answer is that you need to be bold. Money is a slave master... You don't need as much as you think. Consumerism and industrialization conspires to enslave you. There are many exciting things to live. Be a beech bumb somewhere warm, become intimately involved with philanthropy, join the peaice core. Be dramatic.

I know money seems important... But honestly it's not. Money is easy

Tomorrow look for something that You can by for $100 then sell for $120. %20 markup. Then take that $120 and repeat. Do it 53 times. 53 TIMES!!!!!!!  Get it done In a year. You do the math of where that puts you.  

Hard??!? Maby but not really. Not as hard as you are living now.

I'm serious my friend the spirits are saying you need to break out. Redefine what being Human is all about. It's not about working your life away, flirting with alcoholism ( yeah I know), and enslaveing yourself to banks. Mortgage = engagement till death!!!!!

Go for it be bold. Forget responsabilitis it's not worth   Suffering over. ( unless children are involved)

You are also flirting with mild depression. You need to stay away from alcohol, make sure you are getting strenuous excercise, and eat a large breakfast every morning. Also...., at the risk of getting a mod lightning bolt comeing on down on me and check with your doctor first before takeing these harmless ( disclaimer ) suppliments. St. Jhons Wort and passion flower will do you a world of good. You can get them at your healthfood store.

The spirits are saying you cannot continue like this, you know this already. You must mix it up dramatically and change everything. You also need to pay close attention to your brain chemistry and avoid vices. I hope that helps.

[Seeker79]

msm57, on 12 February 2012 - 05:33 AM, said:

OK, I'm interested to see what you have to say about my situation.
I hate my job, but at least I have a job.  I'm barely making enough to live on and have some outstanding bills (including a student loan) hanging over my head.  I am feeling old and tired all the time. My house is...let's just call it very unorganized and needs some work.  What should I be doing to change my circumstances and actually "have a life" during the remainder of my life here on earth.  I don't feel like I am "living", just here going thru the motions & surviving. I will listen open-mindedly to anything. Thanks

I would also sugest some spiritual persuits. I know that's hard for you.., but it will help aswell.

[msm57]

Seeker79, on 12 February 2012 - 06:30 AM, said:

Well my friend the answer is that you need to be bold. Money is a slave master... You don't need as much as you think. Consumerism and industrialization conspires to enslave you. There are many exciting things to live. Be a beech bumb somewhere warm, become intimately involved with philanthropy, join the peaice core. Be dramatic.

I know money seems important... But honestly it's not. Money is easy

Tomorrow look for something that You can by for $100 then sell for $120. %20 markup. Then take that $120 and repeat. Do it 53 times. 53 TIMES!!!!!!!  Get it done In a year. You do the math of where that puts you.  

Hard??!? Maby but not really. Not as hard as you are living now.

I'm serious my friend the spirits are saying you need to break out. Redefine what being Human is all about. It's not about working your life away, flirting with alcoholism ( yeah I know), and enslaveing yourself to banks. Mortgage = engagement till death!!!!!

Go for it be bold. Forget responsabilitis it's not worth   Suffering over. ( unless children are involved)

You are also flirting with mild depression. You need to stay away from alcohol, make sure you are getting strenuous excercise, and eat a large breakfast every morning. Also...., at the risk of getting a mod lightning bolt comeing on down on me and check with your doctor first before takeing these harmless ( disclaimer ) suppliments. St. Jhons Wort and passion flower will do you a world of good. You can get them at your healthfood store.

The spirits are saying you cannot continue like this, you know this already. You must mix it up dramatically and change everything. You also need to pay close attention to your brain chemistry and avoid vices. I hope that helps.

whoa! that's a mixed bag of ideas.  I have never even come close to being alcoholic. While I do "have a beer" now and then, I can't tell you the date of the last one I had.  I have stomach issues & mostly just don't drink.
Yes, I have mild depression.  I don't have $100 to my name right now. I rent, so no mortgage. (repairs to the house are my responsibility because I caused the damage, at least some of it). Not needing money & living on less??? I'll tell you a secret. I earn & live on around $1,000 a month take home pay.  Try that on for size. I have a student loan balance of $15,000 from ten yrs ago! so, yes, I need money to pay off some bills, as I stated.  Not for consumerism.
The parts I agree with? I agree I need to be bold, would love to live on a beach somewhere warm (it's 23deg here right now), I cannot continue like this. I definitely need to mix it up dramatically & change everything.  Thanks for the advice.

[msm57]

Seeker79, on 12 February 2012 - 06:36 AM, said:

I would also sugest some spiritual persuits. I know that's hard for you.., but it will help aswell.

I am a non-denominational Christian who does not believe a person has to attend Church to worship, but yes, I could study my Bible more & pray & meditate on God. Thanks again.
PS. I said I would be open-minded & I believe I have been.  It's just that I feel your guides missed the mark on some of my problems.  With the other people you were helping on here, you seemed to be interpreting what your guides had given you.  Here it seemed you were stating your opinions, imo.  It seems to me you have some sort of hang-ups when it comes to money & consumerism.  I assure you I am not that way.  I have lived on next to nothing, and raised 4 kids while doing it, for so long I don't know anything different. And yes, I am feeling old and sick and tired & wish I could just quit.  Thanks again for the advice.  I don't know what I can do to change my circumstances, but I know it rests with me, not anyone else. Thanks again.

Edited by msm57, 12 February 2012 - 07:38 AM.

[Seeker79]

msm57, on 12 February 2012 - 07:31 AM, said:

I am a non-denominational Christian who does not believe a person has to attend Church to worship, but yes, I could study my Bible more & pray & meditate on God. Thanks again.
PS. I said I would be open-minded & I believe I have been.  It's just that I feel your guides missed the mark on some of my problems.  With the other people you were helping on here, you seemed to be interpreting what your guides had given you.  Here it seemed you were stating your opinions, imo.  It seems to me you have some sort of hang-ups when it comes to money & consumerism.  I assure you I am not that way.  I have lived on next to nothing, and raised 4 kids while doing it, for so long I don't know anything different. And yes, I am feeling old and sick and tired & wish I could just quit.  Thanks again for the advice.  I don't know what I can do to change my circumstances, but I know it rests with me, not anyone else. Thanks again.

I'm glad there was something there you could use. By consumerism I didn't mean you need more money to do stuff. I mean the system as a whole has got it's grip into you. That is the problem here. You have all these bills and not enough salary, and you are stressing yourself into the grave over it. It's not so much of a problem with consumerism as it Is what it does to people just like you. I'll tell you this, I don't have as much of a problem with consumerism as the guides do. I have a degree in economics and could argue many virtues of trade and utility, They on the other hand consider it pointless. This constant persuit of dollars and keeping up with bills. Honestly my impressions are for you to forget about that student loan and not pay it. But I personally dont agree. The spirits care nothing for our economy and earthly responsibilities. Anti consumerism is them not me. We should probably listen more. I struggle with it aswell.

I'll stand by my impression that you need to avoid alcohol.. Weather that's something in your future or just general advice.

Can you do me a favor. Read back over your reply to me, and see if you can identify the seething negativity.

This is the culprit my friend. This attitude of yours Is damaging. This is why you are so stuck. In your mind the attitude is a result of your circumstances, in reality your circumstances are a result of your attitude. Which of course can also be a symptom of the depression we are talking about.

This is your battle. It's not against finances, or career choice, or being "old". Your not that old. Your only just turned what 55. Your birthday is the same as mine by the way. A small synchronistic event that forces me to Persue this.

This depression is worse than I thought. You should see a doctor. I loath parmacuticl depression medication, that's why I gave you advice on an herbal alternative, but if you have been living with it for long enough it can be the dominating factor in your life, and you would not even know it. This affects everything you do.

My friend if you can just remove this dark filter, I promise things will get better. Unfortunately, I think you may have been living with it for a very long time. Chemical intervention from a doctor can go a long ways. I have seen it completely about face some people. The st Jhons wort, and passion flower have a much milder dose if a chemical used in anti depressants ( again didclaimer.., chech with your doc). This chemical interceded with  the enzyme that works with the metabolizstion of serotonin that is naturally produced in your body. As serotonin begins to build In your system  you start to feel better, and these clouds that tint everything so negatively start to lift. Please talk to your doctor about it. Or just research yourself those two herbs and see what I am talking about.

You wanted a real answer to financial issues. I gave you one. That formula makes you a millionaire in 53 moves. You could collect cans to find a $100... But you seem unwilling to even consider it. The reason I'm pointing this out is because this is the depression talking. Think about it. Every financial problem you have ever had solved In 53 steps. That should be worth your attention, but instead you focus on what you don't have. You can do the same thing with $5 and 68 steps. Do you have $5? Can you find something at a flee market that you can buy for $5, then sell for $6. If you can you only have 67 steps to go before you are a millionaire. Just try it? In your spare time.

I'm sorry I missed the mark with a couple of things, but my innervoice is screaming at me to get you to see the real underlying problem. It's not money.

[Feelingz]

Seeker79, on 12 February 2012 - 03:13 AM, said:

Hi feelingz

My guides are impressing upon me that you have yet to discover self love. This is why you experience the turbulence that you do. Her in particular is stressing that until you work on you and stop trying replace something lost in childhood and haveing these expectations of your lovers, you will forever be dissatisfied. Feelingz ...... There is not going to be some man that makes it all better. There is no saviour knight.  You have to be better And get better for yourself. Peaceful powerful love happens when two people who are centered come together a there are no demands from the other only a desire to give to each other. It certainly is rare but it's obtainable, but it bigins not with another but self.

You may return to your x or not those are your choices.... But none of the issues are just going to go away. Time amplifies things. Is sugest you find a way to center yourself and be the source of your emotional fulfillment.

Thank you. However, I do love myself though. The only reason I broke up with my ex was because of his anger and he had trouble with being affectionate. I did not lose anything in my child hood and I believe in true love. I always gave to my ex and he was lacking due to his child hood. I am balanced. Thanks for answering.